Finally

July 28, 2006 9:49 AM

Running late at work? Need to get dinner on the table? It is easy to warm up the George Foreman USB iGrill from any internet connection. With a little advance planning, your meal can be ready when you get home! (via b3ta newsletter)
posted by moift (45 comments total)

Nope. Nyet. Nein.
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:52 AM on July 28, 2006

Uh-oh.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:53 AM on July 28, 2006

How long can you leave ground beef at room temperature?
posted by mattbucher at 9:54 AM on July 28, 2006

April 1st is all year round at ThinkGeek.
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:54 AM on July 28, 2006

I want one for my cubicle.
posted by dead_ at 9:55 AM on July 28, 2006 [1 favorite]

Does this actually cook shit?
posted by cellphone at 9:55 AM on July 28, 2006

What if the beef has been marinated overnight in Coca-Cola?
posted by mds35 at 9:55 AM on July 28, 2006

T_T
posted by moift at 9:55 AM on July 28, 2006

Plug & Play With Your Food...
posted by Dreamghost at 9:58 AM on July 28, 2006

Here's the real iGrill.
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:58 AM on July 28, 2006

Does this actually cook shit?

Click "Add To Cart".....
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:59 AM on July 28, 2006

Sure, let's fire up a heat producing electrical appliance with nobody around so you can eat 3 minutes quicker. Brilliant!
posted by 2sheets at 10:00 AM on July 28, 2006

Only four months late, moift. Not too bad, I guess.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 10:01 AM on July 28, 2006

Knock out the fat!
posted by Smart Dalek at 10:02 AM on July 28, 2006

The "looflirpa" in the URL means it's a secret code. You've directed all of MetaFilter to the Cobra Command Subliminal Subversion Center and now we're naught but Mindless Automatons Programmed for Degeneracy and Conquest.
posted by freebird at 10:02 AM on July 28, 2006

Cool idea. Looks good too. But any George Foreman recipes left in there all day would rot, no?
posted by nickyskye at 10:03 AM on July 28, 2006

Introducing, the Lame Joke Parade!

* Can I import the burgers onto my computer?
* What if somebody hacks into my steak?
* That looks del.ic.ious
* Now I can burn CDs and steak at the same time.
* iMac-donalds!
posted by Milkman Dan at 10:04 AM on July 28, 2006

*shakes head*

*sighs*
posted by eyeballkid at 10:05 AM on July 28, 2006

Does this actually cook shit?

One would imagine that the cleanup after that is slightly more intensive.
posted by CRM114 at 10:06 AM on July 28, 2006

But any George Foreman recipes left in there all day would rot, no?
RTFA, that's why it downloads special recipes.
posted by moift at 10:08 AM on July 28, 2006

looflirpa.
posted by grabbingsand at 10:09 AM on July 28, 2006

web 2.0 - it can give you food poisoning or burn down your house while you work!

isn't progress wonderful?
posted by pyramid termite at 10:09 AM on July 28, 2006

I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's the perfect way to start the day.

If only the USB iGrill was real, Michael Scott would have never burned his foot.
posted by Remy at 10:13 AM on July 28, 2006 [2 favorites]

Oh well, it's only your first post. Read the guidelines and try again! Better luck next time!
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:14 AM on July 28, 2006

feh. Just use a crockpot.
posted by terrapin at 10:15 AM on July 28, 2006

Oh well, it's only your first post.

now, be nice ... his only newbie mistake was neglecting to use the batshitinsane tag
posted by pyramid termite at 10:17 AM on July 28, 2006

We're still years off from the fireware crockpot I think, this is just the momentous first step.
posted by moift at 10:18 AM on July 28, 2006 [1 favorite]

I hate you, Milkman Dan.

I've been waiting forever to say that.

The only ThinkGeek 4/1 product I really want and need is the Zero Point energy source. Which they seem to have removed from the listings. Oh, and a dozen wireless extension cords to go with it.

