Oops, she did it again.

November 7, 2006 1:38 PM

Britney Spears files for divorce from husband Kevin Federline. Spears, rocketed to fame in 1998 at the age of 16 by her debut single Hit Me Baby One More Time, married backup dancer Kevin Federline in September of 2004, scarcely nine months after her first abortive Las Vegasmarriage to childhood friend Jason Alexander. After two children (and one sculpture), Britney graciously introduced her husband at the recent Teen Choice awards where Kevin played a song from his new album. It looked like nothing could stop those two lovebirds. But after a recent Letterman appearance with a hot recently pregnant Britney showed up not wearing her rings, the truth finally came out. The dream is over.
posted by Stynxno (141 comments total)

No way!
posted by nevercalm at 1:41 PM on November 7, 2006

post started by brownpau, finished by stynxno.
posted by Stynxno at 1:41 PM on November 7, 2006

K-Fed WAY! yo!
posted by hal9k at 1:42 PM on November 7, 2006

TMZ has the papers (PDF). Oh joyous day! May he fall into obscurity and never recover!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:43 PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

.
posted by Bageena at 1:43 PM on November 7, 2006

The dream is over? But my dream is hearing that the both of them have been scrapped for spare parts.
posted by lekvar at 1:43 PM on November 7, 2006

*giggle*
posted by Bageena at 1:44 PM on November 7, 2006

PO PO ZOW PO PO ZOW.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 1:44 PM on November 7, 2006

I'm shocked !! (snark, snark)
posted by melkozek at 1:45 PM on November 7, 2006

Not to be overly bitchy - but I thought this was Metafilter, not Entertainment Tonight. Will we get a post on who is attending Brad Pitt's wedding next?
posted by caution live frogs at 1:47 PM on November 7, 2006

appearance with a hot recently pregnant Britney

What? Should there have been a comma in there? If so, no.
posted by hoborg at 1:47 PM on November 7, 2006

proof that God hates white trash
posted by Parannoyed at 1:48 PM on November 7, 2006 [2 favorites]

No, now the dream truly begins. Now that's she's single, I have a chance again!
posted by ORthey at 1:48 PM on November 7, 2006

i can't shake the feeling this is yet another "november surprise."
posted by ambulance blues at 1:48 PM on November 7, 2006 [2 favorites]

Holy shit, dude, you mean there are people who are even vaguely interested in this and yet cannot read the cover headlines on a gossip magazine in the newsagent? Metafilter saves the day!
posted by jacalata at 1:50 PM on November 7, 2006

.
posted by Kifer85 at 1:51 PM on November 7, 2006

Why has God permitted this wound to be inflicted upon us when we're still reeling from the Haggard scandal and the loss of the img tag?
posted by ibmcginty at 1:51 PM on November 7, 2006 [5 favorites]

Now that I think about it she's just upset that he knows so much more about time travel than she does.
posted by lekvar at 1:52 PM on November 7, 2006

NOVEMBER SURPRISE
posted by tittergrrl at 1:52 PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

One morning she woke up and realized she had just named her infant son Jayden and suddenly she knew she'd hit rock bottom. Congratulations Britney! The nightmare is over, and best wishes for a speedy recovery!
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:54 PM on November 7, 2006

He'll be just fine without her.
posted by ninjew at 1:56 PM on November 7, 2006

Clearly this is an attempt to restore the sanctity of marriage.
posted by drezdn at 1:56 PM on November 7, 2006

At least CNN took down the breaking news banner for this.
posted by smackfu at 1:57 PM on November 7, 2006

Breaking News from ABCNEWS.com:

POP STAR BRITNEY SPEARS HAS FILED FOR DIVORCE FROM HUSBAND KEVIN FEDERLINE, CITING IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES, A COURT SPOKESWOMAN SAYS
posted by smackfu at 1:57 PM on November 7, 2006

I see some time for healing. Lots of crying and bloating out on ice cream. Then the talk show circuit about how bad the heart hurts but strength wins through. Perhaps a diet shake endorsement? Then an album from the Great American Songbook. Followed by death. By kiki.

