Comments on: Giant Amazonian Centipedes Need Love

Giant Amazonian Centipedes Need Love

jonson — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:09:39 -0800

Do not cuddle with the Giant Amazonian Centipede, no matter how strong the temptation may be. Fully grown they are as long as an adult human's forearm, and gleefully feed on small critters (youtube), going so far as to snag bats out of the air (google video) & devour them on the spot.

By: empath

empath — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:16:16 -0800

that's fucking terrifying. I'm entirely squicked out.

By: piratebowling

piratebowling — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:18:23 -0800

Thanks for the new nightmore material. *shudder*

By: Milkman Dan

Milkman Dan — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:18:46 -0800

I have NO incentive to cuddle with that centipede. My skin has officially turned inside out. Besides the "hundred legs" part, why is that even considered a centipede? Please, write to your local MP or Congressman and ask the government re-classify that bitch as a fucking Scorpion Alien Snake Robot Killer.

By: piratebowling

piratebowling — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:19:03 -0800

nightMARE rather. Ugh, I'm too creeped out to type correctly.

By: ninjew

ninjew — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:19:44 -0800

yowza. My apartment is occasionally visited by non-Godzilla-scale centipedes. I'm more scared now.

By: ZaphodB

ZaphodB — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:22:35 -0800

GOD I HATE INSECTS. Thanks for that. I'll be keeping a shovel handy for the rest of the night.

By: nola

nola — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:23:48 -0800

Sweet funtime suntime jesus, i'll never go the amazon again!

By: elwoodwiles

elwoodwiles — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:24:13 -0800

Hey, you haven't lived until you've seen a pack of giant amazonian centipede skeletonize a cow in under ten minutes.

By: davejay

davejay — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:26:13 -0800

That is the most awesome thing I've seen in ages. I want one as a pet. disclaimer: when spiders and crickets make their way into my house, I catch 'em and put 'em outside. Sympathetic to bugs am I.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:28:17 -0800

Tastes like chicken.

By: Flashman

Flashman — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:31:28 -0800

I made it to 43 seconds. That is too too horrible to allow into my consciousness. Be gone!

By: jtajta

jtajta — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:33:24 -0800

Great post. That clip on google video is from my main man David Attenborough's "Life of the Undergrowth." All of his stuff is amazing, but this one in particular is mind-blowing. Highly recommended.

By: sciurus

sciurus — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:36:30 -0800

Holy Shit That Is Awesome.

By: Foosnark

Foosnark — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:37:16 -0800

Centipedes bug me like nothing else does. I wouldn't come within fifty feet of one of those without a shotgun and a chainsaw. And appropriate eye and ear protection.

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:38:33 -0800

I was holding on to my lunch until I read "Tastes like chicken. posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson".

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:39:25 -0800

disclaimer: when spiders and crickets make their way into my house, I catch 'em and put 'em outside. Sympathetic to bugs am I. I do the same-- but when an insect big enough to catch a fucking bat crawls in the back door, I'm grabbing the shotgun.

By: Effigy2000

Effigy2000 — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:43:37 -0800

I was watching this and I was all like "Run Mr. Bat, run!" And then I realised bats fly. And what crazy madness must overtake me, let alone anyone else in the world, to desire to cuddle one of these things? Thanks for the 'advice', jonson. Excellent post, thankyou!

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:44:43 -0800

They don't so much crawl in the door, as kick it in. Repeatedly.

By: BackwardsHatClub

BackwardsHatClub — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:48:10 -0800

Here's a video from the youtube related links of one catching a tarantula: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f5gBFMMmGc Gross.

By: quin

quin — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:50:35 -0800

Oh my god, I can't wait till my wife stumbles across this thread. She is absolutely terrified by centipedes. This will make her head asplode. Awesome.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:58:43 -0800

Congradulations, jonson! The Old Ones are pleased with your post. Four more like that and you earn enough points to upgrade to the next prize level, where you may choose one of the following: A) An entire harem of the gender and/or tentacleage of your choice. B) Weird Uncle Aburd's Unexpurgated Dictionary of Penultimate Doom and Rather Mild Discomfiture - Vol 2 (Cr to Dj). Or C) A demonically possessed toaster with a rather embarrassingly diarrheatic case of Tourette's. Please just take this off my hands and bury it somewhere far, far away. When it swears at my bagels like that it somehow makes them way too chewy. And it keeps burning pornographic interpretations of biblical stories into the sourdough. That's just unappetizing, y'know? And just how in the blue hells is a plague of ravenous locusts supposed to be sexy?

