Comments on: Your Band Name Sucks

Your Band Name Sucks

mr_crash_davis — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 19:40:18 -0800

Your band name sucks: 50 of the Inexcusably Worst. (via Fark)

By: doctor_negative

doctor_negative — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 19:45:14 -0800

hmm, apparently he doesn't like band names.

By: solid-one-love

solid-one-love — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 19:45:58 -0800

They missed "Godspeed! You Black Emperor" Everything that sucks about a band name, even though the band is quite good.

By: thirteenkiller

thirteenkiller — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 19:46:39 -0800

This is dumb

By: fenriq

fenriq — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 19:50:43 -0800

Funny, I always thought Limp Bizkit had to do with Fred Durst having trouble getting a boner. I wonder what constitutes a good band name? Did he ever get that part?

By: ?!

?! — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:00:13 -0800

No, and he didn't even try that hard to find 50 bad band names. These are the 50 he tossed off the top of his head.

By: BrodieShadeTree

BrodieShadeTree — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:00:49 -0800

I think a bad one might be Via Fark.

By: Ryvar

Ryvar — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:05:55 -0800

I actually thought up a great name for a band a few weeks back. When you have a broad, flat sheet of plastic explosives with one side against a metal panel, an overwhelming majority of the force goes in the exact opposite direction of the metal. This is how shaped charges in explosive warheads and landmines work. The United States' Claymore, for example, is pretty much just that with 700 steel balls in front of the explosive sheet. The name of the principle upon which this is based is "The Misznay-Schardin Effect." "The Misznay-Schardin Effect" would make a fucking awesome name for the right sort of band.

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:06:06 -0800

Hmm. What about Sex? And Hitler Stole My Potato? And Scruj MacDuhk? And motherfucking Barenaked Ladies. At the other end of the spectrum, there's JFKFC.

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:10:56 -0800

A much better list of bad band names, courtesy of The Onion (sneak preview: Sh-Sh-Sh-Shark Attack!!!!, The Delaware Stringasm, Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution).

By: Iridic

Iridic — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:14:36 -0800

Seven band names that would be impossible to book.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:14:48 -0800

Some day I will front "Freddy Mercury's Moustache." We will sell shirts that say "I was rocked by Freddy Mercury's Moustache."

By: Baby_Balrog

Baby_Balrog — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:20:51 -0800

Ha! I read the whole thing. My band (bluegrass) is desperately struggling to name ourselves right now. We started out as Aunt Mama, then changed to The Revelators (which I guess has been used many times before) then we changed to Barefoot Runnin, then it was Fish in a Barrel... fuck. I think we're called In Cahoots now. suggestions?

By: fenriq

fenriq — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:30:09 -0800

Baby_Balrog, my suggestions are Creampuff Surprise and Tastes Like Chicken.

By: starkeffect

starkeffect — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:36:58 -0800

Jello Biafra has a few suggestions, Baby_Balrog.

By: sourwookie

sourwookie — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:43:12 -0800

I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness may be the best named band ever.

By: thirteenkiller

thirteenkiller — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:50:49 -0800

My pretend bluegrass band is Pluckin Willie and the Red River Skinners you can't use that

By: Biblio

Biblio — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:51:49 -0800

There is a sign in Boston's South Station that always made me want to start a band: Elevator to Alewife.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:52:35 -0800

What? no Butt Trumpet?

By: Biblio

Biblio — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:53:28 -0800

Oh, and as for bad band names, Death Cab for Cutie always makes me think of Flesh for Lulu. Do you suppose Cutie and Lulu know each other?

By: Schlimmbesserung

Schlimmbesserung — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:58:40 -0800

Does it warrant mentioning that some friends and I once played a gig as The Nuclear Sniffles?

By: greta simone

greta simone — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:59:35 -0800

Apparently Archers of Loaf is named after taking a shit off the top of a vertical rock face

By: dobbs

dobbs — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:59:41 -0800

I think ... Trail of Dead is a great name for a band--though I hate the band. And I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness is indeed a good name. Again, not a fan of the band. I love the name Tight Brothers From Way Back When--and they're a good band as well. Eagles of Death Metal is another fave as is Slutarted. My band (bluegrass) is desperately struggling to name ourselves right now. Flaccid Niggaz would be a great name for a bluegrass band, imo.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:03:21 -0800

I've found that Ralph Wiggum quotes can easily be cobbled into a band name (Tastes Like Burning/Grandma, Super Nintendo Chalmers, I Bent My Wookie, That's Unpossible, Go Banana!, Now I Have Two Owies, A Moon Rock In My Nose, So... Do You... Like... Stuff?). After that, it's just a matter of getting that emo bowl haircut and a striped polo shirt, and yer good ta go!

