Truth in Advertising

August 15, 2006 3:13 PM

Hummer Adstrikes all the wrong notes. Tofu-eater feels insecure upon seeing an unrepentant meat-muncher, goes buys a Hummer to 'Restore the balance' (previous tagline: 'Restore your manhood'.) Somehow the ad agency forgot that you're supposed to get the message of "Feeling Down on Yourself? Buy Our Product, Show it Off, You'll Feel Better!" across subtly, not explicitly.
posted by Firas (107 comments total)

Editorial: Hummer spokeswoman says the ad is supposed to make the Hummer a more "approachable vehicle that will appeal to introverts, extroverts, vegans, and carnivores."

I'm confused. Is the ad supposed to side with the non-tofu-eating Hummer buyers in thinking of vegetarians as 'sissies' (a more overt version of 'A Big Fat Juicy Cheeseburger in a Land of Tofu'?) Are tofu-eaters likely to identify with an ad that says their preferences are unmanly/unbalanced? Is either really going to look at an ad that says things so plainly ("got a small penis? buy a hummer!") and agree? The Sierra Club's blog says, "it's probably as close as we're ever going to get to truth in advertising."

View ads at: Hummer.com → Hummer World → TV Commercials → 'Tofu' (a similar ad is called 'Slide', in which a woman with wounded pride buys a Hummer, which is how you "Get your girl on").
posted by Firas at 3:15 PM on August 15, 2006

Here's a direct link to the TV spot
posted by mathowie at 3:19 PM on August 15, 2006

Saw one of these ads as I was leaving work today, and I had the exact same reaction. They should have one where a man goes out on a date with a woman, they get back to his place, he drops his pants, she laughs, he leaves, he buys a Hummer.
posted by EarBucket at 3:22 PM on August 15, 2006 [3 favorites has favorites]

In the version of the ad I saw the slogan was "Restore the balance"...at any rate, it's good to know that as long as I buy a Hummer I can still eat tofu and not be a homo.
posted by Stonewall Jackson at 3:27 PM on August 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

In the female version (mom and kid at park, another mom cuts in line, 1st mom gets peeved, leaves and gets a hummer) I kept expecting the new hummer owner to drive back to the park to somehow intimidate the rude mom. I was let down. I thought everyone with a small self-worth knows you have to show off the new toy, to get the ego boost.
posted by nomisxid at 3:28 PM on August 15, 2006

it's good to know that as long as I buy a Hummer I can still eat tofu and not be a homo.

Nah, you'd still be a homo, but if anyone called you on it you could just run them over with your giant truck.
posted by purplemonkie at 3:31 PM on August 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

What if you ate tofu while a homo gave you a hummer?
posted by jonmc at 3:32 PM on August 15, 2006 [7 favorites has favorites]

Ehh, I think the ads' creators are counting on us getting that it makes explicit what is supposed to be implicit.

Like those High Life commercials of several years ago.

Or like playing hothands and telling your opponent how you're going to slap him, and when, and then doing just that.
posted by notyou at 3:32 PM on August 15, 2006

Heh. This one from High Life is also relevant.
posted by notyou at 3:35 PM on August 15, 2006

Better: Same guy/Same Hummer pulling into gas station and sticking the hose in the tank a couple times a week. End of commercial super: Take It Like A Man.
posted by hal9k at 3:44 PM on August 15, 2006

Folks, you're not the target audience for the ad. Of course you don't like it; but they don't care what you think because you're not going to buy a Hummer no matter what.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 3:47 PM on August 15, 2006

I hate these ads almost as much as the migraine-inducing Passat commercial with the idiots squawking through megaphones "Because my Daddy never hugged me" and "Because I'm compensating for my shortcomings." Now that's a gay TV spot.
posted by blucevalo at 3:47 PM on August 15, 2006

Guy driving a beetle gets run over by a standard SUV, gets Hummer, trashes the SUV.
Payoff: don't get mad, restore the balance
posted by beno at 3:51 PM on August 15, 2006

Next Spring when gas hits $5.00 per gallon the Hummer will die a slow embarrassing death. No amount of advertising will save it.
posted by tkchrist at 3:52 PM on August 15, 2006

I love that Passat commercial with the megaphones.

it's good to know that as long as I buy a Hummer I can still eat tofu and not be a homo.

