Ich Bin Ein

November 3, 2006 5:12 PM

Google shows how Green Party candidates make newsLast debate of the campaign took place in Massachusetts today. The candidates were surprisingly bold in their promises to bring commuter rail and economic development to Southeastern Massachusetts. Of course, as you can see from the attached Google news summary, very few of the reporters who attended were interested in the issues. They just wanted to know if Grace Ross, the Green Party candidate, was offended by a radio talk show host calling her a "Fat Lesbian". I was there as she laughed it off, saying that it certainly was no news and that it wasn't up to her to chastise people like the talk show host. I think that it is time for Metafilter users to say, in the words of John F. Kennedy, "Ich Bin Ein Fat Lesbian." Write to the Boston Globe and let them know that you too are a "Fat Lesbian".
posted by notmtwain (51 comments total)

Best of the web, folks.
posted by Epenthesis at 5:26 PM on November 3, 2006

This wouldn't even be a good post for your own blog.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:31 PM on November 3, 2006

But I'm not a fat lesbian.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 5:31 PM on November 3, 2006

That's why I posted it, Epenthesis. Glad you liked it.
posted by notmtwain at 5:34 PM on November 3, 2006

Ew. Now I'm going to be afraid to use irony, like, forever.
posted by Epenthesis at 5:36 PM on November 3, 2006

Mr. Crash Davis, how can you not agree that a post showing the incredible pack mentality of the American media is worth considering? If you look at the Google search, there are more than 200 articles featuring the fact that the radio talk show host was first for saying "Fat Lesbian". There were only 3 on the actual contents of the debate.
posted by notmtwain at 5:36 PM on November 3, 2006

Er, me too...
posted by notmtwain at 5:37 PM on November 3, 2006

GYOFB. Jeez.
posted by fet at 5:38 PM on November 3, 2006

G Y O G D M F S O B B.

Oh, you have one. That's not been updated since mid-October.

Gee.

Please post without the obvious grinding of an axe.

I say this as a registered Green in MA.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 5:39 PM on November 3, 2006

Tough audience tonight.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 5:42 PM on November 3, 2006

But I'm not a fat lesbian.

But I'm not a Green.
posted by Hot Like Your 12V Wire at 5:43 PM on November 3, 2006

I thought that some people might be interested in the issue of whether or not a radio host should be fired for saying something like this.

I thought that some other people might be interested in the issue of how hard it is for third party candidates to break through.
posted by notmtwain at 5:47 PM on November 3, 2006

Perhaps. However, that's a slender, slender story--and the editorial angle in the FPP is decidedly unwelcome. As you will most likely learn within hours when the post is deleted.
posted by Epenthesis at 5:50 PM on November 3, 2006

It may be a slender story, but more than 200 news sources have picked it up within hours and it the list will probably top 1,000 within a day. And the editorializing was merely an epenthesis to the words "Fat Bastard". Oops, I mean "Fat Lesbian".
posted by notmtwain at 5:54 PM on November 3, 2006

IANAFL, but I do live in Mass, and I would ask those who want to send a message to the establishment to send Deval to the governor's seat but vote for Jill Stein for Secretary of State. If any political office needs a Green in it, it's the one charged with overseeing elections.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 5:56 PM on November 3, 2006

I think that it is time for Metafilter users to say, in the words of John F. Kennedy, "Ich Bin Ein Fat Lesbian." Write to the Boston Globe and let them know that you too are a "Fat Lesbian".

hahahahah What the fuck?
posted by delmoi at 6:02 PM on November 3, 2006

notmtwain: "Call to action" posts on metafilter are considered poor form. Do you see any other FPPs calling for mefites to get outraged and do some specific thing about something?
posted by delmoi at 6:05 PM on November 3, 2006

delmoi, in case you are unaware, Kennedy went to Berlin and said "Ich Bin Ein Berliner" after the Russians closed the borders between East and West Berlin, setting up the "Iron Curtain". I had thought that most Metafilter readers would get this without needing an explanation.
posted by notmtwain at 6:11 PM on November 3, 2006

notmtwain, I suggest you let it rest and see where the cards fall. Defending your post repeatedly is only going to fan the flames.

