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October 23, 2006 11:15 AM   Subscribe

Would you marry me? A man wants to buy an ad during the Super Bowl to pop the question.
posted by dov3 (69 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
NO PAN HANDLING ON TEH INTARWEBZ
posted by Mister_A at 11:21 AM on October 23, 2006


At first, I thought the guy already had enough money to buy the commercial space right out... I was going to suggest a prenuptial agreement. Interesting experiment, though I doubt he's going to raise the extra $1.96 million he needs to buy the ad before Superbowl time (in Feburary, right?).
posted by triolus at 11:24 AM on October 23, 2006


Here is an interview with him.
posted by dov3 at 11:25 AM on October 23, 2006 [1 favorite]


What terrible judgement. If I was a lady and a man blew enough money to retire on just to propose to me, I'd say no. If you want to spend that much money on me, buy real estate or just set all the money ablaze in a cool bonfire. Or, you know, feed the hungry or something.
posted by mullingitover at 11:26 AM on October 23, 2006


WHAT A GODDAMNED WASTE OF FUCKING MONEY
posted by interrobang at 11:28 AM on October 23, 2006 [1 favorite]


Doing it for love.
"If that guy in the UK can sell all million of the pixels on his buymypixels site…for a dollar each…then anything’s possible. The “pay to tattoo my forehead” guy was successful too. And those guys were just doing it to make money for themselves. To make a profit. This site is not built to make a profit. This site is built for love."
Uh, yeah, riiiiight.
posted by ericb at 11:29 AM on October 23, 2006


Dickass does dumb shit, begs for money on internet. All this, plus traffic on the threes, up next.
posted by boo_radley at 11:30 AM on October 23, 2006


I have to agree with Mr_A: I am so, so tired of Internet panhandling.
posted by KevinKarl at 11:31 AM on October 23, 2006


"© 2005 My Super Proposal", but his first post was on September 12, 2006. Seems like he's been thinking about this scheme for quite some time.
posted by ericb at 11:32 AM on October 23, 2006


What what what!?

What a waste of money. This is like one of those credit-funded $100,000 dollar weddings where the groom and bride (and their parents) go off to live in severe debt for decades rather than doing something sensible like buying a house. Multiplied by several million.

Except he wants us to pay for it. This makes "Save Screech's House" look like a year's worth of free steak and blowjobs.

How about I just go give $20 to the nearest urban outdoorsman and pretend I never even heard about this audacious fool?
posted by loquacious at 11:33 AM on October 23, 2006


Is 'pathetisad' a word?
posted by davelog at 11:48 AM on October 23, 2006


So. If he decides not to buy the ad for whatever reason -- such as: he doesn't get enough money -- then, what? He just keeps the money? Returns it?

Keeping it without purchasing the ad seems like it would be fraud or misrepresentation or something.

Anyway, yes: This is lame. Begging is begging. And, besides, it feels like a plot point from a bad romantic comedy or something...
posted by chasing at 11:50 AM on October 23, 2006


If he doesn't raise enough money he claims he'll donate it to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital in Nashville, TN.

Yeah -- we'll wait to see the receipt, buddy!
posted by ericb at 11:55 AM on October 23, 2006


Then what will you do with the money you raised?

Donate almost every penny to the Monroe Carell Jr. Children's Hospital at Vanderbilt. I am really committed to having people know that I am not here to make a profit off this. I let people know that on the site. What I’ll probably do is buy a ring and use a little bit of money to set up a private proposal. And, if I make it, I want to somehow use the ad to raise awareness for that charity. If two million people will give a dollar each, there’s a responsibility to help the hospital.

posted by linux at 11:56 AM on October 23, 2006


So he'll donate some of the money. Right. As soon as he spends 90% of it on his ring and private proposal, he'll send the change on to the children. Blech. This is an awful idea and I would say "no" just based on his terrible judgement.
posted by arcticwoman at 12:06 PM on October 23, 2006


Indeed, what an idiotic waste of money.

But it reminded me of this idiot so it's got that going for it.
posted by dobbs at 12:07 PM on October 23, 2006


In addition to the colossal waste of money and the bad judgment, one may suspect this is his favorite show, rather than hers - not a good portent for a marriage. Three strikes . . . I have to admit tho, it will be good for a laugh if she says no.
posted by jam_pony at 12:10 PM on October 23, 2006


As ericb pointed out: If he doesn't raise enough money he claims he'll donate it to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital in Nashville, TN.

