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You, sir, have the boorish manners of a Yalie.
October 10, 2006 9:01 AM   Subscribe

Impossible Is Nothing. Yale student applies for job on Wall Street, includes video detailing his physical prowess and philosophy of success. Hilarity ensues: "He single-handedly decreased trading volumes over the last two hours of the day because everyone was laughing too hard." Perhaps not surprisingly, there are some problems with his story.
posted by Gamblor (156 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

 
Poor guy. What assholes the people on Wall Street are.
posted by koeselitz at 9:07 AM on October 10, 2006


Okay, hadn't read the last two links there. He's not so great. I don't feel that bad now.
posted by koeselitz at 9:09 AM on October 10, 2006


ha! he's a shoo-in for the next apprentice.
what a maroon!
posted by Busithoth at 9:09 AM on October 10, 2006


That's a Yalie for ya.
posted by caddis at 9:11 AM on October 10, 2006


Poor guy? Did you read the bit about all of his plagiarism, koeselitz?

I think it would be utterly breathtaking if this were a prank on the part of the student, who was actually a comp sci major or something. Failing something that cool, the kid needs a spanking and probably some counseling.

On preview, caddis, yes. Yes, that is a Yalie.
posted by gurple at 9:13 AM on October 10, 2006


"I am not certified in any Western sense of the word, neither in Chinese medicine, Tui-Na, Shaolin trauma medicine, nor in acupuncture, all of which I practice extensively never-the-less."

I can dig it.
posted by Salmonberry at 9:15 AM on October 10, 2006


From the comments section in the 3rd link:

"I played for Yale tennis, and he tried to walk on the team. He got cut the second day. I had one conversation with him, and he claimed to have KILLED 24 people in the caves of Tibet. Claims they were "fight to the death" tournaments. He is a pathological liar, and he is sick. He needs to seek help."
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:19 AM on October 10, 2006


Wow, impressively dim.

It takes years of coddling to reach that level of reality distortion.
posted by leotrotsky at 9:19 AM on October 10, 2006


Don't forget that the people who forwarded the mail around Wall Street had no idea that the guy was a fraud, his companies were fakes, his work was plagiarised and so on. They were just being smug assholes.
posted by Hogshead at 9:20 AM on October 10, 2006 [2 favorites]


On the second link there's a note that this guy claimed to be one of four people certified to handle nuclear waste.

I've met complusive liars like this before. I've determined the only way to deal with them is to smile courteously as they lie, and without a word, give them a wedgie.
posted by Pastabagel at 9:21 AM on October 10, 2006


Clearly there's something not quite right with this fella.
posted by clevershark at 9:22 AM on October 10, 2006


They were just being smug assholes.

Oh, come on, now. A little schadenfreude does not a smug asshole make.
posted by gurple at 9:23 AM on October 10, 2006


It takes years of coddling to reach that level of reality distortion.

So you're saying you have definitive proof he didn't kill 24 people in the caves of Tibet?
posted by gompa at 9:23 AM on October 10, 2006


If this guy has his own investment firm, why would he want to work at someone else's? Running an investment firm isn't exactly a part-time job.
posted by clevershark at 9:25 AM on October 10, 2006


That motherfucker thinks he's Chuck Norris! I really enjoyed the bit where he benches the 10 big plates (close to 500 lbs/225 kg methinks). Did he not think there would be a bit of skepticism regarding the 3 "spotters"?

I guess he did OK on his SATs though. Way to go Yale!

(Ya they turned me down, so what?)
posted by Mister_A at 9:28 AM on October 10, 2006


He has no investment firm.

Dear Cecil: Is there really such a thing as a pathological liar?

"The best definition was put forth 50 years ago by L. S. Selling: 'a person having a constellation of symptoms ... characterized psychopathologically by a very definite tendency to tell untruths about matters which perhaps could be easily verified and which untruths may serve no obvious purpose.'"
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:28 AM on October 10, 2006


This guy obviously needs to be made President (assuming the job of the president is to deflect attention away from the secret global cabal that really runs things). Either that or he needs to go work for my property management landlord who makes similar outrageous claims, such as "we'll get that fixed right away"
posted by Staggering Jack at 9:32 AM on October 10, 2006


He says Napolean Hill summed up his philospohy best.
posted by orthogonality at 9:34 AM on October 10, 2006


No, I am one of the four people in the state of Connecticut qualified to handle nuclear waste.
posted by parmanparman at 9:34 AM on October 10, 2006 [2 favorites]


Wait. He says stuff like he's a hazmat-certified ninja with Pat Robertsonesque weighlifting skills, and people believe him? I know people who say stuff like that, but do it with a twinkle in their eye, trying to be funny. Maybe this guy is attempting, inappropriately of course, to make one big joke.
posted by notswedish at 9:35 AM on October 10, 2006


They were just being smug assholes

Right because when some poor, misguided soul (see the whole my boyfriend won't get a job and i'm 18K in debt askmefi thread) wanders into THIS community we show the restraint of Mother Theresa.
posted by spicynuts at 9:40 AM on October 10, 2006 [1 favorite]


Yale Daily News: Vayner Faces Scrutiny After Charity Subterfuge.
posted by ericb at 9:40 AM on October 10, 2006


"...Vayner/Garber claimed that he has trouble flying on planes because he has to register his hands as lethal weapons each time he goes to an airport." [source]
posted by ericb at 9:41 AM on October 10, 2006


As I was saying to my wife...Morgan Fairchild...whom I have seen naked...this guy is a complete wackjob!
posted by briank at 9:42 AM on October 10, 2006


Oh and at least he follow his own philosophy, to wit: If you're going to lie, LIE, passionately.
posted by spicynuts at 9:42 AM on October 10, 2006


Vayner Capital does not show up on the Dun and Bradstreet database for the address listed in the WHOIS on the domain, as if there was any doubt that this guy is a prankster or a fraud.
posted by dr_dank at 9:43 AM on October 10, 2006


"Vayner was profiled in the Yale Rumpus in May of 2002 after visiting Yale as a prefrosh. The profile outlined Vayner's many fabrications, including his claims that he was employed by both the Mafia and the CIA during his childhood and that he gave tennis lessons to Harrison Ford and Sarah Michelle Gellar."
posted by ericb at 9:44 AM on October 10, 2006


They were just being smug assholes.

Or perhaps they are eminently qualified to judge the resumes of someone seeking the jobs they already have.