Um... around here, teh Gays are buying up all the Hummers and Harleys -- if you're driving a Hummer, chances are 50/50 you are GLBT. I love this city.
posted by Extopalopaketle at 3:52 PM on August 15, 2006

The old Hummer beard trick.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:54 PM on August 15, 2006

Steven C. Den Beste: obviously, but I'm honestly curious about who is. Clearly round here we tend to be anti-anti-tofu, anti-playground-one-up-ism, anti-SUV, anti-buying-for-buying's-sake… but again, if the message is, "Hummers will improve your ego"—what's the negative portrayal of tofu-eaters got to do with it, if it's really a way to market things to tofu-eating-types?

I guess I'm looking at the Tofu part too specifically, maybe it's just a way to 'get' to 'I need to up my alpha quotient' types. Fine. But that's a pretty insulting way to do it, no? Again, it's the implicit vs. explicit thing. But I suppose chewing gum or breath mint ads are pretty similar.
posted by Firas at 3:56 PM on August 15, 2006

Hummer! Apply directly to the ego!
Hummer! Apply directly to the ego!
Hummer! Apply directly to the ego!
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:57 PM on August 15, 2006 [8 favorites has favorites]

This is marketing directly targetted at passive aggressive yuppies. They are uncomfortable with their place in the world, they can't communicate or solve their problems, so they buy a Hummer. It couldn't be any more perfect.
posted by mano at 3:57 PM on August 15, 2006

Folks, you're not the target audience for the ad. Of course you don't like it; but they don't care what you think because you're not going to buy a Hummer no matter what.

That's true.

So what did you think of it?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 4:00 PM on August 15, 2006

In the female version (mom and kid at park, another mom cuts in line, 1st mom gets peeved, leaves and gets a hummer) I kept expecting the new hummer owner to drive back to the park to somehow intimidate the rude mom. I was let down.

Me too. My mom would have slapped that bitch silly and saved herself $29,500.

Of course, the days my mom and I would've been at a playground together were much less litigious times
posted by elwoodwiles at 4:01 PM on August 15, 2006

What's the guy buying the meat drive? A Mini?
posted by melixxa600 at 4:05 PM on August 15, 2006

he drops his pants, she laughs, he leaves, he buys a Hummer.



"I was in the pool!"
posted by ericb at 4:18 PM on August 15, 2006

Wait a minute. That guy has nothing to be ashamed of. Did you SEE that hunk of tofu? It was HUGE. That was the biggest slab of tofu I have ever seen. And I know tofu.

(By which I mean tofu, not, you know ... tofu.)
posted by R. Mutt at 4:20 PM on August 15, 2006

as long as I buy a Hummer I can still eat tofu and not be a homo.

I'm such a macho man, I can eat tofu, and like it, and still be a Real Man. Hell, I can even eat quiche! Still, I'm not sure if I could handle buying a Hummer without feeling just a little emasculated. I am not quite at that level yet. Driving one, sure, but actually choosing to buy one of those things is hard to do, yeah. I suppose having lots of money would be an easy substitute for the kind of super-confident masculinity it takes to acquire that much debt for such a silly-looking toy as the H2. The original H1 is another matter of course, but I think they stopped making those. Ah, but my point is that there is more to tofu than the un-initiated could suspect, it's such a wild and crazy food. I heard somewhere that the tofu-hunters who wrestle the beasts to death have to use only their bare hands, for if any metal comes into contact with living tofu-flesh before it's cured, the taste is ruined. Some of the lesser guys use plastic tools to kill the tofus, but that's like cheating. Also, tofu is said to improve the part of your brain that handles the haggling over car prices, so eat it up if you want to buy a Hummer.

subtly, not explicitly.

If TV ads are supposed to be subtle, then as a rule, all of their creators forget that rule. I have more subtlety in my left earlobe than have all the televised commercials I've seen in the past month. And I'm not even feeling very subtle right now, I probably haven't been eating enough cauliflower.
posted by sfenders at 4:24 PM on August 15, 2006

you could just run them over with your giant truck

Angry Woman Gets Revenge at McDonald's.
posted by ericb at 4:24 PM on August 15, 2006

It's not the size of the drivetrain, it's the torque and maneuverability. Or at least that's what my mechanic tells me. Your mileage may vary. Apparently.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:27 PM on August 15, 2006

"Jaguar - for men who want handjobs from women they barely know."

