Multi-faceted Rumsfeld

August 31, 2006 1:03 AM

He is the longest-serving Defense Secretary since Robert McNamara. He is a profound anti-nazi, anti-deadender, and anti-appeaser. He bends reality itself to his will. But do you know the secret Rumsfeld, poet, SCA laurel, and namesake of beetles?
posted by CCBC (35 comments total)

Cheney "boasts senior membership in the North American Fudge Society"?!?
posted by the_bone at 1:08 AM on August 31, 2006

I'd boast too.
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:49 AM on August 31, 2006

Last link no work for me. Take me just to unrendered html. Am imagining that link to page about Agathidium rumsfeldi required instead.
posted by imperium at 1:54 AM on August 31, 2006

Rumsfeld is an SCA geek? That explains so much.
posted by Optamystic at 2:21 AM on August 31, 2006

olbermann on rumsfeld.
posted by delmoi at 2:48 AM on August 31, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

That Olbermann clip is a damn fine piece of oration.
posted by Optamystic at 3:06 AM on August 31, 2006

Cheney "boasts senior membership in the North American Fudge Society"?!?

Rumsfeld is an SCA geek? That explains so much.

Satire.
posted by EarBucket at 4:32 AM on August 31, 2006

Boy, the SCA is letting just anybody in these days, aren't they.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:43 AM on August 31, 2006

For some reason this post reminded me of this (which was posted here).
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:46 AM on August 31, 2006

For an anti-nazi, he sure doesn't have a problem following much of their path.
posted by Kickstart70 at 5:02 AM on August 31, 2006

Stalin was also anti-nazi.
posted by eustacescrubb at 5:13 AM on August 31, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

Here's the speech that inflamed Olberman, and some others.

Here's more on the talking-to-Hitler quote beloved of conservatives. Turns out the senator who said it had sympathized with Adolf, and was sorry to see him go "astray."
posted by ibmcginty at 6:02 AM on August 31, 2006

You know who else was anti-Nazi??

wait a second...
posted by jonmc at 6:33 AM on August 31, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

I was trying to hunt down a picture of Rummy in full SCA garb 'cause I thought that would be funny, but the man just doesn't ever look funny.
Except maybe here. I got nothin'.
posted by Balisong at 6:35 AM on August 31, 2006

the longest-serving Defense Secretary since Robert McNamara

the cycles of history
posted by matteo at 6:36 AM on August 31, 2006

First off Dummy Rummy lives, and has for many decades, in DC. That's Kingdfom of Atlantia. (The SCA has more than dozen kingdoms) And well none of the rest is right either, other than the midrealm is made up of ohio, indiana and a few other states...
posted by Dome-O-Rama at 6:42 AM on August 31, 2006

Olbermann -- I love this guy. How long will they let him stay on the air on MSNBC? Wow.

Rumsfeld? Not so much. He's an asswipe.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:54 AM on August 31, 2006

Not only that, he's an incompetent asswipe.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:56 AM on August 31, 2006

Uhhh... What's the SCA?


"Members, dressed in clothing of the Middle Ages and Renaissance, attend events which may feature tournaments, arts exhibits, classes, workshops, dancing, feasts, and more."

Oh.
posted by notyou at 7:50 AM on August 31, 2006

"For Rumsfeld's critics, the book has had the foaming effect of Mentos placed in a bottle of Diet Coke."

Shoutout?
posted by GrammarMoses at 8:13 AM on August 31, 2006

Yikes. That Olbermann piece deserves to be just as influential as the Murrow report he references.
posted by jet_silver at 8:25 AM on August 31, 2006

That was good. I actually checked the list of Laurals in the Middle Kingdom just to see if he was there.

Cause, dude, nothing would please me more than going to an event and seeing Rummy. Then possibly waiting until he used the port-o-let and tipping it into a nice big ditch.
posted by teleri025 at 8:28 AM on August 31, 2006

Here's more on the talking-to-Hitler quote beloved of conservatives. Turns out the senator who said it had sympathized with Adolf, and was sorry to see him go "astray."