Seriously, what is it with self-promotional ex-Uzbeks? I imagine that capitalism in the FSR zone is very much robber-baron-esque, but jeez.

This also just reminds me of the very bad "contemporary" hairdos that Soviet apparatchiks used to have ... their chief spokesman during the Gorby era had a coif blow-dried to the size of a small moon. Somehow this fits in, like they're imitating Westerners based on nothing but out-of-date movies and TV.
posted by dhartung at 9:44 AM on October 10, 2006




When Vayner rolls, he rolls big.
posted by dhammond at 9:44 AM on October 10, 2006


Even the title of his little self-promotional film is ripped from Adidas ads.
posted by clevershark at 9:48 AM on October 10, 2006


spicynuts: Right because when some poor, misguided soul...wanders into THIS community we show the restraint of Mother Theresa.

Out there, the world can be a cold, cruel place. In here, we only kid because we love.
posted by Gamblor at 9:48 AM on October 10, 2006


what is it with self-promotional ex-Uzbeks? I imagine that capitalism in the FSR zone is very much robber-baron-esque
Apparently though in Kazahkstan it's rather sacha-baron-esque
posted by Flashman at 9:48 AM on October 10, 2006 [2 favorites]


The Yale Rumpus article [PDF].
posted by ericb at 9:49 AM on October 10, 2006


I had a roommate once, a student at a competitive university, who honestly believed he was the literal "Prince" of Mexico. Turned out his mother worked in a shoe factory in Oklahoma, and had gotten knocked up by some Mexican drifter.

After many grandiose stories (and his announcement that he'd be turning our group house's second story into an unspecified "business" catering to his rich and connected classmates -- I was guessing drugs or whores), he skipped out on the rent and we never again saw him.

That's the last time I've lived with roommates.
posted by orthogonality at 9:50 AM on October 10, 2006


I killed this guy in a cave in Tibet, then brought him back to life with Shaolin trauma medicine. Impossible? Impossible is nothing.
posted by bobot at 10:00 AM on October 10, 2006


I have to think this is some kind of prank. I could understand one guy having schizophrenic delusions, but it took at least two people to make that video.
posted by mkultra at 10:01 AM on October 10, 2006 [1 favorite]


If this guy was 10 years older and had made a few million, people would pay to watch that video.

And the video would still be as hilarious.
posted by sohcahtoa at 10:02 AM on October 10, 2006


He's the new Jason Fortuny. Or something like that.
Here today, hopefully gone back to Tibet tomorrow.
posted by willmize at 10:04 AM on October 10, 2006


How do we know this isn't a kind of hilarious self-parody? It seems to me that the guy is parodying the peak performance philosophy of people with platinum resumes full of stellar accomplishments.

What reason is there to think this isn't a gag on his part?
posted by jayder at 10:06 AM on October 10, 2006


Hmm, now that I think about it, I went to school with a guy who claimed to be a prince of Morocco and also that his grandparents owned the Pierre hotel. He also claimed to have done quite a bit of modelling, despite being ugly as sin.

I suppose I'm not enhancing the credibility of my school when I admit at this point that I went to Yale.

Then again, I'm very rarely enhancing the credibility of my school when I admit that I went to Yale.
posted by gurple at 10:06 AM on October 10, 2006 [2 favorites]


I have a feeling that if you went out drinking with this guy, it'd end up with him in the fetal position behind the shower curtain, with all his clothes on, water running, crying, muttering something incoherant about pete sampras.
posted by milarepa at 10:07 AM on October 10, 2006


I heard he was hunting wolverines in Alaska with Napolean and his Uncle. He used his bare hands, not a freakin 12 guage. GOSH!
posted by maxpower at 10:08 AM on October 10, 2006


My first instinct was "gag" as well. i.e. "look how clever I am, i invented the internets"
posted by craven_morhead at 10:09 AM on October 10, 2006


I heard that he smells like Big Foot's dick!
posted by spicynuts at 10:10 AM on October 10, 2006


I knew a guy like this in college, too: he had green blood. Copper-based physiology, instead of iron, you see. Very rare condition. Unless you're an octopus. Would neither confirm nor deny that it gave him super powers. Was often rather insistent about neither confirming nor denying it. At great length. And that was just one of his stories.

Once you learned to just nod and smile until he was done confabulating, he was actually a pretty good guy. Took some quiet explaining every time somebody new was exposed to his schtick, though.
posted by ook at 10:12 AM on October 10, 2006


Je suis Napoleon!
posted by Smedleyman at 10:13 AM on October 10, 2006


until i read the last two links, i was utterly convinced this guy is a genius

think about it ... he submitted a video resume that was so over the top, so cliched and yet, so appealing to a certain kind of "do or die" employer that he got people to distribute it, not only all over wall street, but all over the internet

45,000 hits on you tube so far

think about it ... all he needs is ONE job ... ONE sucker to watch it and say, "THAT'S the kind of kid i want to hire"

unfortunately, with the fake charity and the phoney sports medicine angle and the clueless "invasion of privacy" talk, he's showing himself to be merely clueless ... but again ... all he needs to have is ONE person who doesn't know all that

a little more maturity and quite a bit more consistency and he's going to go somewhere if he tries for honorable things ... and perhaps, even if he doesn't

of course, if it's a total fake, then he is a genius
posted by pyramid termite at 10:13 AM on October 10, 2006


I didn't go to Yale, BTW. In case there was any doubt.
posted by ook at 10:13 AM on October 10, 2006


I killed 24 People in Tibetan Cave Fights and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt
posted by prostyle at 10:16 AM on October 10, 2006 [2 favorites]


Look, I know this guy personally. He has problems, sure, but they are not the sort you are talking about. His problems are that he is being cheated left and right. The most glaring example is that Joss Whedon totally ripped off this guy's life story to make the Angel/Buffy universe. See I knew him back in the 18th century when he was known as Alexseyelus. Now that he has a soul (which was given to him by a werewolf priestess rather than Gypsies) he is supposed to be fulfilling the prophecy rather than trying to lead a normal life.

I am a bit angry about the Tibet deathmatches. Pretending to be a mortal and fighting in mortal battles IS fraudulent and unacceptable. I could always take him in a fight though, so maybe I need to look him up and knock some sense into his thick head. He has no business drawing this much attention to himself anyway, he should be in the shadows fighting the impending apocalypse. I knew he'd let that damn prophecy go to his head.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 10:20 AM on October 10, 2006 [11 favorites]


Weretable...thank you for making my day.
posted by spicynuts at 10:24 AM on October 10, 2006


My new fighting technique is also a mix of Shaolin and Street Fighter II.
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 10:24 AM on October 10, 2006


model mayhem.
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 10:26 AM on October 10, 2006


Metafilter: a mix of Shaolin and Street Fighter II
posted by toastchee at 10:29 AM on October 10, 2006


I killed 24 people at Yale. Nobody noticed.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:30 AM on October 10, 2006


He is a pathological liar, and he is sick. He needs to seek help.