Britney, on the other hand, comes out fine.
posted by hal9k at 1:57 PM on November 7, 2006 [2 favorites]

Let's take bets on who she'll end up with next. I say Nicholas Cage.
posted by gfrobe at 1:59 PM on November 7, 2006

George Clooney!
posted by thirteenkiller at 2:01 PM on November 7, 2006

Kevin will bounce back!
posted by dobbs at 2:01 PM on November 7, 2006

Fuck the Rolling Stones, K-Fed's INNOVATIN'!
posted by NationalKato at 2:01 PM on November 7, 2006

She's mine! Mine!

Back off all of you. I have a square dance rap record to release and she's my ticket to fame!
posted by DragonBoy at 2:02 PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

Guess that makes him the FED-EX! HAHAH! Ok, I totally stole that from Perez.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:02 PM on November 7, 2006 [2 favorites]

POP STAR BRITNEY SPEARS HAS FILED FOR DIVORCE FROM HUSBAND KEVIN FEDERLINE, CITING IRRECONCILABLE RAPPING ABILITY
posted by fire&wings at 2:03 PM on November 7, 2006 [2 favorites]

POP STAR BRITNEY SPEARS HAS FILED FOR DIVORCE FROM HUSBAND KEVIN FEDERLINE, CITING IRRECONCILABLE SIMILARITIES
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 2:05 PM on November 7, 2006 [2 favorites]

If you care about this, do humanity a favor and shoot yourself. Thanks.
posted by acetonic at 2:05 PM on November 7, 2006

I'm going to miss him. He was the Billy Carter of pop music.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:07 PM on November 7, 2006

At least now K-Fed will have time to work on his budding career as a Professional Wrestler.

No really, look it up.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 2:07 PM on November 7, 2006

I'm too cool to care about this.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 2:08 PM on November 7, 2006

it's times like these that I wish futurehusbandsofbritneyspears.com was still around.
posted by Stynxno at 2:09 PM on November 7, 2006

OMG. This is terrible.
First Reese and Ryan, now.... this.
A sad day.
posted by hatchetjack at 2:10 PM on November 7, 2006

I think she waited to election day to announce the breakup since it would be the only day where this wouldn't be the top story on the news.
posted by metaname at 2:12 PM on November 7, 2006

Wow, and she waited until right after the weak debut of his album.

ouch.

Oh well, K-Fed's got his wrestling career to think about now. He interfered with the championship bout at this past weekend's WWE pay per view event, and last night John Cena accepted his challenge to face him in a televised match on New Year's Day.
posted by First Post at 2:13 PM on November 7, 2006

This post makes me nostalgic for the one-link posts to dailykos.
posted by leftcoastbob at 2:14 PM on November 7, 2006

metaname

Yet it still is.

/weep
posted by InnocentBystander at 2:14 PM on November 7, 2006

As a former child star, pop star, and multi-millionaire, let me just remind the rest of you that this is why you have pre-nups. Some bitch always wants half yo.
posted by bardic at 2:15 PM on November 7, 2006

You people are missing the bigger issue here. He now has free reign to go forth and create more offspring.
posted by ninjew at 2:16 PM on November 7, 2006

Let's take bets on who she'll end up with next. I say Nicholas Cage.
posted by gfrobe at 3:59 PM CST on November 7

I think it fitting that she re-marry the childhood friend that she was married to for 72 hours or whatever. I got the feeling from the very beginning that she was "forced" out of that marriage by her managers and publicists.

Of course, now she's damaged goods, so that wholesome down-home boy may not have her now.