Wait... hunh?!? So my "contribution" helps the hospital more if he doesn't raise enough to buy an ad than if he does? And this is somehow supposed to make me feel good about funding his stunt and asking my friends too as well?

I'm sure economists have a fancy term for this kind of disincentive -- I just call it stupid. My man needs to bring his brain the next time he plans a stunt.
posted by Opposite George at 12:12 PM on October 23, 2006


What bugs me most about this (besides the crazy expense tag) is that there's no indication anywhere on his site that his girlfriend even likes football. It looks like he's doing this just to get attention for himself -- he says somewhere that if he pulls it off he can probably forget a few anniversaries and it won't matter. Whaaa?

If his girl is a big sports nut then maybe the sheer craziness of this would make her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But I think to the average girl, it would feel like the engagement was more about football and less about her. So it's just a hugely expensive mistake all the way around.
posted by onlyconnect at 12:13 PM on October 23, 2006


It definitely is a more creative way to make some cash than the Nigerian Email Scams. Bravo for him bilking idiots out of $54k.
posted by JJ86 at 12:18 PM on October 23, 2006


mullingitover writes "What terrible judgement."

I dunno. Guy's made $50,000, free and clear, so far. That's some pretty easy money.


You don't think there's actually going to be a Super Bowl ad, do you?
posted by mr_roboto at 12:20 PM on October 23, 2006


Why did we link to this idiot?
posted by HuronBob at 12:20 PM on October 23, 2006


Good lord what is this world coming to. This just makes me sick.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 12:22 PM on October 23, 2006


s/too as well/to as well/
s/plans a stunt/leaves the house/
grrr...
posted by Opposite George at 12:22 PM on October 23, 2006


Disgusting, seriously. And if he does raise the money, then that children's hospital is out. Classy. I thought the million dollar homepage was an interesting idea, and the guy wasn't "begging", he was selling something artificially scarce, which is different. It was stupid, but it wasn't just begging.

But yeah there is something obscene about relatively well off people asking for more for frivolous reasons.

And yeah if a guy raised 2 million dollars and then blew it to propose to me, I’d say no too, even if I was a woman!
posted by delmoi at 12:24 PM on October 23, 2006


Opposite George writes

s/too as well/to as well/
s/plans a stunt/leaves the house/
grrr...


It's like regexp as postmodern poetry.
posted by mr_roboto at 12:27 PM on October 23, 2006


Note to self: Activate delmoi Proposal Plan B.
posted by Opposite George at 12:30 PM on October 23, 2006


*whistle* Flag on the play.
posted by BeerFilter at 12:31 PM on October 23, 2006


dobbs writes: But it reminded me of this idiot so it's got that going for it.

That seemed to be a compelling clip, until I read this.
posted by found missing at 12:36 PM on October 23, 2006


Copyright rules prohibit me from referring to the Super (Big Game) Bowl.

I call bullshit. We can use the term Super Bowl all we want, as long as its fair use, right? I.e. referring to the Super Bowl. I can understand why he might not be able to call the *site* Super Bowl Proposal or something, but is merely using the term infringement? I am confused.

I also think he's lying about his progress, but you never know ...
posted by mrgrimm at 12:37 PM on October 23, 2006


I guess NFLfan decided to get divorced after all...
posted by The God Complex at 12:40 PM on October 23, 2006 [1 favorite]


...because intimacy is overrated. People really need to know, and one should play to the crowd, how much you love this person. Why do something personally meaningful and privately shared, something solely and uniquely your own as a couple, when you can...do...uh...whatever this is supposed to accomplish.

“Guy's made $50,000, free and clear, so far. That's some pretty easy money.”

Contrast that with RAW (the Robt. Anton Wilson post earlier on mefi) who, once he’s over the hump, refuses more cash. I checked out Rushkoff’s site, it said (paraphrase): “Thanks, he’s good now, he doesn’t need anymore.”
Class act.
This...yeah, I dunno what this is either. But success in the pursuit of a goal /= worthy.
I’m very good at destruction. Not something I will do for a living though no matter how much money is shoved in front of me.
This kind of thing is different in degree, sure, but not in form.
We can all admire and enjoy excellence for it’s own sake, but it’s a shame this is such a meaningless goal.
Some people can (ostensibly) be paid for working for the public good, buy Prada and (metaphorically) walk right past some guy flooded out of his house and eating out of a garbage can.
Some folks instead of putting creativity and energy into a relationship, put it into the trappings. Same deviation.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:41 PM on October 23, 2006