I'd say he has a very bright future in politics or corporate executive leadership, provided he doesn't seek help.

Oh, and Cornell can kick Yale's ass in hockey any day.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 10:32 AM on October 10, 2006


He's not misguided, he's probably traumatized. And crazy as a shithouse rat. The Yale Rumpus profile is illuminating.

/actually read it just now.

//may never boast again.
posted by Phred182 at 10:36 AM on October 10, 2006




He's not a bad person, he's an ill person.
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:39 AM on October 10, 2006


Here is a direct link to the Rumpus article on Aleksey then-Garber. Pages 12 - 13. (pdf)
posted by ambulance blues at 10:42 AM on October 10, 2006


He has no business drawing this much attention to himself anyway, he should be in the shadows fighting the impending apocalypse.

You're in it with the aliens, aren't you. Oh well, until the apocalypse I guess I can still buy shares in Rupert Murdoch's snakedumb-industrial complex.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:45 AM on October 10, 2006


You know, Yale does have a renowned theater dept, right? Help me out here Gurple the Yalie.

So maybe it is a joke. If it is, he's being very thorough what with the cut 'n' paste Cease 'n Desist orders and so on. The thing is, it would look JUST LIKE THIS if he was seriously delusional too. The weightlifting stuff though, come on... you know the second you try to bench 500 lb. whether you can actually do it or not. Turns out, for most folks, not.

So I posit a third way - delusional, but in the sense that he knows he didn't actually kill 24 dudes in Tibet, etc., but thinks that people are so stupid that they won't figure it out. Or delusional in the sense that he thinks he's PT Barnum, who was a doggone genius. I really think this guy thought he was putting this stuff over on the rubes... This way to the great egress!
posted by Mister_A at 10:46 AM on October 10, 2006


More than just entertainment. Now imagine that all cults are run by people with NPD and they have command control over public policy. If you don't know fifty posers just like this, count yourself lucky.
posted by Brian B. at 10:48 AM on October 10, 2006 [1 favorite]


I worked with at least nineteen identical versions of this person during the dot com boom.
posted by Peter H at 10:48 AM on October 10, 2006 [1 favorite]


I used to work with a guy who claimed to have diplomatic immunity from the days when the Soviet government went through the CIA and contracted him to install the network routers in Chernobyl. Apparently, he had to carry the routers with him on a C-130 in a diplomatic pouch. Somewhere behind the iron curtain, he was transferred into a Soviet transport plane. He used to offer to kill people for me, since he could escape prosecution. How he wound up working the night shift at a telecom in Kansas City is anyone's guess. Must have been some sort of covert operation to cover his tracks.

Anyway, he was eventually fired for sleeping on the job. Amazingly, my boss survived the process of sacking him.
posted by daveleck at 10:50 AM on October 10, 2006 [1 favorite]



You know, Yale does have a renowned theater dept, right? Help me out here Gurple the Yalie.


Actually I've been hoping that someone will somehow find out that this guy's a Pundit (the Pundits are a Yale comedy troupe that has occasionally been known to be clever), but as far as I can tell no one's making that assertion.
posted by gurple at 10:57 AM on October 10, 2006


Holy crap. It's a real life Bill Brasky. Outstanding.
posted by xmutex at 10:57 AM on October 10, 2006


He says Napolean Hill summed up his philospohy best.

Why am I not surprised this guy cites Napolean Hill. I tried to read "Think and Grow Rich" but it was so badly written and so purposely obtuse and misogynistic that I couldn't take more than two chapters.

Armchair DX: NPD (narcissistic personality disorder)

SSRI's and some CBT or DBT could set this guy on the straight and narrow.

Of course he might be a little less awesome after all that.
posted by hotmud at 10:57 AM on October 10, 2006


Conan O'Brien should hire him as a character on the show. He obviously has a very creative mind.
posted by MegoSteve at 11:03 AM on October 10, 2006


Mock him if you must, but success is a mental mindset that comes from the brain, and he has proven his abilities in all aspects of life that prepare one to meet today's challenges head on and up front with power and skill and the dexterity required to reach the top of the mountain, for which only the true champions will encounter because proper preparation is needed to prepare oneself in all aspects of life, and to find the success.
posted by jefbla at 11:07 AM on October 10, 2006


Yea sure does look like the narcissistic personality disorder. Nice work Brian B.
posted by Mister_A at 11:11 AM on October 10, 2006


Those bricks... prefractured? Seems like a pretty clean break on a stack of so many bricks.
posted by GuyZero at 11:15 AM on October 10, 2006


Here's a theory, very low on the plausibility scale but very high on the amusement scale:

Aleksey Vayner was born to Belorussian parents stuck in lousy functionary jobs in Siberia. Aleksey Sr. fell afoul of local party authorities, and he sent his wife and young son into exile in Mongolia just ahead of the KGB. Overwhelmed by the tragedy and unable to handle parenthood, Mrs Vayner allowed her son to be raised by Mongolian yakherds. As he ranged over the vast Asian plateau, young Aleksey may or may not have learned secret fighting techniques in the caves of northeastern Tibet.

At any rate, the boy - now a teenager - eventually met up with an American oil-company geologist who, appalled by Aleksey's lack of education, brought him home to America. School enrollment proved impossible, and the geologist wasn't really prepared for full-time fatherhood, so he would drop the kid off at the local mall every day on his way to work. Aleksey, Daryl-Hannah-in-Splashlike, was drawn to the flashiest store in the mall. It was in this way that the lad learned to speak English - and to acclimate culturally to his new home - at a Successories store.

Aleksey, now the perfect product of American corporate vacuousness, cons his way into a good prep school and then the Ivy League by sheer force of slick indomitable will. The rest is history.

Just a theory.

