Everything better in Iraq now

August 2, 2006 7:33 AM

After a three year period of patriotic defiance that brought the culture and economy of France to its knees, french fries are back on the menu in congressional cafeterias.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (53 comments total)

Cartman.
posted by dios at 7:38 AM on August 2, 2006

The Iranian casserole, on the other hand, is doomed.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:38 AM on August 2, 2006

Idiots.

"This action today is a small but symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure of many on Capitol Hill with the actions of our so-called ally, France," he said on March 11, 2003.

And this action today is a small but symbolic effort to show brains have re-commenced functioning after the ego-denting events of 911. Yup a feller can do a lot of growing up in 5 years.
posted by scheptech at 7:44 AM on August 2, 2006

In 2003, France wanted to spend more time inspecting Iraq's weapons and obtaining genuine evidence that Saddam was a threat, instead of invading immediately. They were proven to be right. Anyone who still holds resentment about France over this issue is an idiot, and America owes France an apology.
posted by riotgrrl69 at 7:53 AM on August 2, 2006 [2 favorites]

Gaw-damned frogs ain't gettin' no 'POLOGY!
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 7:59 AM on August 2, 2006

The ultimate stupidity I loved back in 2003 was seeing American restauranteurs dump French wine into a gutter. Wine they'd already purchased with their own money. A waste of wine to be sure (the French will make more), but the morons were only hurting their own bottom line.
posted by clevershark at 8:00 AM on August 2, 2006

*restaurateurs*

/my own little pet peeve
posted by Turtles all the way down at 8:03 AM on August 2, 2006

Just so long as I can still get Freedom Ticklers in gas station shitters.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:05 AM on August 2, 2006

The Iranian casserole, on the other hand, is doomed.

You can say the same for Syrian spaghetti, though Persian chicken's likely to remain popular.
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:10 AM on August 2, 2006

..and the congressmen are freedom kissing eachother with joy.
posted by jonmc at 8:19 AM on August 2, 2006

So sad to see our stalwart congress caving to pressure from the froganistas. What next? Acquiescence to the Geneva Conventions?
posted by squirrel at 8:23 AM on August 2, 2006

you forgot Polish Sausage!
posted by jonmc at 8:27 AM on August 2, 2006 [2 favorites]

I for one refuse to go back to the old decadent moniker for the deep fried delicious bits of potatoey freedom. No! NEVER!! The French shall forever suffer the wrath of my indifference to their claim upon the freedom loving potato (Yum...umm...yumm...burp). I shall delight in my freedom fries with Iwo Jima-sque visions of red, white and blue morbid obesity. Patriots should be proud of their triple bypass surgeries, as they endeavor to be shining living exemplars of McJesus™ and the American way and stomp out those t'rists in whatever fast food restaurant they may be hatching their evil sleeper cell machinations of evil-doingness.

*Fart*
posted by Skygazer at 8:27 AM on August 2, 2006 [1 favorite]

Walter Jones has apologized (or at least said he wished it hadn't happened) and now denounces the war.
posted by O9scar at 8:28 AM on August 2, 2006

Hey, give Bob Ney a break. It's not as if he's taken bribes or

oh wait
posted by kurumi at 8:30 AM on August 2, 2006

"Hi, France? It's the United States. I know things have been weird between us since we had that fight a few years ago. I admit it, I kind of freaked out. I erased your name from our menus, dumped your wine in the gutter, heck, I even cut your face out of my prom pictures. But I'm over it now. I still think you were wrong, but you have your facts and I have my feelings and we'll just leave it at that. So we're cool now, right? Hello?"
posted by brain_drain at 8:31 AM on August 2, 2006

I like 'em with Freedom's yellow mustard.
posted by staggernation at 8:32 AM on August 2, 2006

Thanks for the link, O9scar.

Although he voted for the war, he has since become one of its most vociferous opponents on Capitol Hill, where the hallway outside his office is lined with photographs of the "faces of the fallen".

"If we were given misinformation intentionally by people in this administration, to commit the authority to send boys, and in some instances girls, to go into Iraq, that is wrong," he told the newspaper. "Congress must be told the truth."

Gee... if only there were some method through which the congress could hold the executive accoutable for not telling the truth. Ah well, let's hope the president tells the truth next time.
posted by squirrel at 8:33 AM on August 2, 2006 [1 favorite]

This is how dumb that was: not even our right-wing trolls defended it.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:36 AM on August 2, 2006

So, how about the Liberty Cabbage? Any word on that?
posted by briank at 8:38 AM on August 2, 2006

Renaming French fries was the only successful policy initiative to come out of Bush's presidency.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:43 AM on August 2, 2006

Forget Freedom Fries — it's Belgian fries that are the real menace. I can't stop eating them.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:56 AM on August 2, 2006

"Officially the committee has no comment on the matter," [Jon Brandt, a spokesman for Mr. Ehlers] said. "I really don't see how this is a story."

Thou dost protest too much, methinks...
posted by jckll at 9:15 AM on August 2, 2006

"We don't have a comment for your story," said a spokeswoman for Mr. Ney.

After to speaking to Ronald Reagan's ghost, it seems that this was a compromise and the statue of liberty will be melted down into commemorative "never forget 9/11" coins to be sold for 19.99 on late night informercials. For those of you wondering, Ronnie is still a little upset his coin hasn't sold out yet.
posted by the ghost of Ken Lay at 9:16 AM on August 2, 2006

Ah, the French. When have they ever sided with America or done anythign to further the cause of American Freedom?

Oh, wait.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:20 AM on August 2, 2006

"Now that they've changed the name of the french fries back, maybe they will admit their other foreign policy mistakes were wrong, too."

