Britney Spears is crazy!
August 4, 2006 4:15 PM   Subscribe


 
My guess is ecstasy...
posted by Fidel Cashflow at 4:15 PM on August 4, 2006


Acid.
posted by absalom at 4:17 PM on August 4, 2006


Though how she can scarf food down like that on either of the above drugs is a god damn mystery.
posted by absalom at 4:19 PM on August 4, 2006


Oh, I don't know. Would it surprise anyone to find out she's just like that all the time?
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 4:23 PM on August 4, 2006


Golly, and to think that some folks object to gays being parents. Oy.
posted by bim at 4:24 PM on August 4, 2006


A Woman Under the Affluence
posted by hal9k at 4:24 PM on August 4, 2006


Huh? *slaps desk*
posted by alteredcarbon at 4:25 PM on August 4, 2006


What is going on with her arm twitching. I wonder how this was leaked. She could just be stoned or drunk. I doubt she was on acid or anything. Probably just drunk.

2or3whiskeysodas: no it wouldn't surprise me.
posted by nickerbocker at 4:25 PM on August 4, 2006


I try to be more intelligent than this on metafilter, but: lol
posted by blacklite at 4:27 PM on August 4, 2006


Okay, no, I have something: I like the new democratized media of the internet. We get to find out how everyone is really like without all the airbrushing, editing, and production. Now we know what it's like to sit around stoned with Britney Spears, and we (okay, I) can definitively say that we would go do something else.

Mystery solved!

I do think she must be on something, though.
posted by blacklite at 4:30 PM on August 4, 2006


Somebody please tell me that she didn't just ask if time travel is possible.....
posted by AbnerDoon at 4:31 PM on August 4, 2006


Stop looking through the peep-hole!
posted by StopMakingSense at 4:31 PM on August 4, 2006


And what genre of music is this young woman famous for? I would guess "southern rock." Might she be akin to the Allman Brothers? :P
posted by marxchivist at 4:31 PM on August 4, 2006


Somebody please tell me that she didn't just ask if time travel is possible.....

She did, and that's the best part...
posted by Fidel Cashflow at 4:34 PM on August 4, 2006


drunk or stoned. even though she mentioned her jaw hurt, doesn't seem like psychoactives to me.
posted by gnutron at 4:35 PM on August 4, 2006


Agree with 2or3whiskeysodas, just how she is.
posted by stbalbach at 4:37 PM on August 4, 2006


That was some boring-ass stoned celebrity right there. I've been more entertained by stoned nobodies.
posted by cortex at 4:37 PM on August 4, 2006


And more impressed by the antics of sober celebrities, for that matter.
posted by cortex at 4:38 PM on August 4, 2006


Bleh. She's just a petulant idiot. There's no reason to suspect drug use, she gets more coherent half way through.
posted by delmoi at 4:41 PM on August 4, 2006


On the plus side, she didn't mention the word "Jew" even once.
posted by leftcoastbob at 4:44 PM on August 4, 2006


Dammit. I wanted to make the Mel Gibson joke in this thread!
posted by mr_roboto at 4:46 PM on August 4, 2006


noise?
offensive content?
breaks the guidelines?
how can i choose?
posted by es_de_bah at 4:46 PM on August 4, 2006


You know, I haven't done meth in a *long* (two years, which I'm very proud of), but the only time I wanted to see Spun was when I was tweaked out.

Odd to see someone eat when they're tweaking though. The only thing I could even think about eating was macaroni and cheese.
posted by drleary at 4:46 PM on August 4, 2006


long time, that is.
posted by drleary at 4:46 PM on August 4, 2006


Yeah, even though she's a little twitchy, there's no way that the rest of her behavior is in keeping with acid, meth, coke, ecstasy, or any other random "upper" I can think of. She just seems either mildly high, maybe mildly drunk, or sober and tired to me.
posted by Brak at 4:47 PM on August 4, 2006


I don't think that's really a plus, leftcoastbob. This would have been way more entertaining if she was talking about Jews.

(sudden serious look) ... do you think they can travel through time?

