Comments on: Run run run run run run run away

Run run run run run run run away

_sirmissalot_ — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:20:16 -0800

"Psycho killer raccoons terrorize Olympia." What else is there to say, really.

By: _sirmissalot_

_sirmissalot_ — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:24:56 -0800

More here. And here.

By: CharlesV42

CharlesV42 — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:25:18 -0800

All i can think of is: fa fa fa fa, fa fa fa fa, fa, fa

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:26:06 -0800

I would run run run run run run away.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:26:35 -0800

But I'd run away from someone wearing a racoon skin coat.

By: stenseng

stenseng — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:27:14 -0800

This is WEIRD! I live in Olympia, and just got back from a walk with my dog, and saw a twisted, contorted dead raccoon in someone's yard. I THINK THE C.H.U.D.s are behind all this...

By: The Deej

The Deej — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:27:51 -0800

Qu'est-ce que c'est?

By: chococat

chococat — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:29:21 -0800

"They're urban raccoons, and they're not afraid."

By: _sirmissalot_

_sirmissalot_ — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:29:36 -0800

You people have made two Talking Heads references that I already cleverly dropped in the title and tags. Get the fuck with the program.

By: _sirmissalot_

_sirmissalot_ — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:30:06 -0800

And get these mutherfuckin' racoons off my motherfuckin' lawn.

By: mano

mano — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:38:04 -0800

These motherfuckers got nothing on Morgan.

By: Iridic

Iridic — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:38:58 -0800

T-Rex must live in Olympia.

By: Kloryne

Kloryne — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:40:38 -0800

I'd like to see them trying their raccoon nonsense with Lewis

By: Bageena

Bageena — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:49:57 -0800

Raccoons shouldn't be friendly Raccoons shouldn't play Raccoons should be sleeping even if it's a really nice day... So next time you see a raccoon that's having fun playing with human babies it's not a new improved model it's a raccoon with rabies... - Chris Crofton

By: NeoSpud

NeoSpud — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:53:42 -0800

Kudos to CharlesV42. You beat me to that reference. Bravo! Two nights ago I was on my back porch smoking a cig and a raccoon the size of a lab walked up to me. I thought it was my neighbor's dog, but no, it was the largest raccoon I've ever seen. I didn't even know they could grow that large. Amazing.

By: rob511

rob511 — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:55:26 -0800

Huh, perfect criminals: If they're all masked, vics can't pick them out of a lineup. Maybe Jonny Quest can spare Bandit for undercover work?

By: hobocode

hobocode — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:57:00 -0800

Elephant Bangs Train.

By: stenseng

stenseng — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:57:53 -0800

YOU KNOW THE ANIMALS, THEY'RE LAUGHING AT US! THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A JOKE IS!!!

By: ottereroticist

ottereroticist — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:58:48 -0800

They say they don't need money They're living on cats and puppies They say raccoons don't worry You know raccoons are hairy? They think they know what's best They're making a fool of us They ought to be more careful They're setting a bad example

By: danb

danb — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:00:30 -0800

You've got to run like an antelope out of control.

By: anjamu

anjamu — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:06:59 -0800

We were just driving home and I saw something out of the corner of my eye that I thought was a cat hesitating to cross the street in front of us. But no, it was actually a massive raccoon which proceeded to squeeze itself through an opening and into the sewer. On the other hand, raccoons have nothing on (o)possums as far as disgusting goes.

By: jamesonandwater

jamesonandwater — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:11:46 -0800

I just bought a house, and walked out of the new place one night to find a big, fat raccoon sitting on the seat of my bike. It looked at me as if to say "who the hell are you and what do you want?" Probably wouldn't faze you lot, but being from Dubbillin via Queens, I'd never actually seen a raccoon before. I really couldn't have been more amazed (and terrified) if there was a chimpanzee sitting on the bike. Anyway, since that happened I seem to be seeing raccoon stories everywhere. This one will prevent me sleeping tonight.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:12:34 -0800

and nobody's come up with this alternate reference... Rocky raccoon checked into his room Only to find Gideon's bible Rocky had come equipped with a gun To shoot off the legs of his rival

By: MonkNoiz

MonkNoiz — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:21:23 -0800

There are C.H.U.D.s in Olympia?

By: mk1gti

mk1gti — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:22:35 -0800

We used to have raccoons in our neighborhood when there was an abandoned lot below the hillside. They are very punctual animals and I used to call one the 7:20 raccoon and the other one the 8:40 raccoon because that's the time they would walk in between my house and a neighbors. One night I was on the phone talking to a friend about some constellations overhead when I felt I was being watched. I looked over and down and a raccoon was standing next to me looking up at the stars, apparently trying to figure out what I was looking at. He then turned his head, looked at me then dropped off on all fours and loped away. There's a really good book about raccoons called 'The Natural History of Raccoons'. if anyone's interested. Did you know they have penis bones? and forked penises? Fascinating. Settlers apparently used to use them for toothpicks, even had cases for them. . . 'Woman, where's my penis-bone toothpick?'

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:23:22 -0800

Coming Soon: Die Hard XIV: Attack of the Killer Raccoons Run, Bruce, Run! Too late! It's already scalped him! or... Bruce Willis was quoted saying "Demi's got Ashton, I've got this..."

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:26:15 -0800

You know, the little creatures in nature, they don't know that they're ugly.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:26:39 -0800

If you think a raccoon crawling into a sewer is disgusting, think how the raccoon must feel. It isn't his sewer, and he wouldn't travel that way if he had a choice. And I'm sure I'll get a lot of grief for this, but it's the cats that are the invasive species, not the raccoons.