Damaged Goods. God, wouldn't that be a great title for her next album? Her wearing a skimpy UPS type outfit with a bunch of crushed and torn boxes all around her?
posted by Ynoxas at 2:18 PM on November 7, 2006 [4 favorites]

Dude, this is the best the GOP's 72 Hour Teams could do?
posted by RakDaddy at 2:20 PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

So let's see here, you start out as a backup dancer for one of the hottest girls on the planet, she falls for whatever lame ass gimick you've thought of and proceeds to fall in love with your no talent ass. You then exploit it enough so that you'll get paid to sit on your ass all day and do nothing, but you're not finished, you're an artist. So you wrangle out a cd and an image, garnering attention amoung the pre-teens and stay at home moms that cling to ET, Access Hollywood, and the Insider to feel a little less sad about their lives. Unfortunetly no amount of studio magic that your wife used could ever make you a star. After popping out the two kids she wanted from you she left you with her prenup still intact. Now you can crawl back to obsecurity, pick up the pieces of your last family and see if they need another contestent on the Surreal Life.

You're a blip on the pop culture timeline, a joke people tell each other at parties all the while shouting your 30-second catchphrase... POPOZAO!
posted by Derek at 2:20 PM on November 7, 2006

A few days ago, I saw someone point to his album as an example of how tags work well, and at the time I wondered why someone had added the tags "metafiler", "mefi", and "metafiltercom". Was that preparation for this post?
posted by scottreynen at 2:21 PM on November 7, 2006

I never understood how everybody argues that he's really dumb and crude and crass and horrible (he is, of course) but on the other hand she isn't. wtf? he really doesn't seem to be that much beneath her -- they looked like a good match. it's not like she's Audrey Hepburn, guys
posted by matteo at 2:21 PM on November 7, 2006

This is so funny I forgot to vote.

OH SHIT!
posted by grobstein at 2:23 PM on November 7, 2006

I really thought they were forever.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:25 PM on November 7, 2006

Guess she must have listened to his CD.
posted by graventy at 2:26 PM on November 7, 2006

I love how the Emperor post is wearing intentionally new clothes ironic.
posted by CynicalKnight at 2:27 PM on November 7, 2006

I hear she's gonna marry the other Jason Alexander now, y'know, George Costanza.
posted by fixedgear at 2:29 PM on November 7, 2006

Gooooooodbye, greaseball!
posted by Jupiter Jones at 2:31 PM on November 7, 2006

I applaud a well formed FPP, regardless of the content. I think that stynxno deserves a hand for managing to sum up Britney's life in one Metafilter post. :)
posted by drstein at 2:34 PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

if you play with fire, you'll get burned.
posted by futureproof at 2:36 PM on November 7, 2006

The dream is over.

If by that you mean the blissful period where I didnt have to hear about Britney and Co., yes. *sigh*
posted by elendil71 at 2:37 PM on November 7, 2006

The terrorists have officially won.
posted by tula at 2:38 PM on November 7, 2006

Love is over.
posted by kosher_jenny at 2:38 PM on November 7, 2006

Now K-Fed will be free to pursue his true soulmate, Paris Hilton.

Unfortunately, a Paris/K-Fed pairing may generate a talent/intelligence black hole capable of destroying the Earth. But I'm willing to take that risk.
posted by wendell at 2:39 PM on November 7, 2006

i am so sorry.
posted by moonbird at 2:41 PM on November 7, 2006

I applaud a well formed FPP, regardless of the content. I think that stynxno deserves a hand for managing to sum up Britney's life in one Metafilter post. :)

Brownpau was really the star of this. He came up with the idea and got the initial ball rolling. Fandango_matt was the first person to announce this split to the internets, from what I know. He knew about it before tmz I believe. My only contribution was the bad grammer, the statue, and a few things at the end. Hell, even thepinksuperhero helped in creating this - she told me about brit's appearance on letterman.

So it was a group effort.
posted by Stynxno at 2:42 PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

You suckers can kill yourselves over this "Briney" character. I am now finally free to pursue ownership of KFED and reap teh benefits!

(We're talking about KFED Bancorp, right?)

Oh.

posted by Extopalopaketle at 2:42 PM on November 7, 2006

I think that stynxno deserves a hand for managing to sum up Britney's life in one Metafilter post.