Hummer - for men who want hum... oh, forget it.
posted by bwg at 4:31 PM on August 15, 2006

I hate these ads because they make people look as weak, foolish, vain, and impulsive as possible. How screwed up would you have to be to go buy a car because someone cut in line at a park? Who'd want to identify with these losers? Thinking about these ads I seriously wouldn't drive a hummer if someone gave it to me... well ok I'd sell it and bank the cash.
posted by scheptech at 4:32 PM on August 15, 2006

I kept expecting the new hummer owner to drive back to the park to somehow intimidate the rude mom

Evelyn Couch -- aka 'Towanda' (Kathy Bates) in 'Fried Green Tomatoes":

"Evelyn: Excuse me. I was waiting for that space.

Girl #1: Yeah, tough!

Girl #2: Face it, lady, we're younger and faster.

Evelyn: ...Towanda. (screams and smashes into the car) Towanda!! Yes ma'am!

Girl #2: What are you doing? Are you crazy?

Evelyn: Face it, girls. I'm older and I have more insurance."

posted by ericb at 4:33 PM on August 15, 2006

Except in the next scene where her insurance has dumped her. After, of course, denying her claim (it wasn't an accident). Then there's the jail time for vehicular assault. Yeah. I think Towanda does Evelyn in the back of the jail cell.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:36 PM on August 15, 2006

Hummer Overfloweth:

"The word around town was that the Hummers weren't moving....We were skeptical at first. Sources can be unreliable, but the scuttlebutt was that inventory had been building for months now and the local Hummer dealer had panicked. He had begun storing his Hummer inventory at an undisclosed location, far from the dealer showroom so as not to spook jittery, prospective buyers with the mounting number of unsold H2s and H3s. When an anonymous caller phoned in with the location, we were off. 'The rear parking lot of the Hyatt Westlake Plaza Hotel,' he said..."

story and photos

posted by ericb at 4:39 PM on August 15, 2006

Florence, Evelyn didn't hit the girls, just their car...I'd think it'd be a charge of malicious mischief at best.
posted by nomisxid at 4:47 PM on August 15, 2006

Updates to the Hummer Overfloweth:

Deluge, Epilogue (For Now), Hummer Overfloweth Still.
posted by ericb at 4:47 PM on August 15, 2006

Seems like a sign of desperatation - you can't afford to play subtle if no-ones wants your product.

Perhaps as percieved disposable income shrinks and demand dries up, ads are going to go full circle, back to the more innocent time where an advert clearly stated your shortcomings and what the product would do to relieve them. None of this subliminal whatnot and hints and sexual undertones; in these uncertain times I demand a product that gives me more sex, more power, or preferably both.
posted by MetaMonkey at 4:53 PM on August 15, 2006

Fuck you and your Hummer (previously).
posted by ericb at 4:57 PM on August 15, 2006

Two words; mute button.
posted by Tube at 4:57 PM on August 15, 2006

Heh. I wondered about that after I posted, nomisxid. I guess they just jailed her for pathetic overacting.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:58 PM on August 15, 2006

, but I'm honestly curious about who is.
posted by Firas at 3:56 PM PST

People who are on the USS Clueless.
posted by rough ashlar at 5:01 PM on August 15, 2006

Check out flikr, search words "hummer" + "finger"
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ubersleuth/206255870/
posted by jacob hauser at 5:02 PM on August 15, 2006

> Um... around here, teh Gays are buying up all the Hummers and Harleys -- if you're driving a Hummer, chances
> are 50/50 you are GLBT. I love this city.

Yeah, but they have their Harleys delivered to the leather bar in taxicabs. What do they do with the H2s?
posted by jfuller at 5:15 PM on August 15, 2006

[self post, but highly relevant...]


posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:15 PM on August 15, 2006

Yeah, that one with the other mom cutting in line at the playfield drives me nuts. What the ad folks don't seem to realize is that, for most people (IMHO), the person doing the cutting and being a jerk is the one who we'd identify as the Hummer driver.

