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November 13, 2006 2:13 PM   Subscribe

Do you hate David Blaine as much as I do? (~NSFW, auto-start, loud Flash video).
posted by JPowers (71 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Sorta funny ... the camera stare cracked me up.

But David Blaine is Ricky Jay next to Chris "Mindfreak" Angel.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:27 PM on November 13, 2006


You're going to do time in hell for putting Ricky Jay's name in the same sentence as that hack's.
posted by phearlez at 2:43 PM on November 13, 2006


Vid don't work for me.

And what phearlez said.
posted by dobbs at 2:46 PM on November 13, 2006


Metafilter: Your favourite magician sucks.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:54 PM on November 13, 2006


you tube

Admittedly, it's pretty funny when you compare it to anything on SNL.
posted by fungible at 3:02 PM on November 13, 2006


To be clear: Ricky Jay is God. David Blaine sucks. But my God, Mindfreak is frickin' awful.
posted by Bookhouse at 3:25 PM on November 13, 2006


And his religious cult killed Kenny too!
posted by darkripper at 3:33 PM on November 13, 2006


"I'm five foot ace of spades."

Funny.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:42 PM on November 13, 2006


fungible writes "Admittedly, it's pretty funny when you compare it to anything on SNL."

Odd. My thoughts exactly. Stop putting things in my fucking mind!
posted by defenestration at 3:42 PM on November 13, 2006


I'm just kind of amazed people even pay attention to Dave.. David.. Blonde.. what's his name again? I mean he's like the Rush Limbaugh of .. whatever media whore thing he does.
posted by elendil71 at 3:48 PM on November 13, 2006


Holy fucking shit fucks.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 3:51 PM on November 13, 2006


I hate him because he's a dullard who gets tons of hot chicks.
posted by wfc123 at 3:51 PM on November 13, 2006


Awesome!
posted by ColdChef at 3:52 PM on November 13, 2006


Yes, I hate David Blaine as much as you do. Especially that just-ate-a-fistful-of-valium lethargy that he tries to pass off as being mysterious. These guys nailed it pretty well.

More realistic swearing would have been lots better.
"Holy fucking shit fucks!" (?) Do you really swear that that? Not on my watch, mister.
posted by braintoast at 4:02 PM on November 13, 2006


I've always found Blaine's big attention-garnering stunts to be a bit boring, but as a street magician he's quite entertaining. I can see why people would be put off by the persona he cops, but, whatever, at least it's better than the ridiculous flourish characterized by most mainstream magicians.

I do find it absolutely hilarious that people care about it so much though. I swear, David Blaine threads on MeFi are like I/P threads sometimes. What a borderline insane thing to argue about.

I mean he's like the Rush Limbaugh of .. whatever media whore thing he does.

I'm not sure this makes sense in the remotest sense of the word, but I have been accused of being intentionally obtuse.
posted by The God Complex at 4:07 PM on November 13, 2006


sweet tears funny
posted by creeptick at 4:11 PM on November 13, 2006


Queers are predictable.
posted by econous at 4:18 PM on November 13, 2006


WHAT
THE
F
DAVID?
posted by emelenjr at 4:27 PM on November 13, 2006


I think this was a pretty good idea, but I would have enjoyed it more if the two regular dude actors had even the slightest hint of acting talent.
posted by Kwine at 4:32 PM on November 13, 2006


that was cute, i liked it.
posted by facetious at 4:41 PM on November 13, 2006


It's been a while since I've seen David Blaine, but I seem to recall that he wore a lot of eye makeup...am I wrong about that?
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 4:45 PM on November 13, 2006


This word "hate."

I do not think it means what you think it does.
posted by jaronson at 4:49 PM on November 13, 2006


I dunno, I thought that was pretty funny!

But, to all the Blaine haters (and "Mindfreak" guy too), is it the presentation style that grates you?
Or is it the calibre of tricks?

Are they too easily explained?
(Feel free to poke holes in some of them - I love finding out magic secrets, I can never figure that crap out on my own.)
posted by Tbola at 5:03 PM on November 13, 2006


Yes, too much to even bother watching.
posted by anticlock at 5:10 PM on November 13, 2006


It's been a while since I've seen David Blaine, but I seem to recall that he wore a lot of eye makeup

You're thinking of Dave Navarro.
posted by cortex at 5:21 PM on November 13, 2006


Those guys were in all in the main company cast of The Groundlings last year. (I think The Groundlings recently went through a cast change, as I only see one of those guys now on the website.)

