Comments on: Will It Blend?

Will It Blend?

rxrfrx — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:05:01 -0800

Will It Blend? [Warning: Pepsi Blend]

By: rxrfrx

rxrfrx — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:06:49 -0800

I can't get enough of that background music.

By: smackfu

smackfu — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:15:35 -0800

Truth in URLs: http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?type=unsafe

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:16:15 -0800

Suggestions Want to see something blended? Let us know! Item to Blend: A human femur Why? My 5/8ths horsepower garbage disposal is clogged up and I gotta find an alternative before the house starts to smell bad.

By: smackfu

smackfu — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:19:01 -0800

The bone-in chicken + coke looked vile.

By: Dillenger69

Dillenger69 — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:32:02 -0800

mmmm ... cochicken

By: hal9k

hal9k — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:34:29 -0800

brown and bubbly!

By: clevershark

clevershark — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:36:14 -0800

cochicken... who the hell thinks these things up?

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:42:22 -0800

Paging scarabic...

By: dozo

dozo — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:49:24 -0800

The marbles were pretty cool... Incidentally, I wonder what the health risks associated with inhaling glass dust are? Care to inhale molds or contract the english language's longest word for blending science?

By: StrasbourgSecaucus

StrasbourgSecaucus — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:52:39 -0800

Incidentally, I wonder what the health risks associated with inhaling glass dust are? similar to fiberglass i'd imagine.

By: cillit bang

cillit bang — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:53:22 -0800

Is anyone else wondering what exactly the Big Mac meal ends up tasting like?

By: quin

quin — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:54:30 -0800

Too funny, one of my employees sent me this earlier today. I seriously thought about FPPing it. Oh well. I snoozed, I lused. boo_radley: Ha! brilliant.

By: jimmythefish

jimmythefish — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:54:56 -0800

Metafilter: Dang, that is good cochicken!

By: hal9k

hal9k — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:57:16 -0800

Is anyone else wondering what exactly the Big Mac meal ends up tasting like? Shit.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:02:14 -0800

I want Tom Dickson to retroactively speak at my college graduation.

By: peeedro

peeedro — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:03:28 -0800

Blendtec made the blenders for a large coffee chain where I worked a while ago. There was a story that the night crew in one store left two glass shot glasses in the blender pitcher. Someone on the morning crew got an order for a blended beverage, grabbed the closest blender pitcher and didn't notice the shot glasses. They said that the pieces of glass were blended so small that two unfortunate people who drank them didn't notice until it was too late and spent a lot of time in the hospital being treated for internal bleeding. I didn't believe it to be true, so I mixed up two shot glasses with a drink to see for myself. The blender didn't hesitate one bit and with the ice in there also there was no noticeable difference in the sound. Once the drink melted I found a few small shards of glass and a lot of tiny slivers. Ouch. So the movie with the marbles is spot on and completely creeps me out.

By: DoctorFedora

DoctorFedora — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:06:12 -0800

That's their LOWEST-powered blender? I don't need to change my pants, I need to change my LEGS.

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:25:29 -0800

When I worked at Denny's on the graveyard shift, I once dared a customer during the bar rush to eat a Grand Slam milkshake. I put 2 pancakes, 2 eggs, and 2 sausage links in the shake machine with syrup and milk. The smell made my eyes water, and I almost got sick making it. But the dude totally drank it in front of me without flinching. What he couldn't finish, his buddy did. I bought them both breakfast, which they also polished off. Ahh, college. Nice to see his degree in marketing landed him such an interesting job.

By: Terminal Verbosity

Terminal Verbosity — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:31:46 -0800

It's like Letterman's Will it Float? only wickeder and slightly Corporate^tm.

By: chairface

chairface — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:38:57 -0800

Dang it. Now I have the urge to buy a $400 blender.

By: 40 Watt

40 Watt — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:49:30 -0800

This is exactly why the internets exist.

By: JohnnyGunn

JohnnyGunn — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:53:30 -0800

The blends they didn't show from the intro seem cool. A can of coke with the can? The entire bottle of whiskey? What was he trying to do with that crowbar? Blend it? Break the blender?