I bet they can.
posted by blacklite at 4:47 PM on August 4, 2006


$30
posted by delmoi at 4:47 PM on August 4, 2006


And more impressed by the antics of sober celebrities, for that matter.

I see great potential here. Rather having their sex tapes leaked, celebs could 'accidently' have video of them sitting around getting high and talking nonsense.

Spears seems dumb as a box of rocks so she doesn't count, but wouldn't it be great to watch Jon Stewart or Bruce Campbell or someone ramble on for ten minutes while under the influence of some really premium bud?

i'd watch that.
posted by quin at 4:48 PM on August 4, 2006 [1 favorite]


You know, I haven't done meth in a *long* (two years, which I'm very proud of), but the only time I wanted to see Spun was when I was tweaked out.
posted by drleary


Guess she's not quite as fucked up as I thought. I thought she said she wanted to go see Spawn.
posted by leftcoastbob at 4:53 PM on August 4, 2006


That is very important, very much so. Actually it is very very important. It is not like Spice Girls, it is NOT that. It has no resemblance to Paris videos whatsoever.
posted by elpapacito at 4:54 PM on August 4, 2006


MetaFilter: Like, things and... things goin' on.
posted by brundlefly at 4:57 PM on August 4, 2006


At least K-fed understands the importance of the Prime Directive. We must not allow Britney Spears to change history! And what leftcoastbob said.
posted by revgeorge at 5:01 PM on August 4, 2006


You mean just talking about movies and time travel is now considered crazy or stoned?
posted by ?! at 5:02 PM on August 4, 2006


My god, I would never have guessed that Federline was the *smart one*.

"I feel like I'm missin' out".
posted by Slothrup at 5:03 PM on August 4, 2006


Wouldn't it be great to watch Jon Stewart or Bruce Campbell or someone ramble on for ten minutes while under the influence of some really premium bud?

Now I'm really sad that such a You Tube clip doesn't exist.
posted by tastybrains at 5:07 PM on August 4, 2006


Yeah, I would say just drunk.
posted by Arch_Stanton at 5:10 PM on August 4, 2006


I'd say she's on mushrooms.
posted by Flashman at 5:10 PM on August 4, 2006



candycoateddrug (1 hour ago)
She looks like she is fun to chill & hang out with. <3 /em>

posted by birdherder at 5:12 PM on August 4, 2006


Posted in the message board by the person who uploaded the video:

"It was in the dvd extra's to Chaotic. She never stated the movie she wanted to see. All I did was cut out the long silences and something about her mom passing itchy feet onto her."

I don't think she's stoned or drunk, she's just dumb.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 5:13 PM on August 4, 2006


leftcoastbob,

I worked on Spawn, and I'm damned proud of that digital fart my team created - the first in motion picture history. So there.
posted by dbiedny at 5:14 PM on August 4, 2006 [1 favorite]


And she's as sharp as a sack of wet mice.
posted by dbiedny at 5:15 PM on August 4, 2006


Where's the batshitinsane tag? Also, this makes me feel strangely popozao.
posted by drezdn at 5:17 PM on August 4, 2006 [1 favorite]


Whisky sodas? I'd say Southern Comfort and Kool Aid.
posted by Sailor Martin at 5:19 PM on August 4, 2006


If I closed my eyes, and played that at a bit of a slower speed, it sounded like Bush...

just saying...
posted by HuronBob at 5:20 PM on August 4, 2006


I'm circulating an internet petition to have Bruce Campbell get high and take home videos.
posted by cortex at 5:27 PM on August 4, 2006


It's hard to tell what the greatest moment in this video is, but I think it's the little Tauntaun-like moan she makes, directly after she says that her jaw hurts.

"UNNNNNNNNNNNH"
posted by Greg Nog at 5:29 PM on August 4, 2006


dbiedny: My humble apologies. I didn't mean to tread on any non-Britney toes. And I'm sure that your fart is much better than her belch any day.

(God, I never thought the occasion would arise for me to type that last line!)
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:29 PM on August 4, 2006


Her jaw hurts because acid is frequently tinged with arsenic. She's experiencing "word salad" and her cognition is prone to fantasy.

She's also experiencing slight auditory hallucination not able to interpret the words she's hearing.