On preview: you may also want to turn on your sarcasm and humor sensors.
posted by brain_drain at 6:13 PM on November 3, 2006

Also, delmoi, I didn't actually expect Metafilter readers to do anything. It was, as epenthensis points out, irony, that fell like a lead balloon. I apologize.
posted by notmtwain at 6:14 PM on November 3, 2006

Meh. A major reason there is little coverage of the debate is because this election is basically in the bag. Healy has fallen way back in the polls, and the Boston media have been *dying* for something interesting to happen. This is about as good as it gets.

Plus, there *are* some serious discussions to be had regarding the merits of firing a talk-show host for calling someone a "fat lesbian." Does it matter that she *is* a lesbian? Should it matter?

Unless Deval came out at the debate as a fat lesbian himself, there was going to be little of note for the media to report, anyway. I'm sure Grace is thrilled to be getting any attention at all. I wonder if her bisexual, disabled running mate is jealous?
posted by Banky_Edwards at 6:34 PM on November 3, 2006

I wrote to the Boston Globe and told them that notmtwain is a retard who makes the entire Massachusetts left look bad by association and could they please suggest that she/he/it move to Vermont.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:34 PM on November 3, 2006

(and yes, notmtwain, I realize that using "retard" in a negative manner is going to force you to make an FPP calling on people to write to the Globe and say "Ich Bin Ein Retard!" That's exactly why I did it. To laugh at your OCD.)
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:36 PM on November 3, 2006

less axe-grinding and more animated boobs, please.
posted by bashos_frog at 6:37 PM on November 3, 2006

Ich bin keine fat, ich bin ein big boned lesbian.
posted by NewBornHippy at 6:38 PM on November 3, 2006

Green party? Thats sooo 2000.
posted by damn dirty ape at 6:41 PM on November 3, 2006

* cry for lack of img tag *
posted by rxrfrx at 6:57 PM on November 3, 2006

I am a jelly doughnut.
posted by yhbc at 7:10 PM on November 3, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

I am a big fat lesbian in the same manner I am a jelly donut, so I guess that works.
posted by luftmensch at 7:14 PM on November 3, 2006

Its funny because men don't get turned on by overweight lesbians and if its not to turn on men then what's the point?

Hehe, newbornhippy said boned.
posted by fenriq at 7:14 PM on November 3, 2006

Aw shit, I forgot, irony died in this thread.
posted by fenriq at 7:15 PM on November 3, 2006

Mayor Curley, as a Vermonter I can honestly say he'd be much better off in Maine.
posted by fenriq at 7:17 PM on November 3, 2006

How can you have looked at Metafilter before and not realized that this is an inappropriate post on so many levels?
posted by Falconetti at 7:18 PM on November 3, 2006

Falconetti - have you *seen* the front page today? Single link YouTubes everywhere, a single link to K-Fed's Amazon page, the requisite flood of Bush/Iraq/AxeGrindFilter posts...all in all, *not* MeFi's best day. Might as well throw some fat, green lesbians in there.

I blame the loss of the IMG tag. People feared the IMG-fest if they posted poorly...where is the danger, now?
posted by Banky_Edwards at 7:35 PM on November 3, 2006

Yeah, today really sucked - actually, all in all, the week was pretty lame.

Not so much that I was actually motivated to go forth and bring back some wicked awesome links, mind you.

*Resumes Arrested Development marathon*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:43 PM on November 3, 2006

Ich bin ein deleted thread.
posted by Rhomboid at 7:48 PM on November 3, 2006

Banky_Edwards: Might as well throw some fat, green lesbians in there.

I'll have you know that's a fat, green, lesbian from Worcester.
posted by paxton at 7:51 PM on November 3, 2006

delmoi, in case you are unaware, Kennedy went to Berlin and said "Ich Bin Ein Berliner" after the Russians closed the borders between East and West Berlin, setting up the "Iron Curtain". I had thought that most Metafilter readers would get this without needing an explanation.