Almost, but not quite. Stynxno missed the bit where Britney got completely maggoted on...on...what was she on again?
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:43 PM on November 7, 2006

She was really missing out on life.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:44 PM on November 7, 2006

A few days ago, I saw someone point to his album as an example of how tags work well, and at the time I wondered why someone had added the tags "metafiler", "mefi", and "metafiltercom". Was that preparation for this post?

I'm guessing you missed the metafilter post about that from a few days ago then.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:47 PM on November 7, 2006

If the rich and famous can't find a true and lasting love, how is an average guy like me supposed to have any hope?
posted by vagabond at 2:49 PM on November 7, 2006

wendell : Now K-Fed will be free to pursue his true soulmate, Paris Hilton.

Holy fuck would that be perfect! I've always had a sort of smoldering indifference to Brittney, but Paris... there's a chick you can really hate.

Her and K-fed get together? It's puts them in one place and makes a smiting from on high that much easier. I'm going to start beseeching my Voodoo gods now to make this happen.

[My god, just thinking about it... they could be the richest white trash couple in the history of everything. The mind boggles.]
posted by quin at 2:54 PM on November 7, 2006

No, no she won't get back with her childhood best friend, because he's GOING OUT WITH K-FED'S EX-WIFE. No, that's not weird at all.

Why do I know that? Damn you waiting room gossip mags!
posted by liquorice at 3:00 PM on November 7, 2006

My guess for her future husband is Tom Arnold. Kevin Brown, the Domino's Pizza Noid, or the Bush twins.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 3:02 PM on November 7, 2006

Now Britney will be free to pursue her true soulmate, Paris Hilton

Fixed.
posted by Slothrup at 3:02 PM on November 7, 2006

A little bit of my heart just died.
posted by jimmythefish at 3:05 PM on November 7, 2006

She looks better than she looked in ages in that Letterman clip. Seriously.
posted by bardic at 3:07 PM on November 7, 2006

This is a plot to influence the elections, right?
posted by space2k at 3:08 PM on November 7, 2006

They both suck so I'm not going to comment in this thread, stupid sheep. My day is ruined because you've all made me read your 75+ comments, waaah, my gerber is cold.
posted by ernie at 3:09 PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

Also, my pampers are full.
posted by ernie at 3:10 PM on November 7, 2006

This is gonna make the baby Jesus cry.
posted by hojoki at 3:10 PM on November 7, 2006

Man, this is a George Michael-accompanied photo-montage just waiting to happen.
posted by Jefff at 3:11 PM on November 7, 2006

This is gonna make the baby Jesus cry.

I just gave that pimp a holla and he be all too drunk to cry and shit. You know what I'm sayin'.
posted by jimmythefish at 3:13 PM on November 7, 2006

I heard the genocide in Sudan completely stopped when they heard about this. Everyone's really bummed out.
posted by hojoki at 3:17 PM on November 7, 2006

"I never understood how everybody argues that he's really dumb and crude and crass and horrible (he is, of course) but on the other hand she isn't. wtf? he really doesn't seem to be that much beneath her -- they looked like a good match. it's not like she's Audrey Hepburn, guys"

Word to that. She's just as vacuous and talentless as duder is. I don't even know how to respond to Derek referring to BSPRShuur as "one of the hottest girls on the planet."

Maybe if you're into chicks that look like every other bleach-blonde, cow eyed, cheerleader type in the western hemisphere...

You know what Britney is? She's K-Fed, with tits and better management.
posted by stenseng at 3:27 PM on November 7, 2006

when the revolution comes, Britney, K-Fed, and all their little boy and girl band cohorts will be called to the mat. Lucky for them, the revolution has been postponed due to intoxication.
posted by jonmc at 3:33 PM on November 7, 2006

I never understood how everybody argues that he's really dumb and crude and crass and horrible (he is, of course) but on the other hand she isn't. wtf? he really doesn't seem to be that much beneath her -- they looked like a good match. it's not like she's Audrey Hepburn, guys
posted by matteo

Amen to that. She's an absolute wreck with more foot odor than talent. The sooner she's a memory the better.

