Comments on: Idol.

Idol.

cgc373 — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:19:40 -0800

Jason Toney at Negro Please says, "This is officially the whitest thing I have ever posted." I didn't know what Metal School was, and I still don't know.

By: smackfu

smackfu — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:30:30 -0800

I love Kelly Clarkson.

By: kaytwo

kaytwo — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:30:57 -0800

metal school?

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:32:32 -0800

I <3 Kelly Clarkson. 4 reals.

By: dougunderscorenelso

dougunderscorenelso — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:39:10 -0800

1. This video makes me kinda like Kelly Clarkson. 2. You should really click on Kaytwo's Link. 3. Metal School is a great old Spoon song. Otherwise, I have no idea what the hell is happening here.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:47:02 -0800

20:37 <@cortex> she's incredibly uncool 20:38 <@cortex> but really likes attention 20:38 <@cortex> and does not know what to do with herself up on stage with metal dudes 20:38 <@cortex> she keeps being stuck between being embarassed and trying to act out 20:38 <@veronica> heh 20:38 <@cortex> and she does that clapping and laughing at the same time thing 20:38 <@cortex> like your mom does when she's nervous but trying to play along with something 20:39 <@veronica> ew 20:39 <@cortex> oh nice 20:39 <@cortex> she's playing air guitar 20:39 <@cortex> and she sucks 20:39 <@cortex> she plays air guitar like your mom would too 20:39 <@veronica> oh man 20:39 <@cortex> she did a pretending to rub her nipples thing 20:39 <@veronica> D: 20:39 <@cortex> and it did not break into sexiness 20:40 <@veronica> like my mom does? 20:40 <@cortex> yes 20:41 <@cortex> pop stage antics do not work at a metal show 20:42 <@cortex> period 20:42 <@duckstab> yeah, pretty funny 20:42 <@duckstab> i thought she did ok tho 20:42 <@duckstab> unless it was planned 20:42 <@duckstab> in which case she sucked 20:42 <@cortex> i am nonplussed 20:42 <@cortex> i would be impressed if she was some random dong 20something girl 20:43 <@cortex> but this chick has had way too much opportunity to develop a functional on-the-spot performance skillset 20:43 <@cortex> this is just like fundamental evidence of the difference between a cookiecutter popstar and a real performer

By: revmitcz

revmitcz — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:52:48 -0800

Metal Skool (the "real" spelling) is actually quite well-known 'round these parts (Hollywood) cause it's been going down every Monday night at the Key Club for about the last 2 years (at least, that's when I first started hearing about it). Sadly, I've never made it b/c I have other obligations on weeknights 'round that time. Now, however, I'm betting it's going to be even more popular and even harder to get into (they apparently sell-out the show on a semi-regular basis). That having been said - she didn't do too much injustice to "Sweet Child of Mine", if for no other reason than downing the whiskey straight out of the bottle beforehand. That's truly the only way to prepare for such a song.

By: billysumday

billysumday — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:56:02 -0800

Man, that Yellow Card guy can really rock!

By: delmoi

delmoi — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:58:51 -0800

That was pretty funny.

By: zardoz

zardoz — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:02:12 -0800

She seems like a fun girl, actually. The whiskey surely helped.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:07:00 -0800

Say what you want about American Idol, but she really does have a good singing voice. It is impressive she could get pulled out of a crowed like that and put on that kind of a performance with no warmup, IMO. Not that you could hear her to well most of the time.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:21:45 -0800

Egad... I may have witnessed somethin all spontaneous-like. Well played and damned refreshing in this over-scripted and PR fronted world.

By: geekyguy

geekyguy — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:26:09 -0800

I think if this had been a single-link youtube post it still would have rocked.

By: rxrfrx

rxrfrx — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:28:12 -0800

Remind me to never listen to this "Yellow Card" band. Dude was like the worst kind of drunken karaoke.

By: Mach3avelli

Mach3avelli — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:28:31 -0800

The funniest part of this video is by far the straggling Yellow Card boyfriend who no one really cares for but somehow feels he's indebted the same attention and privileges as his famous girlfriend.

By: jmcmurry

jmcmurry — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:32:02 -0800

I call a Red Card on that dude. Give up the mic to the girl with the pipes, bro.