LOL.
posted by delmoi at 7:52 PM on November 3, 2006

Sie sind nicht Mark Twain.
posted by loquacious at 7:53 PM on November 3, 2006

*does the hand whoosing over the head gesture*
posted by Rhomboid at 7:59 PM on November 3, 2006

There are times in your life when you think you've reached a new low; that things couldn't possibly get any worse. I had a similar experience today as I read the post beneath this one which is dedicated to, evidently, a page of poorly-animated oversized teats flopping to and fro like so many socks full of sand. Metafilter had hit it's own rock bottom, like a once-pretty girl who wakes up one morning to realize she spent last night giving blowjobs for crack between puffs of meth.

Oh, how I long for that bittersweet moment of naivete. It is shrill overreaction like this post that embarrasses me to have many common political leanings with the left. Some guy is an asshole, and said something crude about a chunky dyke. Let's collectively lose our shit and wring our hands until morally superior sweat drips from them and forms a great pool of righteousness that will wash our foes from these sacrosanct shores and drown them in a sea of almighty justice.

Fuck that. I'm going to go and try to get inside this girl's pants I've been working on for a week. Tips are welcome - but I can assure you I've already tried getting her drunk and being a dick. Perhaps if I call someone an obese homosexual in her presence she will get all hot and bothered like notmtwain, which I can convert, akimbo-throw style, into a night of hot, disgusting, depraved sex that will leave us to wake up in the morrow covered in bodily fluid, vaseline, and an inexplicable quantity of bacon fat.
posted by kfx at 8:04 PM on November 3, 2006

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-- "This post sucks. Where's my damn donut?"
posted by Rhomboid at 8:08 PM on November 3, 2006

I was just getting ready to write to the Boston Globe, but then I saw the thread below this one. I forgot why I was writing to the Boston Globe, but I think it had something to do with big, bouncy boobies. On so many levels.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 8:09 PM on November 3, 2006

Mayor Curley, as a Vermonter I can honestly say he'd be much better off in Maine.

fenriq, as a Mainer, I can honestly say that Maine's literacy rate north of about Bath isn't good enough to support a letter-writing campaign.
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:19 PM on November 3, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

i am a fat lesbian who shakes like a jelly donut ... and wait until you see my big boston globes
posted by pyramid termite at 8:19 PM on November 3, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

Okay then, Mayor Curley, can we exile him to Quebec?
posted by fenriq at 8:22 PM on November 3, 2006

Today, we are all fat lesbians.
posted by symbioid at 8:43 PM on November 3, 2006

Ungh. So as a Masshole, I saw this crap this morning on Fox-25-We're-still-sucking-the-teet-of-the20-point-behind-Republican News.

While I may be as liberal as the next neo-commie Republic of Cambridge resident, Grace Ross did not need to run for governor. Seriously. Kyle's mom would have had a better stage presence. However great Ross's ideas are, the Green-Rainbows needed to wake up and realize that the medium is the damn message and not run somone that could be Jabba the Hut wrapped in purple drop cloth in a state that last time around elected a fancy carpet-bagging haircut.

Being called a Fat Lesbian was about the best thing that could have happened to the Ross campaign. Instead of being a fouth-place footnote of the debate newscycle, Ross got to actually be at the fore for once. Instead of the mild passovers her candidacy after every debate, she was the focus point of said debate. That's a pretty good show for someone that has a Hell's chance of getting elected, someone that we only know about because Rob Gray is a weasely moron who wasn't smart enough to realize that opening the forum to let multiple candidates bang on his unpopular Republican candidate in public debates was not the smartest idea in the Universe until it was too late.

The only reason the radio dude got in trouble in the first place is that he defied his bosses and said something they said he shouldn't say. That's it. It's an inter-company power game that has precious little to do with the election that only got puffed up because the foregone Democratic victory on Tuesday makes for boring press.

Ungh! Ungh! I say! I hope it's not my disdain for the crossroads of local politics and local media talking (rather, I hope it is the many fine beers I've had this eveing), but seriously. Ungh!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:44 PM on November 3, 2006

Ask not what your fat lesbian can do for you, but what you can do for your fat lesbian.
posted by dr_dank at 8:48 PM on November 3, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

kfx: good luck with that.

Do a fpp and let us know how it went.
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 8:56 PM on November 3, 2006

dr_dank, okay, that got a good laugh.
posted by fenriq at 9:05 PM on November 3, 2006