Mysteries of... Canada!
July 22, 2006 11:57 PM   Subscribe

 
Couldn't get past the bad site design.

I think, though, that the reason why you don't hear a lot about a Canadian folk history or mythology is that we are so spread out and regionalized, maybe even more than the US.

"Canadian folklore" sounds bizzarre and incongruous, but to say Newfoundland folklore, Quebec folklore, PEI folklore, prairie, Northern, Yukon, etc. etc. can bring out streams of the most rich history you can imagine from a relatively young country.
posted by Space Coyote at 1:54 AM on July 23, 2006


Mystery #1: web design that transcends 1986 /snark
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:55 AM on July 23, 2006


You're simply trying too hard to keep your name on the blue.
posted by scottymac at 2:40 AM on July 23, 2006


Yeah the design is kinda hokey and old-fashioned (except maybe it perfectly matches the content), but there's tons of interesting stuff in there. For a Canadian, at least.
I mean, I did not know that there are supposedly three brass bathtubs at the bottom of Emerald Lake in the Rockies, or that an obscure little town north of Ottawa boasts a grand, Romanesque stone bridge, or that the sand dunes of Sandbanks Provincial Park had buried roads and buildings.
I mean, do people outside of Canada even know about the Robertson screw? This is an extremely effective piece of design that has been adopted for just about everything in Canada, but nowhere else (granted, the piece doesn't do a very good job of explaining why this is so, how Robertson got beat out by Phillips, but still)
posted by Flashman at 3:39 AM on July 23, 2006


I was just amazed to find out that, for some reason, Tim Horton is considered a "mystery"... :-
The only mystery about Tim Horton's is how they can make such bad donuts and still stay in business!
posted by HuronBob at 3:51 AM on July 23, 2006


Flashman... Robertson, after a bad experience and having to repurchase the rights to his design, refused to allow others to license the design...When Henry Ford tried out the Robertson screws he found they saved considerable time in the production of the cars but when Robertson refused to license the screws to Ford, he realised that the use of the screws would not be guaranteed and stopped using them. This largely explains why they never became established in the United States. (from the wiki)...
posted by HuronBob at 3:55 AM on July 23, 2006


Yeah, that's pretty much what the Legends site says too - it's surprising that just the one licensing agreement would have such an impact, but I don't think engineering-type applivcations are really the Robertson's forte. What about in construction, carpentry, that kind of thing - that's where it really comes into its own - you stick it on the driver bit on the end of your drill and it'll stay there as you drive it. Are they not used at all south of the border?
posted by Flashman at 4:17 AM on July 23, 2006


HuronBob, CSIS have been notified. Next time you try to enter LaMThe Country, you'll have to explain yourself over a box of TimBits and an XL 4x4 (aka "quad quad", a coffee with 4x cream and 4x sugar, approximately the consistency of caffeinated condensed milk).

Tim's donuts are not so bad; they're no Lamar's, but better than DD or KK.
posted by scruss at 5:18 AM on July 23, 2006


Are they not used at all south of the border?

I worked in construction for years and I've never heard of them until just now. Phillips screws are pretty much the only type you see here in the states for carpentry, drywall, etc.
posted by octothorpe at 6:07 AM on July 23, 2006


Flashman writes "I mean, do people outside of Canada even know about the Robertson screw?"

They are starting to be known in hobby circles.
posted by Mitheral at 6:52 AM on July 23, 2006


I never realized robertson screws were Canadian, just assumed they were normal everywhere...

Q: How many Canadians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the other one to point to him and say "He's Canadian, you know."
posted by Meatbomb at 6:54 AM on July 23, 2006


I like little-known facts and trivia about places. Thanks for the link.
posted by ashbury at 7:08 AM on July 23, 2006


Great stories worth clicking a bit for—thanks! Liked the BC tale of young heroine Doreen Ashburnham and her hapless cousin Anthony Farrer.
posted by cenoxo at 7:15 AM on July 23, 2006


I mean, do people outside of Canada even know about the Robertson screw? This is an extremely effective piece of design that has been adopted for just about everything in Canada, but nowhere else

You're joking, right? Robertsons have been used in Apple-built computers for a good while. The food at Tim Horton's is more of a secret.
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:47 AM on July 23, 2006


scottymac: "You're simply trying too hard to keep your name on the blue."