By: melissa may

melissa may — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:37:24 -0800

That Yellow Card guy is lamer than Tiny Tim. That is to say the little god bless us everyone dude, not the one who married Miss Vicky. That other Tiny Tim is like a giant metal penis compared to the Yellow Card dude. Metal dudes used to be able to sing and play their ass off, and then, with the last diminished seventh still ringing in the rafters, ram their huge phalluses into every soft orifice in the stadium. The leathery raptors in the background do their best to make the required noises but they might as well be talking about carpooling and their sciatica, so where are the young men to take up the mantle? To give those poor creaky cocksman a well-earned rest? That Yellow Card dude looks like something that Robert Plant would use to wipe the sweat off his ass before fucking a goat. It's just a shameful state of affairs.

By: SirOmega

SirOmega — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:38:11 -0800

I thought this was hilarious. I do think the yellowcard guy was just tagging along just to be there, he prolly should have just given his mic to Kelly. The metal skool guy was trying to move in on his turf though so whatever.

By: Mach3avelli

Mach3avelli — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:44:18 -0800

But seriously, the best part is the Yellowcard kid's face as Kelly Clarkson and the lead singer are belting away together in the same microphone. Awwwwwwk-wwwwwwward.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:46:05 -0800

Thanks melissa may. I needed that rofl.

By: Hypnic jerk

Hypnic jerk — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:46:19 -0800

American Idol is a giant turd, but yeah, Kelly Clarkson seems like she'd be pretty cool if you hung out with her. Well, certainly a lot cooler than I ever imagined. Her records are still crap, though. Then again, I wouldn't like it very much if she dropped by my office and then later critiqued my powerpoint creation skills on the web as bad art. It's shitty pop music, and it appears to sell. Am I going to buy it? Hell no, but I suppose it's good enough for what it is. Melissa May, are you Lita Ford's sockpuppet?

By: snoktruix

snoktruix — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:46:48 -0800

Since when do metalheads looks like WWF wrestlers? Or is this soft metal or some shit. Kelly Clarkson is not that attractive. I could not masturbate to orgasm over her.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:54:41 -0800

I think she'll manage to pick up the pieces and go on, snoktruix. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow...

By: MarvinTheCat

MarvinTheCat — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:55:36 -0800

Against my better nature, that was the best ten minutes I've spent in my current craptastic life in the past month. Unadulterated stupid fun. I haven't seen much of that lately. Thank you, Metafilter.

By: MarvinTheCat

MarvinTheCat — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:56:37 -0800

And more specifically you, Mr./Ms. cgs373.

By: MarvinTheCat

MarvinTheCat — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:57:30 -0800

*cgc* urgh

By: interrobang

interrobang — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:58:32 -0800

Hi, melissa may!

By: hal9k

hal9k — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 19:02:19 -0800

Since when do metalheads looks like WWF wrestlers? Or is this soft metal or some shit. Kelly Clarkson is not that attractive. I could not masturbate to orgasm over her. And you're probably too young to remember Duran Duran.

By: keswick

keswick — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 19:02:39 -0800

please pardon my ignorance; i dropped out of pop culture some years back. is this yellowcard you guys talking about a band or what? and why is kelly clarkson dating that loser? she needs to drop the zero and get with the hero

By: wannabehippie

wannabehippie — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 19:05:51 -0800

Kelly Clarkson singing the most requested karaoke song ever? yeah, that's pretty white. Still hilarious though.

By: snoktruix

snoktruix — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 19:07:17 -0800

I remember Wham. They were shit as well. I could probably knock one out to George Michael though, and I'm not even gay.

By: cgc373

cgc373 — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 19:18:23 -0800

keswick, it's pretty funny to drop out of pop culture so much that you've never heard of Yellowcard but still recognize Kelly Clarkson. I am not snarking, though, because I'm in the same boat. But I count myself more as a casualty than a dropout.

By: liquorice

liquorice — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 19:28:00 -0800

Yellowcard is a pop-punk band along the likes of Blink 182, Sum 41 and other bands that put random numbers in their name. At last count they had one half decent song and that's only if you're a pre-teen who likes to wear pointy belts. They've probably been background music for the hip rich kids of The O.C but they've never had any semblance of cool. They're more like the "blah" in "blaaaaah turn this fucking shit off!". I did cringe for the dude a bit too, though. Who wouldn't get weird if some 50 year old motherfucker with ragtails for hair was making a move on your million dollar princess?

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 19:32:15 -0800

ANNNNND they have a fiddle player! Or violin. I dunno, it's just what I gleaned from a concert poster I saw. Honest.

By: rob511

rob511 — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 19:39:18 -0800

Two thoughts: 1) "melissa may" can't be her real name -- it must be melissa will 2) Negro Please is a great blog name

By: Galvatron

Galvatron — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 19:47:03 -0800

I found this highly entertaining, and I'm still trying to figure out why.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:03:13 -0800

no no really sometimes we all just get together and play melissa may i

By: lost_cause

lost_cause — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:16:58 -0800

I hate 80's hair metal, and I hate American Idol, but somehow, that clip made my day.

