New Citzenship Test

November 30, 2006 10:34 AM

Name one important idea found in the Declaration of Independence. The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services unveiled a new test for citizenship today, aimed at fostering a greater understanding of the meaning of America's institutions. Some consider the questions too difficult for poorer immigrants. As a spokesman for USCIS said, 'Our goal is not to make this test harder or easier for anyone, but to make it much more meaningful." Of course, USCIS is a division of the Dept. of Homeland Security who could stand to take a look at question #8 an give it some serious thought.
posted by cal71 (28 comments total)

I wonder how many natural born U.S. citizens would pass this test. If everybody of voting age had this much knowledge about the democratic process in this country, perhaps it would be harder for the government to get away with evil things due to voter apathy.
posted by rhiannon at 11:09 AM on November 30, 2006

This isn't that bad. When I became a citizen back in 1991 they asked me three questions:

1. Who was the first president?

2. How many stripes are on the US flag?

3. What was the cause of the Civil War?

When I answered the third by initially citing the move to an industrial economy in the north and the growth of 'plantation' style agri-business in the south causing friction between the needs of the citizens and the economies in different parts of the country the INS lady looked at me, rolled her eyes and asked for a one word answer.

I said slavery and Bob's your uncle, I was in!
posted by DragonBoy at 11:26 AM on November 30, 2006 [2 favorites]

DragonBoy is Apu Nahasapeemapetilon?

I hadn't heard about this, so thank you, cal71. This is something to keep a close eye on. Unfortunately, I see that Baltimore isn't one of the USCIS offices that will be testing the new questions, so my boss won't get to see it first-hand. Then again, that office is so screwed up that it may be for the best to not try out anything new there.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:31 AM on November 30, 2006

I dunno, seems pretty basic. Compare it to the Canadian Citizenship test - as usual in the situations, I wager I can answer more of the US questions than an American can answer from the Canadian test.

(Yeah, ok, that's the study guide and the actual questions are probably a lot simpler)

Anyway, every year Canada welcomes about 150,000 new citizens versus more than 537,000 new US citizens (in 2005). Not really a very impressive record for a country ten times our size. On the flip side, you Americans are still the baby-makin' machines you've always been, so no net loss for you.
posted by GuyZero at 12:12 PM on November 30, 2006

108. Name the U.S. war between the North and the South.
A: The Civil War.

I bet at the Charleston office they would also accept The War of Northern Aggression.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 12:25 PM on November 30, 2006

This is the same CIS that lost 111,000 files necessary for evaluating citizenship applications, but processed "as many as 30,000" of those applications anyway.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:36 PM on November 30, 2006

/derail

Wouldn't that third word rightly have been "secession"?

I thought the cause of the Civil War was the secession of South Carolina and a bunch of other states, followed by the bombardment of Fort Sumter? I mean, yeah, slavery figures into the background of it, but without secession and armed revolt against a Federal installation, you don't really have much of a Civil War, do you?
posted by pax digita at 12:48 PM on November 30, 2006

Oh gof, we're not going to have this argument for the umpteenth time, are we?

The Southern states seceded because of slavery, and in fact had been threatening it for about forty years. Specifically, there was significant antislavery sentiment in the North. Not abolitionist sentiment, mind; even in the North, abolitionists were considered radicals. Most Northerners believed in a policy of containment; i.e., that if slavery was not allowed to be expanded outside the states it was already in, it would eventually die off. Several court decisions in the 1850s left the door open for slavery to move into the Western territories, and even conceivably into the North itself.

Lincoln's election touched off the secession of several states, because although he was a moderate on the slavery issue, he was painted in the South as a radical "Black Republican".

You're technically right that slavery was not the direct cause of the Civil War (the seizure of several federal forts, culminating in the attack on Fort Sumter, is what ultimately did that), but it's extremely disingenious to pretend that slavery was not a major factor in the events leading up to it.
posted by Target Practice at 1:16 PM on November 30, 2006

"Of course, USCIS is a division of the Dept. of Homeland Security who could stand to take a look at question #8 an give it some serious thought."