If you say so. I thought the bad design was part of what made it funny. Maybe you have to be Canadian to get the humour. Take it or leave it, eh?
posted by persona non grata at 7:58 AM on July 23, 2006



quonsar attaches legs to table bases using robertson bolts daily. as one can readily observe, he finds it to be a thrilling and highly erotic experience. thank you, canada.
posted by quonsar at 7:59 AM on July 23, 2006


Mysteries of Canada: Tim Horton's.

Why?
posted by Decani at 8:07 AM on July 23, 2006


Oh god damn. Read the damned thread before posting, Decani. Should have known someone would beat me to that one.
posted by Decani at 8:09 AM on July 23, 2006


Yeah, I don't get this Tim Horton's thing either, this rapturous love that Canadians are supposed to have for 'Timmies'.
Except perhaps that everything about Tim Horton's - their donuts, their soup n' sandwiches, their cheery strip mall shops - murmurs 'bland and inoffensive', so...

Glad to see though that Robertson's fine product is appreciated elsewhere though. We have so little to be proud of. Actually, dare I say it, for the furniture I make I go out of my way to use Phillips screws - I find the 'x' is just more pleasing aesthetically, more dynamic and expressive of their purpose and the action of turning.
posted by Flashman at 9:37 AM on July 23, 2006


Is it moosecock?
posted by isopraxis at 9:38 AM on July 23, 2006


The only mystery about Tim Horton's is how they can make such bad donuts and still stay in business!

au contraire: Even with 20 Timmies now in a 20 minute radius of my Rochester NY USA home, I still ponder the mystery of how anyone can tell their coffee from their dishwater.
posted by lodurr at 10:08 AM on July 23, 2006


The SS Ethie and the Hero Dog chronicles a shipwreck with no loss of life...

O Canada!
posted by storybored at 10:24 AM on July 23, 2006




When I read these articles, I hear Robert Stack's voice in my head and I feel his cold, dead eyes staring at me from the shadows. Unsolved Mysteries of Canada.
posted by stavrogin at 11:01 AM on July 23, 2006


thank you for posting that, Flashman - an excellent article indeed. The faux nationalism that verges into jingoism of Tim-love and other 'icons' can easy turn into something disposable and meaningless - which is what happens when you base your national identity on a co-oped corporation.

From that article:

"The reality is that our knowledge and appreciation of what we share in common — our history, political traditions and civic values (voting, volunteering, etc.) — are in steady decline. Whether it's an ambitious vision for Canada's role in the world or saving our natural environment for future generations, we need serious national symbols and goals that speak to the reality of Canada and challenge us to join together in common cause. [...] Surely Canada can come up with a better moniker than the Timbit Nation — the leftover part of the doughnut not sold to someone else. Or, maybe not ..."
posted by rmm at 11:22 AM on July 23, 2006


Does anyone have any more in-depth explanations as to why the U.S is more mythologized (both by itself and by other cultures ) than Canada? I live in Vancouver, and there's a curious lack of....something....to the city and surrounding area which is present in say, Minneapolis, San Francisco, New York. I find it hard to explain verbally, but it's like the psychic geography of the place is relatively flat, in odd contrast to the extremely dramatic physical geography. It's definitely not a lack of history, which there is in abundance - but a lack of mythology and self-identity, which is strongly suggested in rmm's snippet above as being a general Canadian issue.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:51 PM on July 23, 2006


Geez it's just donuts.
posted by storybored at 12:55 PM on July 23, 2006


@Jon Mitchell: I wasn't born in Vancouver, but I've lived here for 25 years. Do you mean that a "vibrancy" is missing? If so, I think I'd agree. I've travelled over much of the world, and I do love the way Boston feels, and Brisbane, and Hong Kong. However, Vancouver is probably the easiest city to live in, in my experience.

