Evil Villain Now Hiring

September 14, 2006 4:23 AM

Evil Villain Now HiringI was looking for jobs this morning on craigslist, when I found this unique job opportunity. I have to say though I had no idea there were hollowed out active volcanoes in Maine.
posted by jackdirt (34 comments total)

This goes here. Not here.
posted by rxrfrx at 4:28 AM on September 14, 2006

There was an active volcano in Philly, but it was an enlarged science fair project.
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:33 AM on September 14, 2006

Maine has had its share of super villains:

• Rocket Racer was going to b from Maine, but then they made him black so he couldn't be from Maine any more.
• The X-Men's Sentinel Robots were based in part on Former Maine governor John McKernan
• Darth Vader was originally going to be played by Judd Nelson and was going to have a Maine accent and say thing like "YUH! The fohce is wicked fuckin' strong with you, bro!"
• Darkseid, up until the Crisis on Infinite Earths, was from Skowhegan and got his superpowers from magical OxyContin tablets.

posted by Mayor Curley at 4:43 AM on September 14, 2006

They have craigslist on the internet, now?
posted by sdrawkcab at 4:53 AM on September 14, 2006

Shouldn't the word laser be written with quotation marks?
posted by rob511 at 4:57 AM on September 14, 2006

I just got around to reading the actual ad and it sucks. jackdirt, if this is a self-link, you should be ashamed of yourself. Not for self-linking but for recycling cliches, homey.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:03 AM on September 14, 2006

"I just got around to reading the actual ad and it sucks. jackdirt, if this is a self-link, you should be ashamed of yourself. Not for self-linking but for recycling cliches, homey."

Honestly I just thought it was funny, especially because it is in the skilled trades. Besides you tell me you wouldn't have a good laugh after looking for jobs for close to a week and you find thisJust my two cents.
posted by jackdirt at 5:09 AM on September 14, 2006

Curses, foiled again!
posted by briank at 5:15 AM on September 14, 2006

We're setting the bar for Best of the Web pretty low here.
posted by paulsc at 5:16 AM on September 14, 2006

emphatically meh
posted by craven_morhead at 5:24 AM on September 14, 2006

posted by Plutor at 5:55 AM on September 14, 2006

posted by frecklefaerie at 6:09 AM on September 14, 2006

I thought it was meh until the word "henching" was used. Then I quite liked it.
posted by flashboy at 6:10 AM on September 14, 2006

This is why we don't usually post kooky things from craigslist. Or weird eBay auctions. Or amusing articles from The Onion.
posted by jonson at 6:56 AM on September 14, 2006

Thanks Plutor. Been looking for that. Now go see if you can find that college paper classified that goes something like:

FOUND: Dead cat. Black and tan (two pieces) Call ... (etc.)
posted by hal9k at 7:45 AM on September 14, 2006

Gone now. Is it mirrored anywhere?
posted by jb at 7:55 AM on September 14, 2006

posted by analogue at 7:59 AM on September 14, 2006

I was going to apply, although I'm overqualified for henching. Thought maybe there'd be a place for 'person who meddles in things not meant to be meddled with.' This archaeology degree isn't exactly employable, and you know, he said there were benefits.
posted by cobaltnine at 8:23 AM on September 14, 2006

I thought it was meh until the word "henching" was used.

Probably stolen directly from The Venture Brothers.
posted by yerfatma at 8:40 AM on September 14, 2006

rxrfrx - Are you writing the rules now?
posted by catchmurray at 8:50 AM on September 14, 2006

You didn't get my memo?
posted by rxrfrx at 9:07 AM on September 14, 2006

This posting has been removed by metafilter community
posted by Toecutter at 9:12 AM on September 14, 2006

Are your sure that RFJason isn't responsible for this ad, too?
posted by willmize at 9:35 AM on September 14, 2006

I chortled. Then again, I place odd classified ads for entertainment purposes.
posted by Fezboy! at 9:36 AM on September 14, 2006

"This posting has been removed by craigslist community."


HA! HALARIOUS! THANKS FOR POSTING!
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:55 AM on September 14, 2006

"This posting has been removed by craigslist community."


HA! HALARIOUS! THANKS FOR POSTING!

In Maine, that's considered highbrow humor-- removing an Internet posting. But so is lighting your farts and and spitting in your buddy's sombrero.
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:05 AM on September 14, 2006

Does this mean there's going to be silliness until the thread closes?

It's all good, man. Clichés are born in doomed places such as this.
posted by Zero Gravitas at 10:09 AM on September 14, 2006

Currently looking to fill the position of henchmen,and beautiful female accomplice.

Henchmen
Must be willing to take orders and be able to work weekends and nights as well. Please note you will be working in a hollow based volcano which is a hazardous environment, so there will be some risks involved. Please attach resume with former henching experience. Experience with lasers a plus, but not needed. Will train the right individual.

Beautiful Female Accomplice
Ideal beautiful female accomplice, must be willing to take orders and sit, stand or otherwise be beautiful, essentially you will be an object for me to admire. Some special tasks may also be involved. Martial arts and modeling skills are a plus. You will have a facade that you are truly evil, but inevitably the good inside you will turn you to my arch-nemesis. Please send resume along with pictures to be considered for interview.


Evil Villain is an EOE and will not discriminate.

Job location is undisclosed active hollow volcano
Compensation: Healthcare, Matching 401k, Dental, Paid vacations, Holiday Bonuses.
yes -- OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
no -- Please, no phone calls about this job!
yes -- You may contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
no -- Reposting this message elsewhere is NOT OK.
yes -- OK to repost to Job Developers for Persons with Disabilities.
posted by eustacescrubb at 10:29 AM on September 14, 2006

Maybe it's Xenu.
posted by owhydididoit at 11:18 AM on September 14, 2006

Evil Villain is an EOE and will not discriminate.........against who lives or dies.

You all die. Bwa ha ha. Equal opportunity exterminator
posted by lalochezia at 12:18 PM on September 14, 2006

"no -- Reposting this message elsewhere is NOT OK."

Aren't you just a tiny bit afraid this person might send his Henchmen after you for reposting this?

...oh good god, where's the spellcheck?
posted by gregschoen at 2:25 PM on September 14, 2006

Do you have any idea of the amount of paperwork involved in hiring a Henchman? That guy won't be on the job for months.
posted by InfidelZombie at 3:06 PM on September 14, 2006

Evil Villain is an EOE and will not discriminate

Shouldn't it say "henchperson," then?
posted by diddlegnome at 3:34 PM on September 14, 2006

Little-known fact: The lair inside the hollowed out volcano was the invention of Roald Dahl, a longtime friend of Ian Fleming, who took over the screenwriting duties for You Only Live Twice from his ailing friend Ian Fleming, who (I believe) died around the time the film was released.
posted by Eideteker at 6:54 PM on September 14, 2006