I've seen them all live and I think they're hilarious. In one of the last shows I saw they did an amazing spoof of Deal Or No Deal.
posted by FlunkedFlank at 5:22 PM on November 13, 2006


Queers are predictable.

Not to me. I fully expected to see David Blaine cornholing those two rent-boys down that cruising alley.

"The Ace of Spades is up my ass? So how much will you pay me to let you retrieve it, big boy?"
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:57 PM on November 13, 2006


A friend of mine uses "David Blaine" to substitute for "go fuck yourself" in situations where that kind of language would be inappropriate. For emphasis, he enunciates.

A: "Did you get the vice president those numbers yet?"
D: "David. Blaine."
posted by nevercalm at 6:08 PM on November 13, 2006


Tough crowd here. I thought it was hilarious.
posted by brain_drain at 6:57 PM on November 13, 2006


But, to all the Blaine haters (and "Mindfreak" guy too), is it the presentation style that grates you?
Or is it the calibre of tricks?


To me, its the fact that they both obviously use camera tricks and fake audience members, combined with an air of "mystery" that just rankles. Ricky Jay presents himself as a master of a certain skill set that allows him to fuck with your mind. (Penn and Teller have a similar attitude).

While I've heard that David Blaine is a pretty good close-up magician, stuff on his shows (and Criss Angel is worse) are often actors looking amazed while the camera looks the wrong way.
posted by Bookhouse at 7:19 PM on November 13, 2006


In order for magic to work on TV, there is a covenant between spectator and magician that everything you see on the tube is what you'd see if you were standing there. Blaine violates that (eg: the Balducci Levitation. Blaine may actually perform the real thing for the live spectators, but his TV audience saw him floating thanks to cables; certainly shot later without spectators and spliced into the initial shots.) That's just not playing fair.

.
posted by RavinDave at 7:49 PM on November 13, 2006


(Feel free to poke holes in some of them - I love finding out magic secrets, I can never figure that crap out on my own.)

The secret: everything is fucking staged. No, wait, i'm lying, David Blaine can really perform feats of levitation and telepathy.
posted by tehloki at 7:53 PM on November 13, 2006


David Blaine can really perform feats of levitation and telepathy. Serious?
posted by econous at 9:34 PM on November 13, 2006


I liked it! I don't remember David Blaine having a moustache or doing the camera stare though.. but the latter was hilar-ious.
posted by catburger at 9:41 PM on November 13, 2006


To me, its the fact that they both obviously use camera tricks and fake audience members, combined with an air of "mystery" that just rankles.

Yea, Copperfield would never do that.

Despite liking Blaine, I thought this was fucking shit fuck hilarious.
posted by freudianslipper at 9:43 PM on November 13, 2006


Yea, Copperfield would never do that.

Who's sticking up for Copperfield? The point is that Dai Vernon wouldn't do that.
posted by Bookhouse at 9:57 PM on November 13, 2006


Yea, Copperfield would never do that.

Who's sticking up for Copperfield? The point is that Dai Vernon wouldn't do that.


yeah, but does he levitate? seriously though my point is, wtf is the beef with blaine? he's an entertainer just like dai vernon. he's just doing it in a different venue. do you think dai vernon REALLY made those balls transfer magically from one cup to another? SPOILER WARNING: no.
posted by freudianslipper at 10:15 PM on November 13, 2006


Dai Vernon
[This is good.]
posted by anotherpanacea at 11:55 PM on November 13, 2006


do you think dai vernon REALLY made those balls transfer magically from one cup to another?

Um, if I'm not mistaken, the objection is not that Blaine is not doing REAL MAGIC, but rather that he is running a fame-stakes confidence game with you as the mark. He is not practicing magic of any kind, but merely paying people off and filming the event.

I hate magic acts in general, but Blaine shouldn't even be considered that. If he can't do it in front of you even with misdirection, it's not "magic".
posted by dreamsign at 12:21 AM on November 14, 2006


David Blaine can really perform feats of levitation and telepathy. Serious?

YA RLY.

I was this close to making it the Macrame permutation of the meme, but decided to just go with the words. YOUR LOSS.
posted by sparkletone at 12:56 AM on November 14, 2006


You're thinking of Dave Navarro.

