Here they come to snuff the peacock | Yeah here come the peacock

November 24, 2006 8:58 PM

The Peacock : "We Challenge you to find a more Beautiful, Enlightening, and Inspiring Website on the Internet!! Please CLICK your Mouse HERE!"
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken (58 comments total)

our 98% Rock Houses, which are Fireproof (because Rocks do not easily Burn)

A true genius.
posted by IronLizard at 9:04 PM on November 24, 2006

There has been a woeful lack of the ol' batshitinsane tag of late.
posted by quite unimportant at 9:10 PM on November 24, 2006

uh...look out elizabeth smart?
posted by punkbitch at 9:15 PM on November 24, 2006

Another Data Point for Capitalization Syndrome.
Another Specimen for my "Y-Files" Drawer.
"Yay" and "Huzzah."
posted by zoinks at 9:18 PM on November 24, 2006

BEST of the graphomaniac WEB!
posted by moonbird at 9:21 PM on November 24, 2006

WHO is The ANTI-CHRIST??
posted by Kwantsar at 9:21 PM on November 24, 2006

This and TIMECUBE make me feel like there's a level of existence I am just missing out on.
posted by piratebowling at 9:24 PM on November 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

"I have Authority from God to Write his Words of Truth, for which I am Blest with all Kinds of True Riches, while you are Cursed for your Foolishness."

Oh. Dear.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:27 PM on November 24, 2006

MeFi Kitsch becomes so tedious
posted by caddis at 9:32 PM on November 24, 2006

"Indeed, I Offer a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD to anyone on this little Blue/Green/Black/Gray/Pink/Red/Yellow/Brown/White Earth, who can Prove my Inspired Words of Provable Truth to be Wrong or Unworkable"

If his words weren't true, he'd be crazy to put up this type of guarantee.
posted by Kibbutz at 9:32 PM on November 24, 2006

Metafilter: The Divided States of United Lies!
posted by lalochezia at 9:44 PM on November 24, 2006

don't drink soap! dilute! dilute!
posted by sergeant sandwich at 9:44 PM on November 24, 2006

say what you will, but that is one hell of a bed & breakfast.
posted by facetious at 9:47 PM on November 24, 2006

Melek Taus is not amused.
posted by homunculus at 9:50 PM on November 24, 2006

WHO is The ANTI-CHRIST??

I'm not downloading that shit, so tell us who it is. WHO THE FUCK IS THE DEVIL???? (Ummm besides me.)
posted by IronLizard at 9:53 PM on November 24, 2006

SwangkeeAntKillingMachine.
it Requires a Brave Person just to Enter into such a Garden, which is Infested with Fire Ants: because they can Attack with a Vengeance that is Unbelievable. For Example, you can be Picking some Cucumbers, and before you Realize what is Happening, those Fire Ants can be all over your Legs. Moreover, once you Manage to Kill just one of them, they Sound their “Alarm,” and then they all Attack at once: because they perceive that something is Trying to Kill them. Therefore, it is a Perplexing Situation that calls for Political Stratagem, Negotiations, Peace Talks, and Concessions for certain Territories, which might Appease them for 2 or 3 Seconds; and then, behold, your Ass is on FIRE: because the Scrotum, which Houses your Testicles is the Chief Field of their Attack: because they LOVE Sweat, which is their Favorite Drink, whether it is Hot or Cold. In Fact, if you hang up your Sweaty Clothes in a Closet, those little Bitches will Invade your Clothing during the Night,
posted by hortense at 10:20 PM on November 24, 2006

Bark bark.
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 10:30 PM on November 24, 2006

"We Challenge you to find a more Beautiful, Enlightening, and Inspiring Website on the Internet!!"

I accept your challenge. Here.
posted by wendell at 10:38 PM on November 24, 2006

Oh, wendell, you silly! I was going to suggest that we all chip in and buy the Peacock a MeFi membership, but now I am leaning toward zombo.com instead.
posted by Cranberry at 10:59 PM on November 24, 2006

The link to "Does God Hate Astronauts?" is broken - I'll never know the answer.
posted by meech at 11:03 PM on November 24, 2006

Damn, that site reads like a cross between a Dr. Bronner's bottle and any dozen wackjobs who think thuh gubmints comin' fer 'im!!!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWAHHH!!!
posted by orbis23 at 11:05 PM on November 24, 2006

This Photo shows the Wuerzburg Castle in Southern Germany, which was built during the 1400’s. This Photo was taken in 1967 by the Author. Notice the Flags on the Barges. This Photo is not as Good as another Photo, which has been Lost, which had many Flags on several Barges, as well as a Man pushing a Baby Cart on the Sidewalk at the Bottom of the Photo. However, many of my Friends in Battery D, of Emery Barracks, in Wuerzburg, got Copies of that Photo from me for Souvenirs. I Trust that one of them will Discover this Website, and send a Copy of that Photo to me, in Order for it to Appear on this Website during the Future: because it was far Better than any Postcard that was for Sale. Indeed, it was a Rare Day at Sunrise when I took that Photo. Moreover, I have a Special Blessing for the Brother who presents a Copy of that Photo. (You can Remember me by Remembering the Sayings and Poems that I used to Post on my Door about Captain Double-edge, Colonel Feet, and Military Nonsense.)

