Introducing... Wallet 2.0

September 29, 2006 7:51 AM

The new wallet for new generation! What happens when an iPod-owning Web 2.0 designer thinks to redesign the wallet-- complete with an odd combination of British slang and Engrish. Even if this smacks of Pepsi-Blueness, be sure to read "birth of wallet 2.0". (via)
posted by kimota (57 comments total)

interesting product, crap name.
posted by lemonfridge at 7:58 AM on September 29, 2006

Kramer: Nobody carries wallets anymore. I mean, they went out with powdered wigs.

Yeah, see here's what you need. Just a couple of cards and your bankroll.

See? Keep the big bills on the outside.

Jerry: That's a five.
posted by wfc123 at 8:00 AM on September 29, 2006

Crashy McCrashter seems to have struck.
posted by DenOfSizer at 8:07 AM on September 29, 2006

What happens when an iPod-owning Web 2.0 designer thinks to redesign the wallet

Their site crashes because they're too busy messing with their new wallet.
posted by CynicalKnight at 8:11 AM on September 29, 2006

If the site is any indication of the product, then it's perfect. My old wallet is too fast and useful.
posted by davelog at 8:15 AM on September 29, 2006

Patend (sic) Pending Design!
posted by devbrain at 8:20 AM on September 29, 2006

It looks like a Jimi but not as good....and the site is terrible.
posted by oh pollo! at 8:23 AM on September 29, 2006

Most idealistic people are skint

Yeah, that's why they hang out at Buck's. Because Woodside is just chock full of poor folks, power-breakfasting with the VCs from Sandhill Road. Not to mention the affective use of the word skint to imply that this guy's read something published earlier than 1995. I smell a poser of some kind or another and I'm pretty sure I don't want to buy his wallet.
posted by doctor_negative at 8:23 AM on September 29, 2006

I was thinking I'd buck the trends and say something positive about some little tchochke that a dude made to sell with a name like wallet 2.0, but I cannot, sorry. It looks like a very small rubber filing cabinet for bandaids, which is simply not what I'm demanding for the future of a small, cheap thing to carry some ID, business cards, a blank check or two and my debit card. In fact upon consideration the wallet of the future is the same as the wallet of the past, a flat nylon package with some velcro to hold it closed that does not make me feel like I'm sitting on a deck of cards.

No one here is actually so bereft of sense as to carry cash or god help us coins in their actual wallet are they?
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:30 AM on September 29, 2006

An infinitely more useful thing would be bluetooth locks for your car, home, & office. Then a little Java program on your mobile could open them.

Wallets without a space for coins are stupid. Countries who use bills instead of coins for amounts below 5 euros/dollars are stupid. And 0.01, 0.02, 0.05, and 0.10 euro coins are stupid too.

And all portable devices must standardize their power supplies & cables too. And SB must switch to a vertically symmetric connector (i.e. no up or down).

And genetically modified fartless beans. And inflatable shoes.
posted by jeffburdges at 8:41 AM on September 29, 2006

If it looks like the Jimi, it's got to be silly, but I still can't hit the site. Anyhoo, as long as we're pepsi bluing all over the house today (so maybe Flash Fridays really are dead) I finally just broke my JCrew Magic Wallet, after 8 years of abuse. Best wallet in the world.
posted by DenOfSizer at 8:44 AM on September 29, 2006

Divine Wino:

No one here is actually so bereft of sense as to carry cash or god help us coins in their actual wallet are they?

::blink::

No, I just use it to ferry around old receipts and expired library cards, while keeping the real loot concealed somewhere much more secure, a la Christopher Walken.
posted by Corey Feldman and the Goatse National Orchestra at 8:49 AM on September 29, 2006

I carry my cash in a burlap sack with a dollar sign stenciled on it.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:52 AM on September 29, 2006

No one here is actually so bereft of sense as to carry cash or god help us coins in their actual wallet are they?

I use cash for everything except very large purchases and bill paying.
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:55 AM on September 29, 2006

DenOfSizer: They sell those same wallets at craft fairs and so forth for closer to $5.
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:56 AM on September 29, 2006

I carry my cash in a burlap sack with a dollar sign stenciled on it.
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:52 AM CST on September 29 [+] [!]

I carry my cash, along with all of my possessions, in a bundle of checkered cloth tied around a stick, which is then slung over my shoulder. Brother, can you spare a dime?
posted by COBRA! at 9:00 AM on September 29, 2006

Wallets without a space for coins are stupid.

I believe Divine Wino is sporting a design of wallet that would suit your needs perfectly.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:02 AM on September 29, 2006

Well burglin' aside I actually carry cash, I just carry it in my pocket not my wallet, for ease of access and because that way if some pickpocket gets my wallet on the cattlecar train I still have some money for a couple tall cans of hi-life.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:04 AM on September 29, 2006

Wallet 2.0 = stupid.
The forthcoming elephant tourniquets, however, are pure genius. The uses are only endless!
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 9:11 AM on September 29, 2006

Although it can't be put in your back pocket, I find that an Otterbox does all that the Wallet 2.0 does, and more. I suppose you could make little folders for them if you really wanted to.
posted by nekton at 9:15 AM on September 29, 2006

OMG! 2.0 IS TEH AWESOME! I'M GOING TO MAKE EVERYTHING 2.0!!