By: jfuller

jfuller — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:58:48 -0800

> Tastes like chicken. Now you know that's not true. Much more likely they taste like lobster. (I do wonder if there's anyone any time in human history who would know that from personal experience.) > She is absolutely terrified by centipedes. This will make her head asplode. I totally sympathize. I am told (I have no conscious memory of this) that I got involved with a big sandworm in Florida when I was just a infink; them babies is quite large and they bite and though they are annelids they look very much like centipedes. Anyhow, true or not, somewhere I picked up an absolute horror of these critters. No way in Hell am I clicking on that link.

By: Quietgal

Quietgal — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:58:49 -0800

Pfft. This post is lame without video of someone cuddling a giant Amazonian centipede.

By: blacklite

blacklite — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:59:59 -0800

I am never going to click on that. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever.

By: jouke

jouke — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:01:01 -0800

So, then that part about the greate ape was true also?

By: The Power Nap

The Power Nap — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:01:13 -0800

I went to a reptile expo once and they had these things there. They would follow the movements of your hand through the terrarium, and the handlers said that they would attack without provocation. Why would you want to own one of these things? Even the people selling them didn't have an answer for me. Stupid jerk bugs.

By: Mwongozi

Mwongozi — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:01:19 -0800

Do not taunt Happy Fun Centipede™

By: scruss

scruss — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:02:55 -0800

so cute! (I always was a weird kid)

By: four panels

four panels — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:03:03 -0800

Looks like quite the penis tickler.

By: Dipsomaniac

Dipsomaniac — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:04:08 -0800

Did I miss anything? Just got back from beating the absolute LIVING HELL out of my bedclothes because that's where they hide, y'know.

By: jonson

jonson — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:05:34 -0800

the handlers said that they would attack without provocation And God help you if you insult their mothers...

By: snofoam

snofoam — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:05:43 -0800

but we need the giant centipedes. unless someone's figured out another way to make the black powder.

By: fleetmouse

fleetmouse — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:07:32 -0800

God damn man, that is horrific. unicorn chasers

By: imperium

imperium — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:08:54 -0800

I think if I took one of these home my cat might not forgive me. Nor my girlfriend, my flatmate, my neighbours, the environmental health department, the list goes on and on. And I used to want to be a bat. No more. Oh, and Attenborough is indeed a god-king, beloved by all from wasted clubbers to wizened grandmas, the only person I can think of who I'd trust to be President of Britain.

By: brain_drain

brain_drain — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:16:06 -0800

I'm not going near one of those things without a trackball.

By: quin

quin — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:17:32 -0800

Ooh ooh jonson, take the talkie toaster. It may have Tourette's, but if history is any indicator, it will save your life when a GELF boards you ship.

By: Sprocket

Sprocket — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:19:14 -0800

You can hear the spider flesh being torn and chewed in the video BackwardsHatClub linked to. And it made me ill.

By: elendil71

elendil71 — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:19:51 -0800

Coolest thing ever. I'd absolutely nail it to the floor if I ever saw one, but I rather suspect I'd give it a mouse once I calmed down... just to see it in action.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:22:53 -0800

Great, a vicious snake-like thing with a trillion legs that can move like lightning and drop on my head from above in the dark. That poor mouse was screaming. And Mwongozi's picture is creeeepy. I want someone from South America to represent here - are those things common? If so, that just makes my travel wish list a lot shorter. In fact, just to be safe, I may never go out again.

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:26:08 -0800

How do they make these videos?!

By: maryh

maryh — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:29:31 -0800

Intelligent design. Yeah. Right.