That's the best "quip" a Democrat could come up with?

Man, I hate politicians.
posted by odasaku at 9:25 AM on August 2, 2006

Freedom fries was a bad alteration.

If they had wanted to be accurate and show the proper amount of disdain towards France, they should have changed to the name from "French Fries" to "Cheese-eating Surrender Monkey Fries."
posted by dios at 9:27 AM on August 2, 2006

You gotta hand it to dios, he tries so hard.
posted by clevershark at 9:48 AM on August 2, 2006

"what do you mean i can't have fries with that?"
posted by pyramid termite at 9:53 AM on August 2, 2006

"I really don't see how this is a story."

Of course, back in 2003 they were media whoring this so hard that it would scratch diamonds.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:56 AM on August 2, 2006

Freedom fries was a bad alteration.

But not as bad as freedom kissing.
posted by three blind mice at 10:58 AM on August 2, 2006

Freedom [Anything] will no longer be available in the halls of congress. Now you'll have to settle for the French.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:07 AM on August 2, 2006

How about "The french were right fries"?
posted by 2sheets at 11:17 AM on August 2, 2006

The [anything] in the above post is wholly unnecessary.
posted by davelog at 11:23 AM on August 2, 2006

Good news. Now I won't feel so bad drowning my Freedom Fries into this quagmire of ketchup.
posted by NationalKato at 11:27 AM on August 2, 2006

I got in deep-end deep shit with some people over a quickly-drawn cartoon when this whole "freedom fries" thing erupted. I drew a picture of the French Flag and labelled it "the Freedom Flag."

The squalling was of a pitch that would rupture the eardrums of some dude wearing a pressure suit on Pluto.
posted by illiad at 11:29 AM on August 2, 2006

Ronnie is still a little upset his coin hasn't sold out yet.

Well, geez, they did decide to name an aircraft carrier after him...as we used to say, whaddya want, egg in yer beer?
posted by pax digita at 11:35 AM on August 2, 2006

"...that brought the culture and economy of France to its knees..."

I can't find much evidence of this alleged kneeness.
posted by bz at 11:55 AM on August 2, 2006

Wow, illiad. I'm not at all surprised and the association was the first thing that came to me as well, but wow nonetheless.

At a restaurant in Missouri the "Freedom Dip" came with french fries. I was baffled, yet no long offended when I saw that.

I think Bill O'Reilly is still boycotting the country if anyone cares.
posted by polyhedron at 11:57 AM on August 2, 2006

For which they are eternally greatful
posted by djfiander at 12:16 PM on August 2, 2006

what about French roast coffee? is that OK now, too?
posted by matteo at 12:20 PM on August 2, 2006

*shrugs* So the Age of Reason didn't end in France.
posted by Cranberry at 12:34 PM on August 2, 2006

I was pondering how we've seldom had a successful war without the French.

American Revolution: French help. We won.
War of 1812: Napoleon kept British busy in Europe. We won.
World War I: French help. We won.
World War II: French help. We won.
Korean War: French help. We won.
Vietnam War: No French. Lost.
First Gulf War: French help. We won.
Iraq: No French. Lost cause.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 3:55 PM on August 2, 2006

We won the Korean conflict?!
posted by squirrel at 4:34 PM on August 2, 2006

I dunno. But for the French, we would not have had 1812, WWI (and by extension WWII), or Vietnam. But hey, without them we wouldn't have America, so we'll call that a wash.

However, you'll need to pry my Victory Cabbage from my cold, dead hands!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:15 PM on August 2, 2006

Er. Liberty Cabbage, I mean. I blame this French wine!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:15 PM on August 2, 2006

Of course, the great irony is that the French themselves don't even think of chips as "french fries".

To them, they are known as "pommes frites", which translates to "fried poms", or "fried English".

So, really, the French just sat back, shrugged, puffed on a Gitane & watched while you guys inadvertently shot your own allies in the foot, so to speak.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:40 PM on August 2, 2006

World War I: French help. We won.
World War II: French help. We won.

You mean you "won to help the French", who were already learning how to ask "Und wollen Sie Fritten mit das?" when finally the German were stupid enough to drag the US into the conflict (twice).

Of course, if it were for World War II help, to be fair, you should be calling them "Commie Fries"...

And given that the prime interests being defended by the US (aside from themselves under the domino theory) in Nam were those of the French catholic upper-class, I guess "No French help" is a bit far-fetched... Sure, on the other hand, the "European French" were quite happy that "those damn ungrateful Indochinans" were getting what they deserved...
posted by qvantamon at 6:52 PM on August 2, 2006

War of 1812: Napoleon kept British busy in Europe. We won.

Is that what they teach in US History? Do they skip over the part about how the US failed in its objectives and had its White House burnt down?

Interesting. :-)
posted by illiad at 7:45 PM on August 2, 2006

UbuRoivas: To them, they are known as "pommes frites", which translates to "fried poms", or "fried English".

Uh - "pomme" in French is short for "potato" (pomme de terre). So "pommes frites" is "fried potatoes". Nothing much to do with the English, I'm afraid.
posted by tzikeh at 7:57 PM on August 2, 2006

Same etymology. Note how the stereotypical pommy bowler-hat-and-pinstripe civil servant looks like Mr. Potatohead?

And "frites" is clearly a transliteration of "Fritz" - ie the Germans.

So, when the French munch on their Pom Fritz, they are clearly symbolically devouring their most powerful neighbours.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:44 PM on August 2, 2006

Vietnam War: No French. Lost.

Worst. Example. Ever.
posted by vbfg at 6:04 AM on August 3, 2006

French Fries: 1
Bob Ney: 0
posted by Otis at 6:09 AM on August 7, 2006