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FATMOUSE IS NOT AMUSED.
September 14, 2006 1:12 AM   Subscribe


 
The Interweb is the best thing ever.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:21 AM on September 14, 2006


mmm... cat bacon
posted by funkbrain at 1:26 AM on September 14, 2006


I'm totally going to go do that right now.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:26 AM on September 14, 2006


After hitting the reload button for 24 hours straight, trying to shake off withdrawal symptoms, locking myself out of the house, getting let back in at 4:20am, and getting back to the business of reloading, I'm rewarded with this.
posted by knave at 1:28 AM on September 14, 2006 [2 favorites]


This is but one step up from the St. Bernards with whiskey around their necks.

We have many steps to go.
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 1:29 AM on September 14, 2006 [1 favorite]


no way, that is photoshopped, you can't TAPE bacon, not to a CAT, I mean COME ON
posted by damehex at 1:30 AM on September 14, 2006 [1 favorite]


But the post could perhaps be improved with a random youtube link [YouTube].
posted by knave at 1:30 AM on September 14, 2006


wimson summed it up nicely.
posted by knave at 1:37 AM on September 14, 2006


posted by Blazecock Pileon: THIS IS NOT AN APPROPRIARE FRONT PAGE POST.

Hmmm... maybe if the cat had been on the scene at Ground Zero, September 11? Just kidding, Blazecock...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:05 AM on September 14, 2006


Just out of curiosity, blazecock: is that a panda with arms dangling, or an armless panda with saggy boobies?

just curious.
posted by RobertFrost at 2:09 AM on September 14, 2006


What does it look like to you, RobertFrost? You said you saw boobies? Tell us more about what you see. How does it make you feel?
posted by loquacious at 2:33 AM on September 14, 2006


Where did Daddy touch your panda?
posted by maryh at 2:35 AM on September 14, 2006 [1 favorite]


Totally inspired here. I may Velcro some polenta to my pussy.
posted by pax digita at 2:39 AM on September 14, 2006 [1 favorite]


It's all about context.
I saw this on Fark; I thought, "There's a cat with bacon taped to its fur. He-he."
I saw this on MetaFilter; I thought, "A fascinating commentary of the cruel and random nature of fame. Here's a guy who has been struggling for acknowledgement throughout a difficult career, supplementing his income as a novelist by lecturing and copy-writing. Suddenly, he achieves a publishing sensation, by adding Danish to a Siamese."
Maybe I'll see it next at Tate Modern, and I'll think, "Sublime juxtaposition."
posted by MinPin at 2:56 AM on September 14, 2006 [3 favorites]


Sometimes...when I sit alone in a dark room...the droopy boobied, armless pandas...they talk to me...and fix me half stacks of pancakes.
posted by RobertFrost at 2:57 AM on September 14, 2006


Half stacks!? You, sir, are in need of some serious help.
posted by loquacious at 3:00 AM on September 14, 2006


Nice couch though
posted by Flashman at 3:13 AM on September 14, 2006


At least the follow up has some perspective...
posted by Luddite at 3:18 AM on September 14, 2006


Scalzi should have posted it to projects first.
posted by felix betachat at 3:18 AM on September 14, 2006


DOGS LOVE BACON!!!
Cats lug bacon.
posted by rob511 at 3:22 AM on September 14, 2006


Holy God, what sort of unregenerate moron tapes breakfast meat to a domestic animal?
posted by jscalzi at 4:03 AM on September 14, 2006 [3 favorites]


I think Marcel Duchamp did it way better, and over 80 years ago.
posted by Flashman at 4:10 AM on September 14, 2006


Holy God, what sort of unregenerate moron tapes breakfast meat to a domestic animal?

Holy breakfast meat, what sort of unregenerate God tapes a domestic animal to moron?
posted by loquacious at 4:45 AM on September 14, 2006


OK, loquacious's reordering was the first entertaining thing here. I'm torn between pleasure at getting there, and despair for having gotten there.
posted by imperium at 4:49 AM on September 14, 2006


Well, this looks much easier than the time I taped that cat to that pig.

In the meanwhile, the monkey loves the kitten.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:59 AM on September 14, 2006


roffle
posted by sciurus at 5:05 AM on September 14, 2006


People like that shouldn't be allowed to breed.

Moran.
posted by bim at 5:17 AM on September 14, 2006


Scalzi has posted the real truth here.
posted by eriko at 5:52 AM on September 14, 2006


The point of this being?...
posted by Vindaloo at 5:54 AM on September 14, 2006


"People like that shouldn't be allowed to breed."

Too late.