And by "theory," I mean "treatment." Jerry Bruckheimer, if you're reading this, have your people call my people.
posted by gompa at 11:22 AM on October 10, 2006 [2 favorites]


Peter: See, look, there's Harvard.
Pope: That's just a barn.
Peter: Ooooh, someone went to Yale!
posted by clevershark at 11:39 AM on October 10, 2006


after reading the article on his sister on money.cnn.com, this seems especially sad to me. he's trying to make it through elaborate lies and doomed self-promotions, while she is legitimately (per the article, anyway) pulling herself up by her boostraps in real estate. I wonder what she thinks of him?
posted by trichomaniac at 11:41 AM on October 10, 2006


bootstraps, that is.
posted by trichomaniac at 11:42 AM on October 10, 2006


shitgoddamn. site is down. 'body got a mirror?
posted by Afroblanco at 11:43 AM on October 10, 2006


One of the comments on the ivygateblog reads:

This is on "FoxNews" right now. They think he posted it on youtube. You need to contact them with the cease and desist letter. Completely out this guy. They think he is an innovator!

Is this for real? Did FoxNews fall for this?
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 11:44 AM on October 10, 2006


"Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I prefer gin.'"
posted by cusack at 11:46 AM on October 10, 2006


He should have gone to clown college. (My apologies for referring to Princeton that way)
posted by Smedleyman at 11:46 AM on October 10, 2006


That was already a mirror of a dow jones news feed. I can't find another at the moment, but here's a similar piece in The Sun.
posted by Gamblor at 11:59 AM on October 10, 2006


Could a typical young man, armed only with a pommel horse, be trained to consistently "win" fights with a Yalie from Parmistan? Assume no element of surprise.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:06 PM on October 10, 2006 [2 favorites]


This all sounds sadly familiar, especially after reading his pre-frosh profile. I've known two pathological liars in my life -- delusions of grandeur, narcissistic personality syndrome, the whole thing. One of them was a kid in the neighborhood, and I would see his parents' faces fall every time he opened his mouth. I heard at least one other parent get fed up once and actually call him on it -- "Stephen, you KNOW that's not true!" -- but I think that only made it worse. His parents, on the occasions I saw them, just looked stricken and sad, and never once said anything to counter his endless stream of make-believe, about which he was incredibly sincere.

The other one was this kid on IRC about a dozen years ago who made the very same kinds of claims Vayner does. Myriad accomplishments and expertise in countless fields, etc. Almost right off the bat he claimed to have won the bronze medal in ski jumping at the Lillehammer Olympics. A quick web search revealed the Norwegian guy who had actually won it. "Oh, I used to live in Norway." But your name is Julian, his is *something Norwegian*. "Oh, I changed my name when I moved here a few months ago, it was so hard to pronounce." But this guy's not even the same age as you. "Oh, they must've gotten the age wrong, that happens to me all the time." It was always something.

He was, among many other things, a talented surgeon, a published author, and when informed that I was renowned among my friends as a good cook he told us he was an executive chef, trained in France. (He was unable to define "mirepoix" for me, though.) On and on and on. What he was was a 19 year old homeless kid who was sleeping on people's couches. Sigh.

Vayner sounds just like those two.
posted by chuq at 12:07 PM on October 10, 2006


I worked with a guy like this; the scary thing is that he was so believable. It wasn't until he started telling conflicting stories that he was caught, and then we all felt pretty stupid.

He said he was in medical school (Harvard, of course), but was working full time as a receptionist, and (supposedly) had a part-time job at a Blockbuster. He had a cell phone with a (617) area code so he could call people and make it look like he was calling from Boston, to back up the Harvard med school story.

He said he was born in England but took special speech classes so he wouldn't have a British accent. (I couldn't figure out why he would want to do that). He said he was a male model and had the headshots to "prove" it. He said he was going to move to some unspecified European country and teach English as a second language; one person swore he said that country was England (hee).

Mind you, each of us knew bits and piece of all this; he took care to make sure the stories he told to each person seemed plausible and didn't cancel each other out.

It all started to fall apart when a woman from the office called him in a medical emergency, thinking he would actually be able to help her since he had just graduated from Harvard med, and he called 911 instead. That's when we all started to compare notes. He was fired shortly afterward, and all the crazy came out of the woodwork. I still can't get my head around anyone so delusional.

As to Aleksey here - hmmm. Jury's out. If not for the aforementioned co-worker, I'd just assume this whole thing was a gag, because I couldn't imagine anyone going to this much trouble to so obviously lie about things that can be easily verified. But I know it happens, so I'd say it's about 50/50.

And I just wanted to address one other thing:
Oh, come on, now. A little schadenfreude does not a smug asshole make.

Actually - yeah, it kinda does. And, ahem, guilty as charged.
posted by jennaratrix at 12:08 PM on October 10, 2006


dances_with_sneetches writes "This is on 'FoxNews' right now. They think he posted it on youtube. You need to contact them with the cease and desist letter. Completely out this guy. They think he is an innovator!"

Fox News: Aleksey Vayner (D-FL)
posted by orthogonality at 12:19 PM on October 10, 2006


Is this for real? Did FoxNews fall for this?

Donny Duetsch (CNBC) was on MSNBC this afternoon and thought Aleksey Vayner posted the video on YouTube, "taking advantage of 'new technology'" to show his creativity. He thought it was a brilliant move and the guy should be hired.
posted by ericb at 12:21 PM on October 10, 2006


Yale prank. Jeez. Shtick stolen from the guy from Khazakstan. Creative thinkers go to MIT.
posted by Muirwylde at 12:24 PM on October 10, 2006




"That's the ticket!"
posted by ericb at 12:30 PM on October 10, 2006


It all started to fall apart when a woman from the office called him in a medical emergency

Brings to mind the episode of "Seinfeld" -- George Costanza as the "Marine Biologist."
posted by ericb at 12:36 PM on October 10, 2006


jennaratrix, there is a lot of teaching English as a second language going on in England. (Immigrants learn English = second language) Not that that explains the rest about the person you describe.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 12:46 PM on October 10, 2006


He thought it was a brilliant move and the guy should be hired.

My guess? He'll cop to it.
Despite all evidence to the contrary.
posted by dhartung at 12:48 PM on October 10, 2006


He says Napolean Hill summed up his philospohy best.

I was thinking closer to Napolean Dynamite, but.
posted by snarkywench at 12:54 PM on October 10, 2006


I'm going to assume this whole thing is a joke. I find it hard to believe that such a bullshit artist could get into Yale.
posted by zorro astor at 12:57 PM on October 10, 2006


I'm sorry, most of us can follow the link, but I would like to submit this to Metafilter as part of the permanent record.