By: bob sarabia

bob sarabia — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:03:44 -0800

Anytime someone asks me for band name suggestions I tell them: "Flaccid Penis". Although I think I'll be stealing "Flaccid Niggaz". Thanks dobbs.

By: 517

517 — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:15:05 -0800

Blet.

By: zennie

zennie — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:16:08 -0800

Hey... it's my ~~buddy~~ mortal enemy, Mike. I liked this article better.

By: justkevin

justkevin — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:20:28 -0800

I like the seven band names that would be impossible to book list. The forgot my favorite, TBA. It does seem like the 50 list was kind of random, although I do agree with some of the more ridiculously pretentious ones like "!!!" and "You Will Know Us By Our Name Is Too Long." Finally, I'm baffled by the omission of .

By: aubilenon

aubilenon — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:32:31 -0800

Sweet. sweet wookie: I was going to mention that if you didn't. Though I've never heard what they actually sound like I love reading about them! German minimal-ambient-dub-techno producer Various Artists is maybe not the worst name every but it's certainly a pain in the ass.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:36:38 -0800

Needs more Douglas Adams.

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:37:37 -0800

I think I remember a Canadian band back in the '90s that went by the name Special Guests (as in Live at _____'s, _________ with Special Guests).

By: Grimgrin

Grimgrin — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 22:06:25 -0800

You remember correctly Card Cheat, there was indeed a band called The Special Guests.

By: trip and a half

trip and a half — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 22:09:08 -0800

"Service Temporarily Unavailable" does suck as a band name.

By: maryh

maryh — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 22:19:21 -0800

Okay, Baby_Balrog: Vendetta Smith and the Shivs Turgid MuthaPluckah STFUHaterz! The Davis Gloryhole Death of Perspective Cargo Cult Science Obsolete Weinermobile Farmer John's Hog Heaven In fact, on any given day, I'll bet the front page of MeFi has at least two awesome potential band names.

By: UrineSoakedRube

UrineSoakedRube — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 22:37:59 -0800

Hey Baby_balrog, how about Your Band Name Sucks?

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 22:45:21 -0800

We've been doing this for years around here, so why not just tap the well?

By: oncogenesis

oncogenesis — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 22:49:38 -0800

The most awesomest band name in the word is obviously and irrefutably Puppet Show.

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 22:52:39 -0800

They missed "Godspeed! You Black Emperor" Everything that sucks about a band name, even though the band is quite good. It only sucks because you have the exclamation point in the wrong place. It's "Godspeed You! Black Emperor," and it used to be "Godspeed You Black Emperor!" as you can see on their releases page. Interestingly enough, it moved not out of pure pretentiousness, but because they found out that the second was a better translation of the Japanese movie title.

By: pompomtom

pompomtom — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 22:56:53 -0800

The most awesomest band name in the word is obviously and irrefutably Puppet Show. Actually, it's "The Brady Bunch Lawn Mower Massacre".

By: maryh

maryh — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:11:29 -0800

The most awesomest band name in the word is obviously and irrefutably Puppet Show. I'm partial to Blazecock Pileon. Or maybe It's Raing Florence Henderson. What the hell, just go through the user names here, it's a veritable buffet of band name goodness. Jonson! (Add a couple of umlauts and it goes from Wiggles to death rock.)

By: jonson

jonson — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:11:33 -0800

Kudos, crash. it takes a ballsy man to vehemently shout down YouTube links yet tout a "via FARK" tag on his own submission!

By: jonson

jonson — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:12:12 -0800

and by the way, maryh, who told you about my Death Metal Wiggles cover band?

By: anjamu

anjamu — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:14:37 -0800

That Onion list is awesome. I can't decide whether I like the Internet or Mariospeedwagon better, but they're both so bad they're good.