A great mash-up of this commercial would play almost the same, except at the end the person now cutting in line is the new Hummer owner.

The Ci-i-i-rcle of Li-i-i-i-fe!
posted by Aquaman at 5:35 PM on August 15, 2006

Did you see the run of ads for the Hummer where the pretty lady with the smirk on her face drives alone in this monstrous 17 foot vehicle? Is she a soldier in Iraq fighting the War on Terror? Is this the vehicle she needs to navigate her way through the twists and turns of her everyday life?
posted by entropy at 5:38 PM on August 15, 2006

Funny, I was recently offended by an Ntelos TV ad while I was visiting Virginia. I'm not easily offended. So what offended me?

AD: A small hybrid car pulls up to stoplight. A humongous truck pulls up next to him. The driver, a classic American Jock @sswipe, leans out of window and humiliates the dopey little guy in the little car by making fun of his cell phone and his car. Then he zooms off, while the hybrid struggles to gain speed.

So it's not manly to drive a fuel-efficient car? Is that the take-away? I thought to myself, "man this would never run in California."
posted by tritisan at 5:47 PM on August 15, 2006

I found this commercial amusingly pathetic until I saw the logo shot at the end, where the earth spreads out in front of you. They chose to center the shot on Vancouver, from where you zoom out to see the glaciers of the Coast Range, and the forests and the broken coastline of BC. Way to use the natural beauty of my province to sell a product helping to destroy it.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 5:53 PM on August 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

On another note, McDonalds is giving away cheap toy Hummers with their happy meals. (I hate McDonalds, but the four-year-old, you know. They just get so excited.)

So anyway, it seems that someone thought that a toy Hummer wasn't exactly PC enough, so it came with little stickers for the sides that say "HYDROGEN". Get it? It's a Hydrogen Fuel Cell Hummer. Very eco. Now I can feel good about it!
posted by fungible at 5:55 PM on August 15, 2006

Hell, I can even eat quiche!

It's not quiche, it's egg pie!!!
posted by pompomtom at 6:09 PM on August 15, 2006

They should have a commercial for Metafilter like this, where a shitty post like this is followed by a really good post and then the first guy leaves Metafilter and goes to Fark.
posted by Mr_Zero at 6:27 PM on August 15, 2006

Keep taunting me and I'll have to go buy a Mefi Pro™ account.
posted by Firas at 6:34 PM on August 15, 2006

Homer: Hmm. I wonder why he's so eager to go to the garage?

Moe: The garage? Hey fellas, the garage! Well, ooh la di da, Mr. French Man.

Homer: Well what do you call it?

Moe: A car hole.
posted by knave at 6:34 PM on August 15, 2006

I think I'll take this opportunity to point out some interesting tidbits of information. They're going after both sides of the street. The Hummer seems to know no gender boundries!

Anyway, it's just a TV ad. And it has done its job. Y'all are talking about the ad and the product. Will any of you buy one? Probably not. But you'll still talk about the ad. Isn't that what they were after? As with most advertising, I can't imagine anyone actually going out and buying anything just because they saw it in a TV commercial. Usually we just watch it a few times and IM it to a friend and giggle about it before going back to Fark.
posted by drstein at 6:44 PM on August 15, 2006

Check out flikr, search words "hummer" + "finger"

OK.....
posted by mmahaffie at 6:48 PM on August 15, 2006

are you guys serious? insulting?

i haven't seen the gas-station "take it like a man" spot but it seems a little bit ironic to me. we're hummer, and we're cool enough to poke fun at ourselves?
posted by sergeant sandwich at 6:49 PM on August 15, 2006

"Next Spring when gas hits $5.00 per gallon the Hummer will die a slow embarrassing death."

Except it won't, because people who drive Hummers don't care what gas costs, or they wouldn't be buying Hummers.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:55 PM on August 15, 2006

tkchrist writes "Next Spring when gas hits $5.00 per gallon the Hummer will die a slow embarrassing death. No amount of advertising will save it."

Short term I don't think that is going to do it. The Hummer is like an elk's rack or a peacock's tail; a blantant show of consumption to prove that they are a capable mate.

fungible writes "McDonalds is giving away cheap toy Hummers with their happy meals. (I hate McDonalds, but the four-year-old, you know. They just get so excited.)"