This is pathetisad (thanks davelog), and I'm sorry MeFi gave him traffic.
posted by dejah420 at 12:42 PM on October 23, 2006


mrgrimm, to my understanding he wouldn't be able to use the "Superbowl" moniker to make money, which is what he's trying to do. Just like you can't use "Olympic" in your business name when the Olympics are in town without paying a heft licensing fee for it ("Olympic Pizza" in Vancouver is facing this problem, as they attempted to cash in on the upcoming 2010 winter games and found themselves on the business end of a lawsuit).
posted by The God Complex at 12:43 PM on October 23, 2006


If she says no, will he refund everyone's money?
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 12:44 PM on October 23, 2006


Doesn't he have to pay taxes on the money?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:53 PM on October 23, 2006 [1 favorite]


I really doubt the guy's actually got $50,000. I always thought that if I set up one of these sites I'd make it look like loads of people were giving loads of money, in the hope that the real 'givers' (ie. suckers) would then feel like it wasn't just them falling for it. Basic psychology, that.
posted by reklaw at 12:54 PM on October 23, 2006


By that I mean, isn't a huge chunk of this money going to go to taxes? Doesn't he really need to collect that much more, just to cover the taxes?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:54 PM on October 23, 2006 [1 favorite]


And has he actually researched with his local TV channels to see if they'll see him airspace? I can't imagine they have to sell airspace to anyone who has cash, right?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:58 PM on October 23, 2006 [1 favorite]


What a waste of money.

Well it's not something I'd spend money on, but neither is another ad for Pepsi, and plenty gets spent on those.

This is that gag where the ad says "Julie, will you marry me" and 8000 people named Julie end up getting married, right?
posted by sfenders at 12:58 PM on October 23, 2006


So why not pay 1000 people $1000 each at the superbowl to hold up placards that say "Marry Me" or something? Then you save $600k and distribute the money to the people, instead of the NFL.
posted by blue_beetle at 1:06 PM on October 23, 2006




I would like to know what 2.5 million dollars looks like - any pictures of her?
posted by fluffycreature at 1:13 PM on October 23, 2006


If he doesn't raise enough money he claims he'll donate it to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital in Nashville, TN.

He should use the money to endow the "Snookie Will You Marry Me?" Juvenile Dialysis Annex instead of this hopeless Super Bowl ad bid. Even if he makes the nut, I can see plenty of women who could say no to the ad quite easily. How many women worth marrying could say no to row upon row of brave little tykes hooked up to dialysis machines?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:17 PM on October 23, 2006 [1 favorite]


What a dick. End of story.
posted by a3matrix at 1:23 PM on October 23, 2006


That guy must be making up for 2 million dollars worth of inadequacy in his trousers. /smirk

Imagine this all works out.

The look on his face the next morning when the thrill wears off and he realizes he could have bought a very nice house and his-and-hers Ferraris instead of a 30 second absurdity... priceless.

Actually, that would make a funny Mastercard commercial.

Maybe this is some sort of meta-commercial?

Unless the guy is already a multi-multi-millionaire and doesn't really need the money, this would be an excellent indicator of intelligence and fitness to wed.

But also... imagine you were wanting to propose to a woman who you thought would be more moved by a 30 second appeal to vanity than a secure financial future for your family.

*shudders*
posted by Ynoxas at 1:30 PM on October 23, 2006


Here's how it goes down.

Mr. Beggar raises the money by January. He manages to buy the spot and spends weeks creating the 'commercial.' He gets excited. He organizes a huge Super Bowl party with 50 friends gathered around watching a big screen TV. The game has been on an hour. He knows the spot is coming soon. BUT THEN his girlfriend gets up and says "I have to pee" and walks toward the bathroom. He says, no, wait, you can't go yet. She says, no, I really have to go. He says, you have to stay and watch this for a couple more minutes, trust me. She says, just let me go to the frigging bathroom, I ate a lot of bean dip and I can't wait any longer. He protests again but she gets really angry and waves him off as she heads to the bathroom. He returns to the TV pacing around hoping she finishes quickly. Minutes pass without her return. THEN HIS COMMERCIAL COMES ON THE AIR. She's still in the john. The 30 second spot goes by, culiminating with "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" She's not there to see the message. All the friends are uncomfortable and stare at the ground. No one wants to look at Mr. Beggar. The game comes back on. The toilet flushes and the girl comes back from the bathroom. She says, "OK, what did you want me to see?" Mr. Beggar says, it's too late, you missed it. She says, come on, show me what you wanted me to see. Mr. Beggar shrugs and 'rewinds' the TiVo back to before the comercial. He shows her the spot. She says, wait, you recorded a video and played it on the VCR during the Super Bowl? He says, no, actually I paid two million dollars to show it live on TV. She says, what the hell are you talking about, why would you do something so stupid, you're joking, right? He says no, that's how I wanted to propose marriage. She says, marriage? You want me to marry you? This is the proposal? This is the story I'm supposed to tell people for the rest of my life? He says, well yeah, I collected the money on the Internet with a blog, isn't that cool? She starts crying and says "I don't know what to think. This is so embarrassing." She runs to another room. The friends look even more uncomfortable. One says, "I think I have to go," and another says "me too." Within minutes, everyone has left, except Mr. Beggar, who sits watching the rest of the Super Bowl alone.
posted by brain_drain at 1:33 PM on October 23, 2006 [7 favorites]


