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My analysis of this is somewhat tongue in cheek, please don't flame.
September 5, 2006 6:59 AM   Subscribe

The president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has called for a purge of liberal and secular teachers from the country's universities. Now that this former rogue nation has fallen in line, we can turn out attention to the real terrorist threat: Britain.
posted by thirteenkiller (30 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Yay - bring it on!

Can't quite see GWB railroading the US into an illegal invasion of the UK, though... :)
posted by Chunder at 7:03 AM on September 5, 2006


"Can't quite see GWB railroading the US into an illegal invasion of the UK, though... :)"

Like Tony Blair wouldn't just give him the keys to the front door.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:05 AM on September 5, 2006


Britain 'is now biggest security threat to US'... That, and liquids.
posted by Artw at 7:10 AM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


That, and liquids.

And magazines. Terrists are using those perfume samples to hide high explosives.
posted by antifuse at 7:14 AM on September 5, 2006


"We shall fight them on the beaches, although come to think of it that's not such a good idea. The pebbles can be quite nasty, especially if they get inside your shoes and then you end up hopping around on one foot and maybe fall over and you could get a nasty sprain. We shall fight them at the landing grounds, like, erm... Heathrow or Gatwick or something. We shall fight them in the streets. In fact - we'll just invite them over on any Thursday, Friday or Saturday in any major city. We could fight them on the hills but since we're nearly tied on obesity statistics I think it's probably best if we flight on some nice flat ground somewhere. On second thoughts... Ah fuck it. Let them come. We'll take their money, get them pissed and mug them in dark alleys, just like WWII."

/channeling Winston Churchill
posted by longbaugh at 7:15 AM on September 5, 2006


Motherfuckin' liquids got to go!
posted by Mister_A at 7:20 AM on September 5, 2006


This just in: "Canada is next on terror threat" according to the magazine Reality Is Not A Necessity.
posted by Vindaloo at 7:36 AM on September 5, 2006


Iran's hardline President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called Tuesday for a purge of liberal and secular teachers from the country's universities, the official Islamic Republic News Agency reported in another step back to 1980s-style radicalism

Just wait, it'll be our country and our own leader doing the same, soon enough.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:45 AM on September 5, 2006


Britain 'is now biggest security threat to US'

Clearly the authors are neocon completists looking to finish the set of countries that have told the U.S. to fuckoff.

The New Republic article is filled with journalist tells:

Anecdotal evidence for the influence of Muslim extremism on British Pakistani communities is not hard to come by.

Anecdotal evidence of anything is easy to come by.


According to a 2001 survey, 70 percent of American Muslims strongly agreed that they should participate in U.S. institutions. By contrast, a recent Pew poll found that 81 percent of British Muslims considered themselves Muslims first and British citizens second.


Two different questions and conflating a religion with a nationality. well done! Next we will ask women whether they are women or British first and compare this with the American voter turnout numbers.


To address this problem, the Bush administration should encourage the British government to monitor more closely the activities of U.K.-based extremist groups.

Right. More closely than catching them? Or do they mean monitor everyone more closely? The UK already has a much stricter surveillance regime and probably a more effective intelligence service than the United States' homeland security mess. Not to mention having decades more experience dealing with this type of problem.

Declaring war on the multiculturalism of your neighbors such as here with Britain or the post 9/11 attacks on Canadian multiculturalism is precisely the kind of behavior that shrinks coalitions of the willing. Not because your political/corporate lackeys holding office in other countries such as Blair or Harper will oppose your policies but because you will appear to be encroaching on the democratic prerogatives of other nations' populaces which tends to get their backs up and impacts the ballot box.

I look forward to future political interest terrorism tie-ins being used to distract Americans from the politicized incompetence of their current anti-terrorism response.

Might I suggest taking a break from capturing or killing al-qaeda number two men to pursue the following:

1. Minimum wage increases fund terrorism through 7/11s
2. Universal health care means healthier terrorists
3. DRM, patents, and copyright will help defeat terrorists
4. Tax breaks for the rich will help them innovate ways to defeat terrorism.
posted by srboisvert at 7:51 AM on September 5, 2006


You forgot:

5. Kyoto is what al-qaeda wants us to do - global warming will drive terrists out of pakistan.
posted by patricio at 7:59 AM on September 5, 2006


I don't know why people are criticising the New Republic. We poor inhabitants of Brittia, or whatever that place is called, wouldn't have thought of keeping an eye on jihadis all on our own.