They wind up! Who wouldn't be excited about that?
posted by Mitheral at 7:03 PM on August 15, 2006

I think the ads should just be a beefy, thick necked stockbroker type looking in the mirror and some nice big type saying "Go ahead, everybody thinks you're an asshole already... Hummer!"
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:03 PM on August 15, 2006

Dudes who drive Hummers are compensating for small penises?

I take public transportation. You do the math.
posted by jonmc at 7:12 PM on August 15, 2006 [3 favorites has favorites]

One of my vices is to hold my hand out of the window of my Mini with my thumb and forefinger about an inch apart when I encounter a Hummer. (Okay--I don't really have much of a life.)

A Hummer passed me on I-5 a few weeks back and of course I had to give him my Hummer salute. When he got in front of me, I noticed his license: KUZIKAN. I imagine that's cuz CUZICAN was already taken.

Pig.
posted by leftcoastbob at 7:15 PM on August 15, 2006

Most vegetarians & vegans I know cite environmentalism as one of the reasons for their choice ("do you know how many tons of tofu you can produce in a cow's ecological hoofprint?"), so obviously the last thing they would do is buy one of those monsters.

More to the point, they usually ride gnarly urban-assault mountain bikes like absolute lunatic hellmen, as their preferred way of getting around town. Not only would they reach Point B in less than half the time of the Hummer driver, they would also piss themselves laughing at Mr Pencilthigh Lamey McLame, who feels like he needs a tank just to go shopping, so scared of the outside world is he.

I am bitterly disappointed in Hummer, and the ad agency, for lying to me.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:18 PM on August 15, 2006

Hummer! Apply directly to the ego!
Hummer! Apply directly to the ego!
Hummer! Apply directly to the ego!
posted by BitterOldPunk

Fucking brilliant.
posted by karmaville at 7:19 PM on August 15, 2006

(Shirt)
posted by grimcity at 7:20 PM on August 15, 2006

"Dudes who drive Hummers are compensating for small penises?

I take public transportation. You do the math."

Hummer: External dimensions: overall length (inches): 184.5, overall width (inches): 86.5, overall height (inches): 79, ground clearance (inches): 16, wheelbase (inches): 130, front track (inches): 71.6, rear track (inches): 71.6 and curb to curb turning circle (feet): 26.5

MTA New Flyer D60HF: DIMENSIONS :
• Overall length : 17,985 mm
• Front overhang : 2,715 mm
• Wheelbase tractor : 5,790 mm
• Rear overhang tractor : 2,330 mm
• Wheelbase trailer : 5,350 mm
• Rear overhang trailer : 2,330 mm
• Width : 2,550 mm
• Interior height (min.) : 2,315 mm
• Exterior height (max.) : 3,280 mm
• Turning radius : 11,500 mm
• Approach angle : 7°7'
• Departure angle : 7°7'
• Boarding height : 330 mm


Hmm.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:20 PM on August 15, 2006

yes, crash, but I let someone else drive it.

*swaggers out of room*
posted by jonmc at 7:23 PM on August 15, 2006

mr_crash_davis: I think the number of occupants is relevant, but you then have to adjust for male / female ratio, as clits are considerably smaller than penises.

Nutting out the general equation in my head, it seems that jonmc's size must logically be proportional to the number of women on the bus.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:27 PM on August 15, 2006

"jonmc's size must logically be proportional to the number of women on the bus."

That seems self-evident. :)
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:29 PM on August 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

So... jonmc's penis:

a) Is often crowded, hot, and smelly?
b) Covered in graffitti?
c) Costs approximately $2 to ride?



Taxi!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:43 PM on August 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

"I take public transportation. You do the math."

d00d, I ride a 30 year old Vespa and serve my pork, beef, fish, and poultry with the animal's head attached. There's some math in there somewhere.
posted by Extopalopaketle at 7:52 PM on August 15, 2006

I felt the same way about Dunkin' Donuts' karat-AY! ad that was on way too much earlier this year. Now, I don't claim to know much about advertising, but even I was thinking, "so, large corporation - this is how you want to promote your brand, in a summer when gasoline is already over $3.00 a gallon and expected to go much higher soon - by playing into the worst stereotype of the "soccer mom" from five years ago who only exists to drive her spoiled-rotten kids around to whatever activity currently interests them, but not before she stops off at Dunkin' Donuts to swill down yet another over-priced, super-sized, non-nutritious megadrink? Yeah, that should go over real well."