Step 1) Normal-product-name-here 2.0
Step 2) ???
Step 3) PROFIT!!!
posted by redbeard at 9:35 AM on September 29, 2006

posted by boo_radley at 9:39 AM on September 29, 2006

I stopped carrying money in my wallet ages ago. Now it's just for ID and discount cards and the like. All my cash goes in my front pocket in a money clip. It just seems easier than fumbling around when I'm trying to buy something with cash.

Also, nekton is right, otterboxes are great. They are like little tiny Pelican cases.
posted by quin at 9:40 AM on September 29, 2006

Whoops -- I'd intended to comment that something similar were sold as surfer wallets back when I was a kid. Locked tight, hung from a lanyard around my neck as I bobbed into the Atlantic ocean, and it inevitably wound up getting off my neck and drifting gently past where my mother would allow me to swim, casting my allowance and bus pass to an eternity of briny wandering.
posted by boo_radley at 9:43 AM on September 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

I keep all my money in gold bullion. Once a month, I melt down a bar and inject it into my femur; that's my spending money for that month. Sure, the process smarts a little—but it's probably a lot more comfortable than trying to sit on one of the rubber bricks these guys are peddling.
posted by Iridic at 9:54 AM on September 29, 2006

Do you tend to walk in little circles?
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:10 AM on September 29, 2006

Poor, non-secure, design that would be easily pick-pocketed. Impractical. Ugly colors.

Prediction: failure.
posted by tkchrist at 10:24 AM on September 29, 2006

All I want is the thinnest possible wallet still capable of holding at least eight plastic cards and paper bills. So far, slim bi-fold leather wallets for $20 at the department store have yet to find their equal.

Wallets without a space for coins are stupid.

Keeping coins in a wallet is stupid. You're thinking of a purse or manbag at that point. Better yet, there are such things as coin purses.
posted by linux at 10:30 AM on September 29, 2006

Don't trust anyone who keeps his change in his wallet - Bruce McCulloch

BTW - Web 2.0, where do you put the tags?
posted by phirleh at 10:37 AM on September 29, 2006

Umbra was all over this years ago. I've got a clear capped one and it rocked back in 2003.
posted by Extopalopaketle at 10:50 AM on September 29, 2006

Stupid iPod generation.
posted by HTuttle at 10:50 AM on September 29, 2006

I didn't realize that Web2.0 was all PHP wrappers for pages laid out in JPEG. Where does that leave me and all my 733t RDF? In grad school they said this stuff would be important.
posted by Fezboy! at 10:53 AM on September 29, 2006

"The Birth" webcomic was unreadable. If the wallet is as bad as the promotional material I predict a class-action lawsuit in their future.
posted by lekvar at 11:13 AM on September 29, 2006

I don't have any money, so I don't bother carrying anything with me. I rarely even bother to wear pants.
posted by Bageena at 11:14 AM on September 29, 2006

I don't carry any cash. I just walk around with a small bottle of paint in my pocket, along with a sable brush. Whenever I need to pay for something, or present ID, I'll dip the brush in the paint, dab a few swift strokes on a wall or a table, and write Picasso's name at the bottom.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:23 AM on September 29, 2006

I carry my cash in a burlap sack with a dollar sign stenciled on it.

you should see his domino mask and knit hat.
posted by jonmc at 11:28 AM on September 29, 2006

I thought the Ocean Pacific nylon wallets with a velcro fastener was Wallet 2.0. And yes, Divine Wino, there was a place for coins!

This thing is Wallet 2007 Preview Edition.
posted by birdherder at 11:31 AM on September 29, 2006

If the wallet is as bad as the promotional material I predict a class-action lawsuit in their future.

I'm imagining some guy carrying fireworks around in it that go off due to the static built up on the plastic.
posted by sonofsamiam at 11:34 AM on September 29, 2006

NO COINS IN MY WALLET. Do whatever you want with your wallet but if you are standing in front of me taking five minutes to get everything in and out of your wallet because you don't understand how pockets work, just know that I am wishing you a bowel obstruction.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:51 AM on September 29, 2006

> Better yet, if you happen to be a little old
> lady, there are such things as coin purses.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:13 PM on September 29, 2006

What we need is to destigmatize man bags.
posted by delmoi at 12:39 PM on September 29, 2006

The forthcoming elephant tourniquets, however, are pure genius. The uses are only endless!

Hmm. I see that my jock strap is suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome and needs replacing. One of these elephant tourniquets might serve as a useful replacement.

In fact, these things might even be big enough to hold my money, my nuts *and* my chronic sack? I'd better call Snoop and let him know about this product right away.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:43 PM on September 29, 2006

I made my first duct tape wallet in 1992. I made another and gave it to Matt Cameron, then the drummer of Soundgarden. Subsequently, an interview in Rolling Stone described Chris Cornell making his own duct tape wallet.

