Idol.

August 17, 2006 5:19 PM

Jason Toney at Negro Please says, "This is officially the whitest thing I have ever posted." I didn't know what Metal School was, and I still don't know.
posted by cgc373 (54 comments total)

I love Kelly Clarkson.
posted by smackfu at 5:30 PM on August 17, 2006

metal school?
posted by kaytwo at 5:30 PM on August 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

I <3 Kelly Clarkson. 4 reals.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:32 PM on August 17, 2006

1. This video makes me kinda like Kelly Clarkson.
2. You should really click on Kaytwo's Link.
3. Metal School is a great old Spoon song. Otherwise, I have no idea what the hell is happening here.
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 5:39 PM on August 17, 2006

20:37 <@cortex> she's incredibly uncool
20:38 <@cortex> but really likes attention
20:38 <@cortex> and does not know what to do with herself up on stage with
metal dudes
20:38 <@cortex> she keeps being stuck between being embarassed and trying to
act out
20:38 <@veronica> heh
20:38 <@cortex> and she does that clapping and laughing at the same time thing
20:38 <@cortex> like your mom does when she's nervous but trying to play along
with something
20:39 <@veronica> ew
20:39 <@cortex> oh nice
20:39 <@cortex> she's playing air guitar
20:39 <@cortex> and she sucks
20:39 <@cortex> she plays air guitar like your mom would too
20:39 <@veronica> oh man
20:39 <@cortex> she did a pretending to rub her nipples thing
20:39 <@veronica> D:
20:39 <@cortex> and it did not break into sexiness
20:40 <@veronica> like my mom does?
20:40 <@cortex> yes
20:41 <@cortex> pop stage antics do not work at a metal show
20:42 <@cortex> period
20:42 <@duckstab> yeah, pretty funny
20:42 <@duckstab> i thought she did ok tho
20:42 <@duckstab> unless it was planned
20:42 <@duckstab> in which case she sucked
20:42 <@cortex> i am nonplussed
20:42 <@cortex> i would be impressed if she was some random dong 20something
girl
20:43 <@cortex> but this chick has had way too much opportunity to develop a
functional on-the-spot performance skillset
20:43 <@cortex> this is just like fundamental evidence of the difference
between a cookiecutter popstar and a real performer
posted by cortex at 5:47 PM on August 17, 2006

Metal Skool (the "real" spelling) is actually quite well-known 'round these parts (Hollywood) cause it's been going down every Monday night at the Key Club for about the last 2 years (at least, that's when I first started hearing about it).

Sadly, I've never made it b/c I have other obligations on weeknights 'round that time. Now, however, I'm betting it's going to be even more popular and even harder to get into (they apparently sell-out the show on a semi-regular basis).

That having been said - she didn't do too much injustice to "Sweet Child of Mine", if for no other reason than downing the whiskey straight out of the bottle beforehand. That's truly the only way to prepare for such a song.
posted by revmitcz at 5:52 PM on August 17, 2006

Man, that Yellow Card guy can really rock!
posted by billysumday at 5:56 PM on August 17, 2006

That was pretty funny.
posted by delmoi at 5:58 PM on August 17, 2006

She seems like a fun girl, actually. The whiskey surely helped.
posted by zardoz at 6:02 PM on August 17, 2006

Say what you want about American Idol, but she really does have a good singing voice. It is impressive she could get pulled out of a crowed like that and put on that kind of a performance with no warmup, IMO. Not that you could hear her to well most of the time.
posted by delmoi at 6:07 PM on August 17, 2006

Egad... I may have witnessed somethin all spontaneous-like. Well played and damned refreshing in this over-scripted and PR fronted world.
posted by hal9k at 6:21 PM on August 17, 2006

I think if this had been a single-link youtube post it still would have rocked.
posted by geekyguy at 6:26 PM on August 17, 2006

Remind me to never listen to this "Yellow Card" band. Dude was like the worst kind of drunken karaoke.
posted by rxrfrx at 6:28 PM on August 17, 2006

The funniest part of this video is by far the straggling Yellow Card boyfriend who no one really cares for but somehow feels he's indebted the same attention and privileges as his famous girlfriend.
posted by Mach3avelli at 6:28 PM on August 17, 2006

I call a Red Card on that dude. Give up the mic to the girl with the pipes, bro.
posted by jmcmurry at 6:32 PM on August 17, 2006