Her confusion is not characteristic of someone under the influence of alcohol. Also, she enunciates clearly and her motor coordination is good. The telling point comes when the camera zooms on her face.

Her eyes are not bleary (though wide open), she does not have the red eyes or puffy face characteristic of someone who is stoned. Her face is also not relaxed as would be someone who is drunk.

She is on LSD.
posted by mistersquid at 5:40 PM on August 4, 2006 [2 favorites]


I empathize with K-fed. He seems to have very reasonable reactions to this crazy woman.
posted by smackfu at 5:41 PM on August 4, 2006


Oh, and just to shore things up: my guess is that the owner of the video may be threatening to blackmail though that would be dumb if it were the person who is holding the camera.
posted by mistersquid at 5:42 PM on August 4, 2006


That girl is high on meth. I suspect she's done enough bathtub crank to power a small city.

I've known number of of meth users, and she acts just like them. The random "My jaw hurts!" (jaw clenching/soreness is a classic symptom), the desire to see Spun, and the twitchy, jerky movements are really telling. This is before you count the actual content of the conversation. Good god.
posted by mullingitover at 5:47 PM on August 4, 2006


You could dial a rotary phone with her nipples.

That's a good thing. It makes her almost tolerable.

Almost.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:50 PM on August 4, 2006


I vote for ecstasy

and, new tagline: MetaFilter -- Stop looking through the peep-hole
posted by matteo at 5:53 PM on August 4, 2006


You could dial a rotary phone with her nipples.

Polite to ask first, though.
posted by cortex at 5:53 PM on August 4, 2006 [2 favorites]


Please, guys, she isn't stiupid because of drugs! It's just that she's stupid, stoned or sober.

"I feel like I'm missing out on life."

Poor little thing.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:57 PM on August 4, 2006


The jaw thing couldn't be related to the fact that she's probably been chewing gum non-stop for the last 19 years, maybe?
posted by FYKshun at 5:58 PM on August 4, 2006


I still say acid, but mullingitover has a good point. Come on, people, try to give her the benefit of the doubt.
posted by absalom at 5:58 PM on August 4, 2006


not ecstacy. E makes you cuddly, not retarded.
not acohol alone, she's too buggy eyed for that.
not WEED alone.. she would be thining more(assuming she thinks at all)

maybe she's hocked up on a coupla eight balls, or she's snorting the dragon or something. my bet is she's drunk AND stoned... AND retarded.


dude. doesnt she have a kid now? shouldnt se be trying set a good example? and why did her husband put this online?!


i hate celebrities.
posted by Doorstop at 5:58 PM on August 4, 2006


Somebody please tell me that she didn't just ask if time travel is possible.....

She didn't. She asked if "time track travel speed" was possible. Seriously, watch it again.
posted by bjork24 at 5:59 PM on August 4, 2006


Her jaw hurts because acid is frequently tinged with arsenic.

Actually, mistersquid, it's strychnine and it's a myth.
posted by jrossi4r at 6:05 PM on August 4, 2006


She indeed say "time track travel speed". Puts me in the meth camp.
posted by karmaville at 6:05 PM on August 4, 2006


She looks like one of those people who thinks it's funny to act dumber than they are. Probably had a couple of wine coolers.

I just commented on a Brintey Spears post.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 6:06 PM on August 4, 2006


It's sad how stupid, vapid humans can become objects of popular veneration. Nice knockers, though...
posted by Tube at 6:15 PM on August 4, 2006


What rubbish. People think she's on something only because the poster of the video suggested it in the title.

She's perfectly sober. And my guess is she's a typical American: poorly educated.

...and she has nice cans.

People seem to love to project as much bullshit as they can on people who are young, rich and famous. I wonder why?

I would love to see this in a medical journal, by the way:

"Symptoms of meth abuse: a desire to see 'Spun'."
posted by wfc123 at 6:15 PM on August 4, 2006


acid is frequently tinged with arsenic


Know what else frequently has arsenic in it?

WATER!!!!
posted by meehawl at 6:21 PM on August 4, 2006


"And my guess is she's a typical American: poorly educated."