She looks better than she looked in ages in that Letterman clip. Seriously.
posted by bardic

Amazing what surgery can do, huh?
posted by justgary at 3:40 PM on November 7, 2006

jonmc : Lucky for them, the revolution has been postponed due to intoxication.

Hey, I resent that implication. I shoot better when I'm drunk. Let's get it started, I've got a bottle of Jack and a burning urge to put more than a few people up against the wall.

Viva La Inebriation!
posted by quin at 3:42 PM on November 7, 2006

I heard K-Rove paid her six figures to wait until today to announce it.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 3:44 PM on November 7, 2006

Isn't KFed just this generation's Kato Kaelin?
posted by leftcoastbob at 3:45 PM on November 7, 2006

Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty we're free at last!
posted by Britney's Nipples at 3:47 PM on November 7, 2006

POP STAR BRITNEY SPEARS HAS FILED FOR DIVORCE FROM HUSBAND KEVIN FEDERLINE, CITING "IREKONSYLLLIBLE DIFRENCES" "EWREKONSSIBLE DUFFRUNSES" "HE'S A BIG DOODOOHEAD"
posted by Sparx at 3:49 PM on November 7, 2006

KFed's bank account and career is gonna be so KFucked from this day forth.
posted by Effigy2000 at 3:49 PM on November 7, 2006

So basically, K-Fed is F-Ked.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:51 PM on November 7, 2006 [5 favorites]

Soon to be K-Fed-ex.
posted by leftcoastbob at 3:57 PM on November 7, 2006

Mmmmm, that's mighty good Pepsi Blue Haterade!
posted by tommasz at 4:05 PM on November 7, 2006

In honour of the occassion, I have hastily thrown together this cover. Ha!
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 4:09 PM on November 7, 2006

occasion, really.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 4:10 PM on November 7, 2006

A sobering thought.

Federline was born in '78. He fathered his first child in 2002 at age 22. He has fathered three other children, in 2004, 2005 and 2006. He is now 28. Assuming he lives to be 50, if he continues breeding at the current rate, he will produce as many as 18 children by 2028.

So, in summary, by 2050, at least 22 Federline offspring but no more fish.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:14 PM on November 7, 2006 [2 favorites]

I would suggest to Ms. Spears that henceforth, she do all her monogramming in the upper left corner of sheets, towels, stationery, blowing bowling apparel, etc. etc. (It's best to plan ahead.)

In possibly related news, Bob "V." Dole is expected to serve divorce papers to the Senator.
posted by rob511 at 4:14 PM on November 7, 2006

Britney is pure, unadulterated, white trash, just like her husband. The only difference is she is trash with money.

I wish both of them would just disappear-and he would get sterilized. At least we won't have to see him in is "Federline Ferrari" and wife beater shirt-except in next week's people magazine. (Not that I read that. Really.)
posted by aacheson at 4:26 PM on November 7, 2006

Hey, I resent that implication. I shoot better when I'm drunk. Let's get it started, I've got a bottle of Jack and a burning urge to put more than a few people up against the wall.

Viva La Inebriation!
posted by quin at 3:42 PM PST

Mr. Cheney, why aren't you watching the election outcomes?
posted by rough ashlar at 4:27 PM on November 7, 2006

AWESOME!

Now he can get revenge by releasing their sex tape.
posted by oddman at 4:29 PM on November 7, 2006

I know I suggested she was maybe a little on the stupid side, but in one word she showed she was smarter than Paul McCartney:

PRENUP
posted by Sparx at 4:34 PM on November 7, 2006

Britney is pure, unadulterated, white trash, just like her husband.

Please. Let's not insult the white trash.
posted by jonmc at 4:44 PM on November 7, 2006

So, in summary, by 2050, at least 22 Federline offspring but no more fish.