By: marxchivist

marxchivist — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:28:03 -0800

It is the little masks they wear, they think they can get away with anything.

By: mk1gti

mk1gti — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:28:57 -0800

NeoSpud, do you by chance live in the midwest? I know they tend to get rather large out there. . . .

By: owhydididoit

owhydididoit — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:29:23 -0800

Hey, it could be worse.

By: Kloryne

Kloryne — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:29:40 -0800

Nice one, Citizen Premier...

By: owhydididoit

owhydididoit — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:31:34 -0800

George_Spiggot: you mean, it's the humans.

By: anjamu

anjamu — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:33:17 -0800

George_Spiggott, there may be a lot of people who are sensitive about things cat-related, but I can cheerfully assure you that I am not one of them. So I'm kind of curious if you could elaborate on your above statement ... ?

By: mk1gti

mk1gti — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:35:00 -0800

Omigod! Omigod! They're totally eating this poor woman alive!!! *Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhh*

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:35:38 -0800

owhydididoit: yes and no. Humans have been on this continent for thousands of years (though admittedly the current crop is a recent arrival and doesn't exactly live in harmony with nature), but domesticated cats (and their feral descendents) are introduced. Among other things, cats are responsible for wiping out native bird populations in all 50 states.

By: mk1gti

mk1gti — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:36:21 -0800

And their demon eyes. . . .

By: owhydididoit

owhydididoit — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 20:09:27 -0800

good point. spay/neuter your pets, and if you allow your cat outdoors, fit it with a bell.

By: Tenuki

Tenuki — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 20:22:28 -0800

First psycho killer raccoons and now Kung-Fu Bears

By: taocow

taocow — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 20:27:15 -0800

it's about damned time we woke up to the raccoon menace. been speaking out about it for years. now if someone would just take a good hard look at the possums, we'd start making some real headway.

By: Vervain

Vervain — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 21:20:42 -0800

Well, if the ol' hometown had to show up on MeFi, I guess killer raccoons aren't a bad way to do it. But then, we grow 'em big here.

By: mosk

mosk — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 21:34:30 -0800

I was visiting a friend once that lived near Eddy and Hyde in San Francisco -- pretty tough neighborhood. From his balcony, we heard a big commotion outside near where the car was parked. Shined a light down there and saw the BIGGEST motherfuckin' raccoon I've ever seen, digging through the trash. I don't know how badass a raccoon has to be to survive in San Francisco's Tenderloin, but this raccoon was clearly on its way to rob a liquor store or carjack someone. Bottom line: urban raccoons OWN the night.

By: Aquaman

Aquaman — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 21:34:53 -0800

Elephant Bangs Train Not quite sure what the connection here is, hobocode, but I just can't pass up the opportunity to plug the: Best Short Story Ever!

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 22:37:54 -0800

nature is just going berserk lately.

By: stenseng

stenseng — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 23:08:09 -0800

"There are C.H.U.D.s in Olympia?" Yeah, they live in the steam tunnels under Evergreen. I think they feed on hippy freshmen.

By: jacob hauser

jacob hauser — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 00:15:56 -0800

My brother has this huge farkin dog and for 10 bucks and hour he will eat racoons... 1-800-eat-farging-trash-throwing-bastards for more details

By: qvantamon

qvantamon — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 00:31:01 -0800

I say burn their home woods, and starve them to death. Or better, I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. Damn zombifying agents. May I remind you of the last time raccoons took over a city? We must act before it's too late.

By: ryanrs

ryanrs — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 01:04:52 -0800

I've had a raccoon steal a full garbage can once. The raccoon was unable to remove the lid since it was tied down with bungee cords. Undaunted, the raccoon dragged the very heavy garbage can halfway around the house before it was disuaded with a pot of water.

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 02:22:47 -0800

Cool link, madamjujujive. I knew global warming was going to produce killer insects.

By: blackberet

blackberet — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 04:42:27 -0800

My cat has a bell, but he still manages to snag a bird every week or so. You gotta figure that at that point, the cat jingling and jangling with every movement he makes, it's simply natural selection at work when he manages to take something down.

By: tgyg

tgyg — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 05:32:25 -0800

When I lived out in the country (CO) I fed dogfood to numerous raccoons and their brood at my backdoor, nightly. They would munch and watch my cats waltz in and out not six feet away, without incident.

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:27:32 -0800

Oh man, there were a whole bunch of raccoons hanging around outside my house last night! I was like, "Aaaaaahhhh!"

By: safetyfork

safetyfork — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 08:12:53 -0800

I'll vouch for the CHUD in the tunnels under Evergreen, I've been in those tunnels. Yikes.

By: blasdelf

blasdelf — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 14:55:34 -0800

There are definitely a lot of very friendly raccoons at Evergreen – They'll scamper up to you to beg for food adorably, pawing at the air in front of you with their leathery little hands.

By: monopas

monopas — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 23:50:12 -0800

During my first year at Evergreen, I lived in a six-bedroom dormpartment on the bottom floor. One night when we had the windows open in the living area (an extremely "safe" 12 inches from ground), one of those wily raccoons nearly got itself invited in by my silly roommates. Five 20 year old girls going "Awww!" are hard to snap back into sense, even by loudly shrieking "RABIES!" and "Dirty, garbage eaters!"

By: blasdelf

blasdelf — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 08:19:49 -0800