I Just Might Turn To Smoke But I Feel Fine

September 15, 2006 6:56 PM

The Incinolet(possible product name: The Crap Zapper!) is a waterless toilet which, according to its fans, is cleaner, less expensive, and more eco-friendly than its counterparts because it uses fire instead of water.
posted by fandango_matt (47 comments total)

Well, Shit Fire!
posted by Balisong at 7:02 PM on September 15, 2006

What a crappy post. OOH BURN.
posted by dmd at 7:02 PM on September 15, 2006

Neighbor: What on earth is that smell?
Homeowner: Oh, I'm burning my shit. It's The peristaltic wave of the future! Worst smell ever!
posted by longsleeves at 7:09 PM on September 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

methane-fired?
posted by jfuller at 7:11 PM on September 15, 2006

Waste is incinerated after each use - keeps bathroom free of odor and flies. Catalyst within the toilet keeps exhaust odor-free."

In other words...flaming shit in my toilet? Odor-free my ass. Ummm, wait.
posted by edverb at 7:12 PM on September 15, 2006

The lever is shielded by a slanted metal plate so you don't accidentally open the steel doors before you are ready to deploy a payload.

Heh.
posted by grabbingsand at 7:14 PM on September 15, 2006

Sauron?
posted by grabbingsand at 7:16 PM on September 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

Fire? Toilet? Ass gas?

what could POSSIBLY go wrong?
posted by newfers at 7:21 PM on September 15, 2006

LOL, I'm in UR flaming toilet releasing all UR payloadz.
posted by Balisong at 7:24 PM on September 15, 2006

That smell has to go somewhere.
posted by 2sheets at 7:25 PM on September 15, 2006

the chemicals resulting in that smell is probably denatured by the extreme heat. This is a very good idea - until some prankster puts an explosive container or some flammable liquid into it. Not to say that conventional western toilets are any less susceptable to vandalism.
posted by wumpus at 7:30 PM on September 15, 2006

Disposing solid waste, the US Military In Iraq way
posted by rxrfrx at 7:41 PM on September 15, 2006

Maybe it's just me, but I believe that just the mere thought of the pits of hell mere inches from my buns would keep me constipated for the rest of my life.
posted by leftcoastbob at 7:43 PM on September 15, 2006

I'm a breatharian. My shit don't stink.
posted by dobbs at 7:46 PM on September 15, 2006

Empty Ashpan at least once every week, more often with heavy usage.
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 7:47 PM on September 15, 2006

This screams for a bit of warning.
posted by madamjujujive at 8:02 PM on September 15, 2006

There are also Composting Toilets.
posted by banished at 8:09 PM on September 15, 2006

Finally! An easier solution to ashbury's problem than scarabic's time-consuming, labor-intensive, inconvenient and probably smelly method! Just make sure you have enough paper liners on hand to hold all the chopped-up body parts before you whack anybody.
posted by Quietgal at 8:12 PM on September 15, 2006

I always had a problem with crapping in perfectly good water.
posted by Smedleyman at 8:13 PM on September 15, 2006

Ah, sweet revenge. My shit has been burning my ass for years now.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:16 PM on September 15, 2006

And you thought LA had a smog problem now.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 8:51 PM on September 15, 2006

We actually have a propane-driven one (differnt make). It uses about 30 lbs of propane to burn for 6 hours, and stinks beyond belief. Have to burn once a week for 2 of us, if I pee outside. Not very satisfactory.

We also have a couple of SunMar composting toilets which I much prefer, until they jam, and you have to dig out the drum to fix it. *shudder*

AstroZombie wins the thread, though!
posted by DesbaratsDays at 9:00 PM on September 15, 2006

It also looks like it's not being touted as an alternative to flush toilets, but to composting toilets, presumably for folks without access to water mains. So whether or not it smells better or worse than a standard flush toilet, I would bet it would smell a lot better than a composting toilet.
posted by Bugbread at 9:03 PM on September 15, 2006

more eco-friendly than its counterparts

Right. Because there are no eco-costs to the heating method to make the fire.
posted by rough ashlar at 9:08 PM on September 15, 2006

Stay away from the bidet.
posted by itchylick at 9:28 PM on September 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

I worked with a woman a bunch of years back who was really gung-ho about getting one of these toilets. She would start describing how they worked, and then she's get this glassy, crazed look in her eyes and end with, "Just think of it... The purifying effects of fire..."
She kind of freaked me out.
posted by maryh at 10:11 PM on September 15, 2006

Dude, I have trouble taking the garbage out on a regular basis. That soot's just gonna pile up.
posted by graventy at 10:11 PM on September 15, 2006

Because there are no eco-costs to the heating method to make the fire.