And if all of them follow the same trend, we'll be living in Federline Nation real soon. I smell a webpage (a cross between the hamsters page and the animated boobies page would do.)
posted by NewBornHippy at 4:48 PM on November 7, 2006

AWESOME!

Now he can get revenge by releasing their sex tape.
posted by oddman at 8:29 AM ACST on November 8

Please, please tell me you are missing a /sarcasm tag. I think breakfast is deciding to pay a revisit thinking about this tape.
posted by Pollomacho at 4:49 PM on November 7, 2006

by 2050, at least 22 Federline offspring but no more fish

So there will be room in the ocean for all of them?
posted by Hicksu at 4:55 PM on November 7, 2006

Joey Michaels writes "A sobering thought.

"Federline was born in '78. He fathered his first child in 2002 at age 22. He has fathered three other children, in 2004, 2005 and 2006. He is now 28. Assuming he lives to be 50, if he continues breeding at the current rate, he will produce as many as 18 children by 2028. "

The scary part is, he keeps finding women that aren't repulsed by him. And knocking them up. Given enough time the world really will end up as described in Idiocracy...
posted by clevershark at 4:55 PM on November 7, 2006

Pfft, he has a long way to go if he wants to catch up with Screamin' Jay Hawkins.
posted by keswick at 5:08 PM on November 7, 2006

*weeps uncontrollably*
*downs shot of Jager*
*weeps some more*
posted by zardoz at 5:22 PM on November 7, 2006

Next time I get a divorce, I totally want Stynxno and the Gang to do the FPP. That was awesome.
posted by JanetLand at 5:37 PM on November 7, 2006

At last, Britney. Our time is now.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:37 PM on November 7, 2006

janetland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Stynxno at 5:53 PM on November 7, 2006

Sanctity of marriage, baby. Oh yeah.
posted by arcticwoman at 6:06 PM on November 7, 2006

TRAILER TRASH TEUSDAY!
posted by quonsar at 6:48 PM on November 7, 2006

List of Famous People who DON'T GIVE A FLYING F**K about this otherwise prestigeous thread

Acetonic: If you care about this, do humanity a favor and shoot yourself. Thanks.

Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese : I'm too cool to care about this.

Caution live frogs : Not to be overly bitchy - but I thought this was Metafilter, not Entertainment Tonight. Will we get a post on who is attending Brad Pitt's wedding next?

Feel free to add yourself to the list of HOT'N'FAMOUS of Metafilter !
posted by elpapacito at 6:54 PM on November 7, 2006

Only important issues get 116 comments (go ahead and count if you don't believe me).
posted by itchylick at 7:01 PM on November 7, 2006

Federline was born in '78. He fathered his first child in 2002 at age 22. He has fathered three other children, in 2004, 2005 and 2006. He is now 28. Assuming he lives to be 50, if he continues breeding at the current rate, he will produce as many as 18 children by 2028.

So, in summary, by 2050, at least 22 Federline offspring but no more fish

Way to drive me to the drink, man.

Fuck.
posted by bumpkin at 7:02 PM on November 7, 2006

Best of the web!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:27 PM on November 7, 2006

Maybe if you're into chicks that look like every other bleach-blonde, cow eyed, cheerleader type in the western hemisphere...

Provided their body looks like, and moves like, hers in the Toxic video, then yes, by all means, I'll take as many as you can provide.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:26 PM on November 7, 2006

keswick: Reaching Screamin'-Jay-Hawkins-level is beyond ambitious. That man was fucking brilliant. A drunken genious.

Alligator wine
you're a porcupine
it's gonna make you mine
it's gonna make you mine
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 8:50 PM on November 7, 2006

No argument here, my friend. Screamin' Jay Hawkins is the best music to scare white folk with.

np: Constipation Blues
posted by keswick at 9:17 PM on November 7, 2006

Thank goodness there's no real news today so we can all concentrate on trailer trash throwing out her lamer trash. Woohoo.