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:57:02 -0800

How good is the Blendtec in sharpening Chef Tony's Miracle Blades? Can it remove odors and stains as well as Orange Oil or Easy-Off BAM? Can Blendtec products get the red out faster than ClearEyes? Are those blenders able to cut monthly mortgage rates? LET'S FIND OUT!

By: thecaddy

thecaddy — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 18:02:47 -0800

JohnnyGunn-- Those aren't nothing. I don't want to see snow made from ice, I want to see fire made from matches. Presumably that would be a "Don't try this at home." Presumably, my roommates are hiding the blender as we speak.

By: smackfu

smackfu — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 18:09:36 -0800

The blends they didn't show from the intro seem cool. I know! I was disappointed those weren't on the site.

By: VulcanMike

VulcanMike — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 18:11:54 -0800

Yay Blendtec. I'm now spent more time watching their blender online than I've actually spent using a blender during the past 10 years. Now that is viral advertising.

By: MrLint

MrLint — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 18:14:05 -0800

Incidentally, I wonder what the health risks associated with inhaling glass dust are? Silicosis. (long term) Or probably something similar to inhaling volcanic ash

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 18:24:54 -0800

Man. That just takes all the fun out of blending babies.

By: tristeza

tristeza — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 18:27:33 -0800

These actually have me laughing so hard I'm crying....I can't quite figure out why. This dude has the best fucking job EVER.

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 18:49:41 -0800

Does anyone know why you shouldn't make cochicken at home?

By: retronic

retronic — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 19:15:15 -0800

Erm, chicken bone fragments?

By: fusinski

fusinski — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 19:24:24 -0800

And Coke is bad for you.

By: BlackLeotardFront

BlackLeotardFront — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 19:30:59 -0800

Saw this on Digg. Absolutely amazing. It's so perfect. I want to see the one with the coke can in the intro!

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 19:46:15 -0800

coke can nothing -- the one after it is a beer bottle

By: JohnnyGunn

JohnnyGunn — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 19:56:57 -0800

thecaddy, I think they were blending firecrackers or something that was causing a flash in the intro.

By: xil

xil — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 20:01:41 -0800

Wow, that's terrific bass!

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 20:03:59 -0800

JohnnyGunn: I saw one that looked like matches. Maybe that was it.

By: jepler

jepler — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 20:09:23 -0800

Truth in URLs? Cochicken is now safe to try at home

By: dobbs

dobbs — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 20:12:59 -0800

I have a Vitamix (similar blender). It kicks ass and I use it every day.

By: mmdei

mmdei — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 20:24:05 -0800

SOLD!

By: smackfu

smackfu — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 20:26:09 -0800

well played jepler.

By: evilcolonel

evilcolonel — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 20:43:36 -0800

Will it Float? That's "Is it Buoyant?" to you Brits out there. So, can this thing do anything a K-Tel Blitzhacker can't do? (This would have been a cool YouTube link, but they took down the video.)

By: Deathalicious

Deathalicious — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 22:09:30 -0800

This is exactly the sort of product that benefits greatly from viral videos. How many hundreds of orders have they gotten? I wonder.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 00:16:42 -0800

Why would anybody want to eat that so-called icecream? Non-dairy creamer, vanilla pudding and tang does not an icecream make. Besides, there's only one decent blender on the internet, and that's the Joesterizer2000

By: salmacis

salmacis — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 00:53:54 -0800

That's "Is it Buoyant?" to you Brits out there. Huh? Am I missing a joke? I missed the video where they blended a Pepsi Blue can.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 00:56:31 -0800

Hi there, I'm Lorena Bobbit, and I'm here to demonstrate the Blendtec 2000. When my husband got drunk and forced himself on me, I waited until he fell asleep and took a knife to his tool. As I drove away, I threw it out of the car window thinking 'that'll be the last he sees of that'. Bad move. Just a few weeks later, he'd had that penis reattached, and was using it to make lousy porno movies. Today, I own the Blendtec 2000. And all I can say is, if I'd owned a Blendtec back in 1996, my ex-husband would now be called Jo-Anne Bobbit. Throws a penis into the blender. Turns it up to high power. Pours out penis slush into a glass. Lets see those micro-surgeons try to re-attach that little beauty. The Blendtec2000. For when you want to turn penis into pudding.