?

Not in the part of America I'm from. But, hey, maybe where you live, eh?
posted by HuronBob at 6:34 PM on August 4, 2006


jrossi4r, thanks for clarifying on both counts. I guess I am relying on the anecdotal evidence of LSD users that using LSD not from medical laboratories causes aches and pains.

To meehawl: the mere presence of a substance does not guarantee toxicity.
posted by mistersquid at 6:34 PM on August 4, 2006


Oh my god, surprise! In the age of Youtube, people record themselves doing things and then upload them! Gasp! Britney is normal!

On the other hand, it's fun to see someone who is a popstar/idol/wannabegod at a human level.
posted by taursir at 6:34 PM on August 4, 2006


Does she take off her shirt?
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:36 PM on August 4, 2006


I find it odd that nobody has said a word about her looking, sounding, and acting like the worst possible redneck stereotype ever.
posted by nightchrome at 6:43 PM on August 4, 2006


I like your idea, mullingitover's. Your seem more familiar with her symptoms than any of the other explanations I've seen.

Though, isn't crystal meth incredibly addictive? Could she be so high on crank only as an infrequent user? I say infrequent because I'm guessing she couldn't have maintained her life as a performer if she had been hooked on meth since the video was shot.
posted by mistersquid at 6:43 PM on August 4, 2006


Since I'm drunk on rubbish red wine I just sent Britney an email saying her latest film is absolutely the best film I've seen since the special editions of Star Wars came out in 2015 or whatever year it was. God bless you, Britney! Next year in Tehran!

/me regrets it all
/me logs out of *metafilter
posted by waxbanks at 6:47 PM on August 4, 2006


Nothing is as addictive as people tell you crystal meth, heroin, and crack is. Nothing. It's completely possible to do either of those once or a few times (or many times, but appropriately spaced) and not get addicted, or even anything feeling like addiction. That some drugs are that addictive is a myth.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 6:52 PM on August 4, 2006


"I find it odd that nobody has said a word about her looking, sounding, and acting like the worst possible redneck stereotype ever."

My wife and I did laugh when she said something to the effect of people being ahead of her in time, considering how backwards-ass-southern-rednecky she talks, but that's 'cause we're from Utah where you set your clock back 50 years when you arrive, so it was a sort of empathy.

Plus those nipples. Lorda'mighty.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:01 PM on August 4, 2006


Metafilter: Things and THINGS going on
posted by maudlin at 7:02 PM on August 4, 2006


Shit. Missed the earlier callout. It was that damn wine at dinner.
posted by maudlin at 7:03 PM on August 4, 2006


"I find it odd that nobody has said a word about her looking, sounding, and acting like the worst possible redneck stereotype ever."

wait... I said she sounded like Bush, didn't I?
posted by HuronBob at 7:04 PM on August 4, 2006


Hrm, I seem to be the only person who didn't see any nipples in that video. In fact, it looked like she had her bra stuffed. Maybe I'd better watch it again...
posted by nightchrome at 7:07 PM on August 4, 2006


Plus those nipples. Lorda'mighty.

LEAVE US ALONE YOU PERV

GAWD
posted by Britney's Nipples at 7:10 PM on August 4, 2006


Big but pointed southward, BN. Meh.

I thought it was interesting how strong her southern accent was-- she never sounds like that in official interviews.

And it's kind of sick to think her husband might have leaked this video.
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 7:18 PM on August 4, 2006


I watched it earlier on a laptop, and now I'm watching it again at home.

Life! Like... things! And things going on!

But, um, I'm not really seeing any uh, headlights. I think you guys are looking too hard.
posted by blacklite at 7:20 PM on August 4, 2006


LEAVE US ALONE YOU PERV

GAWD
posted by Britney's Nipples at 8:10 PM MST on August 4 [+] [!]


And just like that, five Sudanese children had to go without dinner.

Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson, on the other hand, is a username worth at least ten Sudanese kids' daily rations.
posted by gompa at 7:21 PM on August 4, 2006


Didn't this come from that ridiculous reality show that she had for a while? "Chaotic" was the name.
posted by drstein at 7:27 PM on August 4, 2006


... um, thanks?
Also, gompa, I'm not sure you understand how this whole dinner thing works.
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 7:28 PM on August 4, 2006


Did I just get hoisted by my own petard? In a Britney Spears YouTube thread?