By: maryh

maryh — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:21:05 -0800

(no one had to tell me, jonson.... I just looked deep into the eyes of a profoundly disaffected Australian toddler, and there it was)

By: jimmythefish

jimmythefish — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:34:25 -0800

The Card Cheat, Heh...I used to jam with Jeremy Walsh in Victoria, on occasion, back in the mid-90s. One night he told us he was going out to Winnipeg to join a band named 'Scruj MacDuhk'. We all thought it was a terrible name, and sounded like an even worse idea for a guy with so much talent.

By: jimmythefish

jimmythefish — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:38:59 -0800

I always wanted to start a band called The Saturday Suits.

By: redteam

redteam — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:41:22 -0800

DO NOT MOCK OF MONTREAL!

By: oflinkey

oflinkey — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:48:50 -0800

I once belonged to a pretend band called The Triple Lindy.

By: Hat Maui

Hat Maui — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:57:05 -0800

for totally stoopid, it's hard to beat troubled hubble.

By: tim_in_oz

tim_in_oz — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 00:21:13 -0800

In deference to the glut of similarly named bands out there at the moment, I always thought The Plural Nouns would be a winner.

By: bullnipple

bullnipple — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 00:53:34 -0800

Stinkin' Lincoln & the Logs? The Shaved Peachies? Bullnipple? Ultra Men? The Eggfarts?

By: jtron

jtron — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 01:14:11 -0800

I once (for four years) belonged to a real band called The Virgin Connie Swail.

By: jiawen

jiawen — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 01:27:24 -0800

A long time ago, in the Twin Cities, there was a band named the Master Beaters. They changed their name to something that nobody laughed at but also nobody remembered.

By: randomination

randomination — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 02:21:05 -0800

If I ever started a band, I would call it Billstickers Will Be Prosecuted, because then I could stick posters everywhere and nobody could ever paper them over.

By: Mikey-San

Mikey-San — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 02:51:57 -0800

MetaFilter: Flaccid Niggaz.

By: planetkyoto

planetkyoto — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 02:58:27 -0800

Regarding the "impossible to book" names, there was a SoCal band that went the other way, with a name that would look good on the marquee: "Free Beer".

By: Gordion Knott

Gordion Knott — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 03:53:14 -0800

Worst name, currently popular band: Hoobastank. Worst names, one-name bands going for the "we're so bland it's hip" angle: Love, Bread, Train (last two mentioned by article). Worst name, band I dig, despite it's moniker: Meshuggah. Justifiable mispelling missed by article: Led Zepplin. No, the "Led" isn't mispelled to look hip. Zep's manager chose "Led" fearing "Lead" would be mispronounced as "Leed" (cf. Rolling Stone Aug. 10, 2006).

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 04:00:50 -0800

Peanut Butter Conspiracy. Every bit as bad as their name. Spencer Dryden had the good sense to bail out and join Jefferson Airplane.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 04:23:13 -0800

Maybe Baby_balrog can name his band "404 band not found".

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 04:36:48 -0800

I submit "Jackie O Motherfucker!" as the worst bandname backed up by the worst music I have ever heard live.

By: dobbs

dobbs — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 05:01:50 -0800

I submit "Jackie O Motherfucker!" as the worst bandname backed up by the worst music I have ever heard live. I have all their albums.

By: Dr-Baa

Dr-Baa — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 05:13:10 -0800

I submit "Jackie O Motherfucker!" And they are a pain in the ass to announce on the air. You can't really use "Jackie O" because there's some other group by that name. So you end up saying "Jackie O MF" which just sounds dumb. Another woe- when I tell people I'm a fan of Him, they think I mean Him.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 05:41:51 -0800

Glad to see "Anal Cunt" made the list... When I first heard about them, it was about 12 years ago and someone at the uni was passing out flyers for them. I thought to myself "if there's a band that was ever doomed to be stuck in the college circuit forever, that would be the one". It seemed to me to be a gimmick band whose name would probably be the only thing memorable about it. Surprisingly enough they're still around, although I can't imagine they could possibly get marquees in too many places -- except perhaps in Montreal, partly because it's a French-speaking city, and also partly because other Montreal favorites include The Porn Flakes, Nashville Pussy and Me, Mom and Morgenthaler (Morgenthaler is the name of the first Canadian doctor to provide abortions on demand).

