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Will It Blend?
November 2, 2006 4:05 PM   Subscribe

Will It Blend? [Warning: Pepsi Blend]
posted by rxrfrx (60 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
I can't get enough of that background music.
posted by rxrfrx at 4:06 PM on November 2, 2006


Truth in URLs:
http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?type=unsafe
posted by smackfu at 4:15 PM on November 2, 2006


Suggestions
Want to see something blended? Let us know!

Item to Blend: A human femur
          Why? My 5/8ths horsepower garbage disposal is clogged up and I gotta find an alternative before the house starts to smell bad.

posted by boo_radley at 4:16 PM on November 2, 2006 [3 favorites]


The bone-in chicken + coke looked vile.
posted by smackfu at 4:19 PM on November 2, 2006


mmmm ... cochicken
posted by Dillenger69 at 4:32 PM on November 2, 2006


brown and bubbly!
posted by hal9k at 4:34 PM on November 2, 2006


cochicken... who the hell thinks these things up?
posted by clevershark at 4:36 PM on November 2, 2006


Paging scarabic...
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 4:42 PM on November 2, 2006


The marbles were pretty cool...

Incidentally, I wonder what the health risks associated with inhaling glass dust are?

Care to inhale molds or contract the english language's longest word for blending science?
posted by dozo at 4:49 PM on November 2, 2006


Incidentally, I wonder what the health risks associated with inhaling glass dust are?

similar to fiberglass i'd imagine.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 4:52 PM on November 2, 2006


Is anyone else wondering what exactly the Big Mac meal ends up tasting like?
posted by cillit bang at 4:53 PM on November 2, 2006


Too funny, one of my employees sent me this earlier today. I seriously thought about FPPing it.

Oh well. I snoozed, I lused.

boo_radley: Ha! brilliant.
posted by quin at 4:54 PM on November 2, 2006


Metafilter: Dang, that is good cochicken!
posted by jimmythefish at 4:54 PM on November 2, 2006


Is anyone else wondering what exactly the Big Mac meal ends up tasting like?

Shit.
posted by hal9k at 4:57 PM on November 2, 2006 [1 favorite]


I want Tom Dickson to retroactively speak at my college graduation.
posted by cortex at 5:02 PM on November 2, 2006


Blendtec made the blenders for a large coffee chain where I worked a while ago. There was a story that the night crew in one store left two glass shot glasses in the blender pitcher. Someone on the morning crew got an order for a blended beverage, grabbed the closest blender pitcher and didn't notice the shot glasses. They said that the pieces of glass were blended so small that two unfortunate people who drank them didn't notice until it was too late and spent a lot of time in the hospital being treated for internal bleeding.

I didn't believe it to be true, so I mixed up two shot glasses with a drink to see for myself. The blender didn't hesitate one bit and with the ice in there also there was no noticeable difference in the sound. Once the drink melted I found a few small shards of glass and a lot of tiny slivers. Ouch.

So the movie with the marbles is spot on and completely creeps me out.
posted by peeedro at 5:03 PM on November 2, 2006


That's their LOWEST-powered blender? I don't need to change my pants, I need to change my LEGS.
posted by DoctorFedora at 5:06 PM on November 2, 2006 [2 favorites]


When I worked at Denny's on the graveyard shift, I once dared a customer during the bar rush to eat a Grand Slam milkshake. I put 2 pancakes, 2 eggs, and 2 sausage links in the shake machine with syrup and milk. The smell made my eyes water, and I almost got sick making it. But the dude totally drank it in front of me without flinching. What he couldn't finish, his buddy did. I bought them both breakfast, which they also polished off. Ahh, college.

Nice to see his degree in marketing landed him such an interesting job.
posted by hermitosis at 5:25 PM on November 2, 2006


It's like Letterman's Will it Float? only wickeder and slightly Corporatetm.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 5:31 PM on November 2, 2006


Dang it. Now I have the urge to buy a $400 blender.
posted by chairface at 5:38 PM on November 2, 2006


This is exactly why the internets exist.
posted by 40 Watt at 5:49 PM on November 2, 2006 [1 favorite]


The blends they didn't show from the intro seem cool. A can of coke with the can? The entire bottle of whiskey? What was he trying to do with that crowbar? Blend it? Break the blender?
posted by JohnnyGunn at 5:53 PM on November 2, 2006


How good is the Blendtec in sharpening Chef Tony's Miracle Blades? Can it remove odors and stains as well as Orange Oil or Easy-Off BAM?