By: Stauf

Stauf — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:18:22 -0800

"Dude, be nice to her so we get to fuck her."

By: photoslob

photoslob — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:19:26 -0800

I now don't feel so guilty singing alonging to Clarkson's songs when my tween daughter plays them. yellowcard on the other sucks donkey balls.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:21:37 -0800

That Yellow Card dude looks like something that Robert Plant would use to wipe the sweat off his ass before fucking a goat. It's just a shameful state of affairs. In the words of someone much smarter than myself, fuck yeah.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:42:48 -0800

Those metal dudes seemd like astounding dicks. Hey, 40-year-old -- doing hair metal and wailing away to hard rock melodies from 20 years ago doesn't make you cool; it makes you a loser.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:44:00 -0800

If metal dude actually makes a living playing 20 year old covers, and genuinely enjoys it, metal dude is doing just fine.

By: cillit bang

cillit bang — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:51:27 -0800

Apparently none of you have heard Since U Been Gone.

By: vaportrail

vaportrail — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:51:47 -0800

Wow. As of this post, I am now a bit of a Kelly Clarkson fan. Good stuff.

By: Justinian

Justinian — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 21:15:49 -0800

Astro Zombie: I think you're missing the point of the show.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 21:24:03 -0800

folks, that was rock and roll ... not great rock and roll, but decent enough she's cute and for someone who had just been wheedled into doing this, she showed a good ear for harmony and a very good voice i realize that it's not as meaningful as people moaning tunelessly about their heroin habits, their nihilistic fantasies and favorite trash culture references while a band plays as uncommercially and dissonently as their anti-art attitudes and lack of musical talent will allow them to, but then "tutti-frutti" and "louie, louie" weren't all that meaningful either

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 21:56:43 -0800

i realize that it's not as meaningful as people moaning tunelessly about their heroin habits, their nihilistic fantasies and favorite trash culture references while a band plays as uncommercially and dissonently as their anti-art attitudes and lack of musical talent will allow them to Which, when you get right down to it, is the only possible alternative to a literally manufactured pop culture entity like Kelly Clarkson^®. Look, I'm not anti-fun, I'm not anti-pop, I write my fair share of stupid catchy bullshit because I actually enjoy all goddam stripes of music. But setting aside however much fun Kelly Clarkson, Human Female might be at a party, Kelly Clarkson, Intellectual Property has been very much on display for years now, and the results are a big part of what's visible in the above video. It's kind of chafing that that is winning the hearts and minds when there's better and more honest bubblegum pop to be found.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:03:43 -0800

Which, when you get right down to it, is the only possible alternative to a literally manufactured pop culture entity like Kelly Clarkson®. well, there was the progressive rock era ... which had good and bad things about it to put my point another way, i think it's pointless to rebel against or resist manufactured pop or rock, because it's just another way of letting oneself be defined by it best just to do what one wants and not worry about it

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:26:40 -0800

Oh, sure. I'm not rebelling against post-American-Idol pop arcs, I'm just goddam unimpressed.

By: samh23

samh23 — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 23:41:01 -0800

Haha, I was there! I've seen Metal Skool do this to Ryan Cabrera too.

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 00:13:19 -0800

I thought Kelly Clarkson rocked. She sung amazingly well under the circumstances, seemed thoroughly a professional entertainer while being spontaeous, charmingly friendly, unpretentious and fun. The lead singer for Yellowcard is Ryan Key.

By: jonp72

jonp72 — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 07:13:26 -0800

Metafilter: Something that Robert Plant would use to wipe the sweat off his ass before fucking a goat.

By: Hypnic jerk

Hypnic jerk — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 17:11:52 -0800

I'll say this: at least she knew the original and not the Sheryl Crow version.

By: ludwig_van

ludwig_van — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 23:48:51 -0800

She was good! I don't get it cortex. In the words of someone much smarter than myself, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah!

By: cortex

cortex — Sat, 19 Aug 2006 07:48:32 -0800

I think it's safe to presume I'm just being a grumpus. Again, if I was looking at her as a random 20-something chick at a show, she'd have been a really good sport and a great singer. In person I probably would have been goddam amused. But internet criticism is a harsh mode of conduct, and the complex commercial drapery in which Miss Clarkson is shrouded (banner ads to win her SUV? WTF?) distracts me.