Here I quote/post with extreme disbelief the illustrious vitae of Aleskey Vayner:

"ALEKSEY VAYNER
175 Park Street #3A • New Haven, CT 06511 • (203) 823-7026 • Aleksey.Vayner@yale.edu
EDUCATION and CERTIFICATION
Yale University, New Haven, CT anticipated May 2007
B.A., in Eastern-European History
• Spring ’06 course work includes Yale School of Management classes; Real Estate Financing
for Institutional Investors, Investment Management, Financial Statement Analysis, and Private
Equity Investing
SEC anticipated November 2006
NASD Series 65, Registered Investment Advisor
CFP Board/Boston Institute of Finance anticipated July 2007
CFP®, Certification
PUBLICATION
Vayner A. Women’s Silent Tears; A Unique Gendered Perspective On The Holocaust. Lulu Press New
York, NY. August 2006. Available online at http://www.lulu.com/alekseyvayner
EXPERIENCE
Founder/CEO
Youth Empowerment Strategies Inc., Manhattan, NY 2006 - present
• YES is a non-profit, community-based organization that works to enhance the quality of
children's lives by implementing a variety of innovative personal achievement and core skills
development programs in some of NYC’s most troubled neighborhoods; www.empowerachild.org
Investment Advisor 2006 - present
Vayner Capital Management LLC., Manhattan, NY
• Advise clients on risk-adverse investment strategies
Martial Arts Instructor/Trainer 2002 – present
• Taught internal martial arts; student won Korean Nationals Tai-Kwon Do Championships
• Assessed and treated injuries of muscular-skeletal nature with Chinese medicine
• Fixed injured backs of 5 athletes on the Yale Varsity V8 Crew squad which won national finals
Investment Risk Analyst- Internship April 2004 – Sep 2004
The Atlantic Philanthropies (USA) Inc., Manhattan, NY
• Analyzed $4-billion dollar portfolio; analyzed hedge funds
• Developed basic investment strategies (reflecting market risk) of hedge funds’ niche strategies
using Ibbottson Analyzer, and computed correlations to identify real alpha returns by managers
• Produced a memo advising how to re-balance portfolio. Responsible to Albert Hsu, CIO (USA)
Executive Assistant May 2003 – May 2004
Law Offices of Anthony LeCrichia, Manhattan, NY
• Handled confidential communications, court errands, calendar management, administrative
duties, and computer hardware/software assistance
Loan Officer May 2003 – Aug 2003
One Source Mortgage Corp., Hackensack, NJ
• Top-producing loan officer for the month of July, with 27 loans in the pipeline
• Originated loans, prepared/facilitated financial loan packages, projected due diligence reports,
corresponded with borrowers, lenders, title agencies and attorneys.
Tennis Instructor 1996 – 1999
Roosevelt Island Racquet Club, Manhattan, NY
SKILLS
Quantitative - Financial modeling, financial statement analysis, cashflow, risk modeling and
analysis, equity risk premium, portfolio optimization, performance measurement
Computer - Microsoft Office Tools, Ibbotson Analyzer, Excel, MetaStock 8.0, TC2000, LightSpeed,
Calyx, LexisNexis, hardware
Languages - Fluent English, Russian, elementary Spanish
LEADERSHIP
Martial Arts - Tai Chi Chuan master; Shaolin Kung Fu 8th Dan 2001-present
Self-Defense - Teach day-intensive workshops for women (Columbia NYU, Yale, FIT) 2004-present
Powerlifting - 1650lbs leg press (2005), 495 bench press July 2006
Ballroom Dancing - amateur pre-champ Intl. Rumba, gold level in other dances 2003-2006
Tennis - competed on Satellite tour, and nationals. Trained by director of USTA 1992-2005
Video - footage on success: http://www.alekseyvayner.com/Web/videos.php
Affiliations - Society of Competitive Intelligence Professionals, Yale Conservative Party of The
Political Union, Yale Ski Team, Yale Ballroom Dance Team
Hedge Funds Selling Beta as Alpha Returns – Risks and Rewards
in Active Investments
Author: Aleksey Vayner
Print: September 2005 . . ."

posted by tzelig at 1:01 PM on October 10, 2006


Laughing stock? Because greedy, power-hungry liars never achieve success in America, right?

Aleksey Vayner is coming soon to a large corporation and a wealthy neighborhood near you.
posted by DuoJet at 1:23 PM on October 10, 2006 [2 favorites]


Huh. I knew one of these types as well. He claimed a high level of martial arts training, that he used to open for The Cure, that he was a trained chef and sommellier, that he once was a forest ranger in Kenya, that he was a doctor (in Europe) and was involved in nanotech, that he was an engineer and was involved in constructing a space elevator, and on and on and on. No one in the office really ever believed him, we just smiled politely and moved on. We used to joke that in order for all the stories to be true he must have been at least 52 years old, despite his mid-20's appearence.
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:26 PM on October 10, 2006


I knew a girl like this in High School, who was in my theatre group (a makeshift independent thing that some of my friends had started.) She would claim everything from being bron in Tibet (really) to being Jewish (then rectified to being a Jew for Jesus, then sputtering to a halt as her parents called her on it. She was African-American, BTW, which I know isn't 100% non-judaic, but come on.) The lies just piled on top of eachother, to the point where they were simply a joke, and she was at least half-in on the joke, no matter how complusive the fabrications were (and they seemd to be.)

My favorite memory of her was when we were brainstorming fundraising ideas for the aforementioned theatre group, and she started going off on all the celebrities that her family was friends with, and in particular about how she could "probably get Sarah McLachlan to play for us." Kevin, the leader of the group, was dumbstruck for a moment before fnally replying, "If a single word that just came out of your mouth is true... do whatever you can."

Of course it wasn't, but once you got past that tic, which is what it was, she was an alright person. This guy just seems like a schmuck, and the plagiarism doesn't help his case. So yeah, I can sympathize with pathological liars - it is pathological, afterall (or not technically, but you know what I mean.) Still, there's nothing you can do about assholes, and this guy's an asshole.
posted by Navelgazer at 1:51 PM on October 10, 2006


Aleksey Vayner "Secret Tibetan fighting skills/Tai Chi/Shaolin Kung-fu" look remarkably like very low-rent stripmall Tae Kwon Do. As is confirmed by the 1980's style TKD pullover dobak (not a "Gi" as would be worn in Japanese arts) he wore in the video and his mention of it in his Résumé.