Can Blendtec products get the red out faster than ClearEyes? Are those blenders able to cut monthly mortgage rates? LET'S FIND OUT!
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:57 PM on November 2, 2006


JohnnyGunn--

Those aren't nothing. I don't want to see snow made from ice, I want to see fire made from matches.

Presumably that would be a "Don't try this at home." Presumably, my roommates are hiding the blender as we speak.
posted by thecaddy at 6:02 PM on November 2, 2006


The blends they didn't show from the intro seem cool.

I know! I was disappointed those weren't on the site.
posted by smackfu at 6:09 PM on November 2, 2006


Yay Blendtec. I'm now spent more time watching their blender online than I've actually spent using a blender during the past 10 years. Now that is viral advertising.
posted by VulcanMike at 6:11 PM on November 2, 2006


Incidentally, I wonder what the health risks associated with inhaling glass dust are?

Silicosis. (long term) Or probably something similar to inhaling volcanic ash
posted by MrLint at 6:14 PM on November 2, 2006


Man. That just takes all the fun out of blending babies.
posted by loquacious at 6:24 PM on November 2, 2006


These actually have me laughing so hard I'm crying....I can't quite figure out why.

This dude has the best fucking job EVER.
posted by tristeza at 6:27 PM on November 2, 2006 [1 favorite]


Does anyone know why you shouldn't make cochicken at home?
posted by Citizen Premier at 6:49 PM on November 2, 2006


Erm, chicken bone fragments?
posted by retronic at 7:15 PM on November 2, 2006


And Coke is bad for you.
posted by fusinski at 7:24 PM on November 2, 2006


Saw this on Digg. Absolutely amazing. It's so perfect. I want to see the one with the coke can in the intro!
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 7:30 PM on November 2, 2006


coke can nothing -- the one after it is a beer bottle
posted by boo_radley at 7:46 PM on November 2, 2006


thecaddy, I think they were blending firecrackers or something that was causing a flash in the intro.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:56 PM on November 2, 2006


Wow, that's terrific bass!
posted by xil at 8:01 PM on November 2, 2006


JohnnyGunn: I saw one that looked like matches. Maybe that was it.
posted by boo_radley at 8:03 PM on November 2, 2006


Truth in URLs? Cochicken is now safe to try at home
posted by jepler at 8:09 PM on November 2, 2006


I have a Vitamix (similar blender). It kicks ass and I use it every day.
posted by dobbs at 8:12 PM on November 2, 2006


SOLD!
posted by mmdei at 8:24 PM on November 2, 2006


well played jepler.
posted by smackfu at 8:26 PM on November 2, 2006


Will it Float?

That's "Is it Buoyant?" to you Brits out there.

So, can this thing do anything a K-Tel Blitzhacker can't do? (This would have been a cool YouTube link, but they took down the video.)
posted by evilcolonel at 8:43 PM on November 2, 2006


This is exactly the sort of product that benefits greatly from viral videos. How many hundreds of orders have they gotten? I wonder.
posted by Deathalicious at 10:09 PM on November 2, 2006


Why would anybody want to eat that so-called icecream? Non-dairy creamer, vanilla pudding and tang does not an icecream make.

Besides, there's only one decent blender on the internet, and that's the Joesterizer2000
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:16 AM on November 3, 2006


That's "Is it Buoyant?" to you Brits out there.

Huh? Am I missing a joke?

I missed the video where they blended a Pepsi Blue can.
posted by salmacis at 12:53 AM on November 3, 2006


Hi there, I'm Lorena Bobbit, and I'm here to demonstrate the Blendtec 2000.

When my husband got drunk and forced himself on me, I waited until he fell asleep and took a knife to his tool. As I drove away, I threw it out of the car window thinking 'that'll be the last he sees of that'.

Bad move.

Just a few weeks later, he'd had that penis reattached, and was using it to make lousy porno movies.

Today, I own the Blendtec 2000. And all I can say is, if I'd owned a Blendtec back in 1996, my ex-husband would now be called Jo-Anne Bobbit.