It uses spotted owls for fuel.
posted by ryoshu at 10:20 PM on September 15, 2006

Snopes' Blew Moon may become a reality yet.
posted by cenoxo at 10:51 PM on September 15, 2006

Has anyone run this by Johnny Cat?
posted by rob511 at 10:53 PM on September 15, 2006

Stay away from the bidet.

Ouch.
posted by Alex404 at 10:59 PM on September 15, 2006

This seemed like a good idea at first. Then I read this from the last link:

And, yes, that is a genuine, authentic, antique (maybe) chamber pot next to the throne of fire. It's expensive to incinerate urine.

After reading that, I'm sorry to say but... I'll see the polar ice caps melt and the third world die of thirst before I give up my flush toilette.
posted by Davenhill at 12:09 AM on September 16, 2006

What is the carbon cost?
posted by sourwookie at 12:33 AM on September 16, 2006

And I say unto you, in the End Time, the Lord will smite his enemies, the toilets will ascend to the heavens and excrement will burn! BURRRRRRN!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 1:40 AM on September 16, 2006

This will be all the rage at Burning Man. It might just be the last thing nobody's ever thought to torch there before...
posted by mykescipark at 5:56 AM on September 16, 2006

What happens when you fish dies? Is it a flaming burial? or a burial a sea?
posted by filmgeek at 7:44 AM on September 16, 2006

10 pennies per use? No thanks. I'll stick to shitting in plastic bags and dumping it with commercial trash.
posted by econous at 7:51 AM on September 16, 2006

It's expensive to incinerate urine.

And giving up on the valuable phosphorus via flushing....
posted by rough ashlar at 8:02 AM on September 16, 2006

Here's a classic textfile about the military shit burnin' rxrfrx's video depicted.
posted by BeerFilter at 8:27 AM on September 16, 2006

And watch out for that collateral damage: Giant Toilet Roll Starts Factory Fire.
posted by cenoxo at 8:30 AM on September 16, 2006

What happens when you fish dies? Is it a flaming burial? or a burial a sea?

Both, man. It's a fucken Viking funeral!
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:31 AM on September 16, 2006

I seem to recall Buckminster Fuller designed such a toilet many years ago. Reading through the military perspective on this subject, I would gather that human "solids" take a great deal of heat to decompose, as it's obvious they don't burn. But remember, dried dung is still used as fuel in some parts of the world. Would dried human solids burn? Would you want to be around while it dried?

Thinking about this further, the dried dung that does burn comes from animals that consume cellulose based foods, and thus must have flamable cellulose in their wastes. I'll bet dried human solids would not burn...
posted by Tube at 11:44 AM on September 16, 2006

Thanks BeerFilter, I sort of vaguely remembered that textfile, but it got confused in my head with a bunch of Doonesbury strips where the dudes are in the Gulf War.
posted by rxrfrx at 4:14 PM on September 16, 2006

After reading that, I'm sorry to say but... I'll see the polar ice caps melt and the third world die of thirst before I give up my flush toilette.

Chickenshit.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:56 PM on September 16, 2006

Dried herbivore manure is burned because it isn't digested very well and it contains a great deal of cellulose. It won't work with fecal output of omnivores or carnivores.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 9:20 PM on September 16, 2006

Take the flame inside/you burn and burn below...
posted by greatgefilte at 11:18 PM on September 16, 2006

Two days and not one Johnny Cash joke. Man. This place is slipping.

The taste of love is sweet
when hearts like our's meet
I fell for you like a child
oh, but the fire went wild..

posted by GuyZero at 7:49 PM on September 17, 2006