*returns to devouring a Sudanese child's daily rations in one sitting*
posted by gompa at 7:31 PM on August 4, 2006


Didn't this come from that ridiculous reality show that she had for a while? "Chaotic" was the name.

I doubt it, because Kevin Federline says "Fucking" at some point.
posted by Fidel Cashflow at 7:32 PM on August 4, 2006


On the plus side, she didn't mention the word "Jew" even once.

She used code talk. Everyone knows that "time travel speed" is code for the ZOG. And the "dvd" is in the "bus."

Plus those nipples. Lorda'mighty.

Could be worse. Could be Naomi Watts' thumb-sized nipples.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:35 PM on August 4, 2006


This needs to be put in "context", and by that I mean her TV series (a portion linked from the same page.) This woman is a chattering, obnoxious, teeth-grindin' mess. Maybe it's controlled substances, but the drugs don't have a lot to work with here. I'm guessing this is pretty close to her natural state.
posted by maryh at 7:37 PM on August 4, 2006


She seemed neither stoned nor drunk to me. Just your average cracker, conversating, if I could borrow a phrase from Dear Leader.

She reminds me a lot of one of our neighbors...stripper who married very well. She's just as nice as the day is long, and would do anything in the world for you if she likes you, but she's just dumber than biscuit dough, bless her heart.

Wasn't Brittany a mouseketeer or something? I mean, didn't she, for all intents and purposes, grow up on sets, and never have that school experience? (I'm sure the law mandates tutors or some such, but really, they're probably no better standardized than home schoolers are.)

My point is, that she may not be actually stupid, but she may be very ignorant. And all of that aside, I have had conversations that I wouldn't want to have to justify to the world, and I think it's kinda sad that nobody will let this girl just be.

I guess I just don't get the whole starfucker mentality that makes people care, one way or the other, what famous people do in their spare time. Would I love a chance to talk to Jon Stewart? Surely. Do I want footage of him talking to his wife about ...well...anything? No, not so much.
posted by dejah420 at 7:41 PM on August 4, 2006 [2 favorites]


"You know, I haven't done meth in a *long* (two years, which I'm very proud of), but the only time I wanted to see Spun was when I was tweaked out."

Odd you should mention that because she reminds me a whole lot of the way Whitney Houston acts these days.
posted by UseyurBrain at 7:51 PM on August 4, 2006


Why would Britany be high on meth? she can afford coke. My theory is that this is at the end of a big night of exctasy, she's baiscally sober but still a little out of it and her innate stupidness is able to shine through.
posted by afu at 7:51 PM on August 4, 2006 [1 favorite]


It's hard to tell because of the ballcap and shitty lighting, but she looks kind of crosseyed at times. Therefore, I vote for E as well.
posted by the_bone at 7:55 PM on August 4, 2006


Maybe I don't speak "Southern," but listening to it again, I swear she says that she wants to see Spawn.
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:16 PM on August 4, 2006


A Woman Under the Affluence
is dead-on: "I feel like I'm missing out on life." Maybe rich celebrities aren't as happy as we think they should be?
posted by owhydididoit at 8:17 PM on August 4, 2006


So she burps and chews loudly.

That was boring. I'll never get that 30 seconds of my time back.

Make it 15.
posted by NewBornHippy at 8:18 PM on August 4, 2006


she's not drunk or high ... she's not stupid ... she's just tired and testy and feeling like life has rode her hard and put her away wet

by the way, redneck girls are fun ... if you don't piss them off
posted by pyramid termite at 8:26 PM on August 4, 2006


This is a stupid redneck on meth. Pretty obvious when you've seen it in real life. Although the eating does seem a little out of the ordinary from what I understand.

And for those who can't see the nipples, you are either in desperate need of a new monitor or in desperate need of a visit to the optometrist.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:29 PM on August 4, 2006


I don't think she was doing anything but "acting" (badly). I don't believe it's an accident that this has 'leaked' to the web-net-blog-o-sphere-two-punkt-oh.

