K-O!

July 28, 2006 2:23 PM

Ever Wonder? "[H]oping to push existing boundaries, this paper will put the accumulated knowledge of two animals to the ultimate test, in an attempt to answer the age-old question of who would win in a fight between a penguin and a lemur. Courtesy of MeFi's own Milkman Dan.
posted by rossination (17 comments total)

Which is cuter. That's the age-old question. Madagascar versus March of the Penguins. It's a tossup. I'd have to go with pigs.
posted by ZachsMind at 2:51 PM on July 28, 2006

Some day, someone is going to try to actually stage a "which animal will win" fight for real, and be disappointed when the two combatants failt to even notice the other exists.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 3:06 PM on July 28, 2006

Madagascar versus March of the Penguins.
posted by ericb at 3:16 PM on July 28, 2006

GO LEMUR!

(ring-tailed lemurs are my favorite wild animal)
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:17 PM on July 28, 2006

A gibbon versus two tiger cubs.
posted by homunculus at 3:26 PM on July 28, 2006

Penguin style is immensly strong and immune to almost any weapon. Properly used, it's almost invincible.
People ask me "When will penguin lemur fights end?". Well let me tell you. Once and evil deed is done, it never ends. It goes on and on forever.
posted by Smedleyman at 3:27 PM on July 28, 2006

Whoa, wait a minute. The article describes a fight between 10 penguins and 7 lemurs--on ice, no less. If you stack the deck like that, of course the penguins will win.

I was envisioning more of a one-on-one fight, mano a flipper, on a neutral terrain, like wet sand. Under those ideal circumstances, it'll be a fairer fight--one that I think would go to the lemur. Sure, the penguin's got the beak, but it's highly vulnerable to a knock-down. If the lemur was smart enough to push the bird onto its back, the fight would be over. Go mammals!
posted by Iridic at 3:38 PM on July 28, 2006

arguable if wet sand would be a neutral territory, that favors the lemur pretty heavily I'd think.
posted by edgeways at 3:51 PM on July 28, 2006

Penguins and lemurs should give peace a chance. I say the enlightened animals should get together and stage a 6-hour nude sit-in hunger strike at the zoos worldwide to protest this senseless battle.
posted by CodeBaloo at 4:17 PM on July 28, 2006

Clearly the fairest territory would have to be favourable to neither combatant - I'm thinking a claustrophobic gladiatorial arena á la Star Trek.
posted by RokkitNite at 4:28 PM on July 28, 2006

What, you mean zero gravity?
posted by Iridic at 4:29 PM on July 28, 2006

Nonsense. What would happen if ten penguins fought seven lemurs is that in about ten minutes the writhing, wrestling mass of birds and primates would shift from fighting to lovemaking and a while later we'd have our first crop of penguilemurs and lemguins.

The question is, can a young lemguin with a knife be trained to consistently win fights with puppies riding on monorails?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:34 PM on July 28, 2006

Seems an odd coincidence that MeFi's own Milkman Dan has only been a member for 4 days.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:06 PM on July 28, 2006

Bear v. Shark!

No, I have not read it, but the title and concept alone are plenty amusing.
posted by Alterscape at 8:57 AM on July 29, 2006

What, you mean zero gravity?

That was my first thought, but then I considered a hard, solid 1 in 6 incline coated in marmite; and thereafter Zanzibar, default weapons, active camo; and then "Hang Tough" rules a la UK Gladiators.
posted by nthdegx at 2:41 PM on July 29, 2006

Lemur: There are motherfucking penguins on this motherfucking plane!
posted by jimmythefish at 2:59 PM on July 29, 2006

Stavros: I thought so too. If I had known all these people were coming, I'd have at least cleaned up the house a bit.
posted by Milkman Dan at 11:24 AM on July 31, 2006