::standing ovation::
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:49 PM on October 23, 2006 [1 favorite]


Dude is up over 61k now, apparently. That's pretty nuts. But no way in hell is he reaching 2 million. So she gets a kickass ring and wedding, the hospital gets 10k, and the internet feels stupid for giving money to beggars with ridiculous ideas. Again.
posted by antifuse at 2:27 PM on October 23, 2006


$10K for a wife.com comes to mind.

And what cave is this gal in that she won't find out that he'd like to put up an ad saying 'marry me'?
posted by rough ashlar at 2:38 PM on October 23, 2006


This is pretty stupid, but then again so are Pepsi advertisements.
posted by Demogorgon at 2:39 PM on October 23, 2006


The more I look around that site, the more it doesn't add up. He's gone from $1,000 to $60,000 in a week? I mean, even SaveKaryn was more worthwhile than this, and it took her a long time to raise a fraction of that amount. I just don't buy it, at all. The guy's probably got a hundred bucks, if that.

Anyone feel like some Mefi Junior Detective work? Because this is definitely a lie and a scam -- I just know it.
posted by reklaw at 2:41 PM on October 23, 2006


Proposal malfunction.
posted by three blind mice at 2:46 PM on October 23, 2006


I think brain_drain is on to something there.... except for the guy beats his dog afterwards in a fit of displaced aggression and impotent rage.
posted by Smedleyman at 3:18 PM on October 23, 2006


What are the tax implications of this stunt? If the guy raises $2 million for the ad, won't he have to report that as income?
posted by MegoSteve at 3:19 PM on October 23, 2006


Asking for marriage in front of 100s/1000s/1000000s of people is inane and offensive. It's forcing the askees hand in such a way that if he/she says no then a huge scene is created.

When I asked it was just the two of us, in her kitchen, hugging and being in love. It started with "So...can you handle all my smells and bad habits?" and ended with "yes" and a kiss.
posted by Kickstart70 at 3:31 PM on October 23, 2006


It would be funny if he managed to get all that money, and she said no.

Christ, at least that Karyn chick got out of debt (if temporarily) -- she didn't raise the money to get some foolishly extravagant fantasy under way... and if the guy's fiancee says yes, what's she going to expect on the anniversary?!?
posted by clevershark at 4:40 PM on October 23, 2006


With the caveats that I'm not a girl, and also that I'd freak if anyone proposed to me, wouldn't "I begged all this money on the internet and bought us a nice house that will last for years" be far better than this?

...or am I just missing the spark of romance/flamboyance/complete-fucking-idiocy that this guy has?
posted by pompomtom at 4:44 PM on October 23, 2006


I'M IN UR METAFILTER, USING A METAINSTANCE OF A TIRED INTERNET MEME--TO WIT, "I'M IN UR SUPER BUL, ASKIN FOR UR HAND"--TO CARICATURE AN INSTANCE OF UR ADDITIONAL INTERNET MEME--THE ONE WHERE SOME JERK PUTS UP A WEBSITE AND GETS STRANGERS TO GIVE HIM MONEY FOR A DUBIOUS PURPOSE.
posted by Kwine at 5:05 PM on October 23, 2006 [1 favorite]


... She starts crying and says "I don't know what to think. This is so embarrassing." She runs to another room. The friends look even more uncomfortable. One says, "I think I have to go," and another says "me too." Within minutes, everyone has left, except Mr. Beggar, who sits watching the rest of the Super Bowl alone.
Later, having had time to think about it, she realises how much work and effort he put into making this proposal special in the best way he knew how. She accepts his proposal.