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:32:35 -0800

I had a giant vietnamese centipede for a while. The cashier I bought it from said that when they got loose she didn't even try to catch them, she just squished them. He even kinda scared me, just because he would race around his cage and try to climb up the glass. When my mantids hatch and grow up I'm for sure buying another centipede and feeding it the ones I don't like.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:35:27 -0800

This thread needs a Giant Carniverous Amazonian Centipede in my pants joke.

By: Alex404

Alex404 — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:35:40 -0800

AHHHHHHHHHHH

By: Anything

Anything — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:46:52 -0800

What is it like to be a bat DEVOURED BY AN INSECT DEATH-MONSTER? It is to be ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL for INSTA-DEATH VENOM!

By: cholly

cholly — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:49:38 -0800

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!

By: FelliniBlank

FelliniBlank — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:49:56 -0800

Well, that'll heebie your jeebies. I just don't want to see anything so large move in the wholly unnatural, creepy, rippling way that centipedes do. And fast. Now I shall go breathe into a bag.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:56:10 -0800

I've heard they're moving north to the US. Hiding in bricks of uncut cocaine. The moist sinus cavity being such a perfect nursery for their eggs.

By: 235w103

235w103 — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:59:06 -0800

OH GOD YOU HAVE TO KILL IT YOU HAVE TO KILL IT BEFORE IT BREEDS

By: hal9k

hal9k — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:59:12 -0800

Seriously, is it just me or did anyone else think "damn, that'd look good fermentin' in a bottle of whiskey!"

By: randomination

randomination — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:59:29 -0800

From the floor of the cave in the last clip, this post needs the batshitinsane tag. sorry

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:00:09 -0800

Awww, the wudgie wudgie cooo. He’s soo cute! *paging Dr. Benway*

By: Anything

Anything — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:02:08 -0800

I think I may now need to therapeutically drive a lawnmower onto a pile of these hideous things.

By: Salmonberry

Salmonberry — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:03:29 -0800

Somewhere in space there is a planet where these things are 80 feet long and they eat flying dinosaurs.

By: kliuless

kliuless — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:04:07 -0800

i was just thinking how cool it'd be if each segment could detach, attack independently and then, you know, reform.

By: quin

quin — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:05:02 -0800

madamjujujive : In fact, just to be safe, I may never go out again. And you think that will keep you safe? If just makes it harder for you to run when they come, in force, through your walls. Can't you just imagine a couple of hundred of these things charging at you across your living room floor? The peculiar noise of thousands of feet skittering across hardwood in a frantic effort to get to your bare legs. It's the kind of thing Clive Barker would have dreams about.

By: kliuless

kliuless — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:06:05 -0800

oh yeah, and that scene from peter jackson's king kong :P awesome!

By: Luddite

Luddite — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:09:23 -0800

*twitch*

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:13:07 -0800

Hmmm...y’know quin, you wanna get information outta someone... ...just a thought. Slice of life in Brazil: “Honey, there’s a bug in the bathtub” “Just kill it sweetie.” “No, honey, it’s a big bug” “Yeah, yeah, I’m watching the game” “It’s pretty big hon, can you come and kill it, please?” “Alright. Fine. *rolls up t.v. guide* Now where’s this OH MY GOD!” (heh heh, you and me snofoam, we gotta go to Tangier)

By: bigskyguy

bigskyguy — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:14:09 -0800

Good stuff. My in-laws are squigee about spiders, and have spider traps in various areas of their house. I was visiting last month and discovered a bull snake, probably about 18 inches long, which had gotten caught on the sticky surface and had coiled his entire body so as to basically touch the entire sticky surface, completely immobilized. Unfortunately, I was too late to save it. However, he succeeded in displacing spiders as the fear du jour in their household.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:14:58 -0800

Shhh! What was that? Did ya'll hear something?

By: The Great Big Mulp

The Great Big Mulp — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:17:12 -0800

First: That "Damn Interesting" site to which you, jonson, have linked is pretty interesting. Second: Jesus Fucking Christ the centipedes are going to eat me in my sleep!!!!!