By: jon_kill

jon_kill — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:17:05 -0800

Don't forget Montreal favorites The Vaginal Croutons.

By: Dreama

Dreama — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:32:15 -0800

I once (for four years) belonged to a real band called The Virgin Connie Swail. For quite a while, my group was called Pep Streebeck Swings. We never got a single booking under that name. Not a one.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:42:53 -0800

If I were going to name a band, I'd try really hard to sell the band members on "Flaming Datum." I'd be willing to bet it's been used, though. In all seriousness: Given the advent of the Internet, has anybody ever tried to do a universal band-name registry?

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:46:24 -0800

As far as I can tell, the best band name on the linked site is Service Temporarily Unavailable. Not so catchy, is it?

By: pax digita

pax digita — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:48:13 -0800

In the Olympia section of Columbia, SC (where Hootie and the Blowfish hail from), there's a business on Whaley street called General Jack and Grease Gun service, so natch, there was a band called General Jack and the Grease Guns. Another band name I like: The Windbreakers.

By: rsanheim

rsanheim — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 07:28:21 -0800

Thanks for the Onion link - much better then the FPP. Mariospeedwagon is just awesome.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 07:31:09 -0800

The Shitty Beatles is my favorite band name.

By: kittyprecious

kittyprecious — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 08:14:28 -0800

A much better list of bad band names, courtesy of The Onion It's shame about Gnarls Barkley, then.

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 08:52:07 -0800

> Mariospeedwagon is just awesome. There was also a REO Speeddealer at one point.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 08:54:38 -0800

Indeed, redteam. This will not stand. You go high, I'll go low.

By: 1f2frfbf

1f2frfbf — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 09:25:23 -0800

I gotta say, my friend's ska band who went by the unfortunate name of Skanorrhea and the Burning Sensations is the leader in the current race for best worst name in my humble lifetime. Too bad I hate ska, because they were probably pretty good at it.

By: blucevalo

blucevalo — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 09:30:32 -0800

I don't know from "worst," but I always thought Scraping Foetus Off the Wheel was the band name with the most chutzpah.

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 09:33:03 -0800

I thought JonBenet Stranglehold was the best of the worst. The worst of the worst? Pretty Flowers. Just typing the name makes my teeth hurt.

By: Joey Michaels

Joey Michaels — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 11:42:58 -0800

Holy shit. I'm in the position of defending Mr. Mister, who I despise. Mr. Mister was actually named after a character from Marc Blitzstein's "The Cradle Will Rock," which was featured prominently (no surprise) in Tim Robbin's "Cradle Will Rock." Mr. Mister is the evil capitalist villain of the piece. While I can't stand the band Mr. Mister, I at least give them a bit of credit for taking their name from a mostly obscure (if highly regarded due to the circumstances involving its staging) play. That being said, the name is still silly and the band kind of bit, in my opinion.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 12:23:34 -0800

I was briefly in a band in high school called "A Bunch of Guys Who Just Happen To Have Instruments." I may still have an mp3 somewhere of our hit single, "Robbed of My Thing." Good times.

By: joshiz

joshiz — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 12:46:42 -0800

My vote for the best band name is "JFKFC". They had posters which perfectly halfway morphed the Colonel and JFK with their name in the KFC typeface...brilliant.

By: jonp72

jonp72 — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 12:54:56 -0800

I like the Progressive Boink post if only because it's written from the viewpoint of somebody who takes the processing of naming a band very seriously. On the other hand, there were probably some names from 1960s psych bands, 1970s wimp rock bands, or 1980s hard core punk acts that also deserved a good thrashing.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 12:56:35 -0800

I tried to convince my friends to call our band "Free Beer". They thought it would be bad faith to put out a poster that said "Free Beer at the music hall Friday night!" And then when you get there it's just us wise-asses.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 13:08:49 -0800

I think calling a band "Free Beer" would only be a good idea if you like having things thrown at you while on stage. Like free beer.

By: Iridic

Iridic — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 13:28:16 -0800

Free Beer.

By: Zack_Replica

Zack_Replica — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 15:57:43 -0800

I've always liked The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets. "They're on a Lovecraft binge of madness, and they mean to take you with them."