They marry and live happily, except for one tiny thing. Every time a bill arrives in the mail, she says "if only you hadn't spent all that money on an ad to propose to me, we would have the money to pay this". She says it in a pleasant tone of voice but, over the years, it begins to grate on them both. They live out a life of quiet desperation, with the hate for each other bubbling just under the surface. They stay together "for the sake of the kids". Her youth and beauty fades, his hair thins. She catches herself thinking of what might have been at odd times during the long days when he is away at work. He often works late, delaying the inevitable return to that not-quite hostile look that greets him on his return home.

When he retires after an uninspiring career (he was never able to quite match the exhilaration of spending $2m on his proposal and sometimes catches himself wondering about what might have been during the endless rounds of meetings at work), he returns home to find her gone. There is a note, but he doesn’t read it.

The police find him hanging from a beam in the kitchen. They came to the house to notify him that they had found his wife at the bottom of a cliff near the ocean. She liked to walk there when she was feeling down. There was initially no indication as to whether she fell or jumped, but the note made it clear.
posted by dg at 6:37 PM on October 23, 2006


This is the dumbest thing I've read this week.
Ok, maybe two weeks.
$61,931, seriously? There's that many morons out there? What the fuck am I working for a living for?
posted by signal at 7:12 PM on October 23, 2006


What the fuck am I working for a living for?

You and me think alike, kiddo.

*registers paymetonotworkforafewyears.com, seriously,i'llwritesongsand drawthingsandshit.net, and plusi'llsendyoucopies,okay?.us*
posted by cortex at 7:37 PM on October 23, 2006


The police find him hanging from a beam in the kitchen. They came to the house to notify him that they had found his wife at the bottom of a cliff near the ocean. She liked to walk there when she was feeling down. There was initially no indication as to whether she fell or jumped, but the note made it clear.

... Since these events all started with a Superbowl ad, everyone hears about it. The news networks devote hours to interview with the kids, the neighbours of the deceased. Someone is inspired to write a book about the futility of love and becomes briefly famous before tiring of the world and throwing himself in front of a train. A dramatic TV miniseries follows.

As the news pervades the consciousness of America, the social mood becomes morose and volatile. The suicide rate rises. The people are restless and troubled. They put their hopes in a new politician, brash and ruthless, who promises to return America to its former glory. Some fear it will lead to war.

A few years later, some unidentified terrorist group manages to detonate a nuclear bomb in Jerusalem for reasons that remain unclear. The by-now completely insane and megalomaniacal US leadership decides that North Korea is responsible, and launches a full-scale invasion. By this time, as America has become largely isolated from and feared by the rest of the world, it surprises nobody when China is somehow drawn into the conflict. The United States makes the rash decision to launch a pre-emptive strike against Beijing. It does not work, the final world war is started, and the everyone is shortly annihilated in the resulting global thermonuclear war.
posted by sfenders at 7:43 PM on October 23, 2006


Then you wake up and realize... IT WAS ALL A DREAM.
posted by TheNewWazoo at 8:13 PM on October 23, 2006


I'M IN UR METAFILTER, USING A METAINSTANCE OF A TIRED INTERNET MEME--TO WIT, "I'M IN UR SUPER BUL, ASKIN FOR UR HAND"--TO CARICATURE AN INSTANCE OF UR ADDITIONAL INTERNET MEME--THE ONE WHERE SOME JERK PUTS UP A WEBSITE AND GETS STRANGERS TO GIVE HIM MONEY FOR A DUBIOUS PURPOSE.
posted by Kwine at 5:05 PM PST on October 23


holy shit
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:15 PM on October 23, 2006


dg: If I put an ad on the Super Bowl will you marry me?
posted by Ynoxas at 7:30 AM on October 24, 2006


I wouldn't be surprised if this was all a ruse to raise just enough money for a kick ass engagement ring. This guy is either really smart or really stupid.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 9:25 AM on October 24, 2006


He advertised something today...what if it's not a real site at all, just a clever cover to shill products? If that's the case, I gotta hand it to him.

Well, and pity all the fools who gave him money.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:30 AM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]


“I'M IN UR METAFILTER...”

I’m in UR keyboard, usin’ UR caps.
Wouldn’t it be D00b10US?

Smedleyman /= l33t
posted by Smedleyman at 10:04 AM on October 24, 2006


Lamest Proposal Ever. If I were her, I would be so pissed off, I would say no. If I were him, I would shoot myself.

Don't waste money on that when we still have this 'cancer' thing around that we still need to take a look at.
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 12:12 PM on October 24, 2006


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