You're thinking of Jared Leto.
posted by bwg at 4:05 AM on November 14, 2006


I was a ringer in a David Copperfield trick on stage once. All I got out of it was some nerve damage in my wrist and an autographed picture. Of course, I can't display the pic cause it looks like he's coming onto me.
posted by Dantien at 6:16 AM on November 14, 2006


YOU'RE THINKING OF SKEET ULRICH
posted by cortex at 6:19 AM on November 14, 2006


You're thinking of Lars Ulrich
posted by Kwine at 6:26 AM on November 14, 2006


I may be missing something, and granted all I know of David Blaine is from casual TV viewing, but why does everybody hate him so much? Seems harmless enough to me.
posted by jonmc at 6:27 AM on November 14, 2006


YOU'RE THINKING OF LARS VON TRIER
posted by cortex at 6:32 AM on November 14, 2006


jonmc, here's a concise answer, here's a more elaborate one, although they're both a little self-serving and the hate is definitely not restricted to one nation.
posted by pleeker at 6:37 AM on November 14, 2006


You're thinking of David Alan Grier
posted by Kwine at 6:51 AM on November 14, 2006


KING RICHARD ALLEN DEAN ANDERSON FOSTER VIITH GUEST
posted by cortex at 6:54 AM on November 14, 2006


I yield.
posted by Kwine at 6:56 AM on November 14, 2006


I don't think most people hate Blaine for his "street magic." Some of that's kind of sweet and harmless, like the stuff they're parodying here.

What I hate, most certainly, is his need to repeatly bury himself naked submerged in a block of ice on a bed of nails while hanging over a pool of sharks in Times Square for six months. Attention whore!
posted by fungible at 7:47 AM on November 14, 2006


yeah, but does he levitate? seriously though my point is, wtf is the beef with blaine? he's an entertainer just like dai vernon. he's just doing it in a different venue. do you think dai vernon REALLY made those balls transfer magically from one cup to another? SPOILER WARNING: no.

Obviously, that wasn't my point. Several people have said this throughout the thread, but one more time:

The problem with these guys is that they cheat in a way that is unique to television, and in a manner that ruins the fun for anyone with half a brain. In live theater, a magician can lie, cheat and steal because you are right there, and your eye-witnessing adds a sense of realness to the proceedings. But with magic on television, there have to be some boundaries or there's no drama or mystery to it at all. I mean, no shit you can make a person levitate on screen ... did you see The Matrix?
posted by Bookhouse at 7:59 AM on November 14, 2006


This was pretty funny.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:06 AM on November 14, 2006


All I've got to say is: Bo Selecta!

Here is a weak ass clip, still has a bit of funny in it. And plenty of swears.
posted by asok at 8:30 AM on November 14, 2006


But, to all the Blaine haters (and "Mindfreak" guy too), is it the presentation style that grates you?

The case for twatness.

posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:19 AM on November 14, 2006


And I thought Americans were losers for electing Bush.
posted by cytherea at 11:29 AM on November 14, 2006


David Blaine, your magic is real and I believe in you.
posted by Tacodog at 12:04 PM on November 14, 2006


(you f’ing demon!) worth a replay.
posted by engling at 1:01 PM on November 14, 2006


I greatly prefer the Amazing Jonathan.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:19 PM on November 14, 2006


Yet I will never forget Lance Burton.
*Steve Forbes stare*
That guy has ads everywhere in Vegas. Never saw him, just ‘cause of that.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:22 PM on November 14, 2006


Smedleyman : I greatly prefer the Amazing Jonathan.

Oh hell yeah.
posted by quin at 2:42 PM on November 14, 2006


Wow, I had forgotten about the Amazing Jonathan. Awesome.

As for the Blaine post, I thought it was funny but too long. The camera stare was the best part, indeed.

pleeker,
Unfortunately both of those "articles" are pretty much worthless in regards to why anyone would hate David Blaine. The plasticbag.org is mostly a discussion of dysfunctional British attitudes about fame with Blaine's name thrown in, and the other is (again with the British angle) just more of what people here are saying..."He's a pompous attention-whore". So, again, why? Seems to me taste and personal preference.

The interview is strange. But what does jetlag look like? Hang-over? Anna Nicole Syndrome? Kick-ass Dutch ecstasy? What time was the interview? Is the host of the show a known prick?

I'm not a huge fan of Blaine, but his performances are entertaining. Of course his tv shit is edited/staged. Duh.