I'm sure his old army buddies will never forget him.
posted by pracowity at 11:53 PM on November 24, 2006

At first I thought this was another Timecube-style loonfest, but that house! Shingle-proof, insurance-proof, mouse-proof... Sounds fantastic! Tell me about the bathroom!
Please notice that this Shower has lots of Space for a Person to move around in the Shower without bumping against the Walls: because it is Spacious and Comfortable, being 4 feet wide and 8 feet long, being a SWANGKEE Shower, which Means FIRST CLASS QUALITY!
That's it! I'm sold!
Moreover, notice the Stainless Steel Hook that is overhead, which can be used in an Emergency with a Shower Bucket, which has a Valve on a Pipe that is Attached to the Bottom of the Bucket, just in case the ElecTRICKERY is Cut Off for some Mysterious Reason
Ah... yes, that's... a consideration...
Notice that there is also a Mirror at the left side of this Photo, which Mirror is used for checking yourself out for Ticks, which like to take up light Housekeeping in the Hairy Crack of your Trailer Hitch, you might say, while Sucking on your Blood for Lunch, which could prove to be rather Em-BARE-assing, if you had to ask your Mother for some Help in Order to get the Tick Extracted with a Hot Rod, or a Match Head...
I'll see myself out, thanks, ta!

That's the last time I use Cathy at the Thunderdome RE/MAX.
posted by maryh at 12:46 AM on November 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

OTOH, you could liven the place up with some of these. Just so's you have a comfy spot to recuperate after the fire ant attack.
posted by maryh at 12:59 AM on November 25, 2006

A kinder, gentler lunatic! I would like to subscribe to his newsletter.
posted by jam_pony at 1:53 AM on November 25, 2006

Say goodnight to Jimmy, the bartender, get in my car, go home. Re-awaken the computer, go to Metafilter, find out who is the Anti-Christ. What a resource.
posted by toma at 2:24 AM on November 25, 2006

"This Website contains more than a thousand Free Photographs, each of which will fill up your Computer Screen with Beauty and Encouragement"

I'm not so sure I like that. My computer does all kinds of bad things like downloading pr0n without any external encouragement.
posted by evilgenius at 2:55 AM on November 25, 2006

NBC is calling its lawyers.
posted by evilcolonel at 3:30 AM on November 25, 2006

It Cost $10,000 or more; but, it is Good for Centuries to come, except for that Rubber, which may have to be Replaced every 30 to 50 Years, Depending on the Acid Rains, Sunlight, etc.

And when it needs to be replaced, it's conveniently under fifty tons of fucking rock...

I wonder who's funding this guy.
posted by stackmonster at 5:33 AM on November 25, 2006

<sneezes into hand. Ted Kaczynski with a 6-foot-thick roof.</sneeze into hand.
posted by orchidthief at 6:01 AM on November 25, 2006

That house rocks.
posted by lovecrafty at 6:04 AM on November 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

homonculus: I'm glad someone else remembers the Yezidi. I wonder how many are left by now.
posted by scalefree at 6:13 AM on November 25, 2006

I find it hard to believe that 'the peacock' had never before been on The Blue. I look forward to comments here in the blue on his 'expanded bible'.

Back 5 years ago, the whole site was 57 megs to download. I have no idea what the size would be today.

But before you totally dismiss him as one robe short of a toga party....
His comments on rock dust based gardening has support from the remineralize the earth people/movement. The use of slabs of rock as 'mulch' is also a fine weed-reducing plan, and the black rocks would work well with 'tropical' plants. Like Luffas.

Whatever anyone does, don't point The Peacock to something like http://www.communitycurrency.org/
posted by rough ashlar at 6:19 AM on November 25, 2006

A Nation of PROSTITUTES! (SFW). Hey, I think that's your house right over there.
posted by crispynubbins at 6:26 AM on November 25, 2006

stackmonster writes "I wonder who's funding this guy."

