I, for one, welcome our new robot cockroach overlords.

September 14, 2006 9:53 AM

No one believes me when I told them that the swarms of robot cockroaches are out to get me.
posted by allkindsoftime (20 comments total)

that is evil and it must be stopped
posted by slackdog at 10:31 AM on September 14, 2006

This is awesome and I want that software to play with it myself.
posted by wanderingmind at 10:32 AM on September 14, 2006

Uh-oh

. . . a trawl of Pentagon budget documents turns up a number of hardware projects. One, by the Defense Threat Reduction Agency, which is tasked with dealing with WMD threats, commences in fiscal year 2007 for "technology necessary for robotic systems to attack tunnel complexes" and another for "microdamage technologies" for "very small robotic weapons."

posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:39 AM on September 14, 2006

you're one of them, aren't you?
posted by allkindsoftime at 10:39 AM on September 14, 2006

This is the first time I've read about a kind of technology where I thought: You know, it may be time to seriously consider implementing Asimov's Three Laws.

Not saying that it isn't cool or anything, but the bit about how they don't need to program robots, the software just figures it out and chooses the most optimum method of movement? Yeah, that bit got me thinking about the inevitable robot Apocalypse.

(Which is actually kind of refreshing, since I normally worry about the inevitable zombie Apocalypse.)
posted by quin at 10:46 AM on September 14, 2006

No one believes me when I say that aliens cometo me at night and draw nourishment from the fluid in my eyeballs. Explain that one, science boy.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:50 AM on September 14, 2006

You think the Three Laws will save us? Have you not seen I, Robot???
posted by allkindsoftime at 10:58 AM on September 14, 2006

allkindsoftime, Sure. That's why I said 'inevitable', but at least with the three laws the robots won't be armed. We stand a better chance of taking them on in a straight fight.

Also, if the Zeroth Law in the film had been more like what Asimov actually wrote, it wouldn't have been nearly as catastrophic or dangerous to humans. Though it would have made for a really boring action movie. The film version was kinda like Zeroth Law sped up by a million times.
posted by quin at 11:30 AM on September 14, 2006

Isn't there an episode of X-Files that deals with swarms of robot cockroaches?
posted by Vindaloo at 11:38 AM on September 14, 2006

This is bad. Among other things, they are talking about robots that can:

* Avoid detection
* Work cooperatively ("swarm"), sacrificing members as diversions, if that's useful
* Adapt to obstacles and countermeasures
* Carry and use weapons (although the implication of "microdamage weapons" is that they will only do micro-harm, who's setting that limit?)
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:39 AM on September 14, 2006

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

The episode of the X-Files is War of the Coprophages, whose robotic cockroach(es?) was/were premised on the idea that alien intelligences are more likely to send a small drone to evaluate another planet than actually land a craft here. What kind of drone? Well, a small one that could, among other things, be powered by methane (hence explaining the attraction of the bugs to dung.) The joke of the episode are all the competing explanations for the town's cockroaches.
posted by blueshammer at 11:53 AM on September 14, 2006

I can't wait until these things can self-replicate.
posted by distant figures at 12:43 PM on September 14, 2006

Well, since if you "Give it [the software] any set of robotic limbs and it will master locomotion within minutes without any programming," the machines themselves don't need to replicate. If they can figure out how to duplicate their software into other computer-controlled devices, we'll have a monster of a problem.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:13 PM on September 14, 2006

I want that software to play with it myself

That's not how it works.

First it plays with itself.

Then, after a while, it plays with you.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:36 PM on September 14, 2006

Reminds me of Prey.
posted by itchylick at 1:42 PM on September 14, 2006

Well, since if you "Give it [the software] any set of robotic limbs and it will master locomotion within minutes without any programming," the machines themselves don't need to replicate. If they can figure out how to duplicate their software into other computer-controlled devices, we'll have a monster of a problem.

Shouldn't be too hard for them. With their survailance and stealth capabilities, all it would take is for them to blackmail a handful of humans to do their bidding and we're no longer the dominant species on this planet. The thing about software is that its very easy to transfer to different hardware.
posted by SBMike at 3:24 PM on September 14, 2006

... don't look now, but I think some of them may be swarming loose among us now.
posted by madamjujujive at 6:02 PM on September 14, 2006

My robotic cat destroys your robotic pests.
posted by |n$eCur3 at 3:24 AM on September 15, 2006

[Previously — Think of the big one as a troop transport. Oh, and U.S. Department of Defense Seeks Proposals on Remote-Controlled Insect-Cyborgs]
posted by cenoxo at 9:29 AM on September 15, 2006

No one believes me when I told them that the swarms of robot cockroaches are out to get me.

No one believes me when I say that I'm a mad scientist.
posted by neuron at 1:27 PM on September 15, 2006