And it would help if spelled TAE-Kwon-Do correctly on his fucking resume.
posted by tkchrist at 1:55 PM on October 10, 2006


I can see lying about killing 24 people in the caves of Tibet. But it turns out he lied about being a champion Cha-Cha dancer. Why?!?
posted by Deathalicious at 1:56 PM on October 10, 2006


Guyzero: I too am stuck on the bricks thing. I've heard that some of those sorts of feats are actually really easy to do, but presumably it represents at least some skill. OTOH, it was striking how we never saw the person who was actually breaking the bricks. It was a closeup of bricks being broken and then a cut to him bowing. If he actually filmed somebody else breaking them and then spliced the shots, I think that's delightful.
posted by Tuffy at 2:21 PM on October 10, 2006


On another topic, why is that hottie dancer girl letting him touch her? And on her bare belly! Yeeech!
posted by Tuffy at 2:21 PM on October 10, 2006


DuoJet : "Laughing stock? Because greedy, power-hungry liars never achieve success in America, right?"

Good liars always achieve success. Bad liars occassionally achieve success. Bold faced liars can even become presidents. But, no, absolutely surreal liars never achieve success in companies. The rule of thumb seems to be "if people could imagine you bragging that you were actually a real ninja, you're probably the kind of liar that will succeed. You may, however, unintentionally entertain the hell out of your fellow cubicle workers".

Note: the conditions above do not apply to touring lecturers or self-help book writers.
posted by Bugbread at 2:22 PM on October 10, 2006


Pfft, that's nothing. In the Astral Plane, I'm a dragon.
posted by Skorgu at 2:43 PM on October 10, 2006


"I'm going to assume this whole thing is a joke. I find it hard to believe that such a bullshit artist could get into Yale."

I take it you haven't watched a State of the Union Address in the last 6 years?

"Oh, and Cornell can kick Yale's ass in hockey any day."

GO RED!! :D
posted by zoogleplex at 2:56 PM on October 10, 2006


Tuffy: Breaking bricks isn't very hard. It really IS a mental thing.

Doing it incorrectly you can break your hand. But it's no big thing at all.

Learning to do it correctly is no reflection of skill as a Martial Artist. It only takes a couple of weeks of practice (especially with large spacers between the bricks as shown). Also you can choose a more brittle brick or "cook" them and dry them out a few days in advance. Same thing with boards... use white pine and dry it out (secretly substitute the pine for maple if you want a laugh... it bends.)

Single Cinder and patio blocks are actually harder to break.
posted by tkchrist at 2:56 PM on October 10, 2006


Man, I meet people like this all the time. In middle school, I even was one. I was creative, lonely and desperately insecure, and funnelled that into things I thought would impress people. It almost always started out with a grain of truth, then a pearl spun around it out of bullshit.
I got over it both as I became more secure with who I was, and by meeting more people who did the same thing but were less adept liars. I remember finally giving up on my best friend from high school because he told me an anecdote that had happened to me and swore that it had really happened to him.
Other fantabulists who have gotten to me? Well, in high school I developed an online crush on a girl who claimed she was on the TV show "All That." (Anywhere else, I might feel more embarrassed about confessing to an online teenage crush, but hell, this place has a high percentage of the pimply). She "dumped" me for another guy on the message board who lived closer, and he got to be her whipping boy for a while until they were supposed to meet and it turned out that she was both not who she said she was and several years younger.
I also remember one of my exes (a real life girlfriend) having a friend who claimed things like that she had Robert Smith's private number and crap like that. She hated that I was dating her pal and went out of her way to break us up. I hear that she got better after she went off to college and got to be by herself for a while.
And one of my best friends from high school became a fabulist while in college, to the point where we couldn't believe anything he said when he got back to town. That was really disappointing and weird. But now he lives in the middle off nowhere Michigan with his new wife, or so we think, and no one sees him...
posted by klangklangston at 2:58 PM on October 10, 2006


"Pfft, that's nothing. In the Astral Plane, I'm a dragon."

There was a guy on LJ Debate who avered that to his last breath in a really pathetic sort of way...
posted by klangklangston at 3:00 PM on October 10, 2006


I had a network set-up teacher like this. Claimed Bill Gates used to fly over to meet with him and discuss networking issues*. He eventually got fired and then used the same school that fired him as a reference for another job.

The sad thing is that some of these people believe themselves.

*Bill and I had a huge laugh about it when I mentioned it to him.
posted by Sparx at 3:03 PM on October 10, 2006


Navelgazer:several Black Jewish friends.

Okay, so actually I only have one, but apparently, Black Jews aren't as uncommon as you'd think.

posted by Deathalicious at 3:10 PM on October 10, 2006


Damn...what the heck happened to that post. Was supposed to read:

I'll have you know I have several Black Jewish friends.
posted by Deathalicious at 3:11 PM on October 10, 2006


Deathalicious, I know, but this was in Oklahoma, and well.. you might have just had to be there to know how much of a lie it was at face value, which it indeed turned out to be. I thought I made it clear that I know that being black and being Jewish aren't mutually exclusive. In this circumstance, however, it would've been about as plausible as her telling us she'd been hit by a meteor, which I'm sure is why she said it: it allowed her to be (at least in her own perception) that much more interesting.
posted by Navelgazer at 3:48 PM on October 10, 2006


Damn...what the heck happened to that post. Was supposed to read:

if people could imagine you bragging that you were actually a real ninja, you're probably not the kind of liar that will succeed.
posted by Bugbread at 3:49 PM on October 10, 2006


Some of my best friends are ninjas.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:51 PM on October 10, 2006


Some of my best ninjas are friends.
posted by Bugbread at 4:01 PM on October 10, 2006


I hear he went up to Saratoga and his horse naturally won.
posted by rob511 at 4:06 PM on October 10, 2006


You talking about me?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:07 PM on October 10, 2006


I went to school with this Micronesian who had been an orthopedic surgeon before coming to college. Thing is, I think I believe him....
posted by noble_rot at 4:09 PM on October 10, 2006


The "fabricator" I used to know started out as your typical compulsive lier but quickly discovered that everybody found his tall tales humorous. Soon it became his schtick, and he metamorphosed into a comedian/storyteller.

At one point he had an ongoing story-time at the café that everybody hung out at. The story was about his adventures in the Hollow Earth and involved robots, Subgenii, and a cocktail made with a shot of the fluid that Hitler's severed head floated in... it was comedy gold.
posted by lekvar at 4:21 PM on October 10, 2006


I've known my fair share of pathological liars, but not everyone whose life story is incredible & implausible is making it all up. Take me for example.
posted by scalefree at 4:32 PM on October 10, 2006


Oh, It's Raining Florence Henderson is SO the winner.

