Shit, I thought that was just common knowledge. There's only two reasons a cow exists -- to eat grass, and to kill you. posted by Astro Zombie at 11:58 AM on August 29, 2006 [2 favorites]
That cow looks pretty, you know, mad. posted by spacewrench at 11:59 AM on August 29, 2006
Gruezi to all my Swiss-German homies rep'in Z-town. posted by bardic at 12:00 PM on August 29, 2006
Shit, I thought that was just common knowledge. There's only two reasons a cow exists -- to eat grass, and to kill you.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:58 PM CST on August 29 [+] [!]
Neophyte. You forgot to tip over whilst they sleep and to burn down urban centers by kicking over lanterns. posted by Ynoxas at 12:01 PM on August 29, 2006
Especially if they're laughing, b_b. That victory laugh comes when they know they have you cornered. posted by beaucoupkevin at 12:12 PM on August 29, 2006
Is it OK to hug cows of other nationalities? posted by Cranberry at 12:13 PM on August 29, 2006
If you're desperate to play with Swiss cows, rent one. posted by zennie at 12:14 PM on August 29, 2006
So much for those "happy cow" commercials... posted by thouy1976 at 12:17 PM on August 29, 2006
Cows are the new bears. posted by maryh at 12:17 PM on August 29, 2006
I'm telling you, they'll cut you quick as look as you. They'll kill you six ways to Sunday. posted by Astro Zombie at 12:17 PM on August 29, 2006
Based on the pdf, it appears the real problem is that some hikers are bringing two separate wives with them out onto the trails - one with a pony tail, one with short hair. Perhaps swiss cows are simply hyper-sensitive to bigamy, and are fed up with it? posted by yhbc at 12:19 PM on August 29, 2006
"Given the chance, that cow would eat you and everyone you care about!" -Troy McClure, whom you might remember from such nature films as 'Earwigs: Ewwww' and 'Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory'. posted by clevershark at 12:35 PM on August 29, 2006
"But dogs attract cow trouble, he warned."
That's the best sentence I've ever read. posted by jefbla at 12:37 PM on August 29, 2006
Cow: *ruminate*
Tourist: Hey, a cow! I THINK I'LL YELL REALLY LOUDLY TO MAKE IT LOOK!
Cow: wtf?
Tourist: Aw, it's moving away every time we get closer. Let's sneak up behind it!
Cow: *ruminate*
Tourist: Yes! We're right behind it! Let's pet it!
Cow: *COW-KICK!*
Tourist: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Problematic Scenario 2:
Cow: *ruminate*
Tourist: Hey, a cow and a calf on my path! But the cow has horns! It's a BULL! DANGER! DANGER!
Cow: wtf?
Tourist: I could go around, but instead I'll scare it off with my stick!
Cow: *CHARGE!*
Tourist: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! posted by zennie at 12:40 PM on August 29, 2006
Next on Fox: When Animals Attack Magicians. posted by ninjew at 12:46 PM on August 29, 2006
Coupla things...
First, cows have NO horns - this is a bull.
Plus more trouble for hikers...did Deja fuck this bull too? posted by sfts2 at 12:47 PM on August 29, 2006
I parsed zennie's that with the thinking definition of ruminate rather than the more obvious cud-chewing one. posted by danb at 12:50 PM on August 29, 2006
that = comment posted by danb at 12:51 PM on August 29, 2006
Actually, looking at that sign I just posted, that cow has got horns and mammaries.
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posted by Astro Zombie at 11:58 AM on August 29, 2006 [2 favorites]