By: FelliniBlank

FelliniBlank — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:20:26 -0800

On the upside, indelible images of detached centipede segments embedding their eggs in my moist, coke-damaged sinus cavities have now replaced the Night Gallery earwig episode on my list of things to ponder at 3 am.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:24:09 -0800

OH MY GOD THAT INSECT ATE A FUCKING BAT. jesus.

By: Anything

Anything — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:24:38 -0800

Ok, now which animal would you choose against this thing for some species vs. species action? I vote camel spider, so they can kill the shit out of each others' ugly existence.

By: Iron Rat

Iron Rat — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:30:01 -0800

Saw one about a foot long down in Topolobampo in Mexico back in the eighties. You learn to watch where you put your feet once you seen one of them puppies.

By: The Power Nap

The Power Nap — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:30:58 -0800

I had a giant vietnamese centipede for a while. Why!? I've never understood why anyone would want to own an animal that is convinced that you are delicious and will stop at nothing short of lethal blunt force trauma to get a bite. I like my pets to be happy to see me.

By: The Great Big Mulp

The Great Big Mulp — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:32:05 -0800

Anything: I'd pit this thing against the garden gnome. Centipedes and spiders are allies, man!

By: adipocere

adipocere — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:34:22 -0800

After one too many trips to Interzone, I'm wondering if these babies have any psychedelic properties.

By: Quietgal

Quietgal — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:35:58 -0800

Power Nap, if your pets think you're delicious, they are happy to see you.

By: absalom

absalom — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:36:18 -0800

Very glad I saw that *after* my nap. I will never sleep again.... or go back into a cave.

By: Anything

Anything — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:37:50 -0800

You learn to watch where you put your feet once you seen one of them puppies. Yeah, I know where I'd put mine. In hermetically sealed steel-fucking-boots.

By: Sparx

Sparx — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:37:58 -0800

This thread needs a Giant Carniverous Amazonian Centipede in my pants joke. Sorry, IRFH, I'm just pleased to see you. Wait a second - I'm not that pleased...AARRGH! which animal would you choose against this thing Giant Panda. I like pandas. Also...ARRRGH!

By: Anything

Anything — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:43:55 -0800

Yeah, I know where I'd put mine. In hermetically sealed steel-fucking-boots. Or an airplane to wherever-the-hell away. On second thought, no. I can see it already: SOMEONE GET THESE MOTHERFUCKING GIANT AMAZONIAN CENTIPEDES OFF THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!

By: Anything

Anything — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:52:44 -0800

.. which reminds me that snakes would probably be totally useless against these creatures. This centipede would just wrap its creepy legs all around the snake and insect-hug it to venomous death.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:56:21 -0800

This thread is useless without pictures. And videos. And nightmares.

By: ramix

ramix — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:58:04 -0800

Jonson I hate you. I really really hate you. Damn i hate you! I am now going to gouge my eyes out.

By: davejay

davejay — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 17:10:10 -0800

i was just thinking how cool it'd be if each segment could detach, attack independently and then, you know, reform. And that quickly, three hundred and nineteen would-be screenwriters in Los Angeles start working on their "great new idea."

By: quin

quin — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 17:15:11 -0800

You know what my favorite thing about centipedes is? They couldn't be creepier if they were designed in a horror workshop. Nocturnal: check Carnivorous: check Venomous: check Fast: check Agile: check Able to appear as tiny or giant: check Completely alien looking: check and then some. They are perfectly designed to freak people the fuck out. And that makes them cool.

By: flod

flod — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 17:15:52 -0800

East Maui is crawling with fairly large centipedes. Growing up, we always shook out our shoes before putting them on. Even worse, centipedes are really good at climbing walls, but not quite as good at hanging on to the ceiling. I've had several of them drop from above into bed with me at night. Then they bite you when you unwittingly roll over on them--like it's your fault.

By: Humanzee

Humanzee — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 17:25:18 -0800

Youtube won't be complete until someone puts together a massive deathmatch ladder tournament to see which creapy bug is the most ruthless killing machine. Evidently entrants have to qualify by horrificially devouring a mouse.