Hey, wait a sec. They must have gotten to the staff and wiped them out! Those bastards! I guess that means I should consider all ThinkGeek wares to be compromised now. That monitor mirror? Hidden wireless camera. Encrypted USB thumbdrive? Back-doored. Penguin Mints? Bawls? Infused with nanotech GPS enabled trackers and mind control machines.

Even the caffienated soap! OH MY GOD I'M DOOMED hi I love the government. Shopping at Wal-Mart makes me happy. I like being happy. You know what else makes me happy? Oil. And Marines! Voting Republican makes the grass grow! Ann Coulter is hot AND smart. That's hot. I have to go now. I need to buy another SUV so I can pick up some McDonald's for lunch and dinner.
posted by loquacious at 10:21 AM on July 28, 2006

As I cook most of my food in iron skillets, on outdoor charcoal grills, or (when in a hurry) microwaves; this isn't for me. But let me know when they invent a robot chef who can make a roux/grill a steak/smoke a brisket like I do...I'll let it take over my kitchen.
posted by weirdoactor at 10:27 AM on July 28, 2006

(on second thought...no...no I won't)
posted by weirdoactor at 10:30 AM on July 28, 2006

I've been suckered. Smacks forehead, d'oh! Gawd. RTFA. ouch. What article? I read everything in that link, no "Doofus, this is a joke" section.

What if somebody hacks into my steak?

Funny.

Loof Lirpa = April Fool's Day. unnnggg.
posted by nickyskye at 10:38 AM on July 28, 2006

Instead of buying yet another new "Internet-ready" appliance, couldn't you just leave a slab of meat on your Dell laptop? I believe that these come already equipped with an internet connection.
posted by carter at 10:44 AM on July 28, 2006

What, it's not real ...???!?!?!?
posted by carter at 10:46 AM on July 28, 2006

monju_bosatsu: More like 3 years and 4 months late.
posted by O9scar at 10:46 AM on July 28, 2006

Hey if my IPOD charges through the USB port, why the heck. . .. .
posted by Danf at 11:01 AM on July 28, 2006

Wow. That makes me really sad. I actually wanted one.

I can *so* imagine cooking chicken right at my desk. I'd never have to leave my chair!
posted by drleary at 11:04 AM on July 28, 2006

But Dr. Leary, you'd have to leave your chair at some point. There are a number of steps to the Steak Cooking Process. You must:
* Buy the meat
* Marinate it
* ????
* Profit...
* Slap that ham in the frying pan
* Get a plate, utensils, and appropriate condiments.

Additionally, Doc, with some fireproofing, you can cook chicken at your desk right now, without the hassle of installing drivers and connecting to the Food Network.
posted by Milkman Dan at 11:12 AM on July 28, 2006

It's real, and it has been out for a few years.
posted by rollbiz at 11:21 AM on July 28, 2006

*smacks head*

There should be a not in front of real.
posted by rollbiz at 11:22 AM on July 28, 2006

If your desk has window access you could probably get chicken delivered through an online grocery service. Marinate it in a big zip-lock, profit, grill it, and blend it into a delicious, convenient, and healthful shake with a desktop blender.
posted by moift at 11:23 AM on July 28, 2006

I want a Wake n' Bacon.


posted by ericb at 11:37 AM on July 28, 2006

Not necessarily, Milkman Dan -
*You can have your meat delivered - by a butcher's lad on a three wheeled bicycle, say
* Marinating is for the effete, and is unnecessary for choicer cuts- fast food salt and pepper sachets can be kept among your CDs
* Plate, utensils similarly superfluous for the properly motivated eater

Somebody should do this and make a tedious blog about the experience/art.
posted by Flashman at 11:45 AM on July 28, 2006

Though I'm not a huge fan of bacon, the wake 'n bacon rocks my world.
posted by craven_morhead at 12:38 PM on July 28, 2006

Big deal. The new MacBook Pros have this built into the case.

/snark
posted by romakimmy at 4:42 AM on July 29, 2006

"Interesting side note: As a head without a body, I envy the dead." - George Forman
posted by Orb2069 at 9:42 AM on July 30, 2006