As if you didn't already know
August 5, 2006 12:36 AM   Subscribe



 
lol corkscrew dongs
posted by 29 at 12:37 AM on August 5, 2006


Well, while we're poking around Straight Dope, here's a little something for you and your corkscrew penises (or is it penii?)
posted by antifreez_ at 12:40 AM on August 5, 2006


lol corkscrew cervix docking
posted by neckro23 at 12:47 AM on August 5, 2006


I regret to report that hours of diligent research have failed to turn up an actual photograph of the pig's amazing Roto-Rooter. I too regret this.
posted by 31d1 at 12:57 AM on August 5, 2006


If A and B are true, then C is true.
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:06 AM on August 5, 2006


I'm pretty sure Jessamyn has previously provided just such a picture.
posted by beerbajay at 3:42 AM on August 5, 2006


The first link of this post used to be a photo of a pig penis (extracted from the pig...) but it's now gone.
posted by beerbajay at 3:46 AM on August 5, 2006


$30 right here
posted by thirteenkiller at 4:48 AM on August 5, 2006


If A and B are true, then C is true.

Valid constructs have three conditions
This construct has two conditions.
---------
Therefore, this construct is false.
posted by eriko at 6:49 AM on August 5, 2006


You pigs. (Now stop neglecting those cute rabbits and gerbils.)
posted by gorgor_balabala at 7:14 AM on August 5, 2006


Rabbits eat poop . Gerbils have epilepsy. Pigs have corkscrew penises.

Thank you, Goofus. Now let's have Gallant tell us what we should say on the first date.
posted by dirigibleman at 7:52 AM on August 5, 2006


Gerbils have very few diseases and are very healthy.

Besides the occasional minor (non-fatal) epileptic fit, sometimes gerbils will get wet-tail syndrome (a diarrhea type disease which is extremely fatal to a desert animal) and males run a small chance of an scent gland tumor - often requiring multiple surgeries to fully remove. Fortunately many veterinary surgeons discount hugely for pocket pet surgery ($50-100 is typical, compared to $300 and up for other animals).

All of these are extremely rare (I've had tons of gerbils over the course of my life, and I've only seen the epilepsy and the tumor, once each) and in general gerbils are by far the healthiest of the rodent pets. Come to think of it I've yet to see another pet species of any type with such a good track record - they tend to just be very active and healthy right up until the end. Every gerbil death I've seen was more or less a surprise, like somebody just flipped a switch.
posted by Ryvar at 7:54 AM on August 5, 2006


Fascinating about the cecotropes and the pig repro system.
posted by nickyskye at 9:57 AM on August 5, 2006


The rabbit link waffled on about nutrients from the cecum without really really explaining it - plant matter is so difficult to digest that most herbivours have to send their food through the digestive system twice, else you spend a lot of your energy breaking it down, but don't quite break it down to the point where you can digest enough of it to get much energy back. On the second time through, it's broken down enough for more complete digestion. Rabbits eat their poop, cows chew their vomit cud, etc etc.
posted by -harlequin- at 2:38 PM on August 5, 2006


Heh, I should make that last line more consistant:

Rabbits eat their poop cecotropes, cows chew their puke cud. etc. etc.

posted by -harlequin- at 2:50 PM on August 5, 2006


Goats faint.
posted by pracowity at 3:08 PM on August 5, 2006


I think there is a paper-scissors-stone game in here somewhere.
posted by -harlequin- at 3:11 PM on August 5, 2006


I was certain that this video had been posted on the blue with reference to something or another.
posted by namret at 5:11 PM on August 5, 2006


What is this, Animal Science 101 week?

Boars can also ejaculate continuously for upwards of 20 minutes and produce 500 mL of semen. You wanted to know that too, didn't you?
posted by zennie at 9:52 PM on August 5, 2006


"...was certain that this video had been posted..."

Omigawd! That was the most disturbing thing! What the hell are they doing accumulating pig sperm? What can that possibly be used for? And why were those pigs happily humping air underneath a bent piece a metal? Don't they at least get a magazine to beat off too? That was just all kinds of gross on so many levels.
posted by ZachsMind at 11:40 PM on August 5, 2006


Omigawd! That was the most disturbing thing! What the hell are they doing accumulating pig sperm? What can that possibly be used for? And why were those pigs happily humping air underneath a bent piece a metal? Don't they at least get a magazine to beat off too? That was just all kinds of gross on so many levels.
posted by ZachsMind


"Mommy, where does bacon come from?"
"From the grocery store, sweetie."

Using artificial insemination is vastly more efficient and sanitary than leaving the pigs to breed on their own, and has the advantage of allowing genetic/pedigree selection across the herd. Same goes for other 4-legged livestock.

With this method, you need far, far fewer mature males to accomplish the same task. Mature male pigs and goats have a distinct, unpleasant smell that can contaminate the product. Bulls can be dangerous to handle; a good many farms, both dairy and beef, keep no breeding bulls of their own.

As for the bent peice of metal, the boar is easily trained to do that.
posted by zennie at 10:17 AM on August 6, 2006


Omigawd! That was the most disturbing thing! What the hell are they doing accumulating pig sperm? What can that possibly be used for? And why were those pigs happily humping air underneath a bent piece a metal? Don't they at least get a magazine to beat off too? That was just all kinds of gross on so many levels.
posted by ZachsMind


"Mommy, where does bacon come from?"
"From the grocery store, sweetie."

Using artificial insemination is vastly more efficient and sanitary than leaving the pigs to breed on their own, and has the advantage of allowing genetic/pedigree selection across the herd. Same goes for other 4-legged livestock.

With this method, you need far, far fewer mature males to accomplish the same task. Mature male pigs and goats have a distinct, unpleasant smell that can contaminate the product. Bulls can be dangerous to handle; a good many farms, both dairy and beef, keep no breeding bulls of their own.

As for the bent peice of metal, the boar is easily trained to do that.
posted by zennie at 10:17 AM on August 6, 2006


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