That's my question. That is a metric assload of granite and marble in there.. how the hell is someone with this tenuous a grasp on reality affording it all, and where do I sign up?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:27 AM on November 25, 2006

That is a metric assload of granite and marble in there

Back some years ago when I read his site, he made mention of how it was 'done for some rich dude who didn't pick up the stone, so he got it for cheap' like 10 cents on the dollar or some such.

His cash flow looks to be from selling veggies at farmers markets and he looks like he's running some kind of religious commune. So he has access to the occational manual laborer at a discount. "Robe man"'s berry growing plan interested the SO...his numbers seem to work out. A number for income from organic farming per acre can be as high as $100,000.
posted by rough ashlar at 6:49 AM on November 25, 2006

Well Who among Us can Argue with this Idea?

A Hot Needle will also Work, if you Inject it up the Rectum of that Tick, which will Require some Help, and a Magnifying Glass, which Reminds me of the Swangkee Skewer Treatment for Politicians of both Parties of Dimwitcrats and Reprobates in Washington, DisTRICKT of Colombian Drug Addicts. Indeed, you must go out into the Forest, and find the Tallest, Largest, and Straightest Tree for a Last Sacrifice; and you bring it to Washington by Means of Donkey Power, which will Require about one Year on Back Roads: because it will be Illegal to pull it along FREE Freeways; but, it will also give that Tree some Time to CURE somewhat, which Tree you will later SOAK in Used Motor Oil for a Month, after all of the Bark has been Removed; and then you must Sharpen up the Small End of that Tree in Order to make a Swangkee Skewer, which you can run up the Double-speak Orifices of those Gassy Politicians, who say that $wangkee Wages would cause Great Inflation of our Money
posted by madamjujujive at 6:56 AM on November 25, 2006

I opened the "Who is the Devil?" word document and I shit you not There is A Single ParaGraph Written in BOLD ITALICS That Spans 11 Pages oF Gl0ry!!.
posted by furtive at 7:03 AM on November 25, 2006

<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 6.0">!!!!!!!!!
posted by beerbajay at 7:03 AM on November 25, 2006

don't drink soap! dilute! dilute! posted by sergeant sandwich.

I was just about to mention how this page reminded me of reading a Dr. Braunner's bottle on my first backpacking trip in the Sierras back when I was 10.

Except there's not as much room on a soap bottle as there is on the internet, apparently.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:14 AM on November 25, 2006

I do like his agate windows, though.
posted by DenOfSizer at 7:43 AM on November 25, 2006

RIP Layne Staley; may he live on in title bars forever.
posted by Kwine at 8:33 AM on November 25, 2006

His pictures of the Carlsbad Caverns are quite nice.
posted by Vindaloo at 9:01 AM on November 25, 2006

Okay Terry Pratchett, I know it's you.
posted by NickDouglas at 10:19 AM on November 25, 2006

Wow. Wow. (And I love the agate windows, too.)

... most People would Object to having the Toilet in the Kitchen: because their Waste Matter STINKS; but, that of the Colorful Peacock smells like Sweet Fruits, Butternut Squash, mashed Potatoes, and whatever he Eats: because, if you do not Eat much Rotting Flesh for 20 Years, your Bowels will not smell like it; but, if you Eat a LOT of Flesh, which is Guaranteed to ROT and PUTREFY within your Bowels, your Dung will most certainly STINK; and therefore, you should put your Toilet somewhere BEHIND the House in the Briar Patch, where no one can Sneak up to it, or Accidentally open the Backhouse Door, and get Blasted Away with Stink Bombs! Moreover, you should also run that Dung into a Methane Digester, in Order to make Gas for Operating your Gas Cook Stove: because it is Powerful Stuff, and Especially after you Eat a Dead Skunk, or even a Dead Fish that has already begun to Rot within the GROSS Grocery Store, which Stinks to all People who have Clean Nostrils, and Especially after Fasting and Eating Fresh Fruits for a few Days after the Fast. (See: RULES for FASTING before you Try Fasting.) Nevertheless, this is not to say that it is WRONG to Eat Flesh: because there is a Time and Reason for doing all Things, including Cannibalism, if you are inclined to Believe that God Created ALL Things for Food; and, if you are Unaware of the Fact that you can Fast, or STOP Eating, for as much as 40 Days without Suffering any Loss of your Mental Faculties. That is, unless you are a Politician, in which Case you had better be Prepared with a LARGE Underground Bunker full of Dried Cow's Puss, commonly called CHEESE; and some Dried Eggs, Dried Potatoes, and some Rancid Butter, which is a Delicacy to a Starving Political Rabbit, who would VOMIT upon the first Thought of having to EAT such Morbid Stuff, much less Feast on it for 3 Years and 6 Months! (Remember that all such Foods were Sent to Africa, in Order to Assist the Poor Hungry Souls over there, who were Forced to Eat it: because there was nothing else to Eat! See my 32-page Booklet, called: What will you Do when the Rain STOPS??)
posted by jokeefe at 11:00 AM on November 25, 2006

An article on ray's place from a 1995 ish of the Mother Earth News.