By: I, Credulous

I, Credulous — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 16:01:04 -0800

"Anal Cunt" is just proof that anal-genital sex can produce offspring... and any band that puts "Fuck" or some variant (fuck, jackie o motherfucker) in their band name is just trying too hard. I recall a review i read at the time for Van Halen's "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" album: "I remember a Van Halen where the FUCK was in the music, not on the record sleeve..." and for someone to put it in their band name, well...meh.

By: I, Credulous

I, Credulous — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 16:47:54 -0800

Oh! and "Weretable and the Undead Chairs" is a rockin' good name for a bar band.

By: JDC8

JDC8 — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 17:20:42 -0800

Shitty Shitty Band Band.

By: Joybooth

Joybooth — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 18:16:29 -0800

"16 Bitch Pile-Up" is a favorite of mine from The Onion's list and appeals to my So-Cal roots, but I really like anything involving "Joybooth"

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 18:35:31 -0800

Beauty's in the eye of the beholder and all that. Half the names on the list I happen to like, even if I don't like or don't know the music. What's in a name, anyway? Before it was Boingo, it was Oingo Boingo. Before that, it was The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo. A brilliantly disturbing euphoria of cacophonic sound by any other name... Chicago was originally "the Chicago Transit Authority" but was told by The Chicago Transit Authority to cut it out, so they shortened it to just Chicago. I don't think anyone in Chicago was ever from Chicago. Likewise, I don't think anyone in Boston (isn't it, like, ONE guy?) is from Boston. Pretty much every band is a stupid name for a band. Y'know what makes good names for bands? Names that actually tell you who's IN the band. "The Ramones" is a great name for a band, cuz that's who they were. Of course, that's not REALLY who they were but don't tell nobody. Buddy Holly & the Crickets. now THAT was a name!

By: dlugoczaj

dlugoczaj — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 19:09:35 -0800

I guess he's classifying "When People Were Shorter and Lived Near the Water" and "We've Got a Fuzz Box and We're Gonna Use It" as generic too-long band names in the "Trail of Dead" category? I always loved the first one, myself. And I always wanted to name a band "The Fishguards and the Ripley Snells" (I think they should be some kind of twangy alt-country group)--comes from a list of people who stayed at Gatsby's house during the summer in The Great Gatsby.

By: GoatCactus

GoatCactus — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 20:11:16 -0800

I always wanted to name a punk band Rut Gonad and the Bleeding Stumps.

By: Clamwacker

Clamwacker — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 21:12:19 -0800

I've got a little running list of punk band names that I just come up with from time to time. A few selections: The Mechanical Codpiece, Old Ladies Lifting Cars, Gigolo Pensioners, Stoopid Fresh Nazi Apartheid, Pabst Smear, Low Carb Toilet Paper, Defenestrating Callipygians and Idiot-Savant Insurance Scam. If anybody starts a wildly successful band with one of these names, then you have to write a song about me or something.

By: owhydididoit

owhydididoit — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 21:53:21 -0800

Boone Doggies?

By: Eideteker

Eideteker — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 03:39:32 -0800

"12. This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb I'm not sure if the band's fans think it's funny or annoying when they put the band's sticker on their actual bikes & then get asked about it by every authority figure ever..." Try explaining to each of your parents (and later several family members) in separate conversations why you're going to see a band called Burning Airlines in NYC just a few days after the WTC was killed by airplanes.

By: Bageena

Bageena — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 10:04:47 -0800

Who knew that after two years of reading this site religiously without bothering to sign up, this would be the thread to inspire me to finally shell out $5? I couldn't go without sharing what I think would be the greatest bandname ever; 37 Pieces of Flair.

By: sandking

sandking — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 14:41:14 -0800

something corporate? I always thought "The Band" was the most retarded name evah.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 18:55:45 -0800

Well, you're ret- damn. Anyhoo:

They wanted to call themselves either "The Honkies" or "The Crackers", but these names were vetoed by their record label, who dubbed them "The Band"... Initially, they disliked the moniker, but eventually grew to like it, paradoxically thinking it both humble and presumptuous.

By: hoborg

hoborg — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 12:34:45 -0800

This post is getting a little old, but for the sake of future searchers, allow me to add that I once went to and have a poster from a double-billing of Wesley Willis (great in his own right), and "Raft of Dead Monkeys"