Thanks, New Republic!
posted by athenian at 8:19 AM on September 5, 2006


The US doesn't have a proplem with muslim extremists for the exact same reason that the UK doesn't have a problem with latino gangsters.
posted by Artw at 8:35 AM on September 5, 2006


As stupid as the New Republic article is, Blair's response to the Muslim radicals in his country is cowardly and terrible. If multiculturalism means allowing legal forced marriages of British citizens because of "cultural sensitivity", then fuck that. People who don't want to live by the standards of a liberal democratic state shouldn't live there.
posted by Spacelegoman at 8:42 AM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


Why is nearly every FPP or thread about ills in another country turned immediately into "yeah, but the US does the same thing worse"? I mean, I don't like Bush at all, but to say that the re-launching of the cultural revolution in Iran, with students being told to rise up and throw out professors, is the same thing as the standard fifty year old conservative shtick against university liberalism seems silly. Liberalism and secularism doesn't seem particularly threatened in the American university, nor does tenure, and the current culture wars against campuses are nothing like the were in the past.

(And yeah, I get that the analysis is "tongue in cheek" but the actual article on Iran is pretty terrifying: "Ahmadinejad also has been replacing pragmatic veterans in the government with former military commanders and inexperienced religious hard-liners.")
posted by blahblahblah at 9:06 AM on September 5, 2006


Why indeed
posted by thirteenkiller at 9:18 AM on September 5, 2006


People who don't want to live by the standards of a liberal democratic state shouldn't live there.

ROTFL..

(that was a deliberate sarcastic single sentence contradiction right?)
posted by srboisvert at 9:37 AM on September 5, 2006


The New Republic, fear-mongering about Muslims? Shocker! One thing that's great about the US press is that there are right and left wing mags, but all of them can agree on Israel and the Muslim menace. Diversity of opinion can only go so far, for our own protection.
posted by cell divide at 10:12 AM on September 5, 2006


Related AskMe:

An old schoolmate has just been offered a job teaching in Iran for the month of January, at a university in Tehran, teaching some Comp Sci topic. He's an American Catholic, sensible, knows not a lick of Farsi of course. Good idea?
posted by sbutler at 10:25 AM on September 5, 2006


Iran is purging liberal and secular teachers from universities, and MetaFilter - normally a champion of liberal and secular causes - has nothing to say about it, but instead focuses on a wacky comment in an unrelated New Republic article.
posted by rocket88 at 10:27 AM on September 5, 2006


Now that this former rogue nation has fallen in line,...

Could someone tell me what this means?
posted by MarshallPoe at 10:41 AM on September 5, 2006


Spacelegoman - you are joking right? Linking to a comically extreme blog that links to the Daily Mail as a reliable source? And since when did not legislating to create a specific offense and encouraging the courts to use existing laws make a practice legal?
posted by patricio at 10:55 AM on September 5, 2006


All this thread lacks is a good Unregistered Usering.
posted by scrump at 1:56 PM on September 5, 2006


Iran is purging liberal and secular teachers from universities, and MetaFilter - normally a champion of liberal and secular causes - has nothing to say about it, but instead focuses on a wacky comment in an unrelated New Republic article.

Shocker!
posted by Krrrlson at 2:04 PM on September 5, 2006


Hey, there you go, Krrrlson, more evidence for that selection bias you've been working on! (attentive readers will note that this very comment contains no explicit condemnation of Iran! Am I working for the terrorists? I think the answer is clear.)
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:11 PM on September 5, 2006


It sounds very similar to China's cultural revolution. An interesting thing about the cultural revolution is that a huge part of it was Mao's attempt to stay in power and remain relevant with the youth. As the chinese communist party was constantly going on about the revolution (as post revolution governments usually do), young people felt that they had been left out, left behind, and had missed out on all the good times. Mao encouraged the cultural revolution as a way to allow sanctioned pro-party revolutionary activities, which gave the youth new power and kept the leadership safe from any sort of actual revolution from the youth.

Given the estimated low levels of popular support for the Iranian theocracy, this seems like a way to empower the radical, pro-revolution youth to stifle their classmates and teachers, and protect against youth-driven counter-revolutions.
posted by cell divide at 2:16 PM on September 5, 2006 [2 favorites]


Nuke Islington!
posted by movilla at 4:26 PM on September 5, 2006


Let’s focus on the real terrorist threat here.


“Nuke Islington!”
Nudge, nudge, say no more.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:17 PM on September 5, 2006


Hey, there you go, Krrrlson, more evidence for that selection bias you've been working on!

Your... your sarcasm made me forget all about your hypocrisy! However did you do that?
posted by Krrrlson at 10:26 PM on September 5, 2006


My hypocrisy? Fuck you unless you have cites, good sir.
posted by sonofsamiam at 7:00 AM on September 6, 2006


It's the lack of cites that indicts you, as you well know.
posted by Krrrlson at 10:32 PM on September 7, 2006


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