How many hours until K-Fed shows up on Surreal Life? Or the Bachelor? Eww.
posted by fenriq at 9:24 PM on November 7, 2006

Not cow, stenseng--Luck Dragon!
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 9:30 PM on November 7, 2006

This thread makes me wish for image tags again. :(
posted by CRM114 at 9:36 PM on November 7, 2006

Meh, the cool kids are listening to lady Sov anyhow, or so they tell me.
posted by Iron Rat at 9:41 PM on November 7, 2006

I bet he cheated on her. He seems stupid enough to fuck up his free ride for a one night stand.
posted by stavrogin at 9:59 PM on November 7, 2006

Excellent FPP; brilliant thread.
posted by nonmerci at 10:08 PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

You know, if you find the right singer, Popozao really isn't that bad of a song.
posted by concrete at 10:17 PM on November 7, 2006

Federline was born in '78. He fathered his first child in 2002 at age 22.

So the rumors are true -- he can travel through time.

B Spears is teh chubkill.
posted by oncogenesis at 12:10 AM on November 8, 2006

Maybe this will help you through the tough times.

[right/ctrl click to download mp3, note, it gets really good after a minute]
posted by JBennett at 7:10 AM on November 8, 2006

Fuck
posted by ob at 7:33 AM on November 8, 2006

rob511: In possibly related news, Bob "V." Dole is expected to serve divorce papers to the Senator.

Wha? Is this a joke I'm not getting?
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 7:39 AM on November 8, 2006

Spears is waiving her right to spousal support and is asking the judge to make each party pay their own attorney's fees.

OK, ok, this is a crap story, but really...
posted by GhostintheMachine at 7:57 AM on November 8, 2006

He seems stupid enough to fuck up his free ride for a one night stand.

There were rumors of him hanging out with trashy hoes, strippers in Vegas, etc. Even if he didn't cheap, he ruined his marriage to a rich, hot woman who wantet to live in a big mansion with him and make babies. How stupid can you be? It's only downhill from here, K-Fed.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:08 AM on November 8, 2006 [1 favorite]

Even if he didn't CHEAT. I swear I fixed that in preview.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:10 AM on November 8, 2006 [1 favorite]

There were rumors of him hanging out with trashy hoes, strippers in Vegas

He was married to a 'trashy hoe' (fred durst?), and I'm sure there are strippers in vegas who would be offended by your comparison.
posted by justgary at 2:46 PM on November 8, 2006

She denied the Fred Durst thing. Sort of.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:51 PM on November 8, 2006 [1 favorite]

The thing that amazes me about this is the level of interest these people generate. I'm not saying that in a "omg, if you care about this you should just shoot yourself now" way, I am just astounded by it, my own interest included. People writing and recording songs about her and her silver pants? Hundreds of comments on MeFi of all places on a divorce announcement that no one except for K-Fed himself is actually surprised about? Ongoing, and ongoing, and ONGOING coverage in People magazine about the timeline of the marriage and divorce? Seriously, I wonder why we're so fascinated by this. Someone should do a research project.
posted by jennaratrix at 3:28 PM on November 8, 2006

Amusing anecdote: A friend of a friend works as a piercer on one of the Hawaiian islands. Back when she was still doing the virginal-good-girl thing, she came into his shop to get her belly button pierced.

He did the piercing and then got himself a t-shirt made up that said 'I did Brittney'.
posted by quin at 3:40 PM on November 8, 2006

Maybe an African baby will adopt one of them.
posted by DenOfSizer at 3:57 PM on November 8, 2006

Priceless. Just priceless:

A video of Britney Spears' soon-to-be ex-husband apparently getting a text message informing him that the pop princess had filed for divorce became the most viewed item on the YouTube Internet site on Thursday, with more than 1 million hits.

The Web video shows Federline taping a reality television show and talking about Spears being his biggest fan -- until he gets a text message. Then he puts his head in his hands, rips off his microphone and disappears, returning 30 minutes later visibly upset.

Ok, not too priceless. You know some dick is going to FPP this. BritneyFilter.
posted by dgaicun at 12:01 AM on November 10, 2006