Oho, ZING. It took great bravery to post that on this site of all places.

I happen to think that along with vehicle license retesting, individuals should be retested for citizenship periodically, and those who fail should be deported. Go find some country where you aren't burdened with a need to participate in your own governance.
posted by Eideteker at 1:35 PM on November 30, 2006

I happen to think that along with vehicle license retesting, individuals should be retested for citizenship periodically, and those who fail should be deported. Go find some country where you aren't burdened with a need to participate in your own governance.


Is that you Heinlein?
posted by srboisvert at 2:01 PM on November 30, 2006 [1 favorite]

I got #2 wrong, I said The President. Someone should give this test to W.
posted by JJ86 at 2:34 PM on November 30, 2006

Not really a very impressive record for a country ten times our size.

Actually, it's just that Canada is accepting immigrants at a massive rate.

it's extremely disingenious to pretend that slavery was not a major factor in the events leading up to it.

It's also disingenuous to claim that it was the major factor. It may have been the tipping point, but it wasn't the main cause.
posted by oaf at 2:47 PM on November 30, 2006

The Civil War was caused by two armies fighting each other. If no armies had fought, or, indeed, if only one army had fought, there would have been no war.
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:07 PM on November 30, 2006 [1 favorite]

Most of us would never pass that test, but then, we don't have to. I think a little effort is good--i certainly would study for citizenship elsewhere.
posted by amberglow at 3:10 PM on November 30, 2006

It's also disingenuous to claim that it was the major factor. It may have been the tipping point, but it wasn't the main cause.

No, no it's not.
posted by bshort at 3:12 PM on November 30, 2006

GuyZero, that's a hard one, but i bet most Canadians couldn't pass it either, no?
posted by amberglow at 3:13 PM on November 30, 2006

"Is that you, Heinlein?"

No, but if I recall correctly, we're from the same city.
posted by Eideteker at 3:23 PM on November 30, 2006

That's interesting. The UK equivalent is called the Life in the UK Test, and has questions like:

Do many children live in single parent families or step-families? When do children leave home?

What are the minimum ages for buying alcohol and tobacco? What drugs are illegal?

Where are Geordie, Cockney and Scouse dialects spoken?

How do elections for the House of Commons work? How are candidates selected? What do the Speaker and Whips do?

What is proportional representation and where is it used?

Who can stand for public office? How do you contact an elected representative?

(Depending on who you are, you might have to do combined English language and citizenship classes at college as well as/instead of the test before you can become a naturalised citizen.)
posted by jack_mo at 3:23 PM on November 30, 2006

USCIS is a division of the Dept. of Homeland Security who could stand to take a look at question #8 an give it some serious thought.

Ok, Ok I'll take the bait on this troll. Why should the DHS take a closer look at question 8? Why? Perhaps the poster should take a fucking look at what the DHS actually does as opposed to what his/her tin-foil hat club accuses it of doing.

The DHS is not the Department of Justice. The DHS is not the CIA. The DHS is not the NSA.

Are you really afraid that agents from the Small Plumb Island Animal Disease Research Center may come kick your door in or that FEMA is wiretapping you? If you are, you may want to post an AskMe question regarding finding a good mental health facility in your area.

Bloated and inefficient? Sure, perhaps, what government department isn't, really? Sinister? No, way.

if only one army had fought

Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself...
posted by Pollomacho at 5:13 PM on November 30, 2006

Sorry, Plumb Island, not Small Plumb island. Small Plumb is where they keep the political prisoners and internet weblog offenders, oh no, I've said too much...
posted by Pollomacho at 5:15 PM on November 30, 2006

I happen to think that along with vehicle license retesting, individuals should be retested for citizenship periodically, and those who fail should be deported. Go find some country where you aren't burdened with a need to participate in your own governance.