What's a "Moran"?
posted by jscalzi at 6:11 AM on September 14, 2006



HE'S A MORAN.
posted by blasdelf at 6:37 AM on September 14, 2006


I LOL'd at the cat.
posted by Foosnark at 6:39 AM on September 14, 2006


I weep for that piece of bacon, so heinously misused.
posted by green herring at 6:48 AM on September 14, 2006


Pfft. Big deal. trying taping a cat to a side of bacon.
posted by Skygazer at 7:08 AM on September 14, 2006


Or a ham sandwich.
posted by Skygazer at 7:13 AM on September 14, 2006


Or a side of ribs.
posted by Skygazer at 7:14 AM on September 14, 2006


Or a slide of fibs.
posted by Skygazer at 7:14 AM on September 14, 2006


Or a tide of MIGS.
posted by Skygazer at 7:15 AM on September 14, 2006


maybe if the cat had been on the scene at Ground Zero

I like to think it was.
posted by CynicalKnight at 7:19 AM on September 14, 2006 [1 favorite]


or a bride in wigs.
posted by carsonb at 7:24 AM on September 14, 2006


well, shit.
posted by carsonb at 7:24 AM on September 14, 2006


FATMOUSE! I wonder why this never spread its fat tentacles all over the web. "FATMOUSE + YOU = FATMOUSE" seems like the basis for internets-comedy gold. Along with Fat Chicks in Party Hats it was the only use I had for the web back in the day. Anyone?
posted by now i'm piste at 7:37 AM on September 14, 2006


I can bring home the bacon...
tape it onto the cat
post it up quick on my blog
go 'head commmment on thaaaat
cause Ima blaaahhger
Enjoli!
posted by RubberHen at 7:47 AM on September 14, 2006 [1 favorite]


Haha Scalzi is one of my new favorites.

Old Man's War kicked ass.
posted by i_am_a_Jedi at 8:19 AM on September 14, 2006


We have TAPES!!!!!!
posted by blue_beetle at 9:10 AM on September 14, 2006


Yes, you can tape bacon to a cat.

You sir, posit a highly unlikely scenario. It seems improbable that the cat would allow you to secure meat to its body willingly. Furthermore, I highly doubt that tape would stick to feline fur let alone a piece of fried bacon.

Hogwash I say.

[clicks link]

Aww, looka the little kitty. it's got bacon on it. hehehe!

Ahem.

I stand corrected.
posted by quin at 9:18 AM on September 14, 2006


I've been a Scalzi fan since the 1900's (I am SHOCKED that his 'Scalzi's Best of the Millennium' has disappeared from the web), and marvel at his ability to create a World Class Internet Meme (and MetaFilter FPP) once a year, although last year's ("Being Poor") was a whole different thing.
posted by wendell at 9:40 AM on September 14, 2006


I think it would have been much harder using fried bacon, and my cat.
posted by owhydididoit at 9:46 AM on September 14, 2006


Those two pictures are awesome. What a calm kitty.

[1st picture] "Huh? What the hell is that?"
[2nd picture] "Oh, it's bacon. Neat."
posted by poweredbybeard at 10:15 AM on September 14, 2006


If that is a real piece of bacon, how come no confirmed bacon debris has been found on the cat's fur? Also, although the bacon supposedly travelled over a major highway on its way into the cat, no eyewitnesses have stepped forward to claim that they saw a piece of bacon at that time and place-though several have said that they saw a shorter, wider, faster moving piece of meat. Also, the hole caused by the bacon's entry is shorter and fatter than one would expect from a piece of real bacon-it is in fact more consistent with the damage that a piece of Canadian Bacon. I think the evidence speaks for itself.
posted by Kwine at 11:54 AM on September 14, 2006


...Canadian Bacon would cause....
posted by Kwine at 11:56 AM on September 14, 2006


Could this possibly result in a situation where there's a terrible mix-up, and the tape gets.... eaten?
posted by beth at 12:19 PM on September 14, 2006


OH CRAP!
*pays out 6:1*

Ok, I’ve got $20 here that says you can’t hot glue dumplings to a camel and I’m paying 8 to 5 - c’mon, who’s feeling lucky?

Current standings:
Rubber cementing croissants to a marmot - running 4 to 1 in the 5th

Crazy gluing kippers to an iguana - 2:1, next attempt Thursday

Spray acrylicing biscottate to a shetland pony - 3:4 (rained out)

Epoxying donuts to an ostrich - 12 to 1

Wood gluing muffins to a dalmation pays 8 to 3 (fire department conditions permitting)

Gaffer taping a full English breakfast to a cheetah - currently 2500 to 1.
posted by Smedleyman at 4:03 PM on September 14, 2006 [2 favorites]


Could this possibly result in a situation where there's a terrible mix-up, and the tape gets.... eaten?

That's genius! BaconTapeTM! I can smell the 3M/Monsanto spinoffs already!
posted by loquacious at 4:42 PM on September 14, 2006


What's a moran???

This my friend is a moran:



And here's the lively little thread where the subject first arose! :)
posted by bim at 6:24 PM on September 14, 2006


This is one of the strangest sites I've seen in some time. I have no idea how these people got bacon stuck to their cats, or why.
posted by Effigy2000 at 6:41 PM on September 14, 2006


Now I want bacon.
posted by Bageena at 7:29 PM on September 14, 2006


How often is the time I've been in my den, at my desk, working on my latest work of literature (Don't Eat My Donkey: Technology Trends in Uranium Mining, An Investigative Exposé) when the fancy strikes me to tape bacon to a cat.

Alas, I have no cat.

At least I shall now be able to satisfy my cravings vicariously.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:00 PM on September 14, 2006


"I'll have the cat, with a side of bacon."
posted by spock at 9:21 AM on September 15, 2006


Headline of the (near)future: Muslims Upset with Pope's Statement on Bacon-Taping
posted by spock at 9:24 AM on September 15, 2006


I defy anyone to attempt this with a dog.
posted by spock at 9:25 AM on September 15, 2006


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