By: Fisherkitty

Fisherkitty — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 01:07:29 -0800

I want one.

By: YoBananaBoy

YoBananaBoy — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 03:58:14 -0800

I wonder if the commercial blender could blend the home version blender?

By: antifuse

antifuse — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 04:28:54 -0800

I want one of those blenders now, if for no other reason than to make videos of stuff all blended up. Plus, I can finally get rid of that big bulky paper shredder! :)

By: Cyclopsis Raptor

Cyclopsis Raptor — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 05:25:55 -0800

A friend of mine said it best: "I want to see it blending other blenders!"

By: xmattxfx

xmattxfx — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 06:11:49 -0800

Is anyone else wondering what exactly the Big Mac meal ends up tasting like? A friend of mine worked at a kid's camp one summer. They would often have various daring challenges. One day they asked for volunteers to eat a Happy Meal, many offered. Of course the Happy Meal was blended together (burger, fries and Coke). My friend said the Happy Meal smoothie smelled like vomit. I seem to remember no one being successful in drinking it either.

By: Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson

Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 06:38:50 -0800

Mmmm! Rake handle smoothie!

By: skammer

skammer — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 06:44:30 -0800

This gives me fond memories of "Will It Shred?"

By: pracowity

pracowity — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 07:13:53 -0800

I get the feeling their lawyers didn't review this page. Or they don't need no steenking lawyers. So I'll pretend to be an ambulance chaser for a minute: On the "safe" page, it says "Below you will find a collection of videos that are safe to try at home. Go ahead and try it, and see how your blender stacks up against the Total Blender" and then, with no further safety warnings, the first video below that text starts out with a guy blending (or trying to blend) a Coke can, a glass bottle, something that seems to explode (that flashing part), a rake handle, and maybe even a crow bar. 1. All safe to try at home, with necessarily no top on the blender for the rake handle, and with only a pair of glasses as protection? I wonder how much they'd have to pay if some kid with shake on his hands slipped while pressing down on the rake handle and turned his fingers into a smoothie? 2. They will give me a refund when I take my mangled, burned-out blender back after running it as recommended ("safe to try at home") on crow bars and glass bottles and tin cans for some unspecified number of repetitions (a thousand times? I might have lots of rake handles and patience)? 3. It's a good idea to combine ground glass and shredded aluminum with "I dare you to gulp this down" food tasting demonstrations? 4. When they say "see how your blender stacks up against the Total Blender," aren't they also recommending that you try this stuff with another manufacturer's blender? Will they pay when I fuck up my Black & Decker with a rake? Or when my cheap blender's blades break and fly off and stick in some idiot bystander's eye?

By: cortex

cortex — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 08:05:47 -0800

1. The demonstration is not of the glass, rake, crowbar, etc. 1b. Probably nothing, but who knows what a lawyer could pull off in court. 2. No. 3. Nope. But, then, they didn't really. 4. Kind of, maybe. 4b. Nope. 4c. Nope.

By: pracowity

pracowity — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 08:12:12 -0800

The demonstration is not of the glass, rake, crowbar, etc. That is exactly what it starts out with, however, and all under the "safe" label.

By: antifuse

antifuse — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 08:45:33 -0800

That is exactly what it starts out with, however, and all under the "safe" label. Well, that depends on if you believe that the opening credits to the "show" are actually part of the "safe to try at home" demonstration. It's pretty clear (to a reasonable person, which I agree does not necessarily equal the general public) that they're not - the "show" is showing how to make a big mac smoothie. Or snow out of ice cubes. And the broom handle episode is specifically in the "Not safe" category on their site, to boot.

By: Ogre Lawless

Ogre Lawless — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 10:00:43 -0800

Wow, that's terrific bass! My immediate thought as well. So suggested -- hopefully they'll bring back uncle Floyd.

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 10:08:39 -0800

yoBananaBoy: suggested it. Let's see if they do it.

By: rxrfrx

rxrfrx — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 11:16:13 -0800

If they're really gonna make more of these, they'd be fools not to do a terrific bass.