I, on the other hand, am more than happy to have the disinterested stay home, watch their teevees and pay taxes without making an effort to understand or participate in The Process. That way they don't monkey things up for us big boys who care enough to participate.
posted by phearlez at 9:47 PM on November 30, 2006

DragonBoy : "When I answered the third by initially citing the move to an industrial economy in the north and the growth of 'plantation' style agri-business in the south causing friction between the needs of the citizens and the economies in different parts of the country the INS lady looked at me, rolled her eyes and asked for a one word answer.

I said slavery and Bob's your uncle, I was in!"

If you're going to crib life episodes from somewhere, you probably shouldn't use The Simpsons, as there are too many people who will know where you're cribbing from.

My mom's naturalization test was insanely easy. She'd been living in the US for about 18 years, and was pretty much an American at heart by that point. She went in for the test (which was an oral interview style test), and after a bit of chatting, the tester said "Look, to be honest, you're clearly more than qualified. We don't actually need to go through the questions. Congratulations."
posted by Bugbread at 6:54 AM on December 1, 2006

113. Name one war fought in the United States in the 1900s.
A: World War I, World War II, Korean War, Vietnam War, or Gulf (or Persian Gulf) War

"Fought in the United States"? Curious typo.
posted by aught at 7:06 AM on December 1, 2006

but it's extremely disingenuous to pretend that slavery was not a major factor in the events leading up to it

(fixed your misspelling)

Perhaps it would be... if that were my intent... wouldn't it?

If you mean: "It's impossible to avoid discussing slavery in describing how the US got to the point where the South was culturally, politically and above all economically distinct from the rest of the country to the point of secession and open warfare," we're in agreement.

However, if you think I was "pretending" anything, rest assured: If there's any extreme disingenousness anywhere in this derail, it's to think that the one-word knee-jerk response "slavery" is an adequate answer to a complex question, thereby obviating any real understanding of those factors. Forgive me: I guess I was a little too precise in attempting to play historical Buzzword Bingo, and DragonBoy's INS interviewer would've rolled her eyes at me as well.

Full disclosure: I grew up within walking distance of where the secession was first agreed to; in some ways, its aftermath is still being played out there. And slavery continued elsewhere in the US, completely legally, for months after that agreement had been rendered inoperative in my home town, too.
posted by pax digita at 10:40 AM on December 1, 2006

pax digita : "DragonBoy's INS interviewer would've rolled her eyes at me as well."

I'm pretty sure DragonBoy's INS interviewer doesn't exist. Note the uncanny similarity to this section of the episode "Much Apu About Nothing", Season 3, Episode 20 of The Simpsons.

Proctor: All right, here's your last question. What was the cause of
the Civil War?

Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious
schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists,
there were economic factors, both domestic and inter--

Proctor: Wait, wait... just say slavery.

Apu: Slavery it is, sir.

Sure, it's possible that DB's interview almost perfectly mimicked The Simpsons (all the way down to it being the last question on the exam), but I think it's far more likely that the anecdote was, ah, embellished.
posted by Bugbread at 11:08 AM on December 1, 2006

Eideteker writes "I happen to think that along with vehicle license retesting, individuals should be retested for citizenship periodically, and those who fail should be deported. Go find some country where you aren't burdened with a need to participate in your own governance."

So... the rest of the world should suffer for American ignorance?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 5:57 PM on December 1, 2006

I know Canadia's cool and all, I mean, I listen to Rush. And the coolest thing Canadjuns do is hate on the USA (have you listened to the lyrics of Beneath, Between, and Behind? That song rocks so hard). But you're seriously overreaching here. Deportees (or is it deportées?) would have to pass citizenship tests to move to other countries, or else they'd just have to drift in international waters, with all the pirate radio stations, illicit sex cruises, and Kato Kaelin fans.
posted by Eideteker at 6:21 PM on December 1, 2006

Oh, so this is satire.

Sorry, I know a lot of people who actually think Heinlein has good ideas on how to run things.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:48 PM on December 1, 2006