Throws a penis into the blender. Turns it up to high power. Pours out penis slush into a glass.


Lets see those micro-surgeons try to re-attach that little beauty.

The Blendtec2000. For when you want to turn penis into pudding.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:56 AM on November 3, 2006


I want one.
posted by Fisherkitty at 1:07 AM on November 3, 2006


I wonder if the commercial blender could blend the home version blender?
posted by YoBananaBoy at 3:58 AM on November 3, 2006 [1 favorite]


I want one of those blenders now, if for no other reason than to make videos of stuff all blended up. Plus, I can finally get rid of that big bulky paper shredder! :)
posted by antifuse at 4:28 AM on November 3, 2006


A friend of mine said it best: "I want to see it blending other blenders!"
posted by Cyclopsis Raptor at 5:25 AM on November 3, 2006


Is anyone else wondering what exactly the Big Mac meal ends up tasting like?

A friend of mine worked at a kid's camp one summer. They would often have various daring challenges. One day they asked for volunteers to eat a Happy Meal, many offered. Of course the Happy Meal was blended together (burger, fries and Coke). My friend said the Happy Meal smoothie smelled like vomit. I seem to remember no one being successful in drinking it either.
posted by xmattxfx at 6:11 AM on November 3, 2006


Mmmm! Rake handle smoothie!
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 6:38 AM on November 3, 2006


This gives me fond memories of "Will It Shred?"
posted by skammer at 6:44 AM on November 3, 2006


I get the feeling their lawyers didn't review this page. Or they don't need no steenking lawyers. So I'll pretend to be an ambulance chaser for a minute:

On the "safe" page, it says "Below you will find a collection of videos that are safe to try at home. Go ahead and try it, and see how your blender stacks up against the Total Blender" and then, with no further safety warnings, the first video below that text starts out with a guy blending (or trying to blend) a Coke can, a glass bottle, something that seems to explode (that flashing part), a rake handle, and maybe even a crow bar.

1. All safe to try at home, with necessarily no top on the blender for the rake handle, and with only a pair of glasses as protection? I wonder how much they'd have to pay if some kid with shake on his hands slipped while pressing down on the rake handle and turned his fingers into a smoothie?

2. They will give me a refund when I take my mangled, burned-out blender back after running it as recommended ("safe to try at home") on crow bars and glass bottles and tin cans for some unspecified number of repetitions (a thousand times? I might have lots of rake handles and patience)?

3. It's a good idea to combine ground glass and shredded aluminum with "I dare you to gulp this down" food tasting demonstrations?

4. When they say "see how your blender stacks up against the Total Blender," aren't they also recommending that you try this stuff with another manufacturer's blender? Will they pay when I fuck up my Black & Decker with a rake? Or when my cheap blender's blades break and fly off and stick in some idiot bystander's eye?
posted by pracowity at 7:13 AM on November 3, 2006


1. The demonstration is not of the glass, rake, crowbar, etc.
1b. Probably nothing, but who knows what a lawyer could pull off in court.

2. No.

3. Nope. But, then, they didn't really.

4. Kind of, maybe.
4b. Nope.
4c. Nope.
posted by cortex at 8:05 AM on November 3, 2006


The demonstration is not of the glass, rake, crowbar, etc.

That is exactly what it starts out with, however, and all under the "safe" label.
posted by pracowity at 8:12 AM on November 3, 2006


That is exactly what it starts out with, however, and all under the "safe" label.

Well, that depends on if you believe that the opening credits to the "show" are actually part of the "safe to try at home" demonstration. It's pretty clear (to a reasonable person, which I agree does not necessarily equal the general public) that they're not - the "show" is showing how to make a big mac smoothie. Or snow out of ice cubes. And the broom handle episode is specifically in the "Not safe" category on their site, to boot.
posted by antifuse at 8:45 AM on November 3, 2006


Wow, that's terrific bass!

My immediate thought as well. So suggested -- hopefully they'll bring back uncle Floyd.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 10:00 AM on November 3, 2006


yoBananaBoy: suggested it. Let's see if they do it.
posted by boo_radley at 10:08 AM on November 3, 2006


If they're really gonna make more of these, they'd be fools not to do a terrific bass.
posted by rxrfrx at 11:16 AM on November 3, 2006


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