But duct tape is so 90's, I now make them out of polypropylene adhesive tape, designed to adhere to the slick surface of Tyvek vapor barriers. I make my own credit card protectors out of Tyvek.

I'd like to believe I "invented" the duct tape wallet, but I'm probably wrong.

Like apple pie, some things are better made at home.
posted by Tube at 1:11 PM on September 29, 2006

All the (hetero) men on here need to do is get married, and then make your wife carry all your stuff around in her purse.

Or at least that's what my husband did.

Maybe he needs a murse?
posted by thekilgore at 1:11 PM on September 29, 2006

Metafilter: Wow!!! Amazingly, web site has become a true technological acheivement.

Metafilter: My goodness, does everyone ' s life revolve inside the internet?

All I want is the thinnest possible wallet still capable of holding at least eight plastic cards and paper bills.

That would be the All-Ett. I'm sitting on one right now… or am I?
posted by designbot at 1:31 PM on September 29, 2006

I'd avoid it, thekilgore. Even Jack Bauer has a hard time rocking that look.
posted by Iridic at 1:32 PM on September 29, 2006

I call bullshit, at least as to the purported identities involved. No native speaker of the English language generated this deathless prose:

"We always thing this is a problem that we need to solve, that’s why we got this: Pakall SHEET, the original multi-purposes packing sheet. You could use this sheet not only to pack your stuffs with our well designed structure, but also use it a shopping bag, picnic cloth, cloak, as long as your imagination goes!"

And besides: "Steve Gates"?!
posted by adamgreenfield at 2:01 PM on September 29, 2006

Let us end this thread now.

All thinking peoples carry thier wealth and identification around inside the tanned outer flesh of some kind of dead animal r'other.

It is why the lower life forms evolved. So we could kill them for sport, eat them, wear them, use them for luggage, or make them wear funny outfits on Halloween.

You put your money in dead animals! Unless your hopelesy stuck in the 1980's and you use a nylon velcro wallet. Barbarian.

Oh. Excepting diamonds. And perhaps emeralds. Those one should keep safely tucked inside a plastic bag (with your coke) inserted in your rectum.

Rectum? Damn near KILLED'em.
posted by tkchrist at 2:04 PM on September 29, 2006

I had a zippered bifold wallet with a nice big zippered pouch in it for change and a spare key. Took about as much time to find coins in it as it did from a normal pocket.

I got very used to not having to put change in my pockets when I left home, not having to take it out when I got home, and yet always having a quarter when I needed it.

After about 10 years of abuse it finally was too full of holes to keep using, so it was replaced... with an inferior trifold with no change pocket. It manages to be bulkier and less functional.
I am a sad panda.
posted by Foosnark at 3:58 PM on September 29, 2006

Anyone see the Moleskine used to show relative size? Now that is targeting a demographic.

spoken by a man who owns 2 Moleskines and a Timbuk2 wallet/billfold and wishes he was more hip, 2.0 style
posted by rossination at 6:45 PM on September 29, 2006

The reason this is dumb is that everything is equally weighted. That's no good, because really, it probably should be easier to grab some cash quickly than to dig out your social security card. A traditional 2- or (yeech) 3-fold wallet is balanced for money first, ID second, plastic third, and everything else last. I think you'll find in day-to-day life, that's about right.

In the same vein, it adds an additional step to get your money. that blows, since that's what you're going to be doing 95% of the time. And don't even talk to me about change. This thing would sit on the back of your ass like a fucking brick if you actually accomdated change. And what the fuck are you doing paying for things in change, anyway? Fuck that. Use cash like a grown-up and get the fuck out of the line so the rest of us can order. :)
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:19 PM on September 29, 2006

C_D: We can't move forward without change.
posted by weston at 7:58 PM on September 29, 2006

If you're gonna rock the man purse, you can to an awful lot worse than Indy did...
posted by stenseng at 12:18 AM on September 30, 2006

I found the jimi from a green thread awhile ago and haven't looked back since.

I really love my jimi. I often get reactions and questions from people when I use or show them my jimi. They often seem to get really interested and excited about my jimi.

That sounds so wrong.
posted by rfbjames at 1:17 AM on September 30, 2006

Seems so complicated, and uncomfortable to put in a back pocket.
posted by proph3t at 9:22 AM on September 30, 2006

All I want is the thinnest possible wallet still capable of holding at least eight plastic cards and paper bills.

That would be the All-Ett.

I dunno, designbot. I've got one of those rubber bike innertube jobs, and it's *damn* slim. And it won't even piss off that treehugging hippie tkchrist.

For the record, I do keep coins in there sometimes, mostly cuz I don't like them jangling in my pocket when I'm running. I usually jog places rather than walk. I also like giving change more than getting it, so I always try to keep some around.

Did that comic really end after just 4 pages? Huh. I thought there would be some kind of payoff.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:35 AM on September 30, 2006

Keeping coins in a wallet is stupid.

When you live in a country where the smallest bill is worth about USD 9.36, you better believe you need to carry some coins around with you and have them easily accessible in a wallet.
posted by grouse at 2:00 PM on October 1, 2006