Ooo...kay...

August 16, 2006 1:38 PM

Magician David Copperfield has succeeded where Alexander the Great and Ponce De Leon failed--he's discovered the fabled Fountain of Youth. As it turns out, it's conveniently located on his posh resort in the Exuma Chain, Bahama Islands.
posted by Iridic (34 comments total)

As it turns out, it's conveniently located on his posh resort in the Exuma Chain, Bahama Islands.
How conveeeeeeenient.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:48 PM on August 16, 2006

David Copperfield just made my interest disappear. MAGIC!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:50 PM on August 16, 2006

Also my principal.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:51 PM on August 16, 2006

Exuma Chain is totally going to be the name of my next metal band.
posted by staggernation at 1:51 PM on August 16, 2006

It sounds like he's discovered hallucinogenic drugs.
posted by purephase at 1:53 PM on August 16, 2006

Look, he's trying to make your money disappear!
posted by bshort at 1:58 PM on August 16, 2006

I wish I could afford my own archipelago.
posted by jefbla at 1:58 PM on August 16, 2006

So, if this successfully drums up interest into whatever Copperfield's got planned, every magician will start preceding every new trick they've got by issuing a straight-faced press release. Criss Angel has discovered the ancient secret of levitation! More information to follow...

This could get tiresome very quickly.
posted by suckerpunch at 2:02 PM on August 16, 2006

Oh, for God's sake, don't let that fucker live forever.
posted by fungible at 2:05 PM on August 16, 2006

So, as he approaches 50 he finds the Fountain of Youth? Don't most guys in mid-life crisis just get a Harley or find a beautiful younger woman? But then again, he was engaged to Claudia Schiffer already, so he probably has to raise the mid-life crisis bar.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 2:07 PM on August 16, 2006

Can this fountain revive dead babies? I think David should kill a few and find out.
posted by vansly at 2:09 PM on August 16, 2006

Actually, as it turns out, this was misreported. Mr. Copperfield is just really excited about having just discovered Fountains of Wayne.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:10 PM on August 16, 2006

He'd long given up on finding Fountains of Pete.
posted by Floydd at 2:16 PM on August 16, 2006

Remember, folks - Copperfield's the same guy who bought a Batmobile from Warner Brothers, only to file a lawsuit when it was revealed the car was a promotional item that hadn't appeared in the 1989 film.

He's also famous for claiming he'd impregnate a female voulenteer onstage, without removing her clothes or performing coitus.

Copperfield also caused caused 30 million dollars to disappear during an attempt to open his own chain of theme restaurants.
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:21 PM on August 16, 2006

Bully for him! I always thought he got a bum rap in life -- what with those nasty Murdstones and that evil Uriah Heep.
posted by pardonyou? at 2:28 PM on August 16, 2006

Maybe he found the Fountains of Wayne?
posted by bDiddy at 2:31 PM on August 16, 2006

How does David Copperfield have $50 million to buy an island? That's the real magic.
posted by geoff. at 2:31 PM on August 16, 2006

Setup for a new resort? Setup for an illusion? Setup for the emergence of the Dread Pirate Copperfield?

He's an entertainer, and I gotta say, this amuses me. I'd be even more amused if he were just doing this for kicks.
posted by zennie at 2:33 PM on August 16, 2006

Meanwhile, Joe Pesci keeps searching for The Fountain of Yutes
posted by evilgenius at 2:37 PM on August 16, 2006 [2 favorites has favorites]

Master illusionist David Copperfield says he has found the "Fountain of Youth" in the southern Bahamas, amid a cluster of four tiny islands he recently bought for $50 million (26.4 million pounds).

One of his islands in the Exuma chain, Musha Cay, is a private resort that rents for up to $300,000 a week...

Hmm, I think I see where this is going. Apparently his latest trick is to try and make $300k of your money disappear...
posted by clevershark at 2:41 PM on August 16, 2006

"Apparently his latest trick is to try and make $300k of your money disappear..."

Must've worked, 'cause I ain't got $300K.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:51 PM on August 16, 2006

Copperfield levitated my girlfriend once. Seriously.
posted by vronsky at 3:06 PM on August 16, 2006

Did she get pregnant?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:09 PM on August 16, 2006

Copperfield just made what little relevance he ever had dissapear. Truly he is a masturbator master illusionist.
posted by Effigy2000 at 3:35 PM on August 16, 2006

Still waiting for Blaine to discover the insides of a grizzly bear.
posted by Krrrlson at 3:54 PM on August 16, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

I heard there's oil in that fountain. I'm just sayin' is all. Maybe even WMD. Can our army be sent there to blast the shit out of it and find out?
posted by ninjew at 4:03 PM on August 16, 2006

Coincidentally, the elusive Fountain of Truth has vanished.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 4:29 PM on August 16, 2006

I'm always a little sceptical on these scientific discovery/invention posts. Just the other day there was one about an anti-gravity type device! We all need to calm down a little and wait for David to publish in a respected peer reviewed journal. Let other respected illusionists see if they can repeat the effect. Then we might have something to be excited about. OMFG I hope this is for real. I've just super-soaked my pants. Ho-hum off to wipe my bum.
posted by econous at 6:36 PM on August 16, 2006

Well, let's see...he had Claudia Schiffer bound contractually to appear as his fiancée for a set period of time.
And any time engaged to David Copperfield must seem an eternity.
So...the secret of the Fountain of Youth is betrothal to David Copperfield!

And, of course, a very affordable time-share at his resort. Let me show you these glossy full-color brochures at no obligation to you...
posted by the sobsister at 6:43 PM on August 16, 2006

The good news is you get to live forever, the bad news is there is a at least a 50% chance you might have to talk to David Copperfield.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:55 PM on August 16, 2006

Perhaps we can submerge him in the fountain, chained, with David Blaine standing on his shoulders, just to be sure it's the real thing.
posted by eegphalanges at 7:28 PM on August 16, 2006

I went to Copperfield's show when it was here in Ottawa. Gadzooks. It started with what seemed like a 15 minute long video of....David Copperfield. David Copperfield on the Simpsons, David Copperfield in the movies, David Copperfield on shows I've never heard of. David Copperfield on a billboard. It's David Copperfield! A bald dude.
posted by storybored at 7:56 PM on August 16, 2006

I have always wanted to do a stage show that was nothing but the dances of David Copperfield.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:52 PM on August 16, 2006

Meanwhile, Joe Pesci keeps searching for The Fountain of Yutes.

evilgenius wins.
posted by bwg at 2:52 AM on August 17, 2006