Talking Turkey

November 22, 2006 5:09 AM

Talking TurkeyThanksgiving for those in the $1.5 billion turkey business is as insane as Black Friday for retailers and Christmas for ministers. Ever wonder what a day in the life of getting your favorite bird is like? By the way, your average run-of-the-mill Butterball ain't the only game in town anymore. Do you prefer free-range or antibiotic-free turkey? Fine. How about the Heritage Turkey: a behemoth that boasts the ability to actually fly, looks like a B-1 Bomber on the wing, and has darker, more succulent gourmet meat. It never hurts to have any pictures, either. Happy Thanksgiving!
posted by PreacherTom (26 comments total)

Is "Heritage" just a fancy word for wild but raised in captivity?
posted by Pollomacho at 5:19 AM on November 22, 2006

Here's an interesting post about the harvesting of a turkey on a small poultry farm (contains images of killing a turkey, obviously).
posted by jack_mo at 5:46 AM on November 22, 2006

Er, which I now see has been posted directly below on the front page. Bloody RSS.
posted by jack_mo at 5:47 AM on November 22, 2006

"heritage" is the equivalent of the word "heirloom" as used to describe vegetables. It refers to a commercially-unfavored strain that may be closer to "wild type," or just more flavorful and traditionally favored for that reason.
posted by rxrfrx at 6:07 AM on November 22, 2006

I'd like a turkey raised on the flesh of CEOs. With antibiotics, please.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:02 AM on November 22, 2006

My first post to the blue three years ago was about heritage turkeys. I bought a fancy heritage turkey, cooked it up, and it was dry and chewy. Good flavour though. This year we're cooking a 4kg turkey in France. I'm hoping it tastes more like game and less like mushy chicken.
posted by Nelson at 7:29 AM on November 22, 2006

U.S. turkey production plunges
posted by caddis at 7:48 AM on November 22, 2006

Kirth, don't forget that said turkey is raised on the flesh of CEO's *and* the blood of televangelists.

I'd buy one of those.
posted by PreacherTom at 8:07 AM on November 22, 2006

One? I'd buy a whole flock if I could get a regular supply of feed.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:17 AM on November 22, 2006

I'll draw up the business plan.
posted by PreacherTom at 8:38 AM on November 22, 2006

Just be careful if you plan to deep fry any of those big bad boys.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:25 AM on November 22, 2006

Yeah, the televangelists do splash around a lot when you drop 'em in, and I'd hate to see any of you get grease burns.
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:00 AM on November 22, 2006

And of course, dont forget the Tofurkey...

Ok, even as a veghead that is just so very wrong.... *shudder*
posted by elendil71 at 11:19 AM on November 22, 2006

Look, buddy, you want to talk about the Turducken in my thread, that's fine. Anything with that much meat in it (and covered in bacon, no less) is all good.

But, you mentioned tofu.

You're testing the oil for the televangelists.
posted by PreacherTom at 11:26 AM on November 22, 2006

Oh, hey Tom - I wasn't planning to actually eat my CEO-fed turkeys. Not only are they serving a more noble purpose while alive, but I am not all that confident in the antibiotics.

you know what they call a male adult turkey? That's right - Adolf.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:07 PM on November 22, 2006

*runs and hides behind the impermeable barrier of Vegetarian Smugness (tm).. and nibbles a carrot*

Sorry, but no T-Day thread is complete without a brief mention of the silliness that is the Tofurkey. There will be no more mention of the aforementioned 4-letter word.

Happy tryptophan food-coma to all.
posted by elendil71 at 12:08 PM on November 22, 2006

It is my firm belief that turducken and tofurkey are particle and antiparticle, and that each November there is a very real danger that somewhere in America the two will meet, resulting in either mutual delicious annihilation or, worse, a tofurducken singularity.
posted by darksasami at 12:39 PM on November 22, 2006

or worse, a tofurducken singularity.

I'm just guessin' here, but I'm fairly certain that the preparation of a Tofurkey and a Turducken in the same house has never happened - hence the earth not recently being sucked into a black hole.

I'd love to hear a tale of such a successful pairing, however. Could it be that the chestnut stuffing contained enough Dark Matter to repel the particles? Was it the slippery matter of the coleslaw? These things may never be known.
posted by elendil71 at 12:50 PM on November 22, 2006

Oh, elendil. Don't you know the true powers of gravy?
posted by PreacherTom at 1:15 PM on November 22, 2006

Don't you know the true powers of gravy?

Hehe, hadn't thought about that. Gravy as Dark Matter.. hmmmm.

Totally askew, for those other vegheads out there, this is a crazy gravy recipe. Beyond all reason, it really does taste like turkey. The associated recipe is equally crowd-pleasing.

And no tofu...... sorry, I said I wouldn't curse...
posted by elendil71 at 1:33 PM on November 22, 2006

I'm cooking a tofurkey along with the turkey this year for the veggie family members, does anyone know if I have to actually put it in the oven and heat it or can I just leave it on the counter and scream profanity at every once in a while?
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:35 PM on November 22, 2006

Sorry, try this for the associated recipe. Too bad it doesnt have a picture, 'cuz this looks so very cool when its made.

Anyway, sorry for the derail.
posted by elendil71 at 1:36 PM on November 22, 2006

Try above recipe Divine. Tofurkey is a joke, believe me.
posted by elendil71 at 1:41 PM on November 22, 2006

I brought and prepared a tofurkey for a vegetarian friend of mine while at her parents house for thanksgiving. Futhermore, I had both forms of *urkey on my plate at the same time. They still talk about this, nigh on ten years later.

Curiously, the dogs were unanimous in their preference for tofurkey over the real deal. I have no explaination for this.
posted by stet at 3:07 PM on November 22, 2006

But can you safely deep-fry a tofurkey?
posted by RelentlesslyOptimistic at 7:35 AM on November 23, 2006

Turkeys Are Our Friends
posted by homunculus at 8:11 PM on November 24, 2006