Britney Blue.
posted by trip and a half at 8:35 PM on August 4, 2006


Why would she release some "fake" video to the internet that makes her look like a complete moron? I think someone's attempting to blackmail her, because she's very high on something...
posted by Fidel Cashflow at 8:40 PM on August 4, 2006


She has to be on something. People don't normally focus on invisible objects.

She's just as nice as the day is long, and would do anything in the world for you if she likes you, but she's just dumber than biscuit dough, bless her heart.

Best string of idiomatic similes ever.
posted by blacklite at 8:52 PM on August 4, 2006


I can't stop watching this. She's some dumbass tweaker and she can eat. I want to party with her now.
posted by pieoverdone at 9:12 PM on August 4, 2006


Why would she release some "fake" video to the internet that makes her look like a complete moron? I think someone's attempting to blackmail her, because she's very high on something...
posted by Fidel Cashflow


Blackmailing her how? That doesn't make any sense.
posted by leftcoastbob at 9:12 PM on August 4, 2006


I know everyone is going to say "Huh?" when I say this. My vote is on abuse of antidepressants.
Side note: Also makes me glad I'm not a celebrity and have to worry about videos being leaked even when I'm alone and just talking goofy with a friend I hang out with who is playing with a camcorder.
posted by BillsR100 at 9:13 PM on August 4, 2006


She said "time track?" Be very clear on if that is exactly what she said. Because if she said "time track," it must be noted, then, that "time track" is the term used by Scientologists for the "recording" that the mind makes of all sensations from the past. It's the "time track" which is "audited" in Dianetics.
posted by brownpau at 9:14 PM on August 4, 2006


Why, indeed, SeƱor Cashflow?
posted by trip and a half at 9:16 PM on August 4, 2006


I'm calling "poorly conceived publicity stunt."
posted by frogan at 9:19 PM on August 4, 2006


Know who else had arsenic in them?

HITLER!!!!!!

"I feel like I'm missing out on life."

See that's the thing, she totally is. Maybe her trip on whatever hallucinogens was one of the few chances she had to enlighten herself about - well, anything. I mean she's beyond material, she's hyperreal. And that must truly suck. Consumed with surface beauty, immediate pleasure, money, fame, drugs, greed, hedonism of all kinds, bound for nothing or to anything more lost than even the moral neutrals who at least know the boundries they inhabit, empty, meaningless lost and desolate and still nowhere near the point of dispair. Her face has that discontent petulance and lethargy of the soul sick rich. Hell, the burp and the countryfied twang in her voice are the best things going for her, the most human. Meanwhile Kevin Federline is her life line? I mean we're talking about and objectifying her nipples and being crass and all but we're just some goofballs on the internet - that's HER LIFE man! And just for a second there something within her knew better. She is missing out. It's a waste of life.
*goes off to watch tv*
posted by Smedleyman at 9:23 PM on August 4, 2006 [3 favorites]


I just can't believe that K-Fed comes off as the smart one.

Yow.
posted by Medieval Maven at 9:31 PM on August 4, 2006


Well, if she's high on anything (which is a hard thing to tell from this clip), my best guess is that she's on the come-down meth. She sounds too tired to be actually high on the stuff. Plus, if she's been grinding her jaw for the last 24 hours, it's not so strange that it hurts.

That southern drawl of hers actually makes her seem like a real person, as opposed to Little Miss Perfect. I actually like her better after seeing this clip.
posted by Zero Gravitas at 9:38 PM on August 4, 2006


Smedleyman: Excellent post, you made me think, I like that and I agree with you. Well said.
posted by BillsR100 at 9:44 PM on August 4, 2006


I mean she's beyond material, she's hyperreal. And that must truly suck. Consumed with surface beauty, immediate pleasure, money, fame, drugs, greed, hedonism of all kinds, bound for nothing or to anything more lost than even the moral neutrals who at least know the boundries they inhabit, empty, meaningless lost and desolate and still nowhere near the point of dispair.