That Yellow Card guy is lamer than Tiny Tim. That is to say the little god bless us everyone dude, not the one who married Miss Vicky. That other Tiny Tim is like a giant metal penis compared to the Yellow Card dude. Metal dudes used to be able to sing and play their ass off, and then, with the last diminished seventh still ringing in the rafters, ram their huge phalluses into every soft orifice in the stadium. The leathery raptors in the background do their best to make the required noises but they might as well be talking about carpooling and their sciatica, so where are the young men to take up the mantle? To give those poor creaky cocksman a well-earned rest? That Yellow Card dude looks like something that Robert Plant would use to wipe the sweat off his ass before fucking a goat. It's just a shameful state of affairs.
posted by melissa may at 6:37 PM on August 17, 2006 [10 favorites]

I thought this was hilarious. I do think the yellowcard guy was just tagging along just to be there, he prolly should have just given his mic to Kelly. The metal skool guy was trying to move in on his turf though so whatever.
posted by SirOmega at 6:38 PM on August 17, 2006

But seriously, the best part is the Yellowcard kid's face as Kelly Clarkson and the lead singer are belting away together in the same microphone. Awwwwwwk-wwwwwwward.
posted by Mach3avelli at 6:44 PM on August 17, 2006

Thanks melissa may. I needed that rofl.
posted by lekvar at 6:46 PM on August 17, 2006

American Idol is a giant turd, but yeah, Kelly Clarkson seems like she'd be pretty cool if you hung out with her. Well, certainly a lot cooler than I ever imagined. Her records are still crap, though. Then again, I wouldn't like it very much if she dropped by my office and then later critiqued my powerpoint creation skills on the web as bad art. It's shitty pop music, and it appears to sell. Am I going to buy it? Hell no, but I suppose it's good enough for what it is.

Melissa May, are you Lita Ford's sockpuppet?
posted by Hypnic jerk at 6:46 PM on August 17, 2006

Since when do metalheads looks like WWF wrestlers? Or is this soft metal or some shit. Kelly Clarkson is not that attractive. I could not masturbate to orgasm over her.
posted by snoktruix at 6:46 PM on August 17, 2006

I think she'll manage to pick up the pieces and go on, snoktruix. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow...
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:54 PM on August 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

Against my better nature, that was the best ten minutes I've spent in my current craptastic life in the past month. Unadulterated stupid fun. I haven't seen much of that lately.

Thank you, Metafilter.
posted by MarvinTheCat at 6:55 PM on August 17, 2006

And more specifically you, Mr./Ms. cgs373.
posted by MarvinTheCat at 6:56 PM on August 17, 2006

*cgc* urgh
posted by MarvinTheCat at 6:57 PM on August 17, 2006

Hi, melissa may!
posted by interrobang at 6:58 PM on August 17, 2006

Since when do metalheads looks like WWF wrestlers? Or is this soft metal or some shit. Kelly Clarkson is not that attractive. I could not masturbate to orgasm over her.

And you're probably too young to remember Duran Duran.
posted by hal9k at 7:02 PM on August 17, 2006

please pardon my ignorance; i dropped out of pop culture some years back.

is this yellowcard you guys talking about a band or what? and why is kelly clarkson dating that loser? she needs to drop the zero and get with the hero
posted by keswick at 7:02 PM on August 17, 2006

Kelly Clarkson singing the most requested karaoke song ever? yeah, that's pretty white.

Still hilarious though.
posted by wannabehippie at 7:05 PM on August 17, 2006

I remember Wham. They were shit as well. I could probably knock one out to George Michael though, and I'm not even gay.
posted by snoktruix at 7:07 PM on August 17, 2006

keswick, it's pretty funny to drop out of pop culture so much that you've never heard of Yellowcard but still recognize Kelly Clarkson. I am not snarking, though, because I'm in the same boat. But I count myself more as a casualty than a dropout.
posted by cgc373 at 7:18 PM on August 17, 2006

ANNNNND they have a fiddle player!

Or violin. I dunno, it's just what I gleaned from a concert poster I saw. Honest.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:32 PM on August 17, 2006

Two thoughts:
1) "melissa may" can't be her real name -- it must be melissa will
2) Negro Please is a great blog name
posted by rob511 at 7:39 PM on August 17, 2006

I found this highly entertaining, and I'm still trying to figure out why.
posted by Galvatron at 7:47 PM on August 17, 2006

no no
really
sometimes we all just get together
and play
melissa may i
posted by cortex at 8:03 PM on August 17, 2006

I hate 80's hair metal, and I hate American Idol, but somehow, that clip made my day.
posted by lost_cause at 8:16 PM on August 17, 2006

"Dude, be nice to her so we get to fuck her."
posted by Stauf at 8:18 PM on August 17, 2006

I now don't feel so guilty singing alonging to Clarkson's songs when my tween daughter plays them.

yellowcard on the other sucks donkey balls.
posted by photoslob at 8:19 PM on August 17, 2006

That Yellow Card dude looks like something that Robert Plant would use to wipe the sweat off his ass before fucking a goat. It's just a shameful state of affairs.