By: Serial Killer Slumber Party

Serial Killer Slumber Party — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 17:25:21 -0800

Is it so wrong that I want to get a bunch of theses guys, tie them end to end and create AN UNSTOPPABLE MONSTROSITY?

By: weston

weston — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 17:27:00 -0800

> Tastes like chicken....Now you know that's not true. Much more likely they taste like lobster. (I do wonder if there's anyone any time in human history who would know that from personal experience.) I have a friend who's eaten part of one of the merely 6-8" variety that occur in the Arizona deserts. He was a trailwalker/counselor for one of those wilderness youth programs. Apparently a few weeks out on the trail, you naturally just start thinking "can I eat that?" He said they taste like burnt rubber or an old bicycle tube.

By: UseyurBrain

UseyurBrain — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 18:12:33 -0800

"Can't you just imagine a couple of hundred of these things charging at you across your living room floor? The peculiar noise of thousands of feet skittering across hardwood in a frantic effort to get to your bare legs." AAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEE For the love of God, stopstopstopstopstop!!! I will never sleep again.

By: quin

quin — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 18:42:58 -0800

I will never sleep again. My work here is done.

By: Opposite George

Opposite George — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 18:47:02 -0800

Anybody know where I can borrow one of these for a couple of days? My condo has house centipedes and I think it would be totally fun to fuck with them.

By: carsonb

carsonb — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 18:47:41 -0800

Seriously, is it just me or did anyone else think "damn, that'd look good fermentin' in a bottle of whiskey!" yeah, about two comments up from yours. now that was creepy. to the Intelligent Design comments, I say that this is just further evidence for it. God made us vertical and big, and gave us knees, muscles, and heels designed to stomp the futhermucking juice outta these bugs.

By: Terminal Verbosity

Terminal Verbosity — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 19:35:56 -0800

"...with forty-six yellow-tinted legs." Centipede my ass. Poser.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 19:52:58 -0800

I was sitting at a table on an open bay Waiting for drink of rum When I asked my waiter for the time of day She said look out there's a centipede coming your way [Chorus:] In lahaina, the sugar cane grow In lahaina, the living is slow In lahaina, the mangos are sweet But the centipede he crawls all over your feet I was lying by the water in the morning Sunshaded by a coconut tree When I turned around it was all I could see There was great big centipede staring at me [Chorus] I had only just a second to decide what to do While looking at his poisonous fangs When I said I thought it was a beautiful day He said "Wow Mr Hall I think your pushing my leg." [Chorus] (Loggins/Messina)

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 20:11:41 -0800

My condo has house centipedes and I think it would be totally fun to fuck with them. "That's not a ~~knife~~ centipede. This is a ~~knife~~ centipede!"

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 20:14:48 -0800

I just clicked the Giant Amazon page whilst my wife was watching. Then I clicked its video link re: mousie. I made damn sure not to watch even one millisecond of it. She was fool enough to watch 20s. She's not going to sleep tonight. Tee hee. Foolish woman. Now to go find some BME pictures.

By: FunkyHelix

FunkyHelix — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 20:23:43 -0800

Just the description scares the hell out of me. I've been a mess all day after seeing the trailer for the live action Charlotte's Web on a big screen television. Nothing like a huge talking spider to make you pee yourself a little. Watching these videos would make my heart explode. But the comments are just gold. I've been laughing for like five minutes now.

By: forblaga

forblaga — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 20:38:39 -0800

Wow, who knew that this was to scale? (Uh, assuming that these actually exist somewhere.)

By: PenDevil

PenDevil — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:00:47 -0800

I say we nuke the entire Amazon from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

By: Liosliath

Liosliath — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:02:38 -0800

This is just like the kind that bit me in Morocco. Ow. It was about 10 inches long - I know because my husband caught it the next night when it crawled out from under our bed. He smashed its head with a candleholder, and it was a full 24 hours before it stopped moving. We even tried to drown it for a quicker death, but it just wouldn't die. Kind of fascinating. My hand puffed up, and stayed that way for about three days - it kind of hurt, itched, and burned all at the same time.

