NYC with its intelligentsia, its liberal consensus, is in relationship to the rest of USA like Vatican in the midst of Italy, a tiny private state with immense power + wealth, but separate...
One of my strongest and most fully employed emotions: contempt. Contempt for others, contempt for myself...
Joe [Chaikin] asks me tonight how I feel when I discover, say, three-fours through something I'm writing that it is mediocre, inferior. I reply that I feel good and plow on to the end. I'm discharging the mediocre in myself. (My excremental image of my writing.) It's there. I want to get rid of it. I can't negate it by an act of will. (Or can I?) I can only allow it its voice, get it "out". Then I can do something else. At least, I know I won't need to do that again.
In Calif, a stranger is a [potential] friend until he proves otherwise; in NY, a stranger is an enemy until he proves otherwise. One uses up a lot of energy in NY by that hypothesis...
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