Yeah, what people don't realize is that many of the "Anti-war" people were actually fascists who wanted Hitler to succeed. Including chamberlain, IIRC. (And Lindbergh)
posted by delmoi at 8:52 AM on August 31, 2006

Yeah thanks. I pretty much already know more about Rumsfeld then I care to know. Like that he breathes oxygen. That's enough to know.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:56 AM on August 31, 2006

Fascinating that people call him "Dummy Rummy." If he's such a moron, how is it that he's managed to hang on to his job longer than any other member of Bush's cabinet -- and wield so much disproportionate influence? Yeah, he's as dumb as a box of rocks.
posted by blucevalo at 9:47 AM on August 31, 2006

NERD!
posted by tkchrist at 9:57 AM on August 31, 2006

blucevalo writes "Fascinating that people call him 'Dummy Rummy.' If he's such a moron, how is it that he's managed to hang on to his job longer than any other member of Bush's cabinet -- and wield so much disproportionate influence?"

This is the first time I've ever seen him refered as "Dummy Rummy", FWIW.

I don't think any shrewd observer would qualify him as "a moron". He and Darth Cheney have been running the Administration from day one. Clearly they haven't been doing it all that well, but politically they figured out what they had to do to stay in power, which was and remains their primary goal.
posted by clevershark at 10:13 AM on August 31, 2006

How is it that the guy who Reagan sent to shake hands with Saddam Hussein and extend U.S. support against Iran ended up being the guy who later was in charge of the armed forces sent to remove Saddam from power?
And how is it that the Secretary of Defence during the initial Gulf War is now the Vice President of the United States? Oh, that's right, people didn't bother to look at the past histories of the candidates they were electing, instead focusing on "charm" and "charisma" and other "leadership qualities". And they do that because no one tells them "read up on what they've done before", and simply feed them "he's the type of guy you'd want to sit and have a beer with". Thank you, mass media overlords, for corrupting our national security for favors and collusion with those in office. I will remember to piss on your shoes in the lavatory.
posted by daq at 10:15 AM on August 31, 2006

daq writes "And they do that because no one tells them 'read up on what they've done before', and simply feed them 'he's the type of guy you'd want to sit and have a beer with'."

And ironically Bush wouldn't be having a beer with you anyway. Unless he's fallen off the wagon, which is the subject of much debate.
posted by clevershark at 10:24 AM on August 31, 2006

I keep hoping that stories from Rummy's days as in instructor pilot in S2Fs will emerge on sci.military.naval, but so far, no luck. I bet he was a real PITA in the cockpit, but as an IP you probably have to be a bit of a bastard at times.
posted by pax digita at 10:28 AM on August 31, 2006

daq: Its the unprecedented consolidation of media ownership that's to blame. It's long past time for some good old fashioned trust-busting. You can't have anything resembling a free press if the same players ultimately control all the media outlets. Plus, when Reagan repealed the FCC's fairness doctrine, all gloves came off. The nation's been spiralling further and further out of touch with reality ever since.
posted by saulgoodman at 10:40 AM on August 31, 2006

Hey guys, even though it's really mind-blowingly awesome to imagine Dick Cheney presenting peanut butter fudge and marzipan to a kimono-clad John Bolton before they engage in a tea ceremony, the rest of the internet seems to think that this story is fake.

Hilariously fake, but fake nonetheless.

Which means that the author of this piece is an unparalleled genius.
posted by stemlot at 11:24 AM on August 31, 2006

Anti-nazi?
....pussy
posted by Smedleyman at 2:00 PM on August 31, 2006

"Hilariously fake, but fake nonetheless.

Which means that the author of this piece is an unparalleled genius."

He really had me on the hook with that,(I'm a bit slow) and now reality has returned when I find it is a lie.
posted by Iron Rat at 6:56 PM on August 31, 2006

As a Midrealm Laurel all I can say is that his posts on the mailing list are the sort of trite crap I come here to avoid.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:36 PM on August 31, 2006