It's all-over Pacific Northwest-y here, without the sprawl of Seattle and with better weather. There are very few places in the world I'd rather be.
posted by illiad at 1:05 PM on July 23, 2006


Illiad: No, not quite - like I say, it's a quite weird and intangible thing to try and put your finger on. I'd never describe Minneapolis and Minnesota as "vibrant", but they definitely have it (whatever *it* is ) in a way Vancouver doesn't, quite.

I think it is partially a sense of connection to the past, which I don't really get here, and was very used to growing up - I'm from North England, and I've only lived here a year.

Don't get me wrong, I love the place - pretty much why I moved here, but at times I find it somewhat enigmatic and inscrutable.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 1:36 PM on July 23, 2006


Don't use the "@whoever" stupidity, puh-lease.

I mean, do people outside of Canada even know about the Robertson screw?

Much to my frustration, no. I assemble a fair bit of furniture in my job and they always use those goddamn Philips screws.

Things are better having bought a very expensive screwdriver that has cutting edges that grip the screw, but I still hate the fucking things and would dearly love to push them into the eyes of every damn designer who specs them for product. Philips are the second-most stupid screw design ever. (Common screws suck just slightly more.)

I encourage everyone 'round the world to demand better screws.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:45 PM on July 23, 2006


At last I learn the name of those funny square screws.
I am sure people all over the world will take five fresh fish's suggestion. :-)
posted by Cranberry at 1:55 PM on July 23, 2006


Amen.
posted by leftoverboy at 2:09 PM on July 23, 2006



posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 2:09 PM on July 23, 2006


Does this site know who cancelled Don Messer?
'Cuz that show was the shit, man.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:49 PM on July 23, 2006


Don Messer
posted by Flashman at 3:10 PM on July 23, 2006


Q: How do you circumcise a Newfie?
A: Nail his foreskin to the floor and put on a Don Messer record.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 4:27 PM on July 23, 2006


but at times I find [Vancouver] somewhat enigmatic and inscrutable.

"There's no there, there." -- Gertrude Stein, on Vancouver
posted by lodurr at 5:25 PM on July 23, 2006


In the face of common sense, no Canadian film maker has ever directed an Akira Kurosawa film. One country even managed to produce 32 Akira Kurosawa films.
posted by Captaintripps at 5:47 PM on July 23, 2006


"There's no there, there." -- Gertrude Stein, on Vancouver

Or, in reality, Gertrude Stein, on Oakland.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 5:57 PM on July 23, 2006


Now that's getting meta.
posted by lodurr at 6:37 PM on July 23, 2006


Lodurr: Sounds like she's talking about Oakland rather than Vancouver. Funny, though, the only time I've heard the "There's no there, there" quote before was in William Gibson's Neuromancer - and he's one of Van's more famous residents.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 6:48 PM on July 23, 2006


I had always heard she was referring to Vancouver. The quote is even attributed to be about Vancouver in a guidebook that I have upstairs.

S'okay. It just adds another layer of meta to an already kind of confusing and soupy thread.
posted by lodurr at 6:51 PM on July 23, 2006


@five fresh fish: Why is it stupid?
posted by illiad at 7:13 PM on July 23, 2006


A: Nail his foreskin to the floor and put on a Don Messer record.

Ah... 'cause we'd run like hell to get away from it (I keed, no hatin' on Don here).

Or, in reality: Don Messer wasn't a Newfoundlander. Neither was Marg Osbourne. Neither was Charlie Chamberlain. Neither was/is Rita McNeil, or the Rankins, or Ashley MacIsaac - Mainlanders, the lot of 'em.

