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Sarcastic Sex Toy Reviews!
October 5, 2006 8:26 PM   Subscribe

Do you want a titty blow mastrubator? Comedian mericilessly mocks bad sex toy packaging. The question is- does she use them?
posted by juliarothbort (15 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

Unfortunately, she doesn't review the Boku No Sexual Harassment Cornbrator Hyper Wank Device.
posted by Kickstart70 at 8:43 PM on October 5, 2006 [5 favorites]

The ambiguously-named Cyberskin 3" Penis Extension causes me, first off, to wonder whether the ware on offer is a three-inch extension for a penis, or an extension for a three-inch penis

There are comedy blogs and there are sex blogs, there are even comedic sex blogs and no doubt sexy comedic blogs. This isn't any of those.
posted by Science! at 8:50 PM on October 5, 2006

"Unfortunately, she doesn't review the Boku No Sexual Harassment Cornbrator Hyper Wank Device."

That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I love the internets!


posted by bibliowench at 9:36 PM on October 5, 2006

...complete with three ready and willing holes.

I think all love dolls these days come with three holes. While some people are offended by the sexual use of one or more of the three referenced orifices, those people are not generally among the consumers of inflatable love dolls. I think the overlap in that Venn Diagram would be virtually nil. ("I want a love doll, but not a dirty whore love doll! Why don't you make single-orifice love dolls with their eyes shut so they can think about God? I'm writing to my Congressman, you pervert three-holed, open-eyed, whore-love-doll manufacturers!")

I probably will never return to that site, but it made me laugh out loud.
posted by pwb503 at 9:49 PM on October 5, 2006

Thanks, julia — comedy gold. But like Kickstart70, I feel it's incomplete: Where's the Silicone Bi-Polar Electric Cockring (NSFW)? ("Poaches eggs in a jiffy, too!")
posted by rob511 at 10:03 PM on October 5, 2006

It's considerate of her to provide a 'click to buy' link with each of the sex toys she sarcastically reviews.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 1:43 AM on October 6, 2006

Considerate? How about suspicious considering this is an early morning single link post to an advertising based blog from a brand new user with an empty profile? They even like their post so much they faved it.

Something smells a bit fishy but that may just be that the blog author didn't use ForPlay's Adult Toy Cleaner which uses powerful ingredients for maximum results!
posted by srboisvert at 5:07 AM on October 6, 2006

Just makes me miss when Gram Ponante did Martital Aid Test Kitchen. That's actually funny porn writing.

posted by now i'm piste at 6:17 AM on October 6, 2006

Vague chucklery ensues.
posted by squirrel at 7:14 AM on October 6, 2006

NSFW warning would have been nice.
posted by rubyeyo at 7:32 AM on October 6, 2006

"sex toy" appears in the body of the post.

While I am all about NSFW flags, it says sex toy. In the body. Of the post.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 8:03 AM on October 6, 2006

Unfortunately, she doesn't review the Boku No Sexual Harassment Cornbrator Hyper Wank Device.

Ah, back when Japanese sex toys were disguised as kid's toys. So, so disturbing...
posted by juliarothbort at 8:20 AM on October 6, 2006

Just a heads-up that this thread has been MeTa'd because someone thinks the OP is suspicious.
posted by briank at 8:56 AM on October 6, 2006

LarryC's comment wins that thread:

"The lack of evidence is certainly suspicious!"
posted by aerotive at 10:13 AM on October 6, 2006

"Jennifer Dziura" isn't her real name, is it? (Because "dziura" = "hole" in Polish.)
posted by pracowity at 2:51 PM on October 6, 2006

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