It also appears that Ray posts to Yahoo Answers, although this particular answer seems to have been modded out.
posted by mwhybark at 11:56 AM on November 25, 2006

This Photo shows Earnest Pierson, who is now Dead. He Died with Testicular Cancer: because he Sincerely Believed that it was a Sin to Masturbate himself; and therefore, his Testicles SWELLED UP until they were as big as a Man’s Fist, which is called “Blue Balls,” in the Underworld. However, no matter what we Tried to tell him, he would still not Masturbate himself, and thereby Relieve himself of that Problem: because he was a very Stubborn Religious Person, even though, in our Opinion, he was Dead Wrong. Nevertheless, there are no doubt many other People who have the same Philosophy, who are headed for the same Disastrous End: because they Misinterpret what they read [reed] in the Bible, which is very Vague about this Subject. In Fact, the Bible does not even mention Masturbation, at all: because it was Understood to be a Natural Thing. Indeed, Moses himself said, “if any Man’s Seed passes from him, he shall be Unclean until the Evening; and he shall Wash his Clothes with Clean Water, and not come into the Tabernacle of the Congregation for 7 Days.” Therefore, even Moses Knew that it was going to Happen one way or the other, whether by a Wet Dream, or by Masturbation....Therefore, someone like Earnest would have been better off to Masturbate himself, and not Suffer with the Blue Balls –– which was very Painful –– than to Die for a False Belief.
posted by eegphalanges at 1:46 PM on November 25, 2006

Please Notice the Onyx Vase above the Homemade Screen Door, which no Thief is apt to Steal.

Amen, brother.
posted by gompa at 3:14 PM on November 25, 2006

This one is much lovelier.
posted by fish tick at 4:37 PM on November 25, 2006

Marbleous. Oh, I love me a good pun.

Bookmarked.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:55 PM on November 25, 2006

You know, I like this guy.
posted by blacklite at 8:29 PM on November 25, 2006

This site is hilarious! They are clearly expecting and preparing to be the next Waco, Texas. Check out these gems:

"This Photo shows a Swangkee Flowerbed, which uses ROUGH Rocks for Mulch. There are more than 30 Good Reasons and Great Advantages for using such Mulching Rocks in a Garden, even if that Garden is not 100% Weedless. However, later on I will show to you such a Garden, which uses Profitable $wangkee Mulching Rocks! Therefore, do not think that I am Trying to Deceive you: because I am not. However, if you had a Tendency to Think like Vern’s X-wife, you might Think that I am Trying to Deceive you; and therefore, you might draw up the Wrong Conclusions, and even Divorce yourself from this Website: because you are Judging the Subject before you have Learned ALL of the Evidence! Therefore, have Faith and Trust, until you can Prove me to be Right or Wrong."

"This Photo shows Vern and Ofelia (Mauricio’s Wife) pouring Concrete into a Block, after it was brought there by Means of a Swangkee Ramp. Notice that the Wall is already 6 feet tall; but, it Required 2 Months of HARD LABOR in order to get it up to this Point. Most Americans would not be Willing to do such Heavy Work, even if their Lives Depended on it: because they are too Fat and Lazy. However, when the Rain STOPS for 3 Years and 6 Months, as it states in Revelation 11, they will all be WISHING that they had a Good Water Supply, instead of an Old Rusty Car with an Empty Gas Tank!"
posted by Dougoh at 11:45 PM on November 25, 2006

Notice that he is wearing a Robe, which has more than 77 Advantages! For Example, a Robe has no Zipper, and therefore you cannot Forget to zip up your Pants!

I suppose with everything else he's got on his mind....
posted by squasha at 12:06 AM on November 26, 2006

if i met this guy, would he talk like this? whew. my head hurts.
posted by altman at 2:12 AM on November 26, 2006

Note to self: Length of beard [is directly proportional to] Crazy.
posted by tehloki at 2:54 AM on November 26, 2006

You know, I like this guy.

Me too. Thus the absence of the batshitinsane tag, possibly apropos as it may be.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:24 AM on November 26, 2006

OK, I found a more beautiful, enlightening and inspiring website.

Where do I click for my free box of tick-tacks?
posted by Twang at 8:06 PM on November 26, 2006

i like timecube better
posted by stilgar at 8:34 PM on November 27, 2006