And that's why I'm calling publicity stunt. Because as Smedleyman says, there's a whole lotta drama going on here. But this shit doesn't just happen. They don't just point the camera at Paris, Anna Nicole and the Osbournes and say, Go! It's very carefully crafted.
posted by frogan at 9:50 PM on August 4, 2006


one thing is certain... she's not hooked on phonics.
posted by pruner at 10:47 PM on August 4, 2006


I'm voting mushrooms or acid.

I'm also voting that you close your fucking mouth when you chew!

Ahem. Sorry.

As you were.
posted by lekvar at 11:17 PM on August 4, 2006


I tried watching it with the sound off, but I didn't get wood.
posted by Tube at 11:19 PM on August 4, 2006


Her jaw hurts because acid is frequently tinged with arsenic

Yeah, that's complete BS.
posted by borkingchikapa at 11:31 PM on August 4, 2006


pruner wins!
posted by I, Credulous at 11:36 PM on August 4, 2006


I think she's lovely. She just seems a bit pissed to me. And she's funny. I think she'd be a right laugh to hang out with.
posted by MrMustard at 12:11 AM on August 5, 2006


maryh, I want compensation in addition to that 5:27 timesink back. Interesting at the end though - she's saying: "ecstasy, ecstasy, ecstasy!!" over and over in a bit of a manic way.

I'm reminded of that AskMefi thread where everyone is tossing in the 10c diagnosis. At least there was behaviour definitely outside the realm of normal in that case. I couldn't possibly say if Spears is on anything. That same sort of lame-o exchange goes on in many households and there are zillions of ways to explain it. Drugs is but one and no more likely than others.
posted by peacay at 12:16 AM on August 5, 2006


I'm pretty sure she's saying Spawn, not Spun.
posted by Amanda B at 12:17 AM on August 5, 2006


For a bit of fun, try leaving the player on "play" and doing a bit of mixing with the slider.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:28 AM on August 5, 2006


That she has more money than me is evidence of the essential injustice of the universe.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:44 AM on August 5, 2006


I like how Brittany is just a normal kinda white trash girl who likes to get stoned and watch movies with her boyfriend. So she isn't the brightest bulb, at least she isn't all fake and rah rah anymore.
posted by sophist at 4:06 AM on August 5, 2006


ALEX TREBEK: "It's making her jaw feel sore, even though that may not necessairily be the case...her eyes are wide, yet lucid. Her movements are hyperkinetic, and she speaks in non-sequitors. Her appetite is certainly up - some would say it's making her eat like a horse."

KEN JENNINGS: Aw, c'mon, you guys aren't even trying anymore-

(laughter from the audience)

ALEX TREBEK: (chuckling) I think this one would've been best saved until after the show, but you've gotten all the others down flat, so we've got nothing to lose. "It makes her jaw feel...sore"-

KEN JENNINGS: "What is mescaline?"
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:37 AM on August 5, 2006


This is (apparently) from the outtakes section of the Chaotic DVD.

So not only was she okay with this being filmed, they were both okay with distributing it for profit.

Good times.
posted by softlord at 6:11 AM on August 5, 2006


"I feel like I'm missing out." BURP. "On life."

I don't know whether it's meth, acid, or just plain vacuousness, but it's classic.

wait... I said she sounded like Bush, didn't I?

Yeah, except she doesn't. Not at all. So you get the Bigot of the Day award. "All Southerners are dumb crackers and they all sound alike, huh huh!" Mind you, she is dumb as biscuit dough, but that's because she's dumb, not because she's One of Them.
posted by languagehat at 6:46 AM on August 5, 2006


Bush is not a southerner.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:59 AM on August 5, 2006


Hell, the burp and the countryfied twang in her voice are the best things going for her

I was kind of surprised just how much of a twang she had. I'm not normally one to feel sorry for the rich and famous, but the thoughts that I hear in my head (the same ones that are typing this) sound exactly like what you'd hear if you met me in person and we were talking. I'd imagine that to have to always play a part, and to have a total disconnect between what you hear from your mouth and what you hear in your head might wear on you after a while.

And the guy behind the camera? Federline or whoever?

Creepy as hell.