In the words of someone much smarter than myself, fuck yeah.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:21 PM on August 17, 2006

Those metal dudes seemd like astounding dicks. Hey, 40-year-old -- doing hair metal and wailing away to hard rock melodies from 20 years ago doesn't make you cool; it makes you a loser.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:42 PM on August 17, 2006

If metal dude actually makes a living playing 20 year old covers, and genuinely enjoys it, metal dude is doing just fine.
posted by cortex at 8:44 PM on August 17, 2006

Apparently none of you have heard Since U Been Gone.
posted by cillit bang at 8:51 PM on August 17, 2006

Wow. As of this post, I am now a bit of a Kelly Clarkson fan. Good stuff.
posted by vaportrail at 8:51 PM on August 17, 2006

Astro Zombie: I think you're missing the point of the show.
posted by Justinian at 9:15 PM on August 17, 2006

folks, that was rock and roll ... not great rock and roll, but decent enough

she's cute and for someone who had just been wheedled into doing this, she showed a good ear for harmony and a very good voice

i realize that it's not as meaningful as people moaning tunelessly about their heroin habits, their nihilistic fantasies and favorite trash culture references while a band plays as uncommercially and dissonently as their anti-art attitudes and lack of musical talent will allow them to, but then "tutti-frutti" and "louie, louie" weren't all that meaningful either
posted by pyramid termite at 9:24 PM on August 17, 2006

i realize that it's not as meaningful as people moaning tunelessly about their heroin habits, their nihilistic fantasies and favorite trash culture references while a band plays as uncommercially and dissonently as their anti-art attitudes and lack of musical talent will allow them to

Which, when you get right down to it, is the only possible alternative to a literally manufactured pop culture entity like Kelly Clarkson^®.

Look, I'm not anti-fun, I'm not anti-pop, I write my fair share of stupid catchy bullshit because I actually enjoy all goddam stripes of music. But setting aside however much fun Kelly Clarkson, Human Female might be at a party, Kelly Clarkson, Intellectual Property has been very much on display for years now, and the results are a big part of what's visible in the above video. It's kind of chafing that that is winning the hearts and minds when there's better and more honest bubblegum pop to be found.
posted by cortex at 9:56 PM on August 17, 2006

Which, when you get right down to it, is the only possible alternative to a literally manufactured pop culture entity like Kelly Clarkson®.

well, there was the progressive rock era ... which had good and bad things about it

to put my point another way, i think it's pointless to rebel against or resist manufactured pop or rock, because it's just another way of letting oneself be defined by it

best just to do what one wants and not worry about it
posted by pyramid termite at 10:03 PM on August 17, 2006

Oh, sure. I'm not rebelling against post-American-Idol pop arcs, I'm just goddam unimpressed.
posted by cortex at 10:26 PM on August 17, 2006

Haha, I was there! I've seen Metal Skool do this to Ryan Cabrera too.
posted by samh23 at 11:41 PM on August 17, 2006

I thought Kelly Clarkson rocked. She sung amazingly well under the circumstances, seemed thoroughly a professional entertainer while being spontaeous, charmingly friendly, unpretentious and fun.

The lead singer for Yellowcard is Ryan Key.
posted by nickyskye at 12:13 AM on August 18, 2006

Metafilter: Something that Robert Plant would use to wipe the sweat off his ass before fucking a goat.
posted by jonp72 at 7:13 AM on August 18, 2006

I'll say this: at least she knew the original and not the Sheryl Crow version.
posted by Hypnic jerk at 5:11 PM on August 18, 2006

She was good! I don't get it cortex.

In the words of someone much smarter than myself, fuck yeah.

Fuck yeah!
posted by ludwig_van at 11:48 PM on August 18, 2006

I think it's safe to presume I'm just being a grumpus. Again, if I was looking at her as a random 20-something chick at a show, she'd have been a really good sport and a great singer.

In person I probably would have been goddam amused. But internet criticism is a harsh mode of conduct, and the complex commercial drapery in which Miss Clarkson is shrouded (banner ads to win her SUV? WTF?) distracts me.
posted by cortex at 7:48 AM on August 19, 2006