Bonus - while looking for a copy of the hated commercial in question, I discovered I was not alone in my loathing for it.
posted by yhbc at 8:00 PM on August 15, 2006

I saw it back when the tagline read "Restore your manhood". Laughed my head off. It was like hearing the Hummer people say "we give up, these ridiculous things really are just shallow penis extensions".
posted by clevershark at 8:06 PM on August 15, 2006

jonmc writes "yes, crash, but I let someone else drive it. "

Geez, no wonder the subway is always so crowded.
posted by Mitheral at 8:06 PM on August 15, 2006

I would have just leaped out of my chair, grabbed a conveniently placed funnel and rammed it down the throat of the aforementioned carnivore, then pumped eco-friendly, soy-based revenge into his gluttonous innards, quenching his inhumane thirst for flesh once and for all.

But then, my tofu is unstoppable.
posted by Sparx at 8:15 PM on August 15, 2006

Holy crap, all the guys in here are three-legged.
posted by redteam at 8:15 PM on August 15, 2006

MetaFilter: All The Guys In Here Are Three-Legged.
posted by maryh at 8:27 PM on August 15, 2006

WIDE penis extentions.
posted by longsleeves at 8:39 PM on August 15, 2006

A lot of the people driving hummers have boats that burn marine fuel @$3.50 a gal. @ a rate of 20 gals. an hour. The price of fuel is just not a factor in their lives.
Sorry. But it's a sad truth.
posted by notreally at 8:50 PM on August 15, 2006

jonmc -

Not only do I use public transportation, but I walk whenever possible.

That's right.

Damn, son.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:53 PM on August 15, 2006

I drive a unicycle, 20 miles up hill each way to work. You do the math.
posted by drezdn at 9:19 PM on August 15, 2006

OMG! You know what I just now REALIZED?! Hummer could also mean felatio!
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 9:46 PM on August 15, 2006

I hated those commercials. I was almost going to post them to mefi when I first saw them, but I couldn't find 'em on youtube.

Anyway, the commercials I really hate are the ones where the real-estate agents get all up in people's personal bussness. Ugh.
posted by delmoi at 10:07 PM on August 15, 2006

I wish I was smug enough to judge people based on what kind of car they drive. The Porsche 911 Turbo only gets 18MPG. The BMW X3 gets 17MPG. The Porsche Cayenne gets 15MPG. The Hummer hate seems almost irrational and knee-jerk, "Hummer, must get enraged!" Did a Hummer run over Barack Obama or something?
posted by geoff. at 10:32 PM on August 15, 2006

Also with a base price of $30,000 the Hummer is no longer the exclusive purview of the rich and famous. $30,000 for a new car puts it in what? Mid-range? Is it even a luxury car even more?
posted by geoff. at 10:33 PM on August 15, 2006

"with a base price of $30,000 the Hummer is no longer the exclusive purview of the rich"

You're right, even the debt-ridden HELOC ARM IO greater fool can own one.

The Hummer is an icon of the financial idiocy that this country has undertaken.

Remember those ridiculous stock broker ads during the tech bubble? These ads are like that.
posted by dglynn at 11:02 PM on August 15, 2006

Expect similar ads, along similar lines, from other companies. They pretty openly reak of "we give up, it's about your schlong."
posted by ®@ at 11:59 PM on August 15, 2006

I've always thought their tagline "Like nothing else" is wonderfully ambiguous. My turds after a vindaloo curry and eight pints of strong lager are "like nothing else" too.
posted by rhymer at 1:39 AM on August 16, 2006

A lot of the people driving hummers have boats that burn marine fuel @$3.50 a gal. @ a rate of 20 gals. an hour. The price of fuel is just not a factor in their lives.