All y'all bow down in homage, please.
posted by zoogleplex at 4:42 PM on October 10, 2006


Oh god.

I just finished speaking with two recruiting agencies today (I'm seriously considering making the jump to freelance work, blah blah blah...). Every single time I come out of an interview or one of these "get to know the prospect" sessions, I really, truly, sincerely hope that I didn't come off as someone like Aleksy Vayner. (My internal monologue is frantically replaying everything I had said today in order to reassure me that I didn't.)

As for Aleksy, I just feel really really sorry for him - if this is not a joke, of course. I feel really sorry for these sorts of folks too, because I've known a few (maybe even myself!). Complete disconnect with reality and themselves.

Mental illness isn't funny. In fact, for me, it's quite painful to watch. There's no sense that he's trying to put one over; no "comedic" element about the video at all. It's all very sad clown, sans clown.

I do have a question though:
How in the name of all that is good andd just did this guy get into Yale? Heck, considering the course of events, does he or did he ever ACTUALLY go to Yale?
posted by C.Batt at 4:58 PM on October 10, 2006


Always nice to run into someone who appreciates a good pommel horse when they see one.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:00 PM on October 10, 2006



Mental illness isn't funny.

SURE it is.

Now cancer. That's not so funny. Unless it's Robin Williams... he can make sad so funny.
posted by tkchrist at 5:07 PM on October 10, 2006


I have a sneaking suspicion that a good percentage of top-school students are there because of plagiarism, cheating, and a general overarching deceit that, to the casual observer, looks like nothing more than simple egotism.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:22 PM on October 10, 2006


C.Batt : "Mental illness isn't funny."

No. Mental isn't isn't supposed to be funny. In reality, most of the time it isn't. However, every once in a while it is.
posted by Bugbread at 5:24 PM on October 10, 2006


I seriously considered FPP-ing this story myself late last night, and got into all the links at IvyGate where I came to the conclusion that he is not a compulsive liar, but rather a criminal one. And if he pocketed any ill-gotten gains from his fake childrens' charity, his plagiarized holocaust book, his unlicensed financial consultancy or his 'healing services', he should be locked away and quickly, before the evil assholes at some major corporation hire him to make big bucks lying for them. Because as corrupt and dishonest as American society is today, he has a disgustingly bright future ahead of him.

Maybe it's because I checked out what was left of his charity etc. before watching that SNL sketch of a video that I'm extra harsh on him. Or maybe it was his use of plagiarized material and how quickly he got to work trying to 'erase' his presence on the Internet that convinced me that he was not psychologically 'out of control', but rather a deliberate, professional liar who really knows what he's doing.

Also notable, his "honestly up-and-coming professional" sister was listed as one of only two other "Directors" of his bogus charity. If this was done without her knowledge, then he's willing to sell out his family. But if she knowingly participated, somebody should check her resume for big lies, too.

When I decided not to post his story here last night, it was because I thought the MetaFilter 'community' would not understand the modern evil he represents (and turn the thread into a chorus of 'don't be so harsh, wendell'). And I think I was right.

Or maybe it's just because the worst "compulsive liars" I've personally met in my 51 years of life experience (I can think of at least three) are all very very successful.
posted by wendell at 5:42 PM on October 10, 2006


I came to the conclusion that he is not a compulsive liar, but rather a criminal one

Brings to mind the story of Christophe Thierry Rocancourt, the imposter who claimed he was a Rockefeller and scammed folks of millions in Canada and the U.S.
posted by ericb at 5:48 PM on October 10, 2006


How long do you suppose it will be before some brave soul finds and posts his admissions essays (or examples of his coursework, though that would be less amusing)?

Describe a time you faced significant difficulties in your life, and describe how you overcame them.

One day grandmaster Lao told me that I could not advance in my training until I could snatch a fan from his outstretched palm...

What do you hope to achive at Yale?

I hope to actualize the entirety of my potentialities...
posted by little miss manners at 5:49 PM on October 10, 2006


I worked with a guy like this too, when I was at CNN, in Texas. He was ashamed of being loaded and working for tv so whenever he met new people he made up these crazy stories about being a technician with a poor blind mother and debts to pay and we were all forced to play along. It was really embarassing...
posted by pleeker at 6:26 PM on October 10, 2006


Video is gone due to "copyright infringement".
posted by Pastabagel at 6:45 PM on October 10, 2006


Looks like YouTube yoinked the video. Anybody know a place where I can watch this badboy?
posted by Afroblanco at 6:53 PM on October 10, 2006


There's something deeply ironic about youtube pulling a video in response to what presumably is a copyright-infringing cease-and-desist letter.
posted by little miss manners at 7:23 PM on October 10, 2006


I didn't know the guy while I was at Yale, but I was friends with a few people on the crew team who knew him pretty well. Oddly enough, we were just talking about him at a get-together saturday night, and I can tell you this much - it's not a fake. Or if it is a fake, it's an elaborate hoax that he's been constructing for the past five years.

He'd only tell one major lie at a time to a person, something extremely impressive but just vaguely plausible. It's a school full of overachievers. So you'd walk away being mildly impressed. Then you'd run into a few people talking about him at a party, and everyone would have a different story. You'd be scratching your head, going "wait, he couldn't have nearly broken the world record for the marathon with a sprained ankle, taken 9 classes in a semester, AND started that AIDS NGO in Cambodia."

Sadly, he's also not the only person there who was like that. I was, for awhile, friends with a girl who turned out to be a pathalogical liar - and she strung me along with her lies for longer than I'm willing to admit. Unlike Aleksey, she didn't make it to the end, though - plagiarism, hacking, and the eventual total lack of friends caught up with her. I was angry about it for a long time - now I just feel sad when I think about her.
posted by TheRoach at 7:27 PM on October 10, 2006


The guy bears out the theory of nominative determinism very well, I'll say that much.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 8:19 PM on October 10, 2006


IvyGate has mirrors of the video.
posted by zsazsa at 8:29 PM on October 10, 2006


I've known a handful of people like this - 5 or 6, depending how you count, most but not all from my Harvard days.

They had in common that they were all extremely intelligent - no B.S. If they'd been willing just to trade on demonstrated, provable evidence of their brainpower, they could have gone anywhere, done anything.