(Now, put on some Harry Hibbs or Dick Nolan and we'll have ourselves a time, wha?)
posted by hangashore at 8:04 PM on July 23, 2006


Nice link!

Loved reading about this total badass.
posted by bwg at 9:39 PM on July 23, 2006


RobertsonScrew.com.

History of screws and screwdrivers. The other kind [NSFW]. oops, couldn't help it.

More Canadian mysteries.
posted by nickyskye at 10:21 PM on July 23, 2006


About 5 years ago I threw away every philips screw I owned, and replaced them all with Robertsons.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 11:54 PM on July 23, 2006


How are they better than hex-head/allen-head or torx?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:32 AM on July 24, 2006


illiad: It is non-functional. It is unconventional. It is ugly as sin. It is wholly unnecessary. It is tacky. And it is a direct indication that you aren't paying attention to the on-line culture of MeFi, which has never used the @-sign as a prefix to user names.

When in Rome, do as the Romans. That means no @-sign, and more snarkiness.

Also, search the MetaTalk archives and you'll discover the sheer loathing people are developing for the nitwits who use @-signs as a prefix.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:54 AM on July 24, 2006


Robertson tend to stay on the screwdriver bit, yet typically do not jam onto it. Robertson bits are a hardened bit separate from the screwdriver shaft, and never wear out. At the same time, it is difficult to strip-out a head despite the hardness of the bit. Otherwise they're all about the same and all three are infinitely preferable to Philips.

Philips are actually designed to cam-out. The screwdriver bit is supposed to pull out of the head. They are meant for automated assembly. Point and shoot, without worrying about over-torquing: the cam-out keeps you from overtightening. Works great for drywall and, presumably, car chassises; completely suck for most everything else.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:02 AM on July 24, 2006


Lashed to the Masts off Georgetown:
On November 21th, 1944, the schooner Shag left St. John's, Newfoundland, for Prince Edward Island on what turned out to be her last voyage....

"We owed our lives to the fact that the masts were made of Newfoundland spruce. With every wave that rolled over the vessel and her masts, they would bend over almost horizontal. As soon as the wave slackened the masts would snap upright again....

Captain Harris and his two remaining crew were on Prince Edward Island for eleven days and went back to Placentia Bay on the motor vessel Gerald Ann....
Lashed to the masts of the Shag and Gerald Ann? I keep waiting for the crossdressing seaman bondage porn to start but it never does. Because this is Canada. The porn is that the masts were made of Newfoundland spruce.
posted by pracowity at 7:23 AM on July 24, 2006


The way those Newfoundlanders drink it's not surprising that their wood would be a bit floppy.
posted by Flashman at 7:38 AM on July 24, 2006


Also, search the MetaTalk archives and you'll discover the sheer loathing people are developing for the nitwits who use @-signs as a prefix.

Well damn. Had I known this to begin with (and it's not like I haven't paid attention) I would've been even more egregious in my use of that lovely little sign. In a way, it's snark of it's own sort.

Ah, the strategies...
posted by illiad at 8:22 AM on July 24, 2006


Indeed. I guess it all depends on whether you want to communicate, or ruffle feathers. Or fins. Or scales, whatever.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:25 AM on July 24, 2006


@FFF & @Illiad
Metafilter: I for one welcome that symbol^ as completely acceptable.
Sincerely,
Todd Lokken
posted by blue_beetle at 11:51 AM on July 24, 2006


Touché!
posted by five fresh fish at 12:58 PM on July 24, 2006


Community standards, after all, are made to be violated. Especially in a plce where one can "expect more snarkiness."
posted by lodurr at 2:06 PM on July 24, 2006


@ odds
posted by Flashman at 3:01 PM on July 24, 2006


There's no mystery to Tim Horton's: it's the coffee.

Fucking excellent coffee.
posted by padraigin at 10:14 PM on July 24, 2006


[/humor?]
posted by lodurr at 4:20 AM on July 25, 2006


Must have been joking; I get better coffee at BK.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:54 AM on July 25, 2006


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