Actually there was a thing on ABC News in the last couple of weeks about the leisure boat industry dying on its ass because of this.
posted by cillit bang at 4:58 AM on August 16, 2006

Ok, something that struck me last night re breath mints ads, is that dweebs, people who don't look so hot, people who can't get laid, people with bad breath etc. can look at a charicature of themselves and identify because they sort of see that they've failed to integrate a particular trait of theirs with mainstream society. But Tofu eaters aren't like that—they've made a very conscious and assertive decision to pull out of the mainstream eating habits. Telling a Tofu eater that you know he's 'unbalanced' is like telling a Yoga practitioner, or—damn, I don't know, anybody who isn't particularly on the well-beaten path (out of choice) that you can 'bring them back to normalcy'. Completely perpendicular to the way they think.
posted by Firas at 6:03 AM on August 16, 2006

Heh, you people are discussing my penis. Heh Heh.

Tofu eaters aren't like that—they've made a very conscious and assertive decision to pull out of the mainstream eating habits

and they fart a lot.
posted by jonmc at 6:07 AM on August 16, 2006

side note: I'm also pissed at them for using the Sonics' version of "Have Love, Will Travel," (one of the finest. songs. evar.) in one of their spots. The band is exempted from my contempt because they probably needed the money.
posted by jonmc at 6:09 AM on August 16, 2006

them=Hummer.
posted by jonmc at 6:09 AM on August 16, 2006

So if penis size is directly proportional to mpg, then does that mean I have a healthy-sized one because I drive a Camry?

But it's a V6, so there's that.

...

I'M SO CONFUSED.
posted by grubi at 6:49 AM on August 16, 2006

Feh - several other bands who I'm sure could use the money have turned Hummer down.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:52 AM on August 16, 2006

Um, that last post should have looked like:

The band is exempted from my contempt because they probably needed the money.

Feh - several other bands who I'm sure could use the money have turned Hummer down.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:54 AM on August 16, 2006

Tofu eaters aren't like that—they've made a very conscious and assertive decision to pull out of the mainstream eating habits

and they fart a lot.
posted by jonmc at 8:07 AM CST on August 16 [+] [!]

Aww, c'mon; in my house, 25 pounds of meat-eating dog can fart circles around 300 combined pounds of tofu-eating humans.
posted by COBRA! at 6:58 AM on August 16, 2006

The Hummer hate seems almost irrational and knee-jerk, "Hummer, must get enraged!" Did a Hummer run over Barack Obama or something?

No, just that this thread is about the Hummer commercial. I don't see a lot of Porsche commercials claiming that...hell, I just don't see Porsche commercials.

Sports cars that get very poor mileage but go VRROOOM have always been indicative of a small penis. Where have you been?
posted by thanotopsis at 7:00 AM on August 16, 2006

Feh - several other bands who I'm sure could use the money have turned Hummer down.

Well, at this point, I'd be surprised if the Sonics still owned the rights to the song. Plus they're just too good to hate.
posted by jonmc at 7:02 AM on August 16, 2006

To say that the price of fuel is not a factor in buying a Motor vehicle is absurd. When price of fuel is cheap it's not a factor.

These things have to be made by somebody. Making them takes energy. Shipping them takes energy. And to KEEP making them you need a growing market.

If you argue that 4% of the population is wealthy enough to afford an aircraft carrier is irrelevant. Once that six percent already OWNS a Hummer the manufacturer has to grow beyond that market. This is why they created the smaller Hummer in the first place to make it MORE affordable so they could grow the market. The manufacturer has committed to growing the market share three or four years ago BEFORE fuel prices jumped. They are stuck with inefficient models that they can't move at the rate they predicted.

And people in the US drive their cars. They drive their cars everyday - I think the average is like 60 miles a day or something. Mean wages are stagnant and the middle class is getting MORE in debt. So now monthly expenses for driving have just increased two of three fold over where they were four or five years ago. Four or five years ago when the Hummer manufacturing hit it's peak.

If the bulk of the market the Hummer manufacturer targets has seen debt increase, expenses increase, interest rates go up, and wages stagnate then a MUCH larger percentage of your customer base is going into default on car loans.