By: JParker

JParker — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:15:24 -0800

Great post, and great comments. I vote for the giant centipede vs. giant praying mantis in the final deathmatch round. Centipede - fast, poisonous, lots of legs, comes out mostly at night Praying mantis - flys, has good vision (compound eyes), death spines (ending in hooks) on the front legs

By: Opposite George

Opposite George — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:21:40 -0800

You forgot: Centipede - pwns bats Praying Mantis - pwns birds

By: Opposite George

Opposite George — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:23:03 -0800

Oh duh, I just saw your link. JParker - pwns OG

By: quin

quin — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:40:28 -0800

Hmm, mantis versus centipede. An interesting contest. I think ground rules are in order; since both come in such a wide variety of sizes, we need to limit it to both being roughly the same size. Let's say 6". The Contestants: Centipede is an active hunter. They track down their prey and kill it, whereas the mantis is an ambush predator, preferring it hide in plain sight looking like a stick. The mantis is not likely to hunt through flight, but may use it to escape. My prediction: the centipede would be racing around looking for food, the mantis would wait till it got close enough, spear it through the head and slowly eat it's face. Mantis' are bad ass like that. [Full disclosure, my mantis just died last week. She loved catching small fast moving things, and eating their faces.] ::sniff::

By: Goofyy

Goofyy — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:52:09 -0800

The photo on the first link looks like the centipede I found in my bathtub one night. The thing couldn't get out. I caught it and put it out the window. I didn't know at the time it was likely venemous, else I may have killed it. (I avoid killing anything other than cockroaches, ants and mosquitos. I'll ignore spiders as much as possible, accepting they're mostly on my side). Of course the one in the tub wasn't as big, but it wasn't as tiny as the American variety. I shot a poor quality video of it trying to climb up the side of the tub, kind of neat. Lots of motion without any traction. Even knowing they are venomous, I still find the whip scorpion more scary, as it looks like a spider with claws (and no sting). And to think my maid is scared of an innocent toad!

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:56:35 -0800

I wish I had a maid. A French Maid. She could squish the bad bugs for me.

By: Paragon

Paragon — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 22:25:54 -0800

Holy crap. In the vein of monster bugs, try the Giant Isopod.

By: quin

quin — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 22:41:57 -0800

A French Maid. She could squish the bad bugs for me. fff, is a MeFi bug thread the best place to be airing out your sexy fetishes? Not that I disagree or anything...

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 23:22:35 -0800

fff, is a MeFi bug thread the best place to be airing out your sexy fetishes? Yeah, and anyway, aren't MeFi bug threads supposed to be on MeTa?

By: Opposite George

Opposite George — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 23:23:44 -0800

Paragon, I may be wrong here, but it looks like it wants to be friends. [NSF anyone with creepy-crawly issues] On second thought, eew.

By: Liosliath

Liosliath — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 23:51:46 -0800

Thanks for the links, Paragon and OppositeGeorge, that's a lovely creature - and I mean it. A "pale lilac" shell and glistening silver eyes? How cool is that?

By: quin

quin — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 00:02:58 -0800

Nice catch Opposite George (no pun intended), I've kept some odd pets, but I never would have considered a freaky crustacean... Liosliath has it right, it has great Riddick-esq eyes. [The ellipses here indicate that the Wife has no less than 10 salt water tanks in our house and I have no idea if we already have several crustaceans like this prowling around within a stones throw of me right now. All I know is that the tanks are pretty, and expensive. ;]

By: juv3nal

juv3nal — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 03:00:13 -0800

That giant isopod is probably tasty. Just sayin'. On the subject of centipedes, Bill Burroughs FTW: Now what sort of man or woman or monster would stroke a centipede I have ever seen? "And here is my good big centipede!" If such a man exists, I say kill him without more ado. He is a traitor to the human race.

By: Kwine

Kwine — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 06:18:43 -0800

Does jonson ever make a post that isn't completely fucking awesome?

By: antifuse

antifuse — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 06:37:50 -0800

I swear I've seen that one where it eats the mouse here before. But maybe not. Scary as hell, at any rate.