So in a way they're interesting psychological studies, because all their vainglorious posturing, pretensions and prevarications served only to handicap them in life. People whispered about them behind their backs. No one wanted to be seen even speaking to the more egregious examples. So in a way you could look at it as a way for them to engage in self-sabotage.

Interesting, but really these folks are among the hardest cases imaginable if you want to stay friends with them. They're completely impossible to help.

Old AskMe on the topic.
posted by ikkyu2 at 8:34 PM on October 10, 2006


I think the funniest thing about Vayner's video (and his outrageous lies in general) is that it points up the stupidity of elite college admissions officers who eagerly seek students with "exotic" and "interesting" backgrounds.

The guy gives a black eye to the Yale admissions office.
posted by jayder at 8:37 PM on October 10, 2006


I think anyone who has been through some incredible experiences learns to shy away from sharing them with anyone who wasn’t there – kind of an old army buddies syndrome. I’ve had a few things happen that, told as a casual story, raise doubts, and that’s maddening. So now I only bring out those tales with people who were around when they happened – kind of redundant, but there you go. Of course, I bet most MeFites could share some anecdote, unembellished, that to others would seem incredible. It's the incredible string of them that's the hallmark of (delusional) fiction.

About this, though, others have it. Pathological is the word, though you have to wonder exactly what he’s thinking. Does he forget that these things aren’t true? Is he surprised when he is reminded of reality? I can’t help wondering if there is an association with dissociative disorders (of which mpd is one).
posted by dreamsign at 8:58 PM on October 10, 2006


No, I take that back. Some of these boasts are beyond belief on their own.

Does, however, remind me of a Russian that hung around in the periphery of our social circle in my home town. Told these totally incredible stories, but in this case we always believed he made them up completely. Then we'd get confirmation of the odd tale and we'd have to wonder about the rest. For example, he once casually started telling us about breaking up a fight at a party on Friday night, and that he disarmed a crazy guy who had been swinging a wavy-bladed sword around. Yeah, ok, sure. Then later, we ran into a couple of guys who had been at the party. "Yeah, this slavic guy ran in and took this psycho's sword away! It was awesome!" Um...
posted by dreamsign at 9:08 PM on October 10, 2006


That bit about having to register his arms as lethal weapons... is this copyrighted? I'd like to use it in this sitcom I'd like to write soon.
posted by the cydonian at 9:14 PM on October 10, 2006


There's something deeply ironic about youtube pulling a video in response to what presumably is a copyright-infringing cease-and-desist letter.

Actually, they pull stuff all the time. Or maybe I'm not getting your point.
posted by dhammond at 9:25 PM on October 10, 2006


dhammond writes "Or maybe I'm not getting your point."

One of the IvyGate blog entries notes that this guy has been sending around C&D letters that have been copied straight from the first Google result for the search "cease and desist". Hence the irony: requesting a C&D of copyright infringement with a letter that's been copied without the proper rights.
posted by mr_roboto at 10:01 PM on October 10, 2006


Anybody know a place where I can watch this badboy?

IvyGate blogged the video here, calling the C&D bluff.
they reposted it at Veoh and are hosting it on their servers too just in case.
posted by carsonb at 10:40 PM on October 10, 2006


Ahhhhhh.
posted by dhammond at 11:06 PM on October 10, 2006


I was reading through these and realizing if I were to list the things I've done in my life I would be lumped with these liars.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:14 AM on October 11, 2006


The only reason I don't think this is all an elaborate gag is that I, too, knew someone like this years ago. If you liked a band, she was friends with the guitarist and had slept with the singer and had known them since before they were cool. If you were taking a math class, she'd been studying calculus since the fourth grade and regularly had papers published in academic journals. If you liked a particular movie, she knew all the actors personally and the director had slept on her couch for a month once. She was sort of at the edge of my circle of friends, and for a while we tried to keep a running list of her incredible fabrications, but eventually we all just kind of felt sorry for her.
posted by miskatonic at 7:00 AM on October 11, 2006


dreamsign- You need to move out of Crazytown ;).

That bit about having to register his arms as lethal weapons... is this copyrighted? I'd like to use it in this sitcom I'd like to write soon.

I don't know the origin, but that joke's been around for a while.
posted by mkultra at 8:48 AM on October 11, 2006


I was reading through these and realizing if I were to list the things I've done in my life I would be lumped with these liars.

But you won't because then you'd have to kill us. Which you know 29 ways to do, silently, using objects that can be found in any room.
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:05 AM on October 11, 2006


I can't view the IvyGate page right now.
posted by grouse at 9:12 AM on October 11, 2006


I take it back; after seeing the video, it's not tongue-in-cheek enough to be a spoof.

Tool.
posted by craven_morhead at 1:38 PM on October 11, 2006


I've known two folk like this.

One was very, very slick, and it only became apparent that she was lying when two different social circles happened to cross - in one group, she claimed to know lots of famous musicians, which was totally plausible in that context; in the other group, she was basically the best social worker ever to live, won awards, wrote groundbreaking papers, etc. It turned out she worked in Sainsburys.

The other person was much weirder - at school he told utterly obvious lies, like telling you his family owned a pack of wolves (told when you were in his parents house and could see otherwise). Years later, his latest bullshit story was that he was a high-ranking diplomat, working at the British embassy in a certain remote country (told in a pub in London). Everybody chuckled, until a friend who was working in the country in question met him at a dinner party at the embassy. He was at the head of the table. I still wonder if the wolves really were at the vets that day.
posted by jack_mo at 2:35 PM on October 11, 2006 [1 favorite]


For about a year, in high school, I had kind of an inversish lying problem: I lied about absolutely pointless things in undetectable ways. If I had read two weeks ago a book that my friends were discussing, I'd say I read it last week. If I'd read it last week, I'd say I read it two weeks ago. It wasn't that I lied about everything, but every once in a while I'd say some absolutely pointless and completely undetectable lie, and I'd think to myself "Why the hell did I say that? What was the point of that lie?" It eventually just went away. I still don't know what was up with that, but I'm almost entirely sure that nobody ever noticed that habit.
posted by Bugbread at 3:10 PM on October 11, 2006


I killed 24 people at Yale. Nobody noticed.

Dude, that's a slow day for them.

ʎale sucks.
posted by oaf at 3:12 PM on October 11, 2006


jack_mo, I have a friend like that. He often tells the most outrageous lies, sometimes about events which you have personally witnessed. And yet, somehow, some of the most fabulous creations turn out to actually be true. It keeps everyone really off-balance.
posted by cell divide at 3:34 PM on October 11, 2006




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