I thought his water-ball thing was overblown, but pretty cool looking. Just more performance art, but did you see the skin on his hands and feet? Fucking crazy yuck.
posted by dozo at 3:29 PM on November 14, 2006


Derren Brown is the best around, and he does proper live shows.
posted by Arcaz Ino at 5:21 PM on November 14, 2006


What time was the interview?

Around 8.30am, IIRC.

Is the host of the show a known prick?

He's a daytime TV presenter. Is there a single one that isn't a known prick? But as daytime TV presenters go, he's one of the more innocuous.

Truth be told though, there is one very obvious prick on that clip, and it isn't the presenter.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:56 PM on November 14, 2006


I'm no huge fan of Blaine, but I don't get the hatred either.

"Attention whore" is a label that we could justifiably dump on nearly any politician, entertainer, or overachiever out there that we don't like, as well as most that we do.

Magic acts in general owe their success to high levels of theatrics that most people grow up and lose interest in. It's an easy target for ridicule, especially since there are so few really famous examples.

As for big public stunts, what is the alternative for endurance tests and dangerous stunts? If the pointt is to entertain or amaze, there are limited venues available. Put them on tv and everyone assumes it's all fake. Host it in a performance venue and only certain people can afford to go. In public spaces though, everybody gets to check it out if they want to and feel like they participated, and the accountability is automatically way higher.
posted by hermitosis at 8:38 AM on November 15, 2006


I'm no huge fan of Blaine, but I don't get the hatred either.

"Attention whore" is a label that we could justifiably dump on nearly any politician, entertainer, or overachiever out there that we don't like, as well as most that we do.

Magic acts in general owe their success to high levels of theatrics that most people grow up and lose interest in. It's an easy target for ridicule, especially since there are so few really famous examples.

As for big public stunts, what is the alternative for endurance tests and dangerous stunts? If the pointt is to entertain or amaze, there are limited venues available. Put them on tv and everyone assumes it's all fake. Host it in a performance venue and only certain people can afford to go. In public spaces though, everybody gets to check it out if they want to and feel like they participated, and the accountability is automatically way higher.
posted by hermitosis at 8:38 AM on November 15, 2006


I'm no huge fan of Blaine, but I didn't want him to come out of that box.
posted by tehloki at 11:00 PM on November 15, 2006


Well, dozo, clearly we don't agree the attitude described there to explain the Blaine hatred - specifically after the London box thing, that's what crystallised the hatred, not the smallest stuff - is dysfunctional (though in general the attitude to celebrities in the UK is schizoid, with all the paparazzis and tabloids), and it does explain it, it's not even exclusively a British thing and it's not just Blaine's name thrown in, it's that he does fit the target perfectly.

He acts like he thinks he's the Messiah, has no trace of humour about what he does, in fact goes overboard in the opposite direction, to a point where it becomes embarassing to watch - as in that interview, no jet lag can account for that behaviour, he's just creepy as hell, but not in a funny way. Completely unfunny. Like Michael Jackson at the Brit Awards, it's just begging to be ridiculed. You don't even have to try hard.

Yes of course it is about personal taste and preference, I'm just answering the question, I can see why you wouldn't like the answers if you like him, but that's exactly what it's about for those who can't stand him. You may be wondering why the hatred, I am still wondering how could anyone think the people who booed and threw stuff at him while he was hanging in that box were the ones with something wrong in their heads.

Sure it may be a silly waste of time to even bother reacting like that, but imagine passing by every day, seeing this man doing this totally pointless distasteful unentertaining charmless ridiculous thing, expecting everyone to go ooooh what a superhuman being, test of endurance, protection from death blah blah... what were people supposed to do, kneel and pray to him?
posted by pleeker at 1:49 AM on November 16, 2006


I consider myself newly informed.

But I'm sure I'm not alone in just thinking the guy a cheat and a stunt freak and not realizing that he was an asshole to boot. If that linked interview is any indication, I can understand why some go from active dislike to hate.
posted by dreamsign at 8:27 AM on November 16, 2006


I consider myself newly informed.

But I'm sure I'm not alone in just thinking the guy a cheat and a stunt freak and not realizing that he was an asshole to boot. If that linked interview is any indication, I can understand why some go from active dislike to hate.
posted by dreamsign at 8:27 AM on November 16, 2006


Well ok, not newly informed that second time. I had a moment for it to sink in.
posted by dreamsign at 8:28 AM on November 16, 2006


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