By: kalimac

kalimac — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 07:24:55 -0800

Oh sweet Jesus. I am never, ever, ever clicking on those links. The thread was enough to make me vow never to leave my nice, safe, giant fucking centipede-less city. (Attenborough is the man, though)

By: darkripper

darkripper — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 08:53:03 -0800

How about a fight between a Giant Centipede and a Giant Enemy Crab? Quite a fight.

By: horseblind

horseblind — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 09:56:32 -0800

Jonson made my day. Yeah, I'm like that. I was proud to squick out a coworker. I wish it was her boyfriend here though as he can't sleep if he knows there's a bug in the kitchen. If he only knew these were in the world...

By: Skorgu

Skorgu — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 09:59:54 -0800

Bugs are awesome. Thank god for power laws, any bigger and those things would be a bit higher on the food chain methinks.

By: algreer

algreer — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 11:11:06 -0800

Cool post. Centipede eats bat! Biology is ace.

By: Earl the Polliwog

Earl the Polliwog — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 11:28:54 -0800

Chalk one more up for Google's ad targeting system...

By: 1f2frfbf

1f2frfbf — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 11:51:57 -0800

I know what I'm fixing for tomorrow's dinner... segments for everyone! What kind of stuffing should I use for it? I mean, my family is usually pretty picky about such things... *runs off laughing evilly*

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 12:09:07 -0800

Finally, everyone gets a leg!

By: mrhappysad

mrhappysad — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 13:42:47 -0800

I've had millipedes as pets for yeeears!! Tho they might resemble the centipede, they're completely different as far as their diet, etc. Gentle creatures they are. One time I knew a guy who found a giant centipede in the front porch. He captured it and shoved it in the garbage disposal and well, 'disposed' of it... It was a good eight incher! GROSS!

By: flabdablet

flabdablet — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 13:55:19 -0800

Hooly dooly! That bugger makes our local version look much less scary. Still stung like a bastard though.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 14:59:24 -0800

flabdablet, I had just finally managed to expunge that leech in the eye story from my waking consciousness and you had to go point me to it again. Curses!

By: Flashman

Flashman — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 16:09:45 -0800

Like a centipede that is hot Another classic centipede video: this one's from a Jackson sister, circa 1987

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 17:46:33 -0800

After thinking about it for the day, I believe I am correct in making the following assertion, regardless the title of this thread: Giant Amazonian Centipedes Do Not Need Love. Apologies to all you centipedes out there, but that's just how it is.

By: quin

quin — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 17:56:32 -0800

five fresh fish, You'll feel differently when one is curled up on your pillow waiting for you to come to bed. I'm sure it will be just like a cat who wants nothing more than to absorb your heat while you sleep. And by 'heat' I mean flesh, and by 'absorb', I mean devour, and by 'sleep', of course, I mean venom induced unconsciousness.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 20:47:23 -0800

I've more thoroughly researched the topic and discovered that what Giant Amazonian Centipedes Need is A Brick. Pow, zoom, Alice!

By: quin

quin — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 21:03:44 -0800

Not to be pedantic, but wouldn't that be 'Drop, splat, Alice!' or perhaps 'Drop, crunch, Alice!' (depending of course, on if it was one of the ones that had the harder exoskeleton)? I suppose you could just cover your bases with 'Drop, crunch-splat-eww-it-got-goo-on-my-shoe, Alice!'

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 21:57:10 -0800

I'd like to introduce those centipedes to Johnny Storm.

By: deborah

deborah — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 08:37:33 -0800

*whimper*

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 14:05:10 -0800

Oh, and just in case I made it seem like praying mantises are pussies: praying mantis eats hummingbird

By: Anything

Anything — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 17:22:25 -0800

MetaFilter: Vertebrates getting pwnz0red

By: Anything

Anything — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 17:26:21 -0800

In fact, I'd like to see a David Attenborough series on that theme.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Fri, 24 Nov 2006 08:56:25 -0800

I was surfing flickr and came upon this nightmare inducing specimen from Thailand - and if that doesn't squick you out enough, check out his whole Thailand - Khao Yai set for some other terrifying creatures.