Satan still goes for straight Debian

August 26, 2006 10:54 PM

Jesus would run Ubuntu So all I have to do is take a copy of Ubuntu, add in a couple apps, and I too can start peddling mugs, tshirts, ballcaps, etc. using their trademarks? I guess so. I must be getting too used to Apple putting the smack-down on everyone lately, or something...
posted by jimjam (32 comments total)

What's up with this flavor of the year of Linux distros? First Slackware, then red hat, then debian, then gentoo, then ubunto? How is anyone supposed to keep up?
posted by delmoi at 11:02 PM on August 26, 2006

OK.


Anyone has to admit that this is just plain silly
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 11:03 PM on August 26, 2006

I don't get the title. Ubuntu is Debian-based.

Maybe you meant BSD?
posted by patr1ck at 11:03 PM on August 26, 2006

nope, last i heard lucifer was running plain old debian. probably etch beta 3.
posted by jimjam at 11:07 PM on August 26, 2006

C'mon. Satan HAS to run HPUX, and the bastard codes in Cobol.

I love Ubuntu, it's been my full-time desktop distro for a few versions now.
posted by Kickstart70 at 11:18 PM on August 26, 2006

Obligatory link to Jesux.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:26 PM on August 26, 2006

I too can start peddling mugs, tshirts, ballcaps, etc. using their trademarks? I guess so.

Do you have a point?

2.0.36 linux kernel has code taken from FreeBSD where the 'authors' admit they took the file from FreeBSD and removed the FreeBSD copyright and put their names on it and placed it under the GPL.
The ATA code had issues over the source code.
The G4U gent says some wanker took his code, put his name on it, then put it on top of a linux kernel.

If you want to claim some kind of 'moral purity', that won't fly.

If you have an outrage over someone violating terms associated with linux, why no outrage when Virgin released the Virgin Webplayer?
posted by rough ashlar at 11:41 PM on August 26, 2006

"Jesus would run Ubuntu"

Just use your own keyboard, J-man, seriously.
posted by damn dirty ape at 11:46 PM on August 26, 2006

I just threw up in my mouth a little.
posted by howa2396 at 11:47 PM on August 26, 2006

The all-permeating WWJD(o) campaign just asks people to think critically and act compassionately, of course many people don't reach those conclusions necessarily, but that's beside the point.

WWJD(ownload) has a foregone conclusion, this is what jesus would download.

I'm not christian, I don't even remotely believe the guy was any more god than the rest of us, but doesn't this mean the people who made this are certainly going to hell? (By their own code.)
posted by Matt Oneiros at 11:59 PM on August 26, 2006

What makes Jesux Different:

Login screen has full text to Lord's Prayer and Pledge of Allegiance, with Christian and American symbols
* Provide alternate screens for non-Americans, perhaps

# Online Bible in King James Version
* no other versions will be provided by default; we feel the KJV is the only English version that can be fully trusted

# Addition of /usr/dict/kjv.words (exhaustive)

Awesome.
posted by Jimbob at 12:06 AM on August 27, 2006

Jesus lived an almost perfectlyascetic life. No way he'd go for a plushy dist like Ubuntu. He'd be LFS all the way.

And command line only -- haven't you heard of the miracle of the loaves and /bin/sh's?
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:07 AM on August 27, 2006

Everyone knows Satan runs SCO's "solution". Otherwise, nothing makes sense.
posted by tommasz at 5:43 AM on August 27, 2006

So all I have to do is take a copy of Ubuntu, add in a couple apps, and I too can start peddling mugs, tshirts, ballcaps, etc. using their trademarks? I guess so.

Not exactly, Canonical does want you to ask first.
posted by cmonkey at 7:35 AM on August 27, 2006

He is a cool guy, so I bet he uses Mac Os X.
posted by darkripper at 7:36 AM on August 27, 2006

Actually it would appear that Satan's acolytes would like to worship in the church of Apple, although Apple aren't too keen on it.
posted by Luddite at 8:34 AM on August 27, 2006

Magenta type on black background. I know the Church of Satan is into Evil, and all, but do they have to be *that* evil?
posted by Slithy_Tove at 8:42 AM on August 27, 2006

Yeah, right. Like the Son of God, in all His omnipotence, needs a computer to surf the Internet or keep records.

A bunch of priests needing technology to keep track of the Divine's namesakes is one thing. But Christ needing needing an OS is like the Four Horsemen needing to stay in the pedestrian lane while travelling.
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:54 AM on August 27, 2006

Linux Jihad is destroying our business.
posted by furtive at 8:58 AM on August 27, 2006

Obligatory link to Jesux.

What is different about Jesux?

chmod(1) accepts hexadecimal modes, such as 0x01B6


Oh come the fuck on. I guess the motivation here is to allow people to avoid typing chmod 666 *?

posted by odinsdream at 9:24 AM on August 27, 2006

Jimbob, you missed the 'best' feature of Jesux:

qmail replaces sendmail as the standard MTA (sendmail was written by a prominent homosexual).

Oh no! The email is gay! Run! But seriously, is the site a joke? I'm finding it hard to tell.
posted by chorltonmeateater at 9:30 AM on August 27, 2006

I am too, chorltonmeateater; I mean just look at the end of the page:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Phillipians 4:8) As such, this site is conformant to HTML 4.0 strict and CSS1.

The Bible as Style Guide?
posted by odinsdream at 9:40 AM on August 27, 2006

2.0.36 linux kernel has code taken from FreeBSD where the 'authors' admit they took the file from FreeBSD and removed the FreeBSD copyright and put their names on it and placed it under the GPL.

You have a cite for this?
posted by Kickstart70 at 10:01 AM on August 27, 2006

Apparently Christ, nor The Anti-, take PC gaming very seriously....
posted by vegetarian at 10:52 AM on August 27, 2006

posted by vegetarian at 11:05 AM on August 27, 2006

Apparently neither.....
posted by vegetarian at 11:05 AM on August 27, 2006

...we feel the KJV is the only English version that can be fully trusted...

Indeed; out of all the religious texts, the King James Bible is the only one I'd have no qualms about leaving alone with my ladyfriend.

Yeah, I'm glaring at you, Bhagavad Gita! You gotta lot of nerve showing your preface 'round here after what you tried to do!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:05 AM on August 27, 2006 [1 favorite]

Wow, that's silly.

...

(I think they should've called it Krubuntu.)
posted by jiawen at 11:49 AM on August 27, 2006

> I just threw up in my mouth a little.

OS wars have always been religious. This is right in line.
posted by jfuller at 12:47 PM on August 27, 2006

Freely you have received, freely give (Matth 10:8)

I think it's awesome to take that Biblical quote as an exhortation to use open source software.

Go Ichthux! What other linux distribution claims "improved default settings for a better Christian experience of the computer desktop" as a feature?

That is so metal.
posted by illovich at 6:11 PM on August 27, 2006

Protecting Networks with SATAN
posted by Satapher at 10:46 PM on August 27, 2006

No, patr1ck, you don't get the title. Satan's not a simpleton like Jesus – he uses more than Firefox & GAIM, he doesn't read crappy shallow tutorials on Digg, he abhors shitty feel-good marketing that panders to morons who will only ever want to do things the way their good god intended.

This 'distro' for Christian Ubuntards isn't so different, it even has a KDE-centric fork project. Because god knows, to use a different desktop environment – that makes it a whole 'nother operating system!
posted by blasdelf at 12:28 AM on August 28, 2006