I'm sorry dudes. If gas prices continue to climb over the next decade at anything close to the rate they are now the Hummer will DIE.
posted by tkchrist at 8:36 AM on August 16, 2006

When peak oil hits, the Hummer drivers are going to run the hybrids off the road and steal their gas. I've seen Road Warrior. They ain't pedalin' bicycles.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:52 AM on August 16, 2006

Sports cars that get very poor mileage but go VRROOOM have always been indicative of a small penis.

Really? You sound like you know what you're talking about, so maybe you can answer this question I've been wondering about. I mean, my friend has been wondering about. He's concerned about the health of his reproductive organs, and stuff, and he was just wondering whether a dual overhead cam is better for penis enhancement, or whether a pushrod engine would be okay. And would the type of fuel injection system make a difference? Because I'd hate to think this guy might hurt that very sensitive part of his body by driving a car with throttle-boddy injection, when some kind of multi-port system could greatly enhance his sexual performance. Okay, thanks.
posted by sfenders at 11:40 AM on August 16, 2006

Hummer! Apply directly to the ego!
Hummer! Apply directly to the ego!
Hummer! Apply directly to the ego!

I'm sorry I'm so late to this thread, because between that there from BitterOldPunk and the in-depth discussion of jonmc's penis, this has been just about the most entertaining thread I've ever seen on MeFi.

My employer will be sending you the bill for yet another keyboard.

"When peak oil hits, the Hummer drivers are going to run the hybrids off the road and steal their gas."

When peak oil hits, the Hummer drivers are going to find their effective combat range rather extremely limited, as opposed to a Prius, don't you think? Besides, the first time that happens, Prius owners will start carrying firearms.
posted by zoogleplex at 11:45 AM on August 16, 2006

"I wish I was smug enough to judge people based on what kind of car they drive. The Porsche 911 Turbo only gets 18MPG. The BMW X3 gets 17MPG. The Porsche Cayenne gets 15MPG. The Hummer hate seems almost irrational and knee-jerk, "Hummer, must get enraged!"

Um, so which would you rather crash into? Also, as you can see about the marketing, there's more to hate about Hummer than just the gas mileage.
posted by mano at 11:48 AM on August 16, 2006

Don't you mean the second time that happens? Cause the first time, it would take them wimpy Prius owners by surprise, wouldn't it? And there probably wouldn't be a second time. Lord Humungus don't take prisoners (except to torture).
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:50 AM on August 16, 2006

Lord Humungus don't take prisoners (except to torture).

True enough. It's all part of being the Ayatollah of Rock-and-Rollah.
posted by COBRA! at 12:10 PM on August 16, 2006

dual overhead cam is better for penis enhancement, or whether a pushrod engine would be okay

Dual Overhead, obviously. I went with that in my 64 Impala in High School. Worked very well for me, thank you.

Now, I drive a Kia, and my wife is extremely satisfied.
posted by thanotopsis at 5:46 PM on August 16, 2006

The BMW X3 gets 17MPG. The Porsche Cayenne gets 15MPG.
Yes, you're right that all large SUVs get bad gas milage. Don't worry, I hate all SUV owners unless I see mud in the wheelwells. The diference between a Hummer those other automobiles is the Hummer is a gross demonstration of consumerism. Admittedly this is less true as the Hummer becomes just another oversized land-yacht, but Hummer's bad rap came from the Weekend Warrior image it projected with the H1, which was a life-sized toy for middle-aged desk-jockeys. The X3 and the Cayenne pretend to be populist vehicles. The Hummer will have to overcome the stigma of its roots.
posted by lekvar at 6:10 PM on August 16, 2006

> he was just wondering whether a dual overhead cam is better for penis enhancement,
> or whether a pushrod engine would be okay.

Pushrod engine is fine. As long as it's that V-10 pushrod in the Viper. Highly penis-enhancing.


> I hate all SUV owners unless I see mud in the wheelwells.

Huh? Mud in the wheelwells means they've been out ripping up the national forest again. And BMW and Porsche are populist? On what planet?
posted by jfuller at 4:31 AM on August 17, 2006

OK, perhaps "populist" was a bad choice, but certainly they have no pretentions of being anything other than civilian automobiles.

And, believe it or not, there are people who live in rural areas. You know, with mud, where 4-wheel-drive is not a luxury.
posted by lekvar at 2:15 PM on August 17, 2006