I've seen porn videos that were more respectful. Maybe because in those, at least, the girls know what they're doing. She doesn't. And he knows it.
posted by Cyrano at 8:08 AM on August 5, 2006


Bush is not a southerner.

Of course not, but for the purposes of bigotry, anybody who sounds vaguely southern/Texan (two different things) is fair game for mockery.
posted by languagehat at 9:43 AM on August 5, 2006


Of course she doesn't "sound like bush" because of her accent, it's the idiot quality that reminds me of the dear leader.....

But thanks for the "bigot" award....
posted by HuronBob at 10:02 AM on August 5, 2006


"the countryfied twang in her voice..."

"I was kind of surprised just how much of a twang she had"


She's from Louisiana. She has a drawl. A deep southern drawl. People from the midwest have a twang.

And she dumb.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:10 AM on August 5, 2006


I don't think that's really a plus, leftcoastbob. This would have been way more entertaining if she was talking about Jews.

(sudden serious look) ... do you think they can travel through time?


Jews?

That would that different calendar they use. hmmm.

As for Britney, she's smashed on something. But then again many MeFite's have seen me just as loaded.
posted by jonmc at 10:32 AM on August 5, 2006


I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that she's probably been very trained to drop the accent in public, while singing, etc b/c she is not a country artist, but like the rest of us from the South who are largely without accent, tiredness, drunkenness, and being stoned/high will make the accent reappear, in force.

Which just makes me more certain she's fucked up on something, but I have no idea what.
posted by Medieval Maven at 10:53 AM on August 5, 2006


Most druggies I ever hung around with had the great conceit that they could "tell" when someone else was "on drugs", and what drug that was. How come no one here can agree on what drug she she's on?

BTW, I vote sleep dep from meth come down.
posted by Tube at 11:42 AM on August 5, 2006


Wow 3 minutes of useless video * how many viewers? What a collective waste of human lifespan.
posted by Good Brain at 12:16 PM on August 5, 2006


It's beer and xanax or klonipin or something. You can tell it's beer from the burping. And living in Alabama, and knowing this kind of over-privileged redneck chick, I know what drugs they do these days. Every chick like that is on some sort of anti-depressant. Then they supplement that with oxycontin, lorcet or xanax, valium. If it was a painkiller then her jaw wouldn't hurt.

She probably just took a xanabar and about 3 beers. Anymore beer than that with the xanax and she wouldn't be vertical.

Could have been pot and beer, too.
posted by nyxxxx at 12:51 PM on August 5, 2006


My vote is on coming down on LSD. Been there, done that (years ago) and that's how I acted, sans the jaw thing.
posted by konolia at 12:56 PM on August 5, 2006


Let us never speak of this again.
posted by tkchrist at 1:45 PM on August 5, 2006

















God damn it.

I said, LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN!
posted by tkchrist at 1:46 PM on August 5, 2006


Eating alone eliminated LSD.
She's tired, had a few drinks (or one properly prepared) and a doob.
posted by squidfartz at 9:19 PM on August 5, 2006


Am I the only one who liked her better after this movie? What, exactly, is so bad about being a hick, apart from the fact that it appears to make people from the northeast a bit uncomfortable.

I mean, don't get me wrong -- it's a problem when it's Bush, because he's our president. But someone who's job it is to entertain should certainly be allowed more leeway.

Plus, I felt for feeling as if she'd missed out. There's no way that she's led a normal life. Everyone, it seems to me, simultaneously longs to be special, but also normal. Maybe this is her growing up.
posted by Deathalicious at 5:11 PM on August 6, 2006


Is this supposed to be scandalous? She's like any other redneck-y 20-something girl, maybe drunk and/or stoned. Seems pretty normal to me, sweet even. Boy, that Loo-zee-anna accent really comes out, don't it?
posted by zardoz at 6:29 PM on August 6, 2006


Why is everyone presuming that the intoxicant (if there was one, I'm not convinced) has something to do with the jaw? I'm sure we can all think of a reason why a woman would complain to her boyfriend/husband that her jaw hurts that has nothing to do with drugs.
posted by Dreama at 7:15 PM on August 6, 2006


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