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Sexual Consent
December 1, 2006 11:59 PM   Subscribe

In the future there will be no sex without Sexual Consent.
posted by Occams Hammer (46 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Oh, hey! A time machine already set to 1994. Cool!
posted by squirrel at 12:11 AM on December 2, 2006 [1 favorite]


"It's funny because it's just like divorce, only for fucking!"
posted by Rhomboid at 12:36 AM on December 2, 2006


At least it gets everything out in the open before you do anything you might regret later. Or might, say, accuse someone of doing...
posted by liquorice at 12:43 AM on December 2, 2006


Article Twenty, huh?

Please provide complete article list kthxbi.
posted by exlotuseater at 12:45 AM on December 2, 2006


This thread is useless without the img tag.
posted by dazed_one at 1:14 AM on December 2, 2006


What's Article Twenty?! I need to know.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:17 AM on December 2, 2006


Life imitated art on this one back in the spring in the UK with the strapline "if you don't get a yes, don't have sex": 1, 2, 3. (Last two links PDFs). Unfortunately they seem to have taken down the audio from the radio campaign.
posted by greycap at 1:18 AM on December 2, 2006


At least here, in Victoria, with the new Sexual Offences reforms you need some form of verbal consent for it not to be legally classified as rape.
posted by liquorice at 1:23 AM on December 2, 2006


Blazecock, I know you're just trying to get me to say it out loud. This is a family site!
posted by imperium at 1:35 AM on December 2, 2006


I'd place my bets on it being getting porked up the bum. It seems kinda tame like that.

Oops, did our g-rating just go up?
posted by liquorice at 1:42 AM on December 2, 2006


Go up where?
posted by loquacious at 2:08 AM on December 2, 2006


File under "P" for pre-shtup.
posted by rob511 at 2:08 AM on December 2, 2006


This was more amusing than I thought it would be.
posted by grouse at 2:16 AM on December 2, 2006


Wasn't this a Bloom County strip back in the day?
posted by furiousthought at 2:18 AM on December 2, 2006


Go up where?

Read article 29 for details. A late addition to the contract.
posted by liquorice at 2:35 AM on December 2, 2006


"That's panty peeler and you know it"
posted by Tenuki at 3:03 AM on December 2, 2006 [1 favorite]


"children come in here!"

*giggles*
posted by liquorice at 3:05 AM on December 2, 2006


better than I'd thought it would be too
posted by skinnydipp at 3:10 AM on December 2, 2006


What does the late arriving blonde say? I can't make it out. I mean, I can half guess but..?

Oh, this is very well done. Thanks Occams Hammer - you should probably add tags to the post.
posted by peacay at 3:45 AM on December 2, 2006


She asks if she needs to get her lawyer.
posted by grouse at 3:51 AM on December 2, 2006


You know that article 17 only works when there's some equal reciprocation.

Also.. [this fucking rocks]
posted by eyeballkid at 3:53 AM on December 2, 2006 [1 favorite]


What's Article Twenty?! I need to know.

Ass to mouth, Max Hardcore stylee.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:58 AM on December 2, 2006


Much funnier than I thought it would be too. Directed by Jason Reitman...the same guy as "Thank You for Smoking"?
posted by otherwordlyglow at 5:31 AM on December 2, 2006


They had a downloadable PDF on that site which was a very short version of the Sexual Consent form. My lawyerly friend and I were very disappointed that they didn't have all the articles on there.
posted by divabat at 5:55 AM on December 2, 2006


Oh man, that KITH skit Tenuki posted is way better. "Children come in here!!"
posted by neustile at 6:26 AM on December 2, 2006


based on the "funnier than I thought it would be" comments, I clicked the link, but got bored about a minute in and closed it. This is a really old joke.
posted by mdn at 6:29 AM on December 2, 2006


Unfortunately for me it didn't put a new spin on an old bit the way that, say, Little Britain does. For an American audience this goes back to those mid-90s, ultra-politically correct times when many colleges actually had sexual consent forms and a lot of jokes were made about them (i.e. The Kids in the Hall sketch). So it's at least ten years out of date. I'm positive there's older comedy based on the same idea, though, it's just not coming to mind. Almost sounds like something Ernie Kovacs could have come up with.

The new twist of having it take place immediately before the act is certainly viable, but most of the dialog only approaches witty, not funny. I watched it a half-hour ago and I'm not finding any truly memorable lines like the "panty-peeler" one from Mark McKinney. Maybe the article 20 exchange, but that's your standard anal sex joke. The nipple play bit did make me smile.
posted by Captaintripps at 7:39 AM on December 2, 2006


Chappelle's show did this exact same thing, but much, much funnier.
posted by psmealey at 7:48 AM on December 2, 2006


Chappelle pulled a reverse Elvis.
posted by HyperBlue at 8:31 AM on December 2, 2006


Wasn't there a Law and Order about this?
posted by greatgefilte at 8:50 AM on December 2, 2006


I totally wanted it to end with the lawyers getting it on.
posted by redbeard at 8:52 AM on December 2, 2006


Actually Kids in the Hall did it better.
posted by Justin Case at 10:06 AM on December 2, 2006


Heh. It used to be called "marrage"
posted by delmoi at 10:08 AM on December 2, 2006


What does the late arriving blonde say? I can't make it out. I mean, I can half guess but..?

"Oh, sorry Should... I go get my Lawyer?"
posted by delmoi at 10:13 AM on December 2, 2006


wait, isn't article 20 "reverse Elvis"?
posted by arialblack at 10:34 AM on December 2, 2006


I thought Judah's lawyer was a much hotter babe than his date.
posted by pax digita at 10:40 AM on December 2, 2006


Tenuki (and Justin C.), yeah, that KITH sketch was the first thing that came to my mind as well.
"Your client ejaculated, Gerald!"
Classic. I prefer the KITH because it's not some political commentary on how paranoid we are getting about lawyerness... just a commentary on the age-old issues of men being from mars and women from venus.
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 11:10 AM on December 2, 2006


Ok, this is bugging me - what's a reverse Elvis?
posted by Zack_Replica at 11:53 AM on December 2, 2006


where your singing goes all to hell but your body stays buff
posted by edgeways at 1:06 PM on December 2, 2006


I would do that guy without a consent form. He's fucking adorable.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:27 PM on December 2, 2006


Uhm. Yeah. Old. Joke.

When this joke first came out, I was still a virgin. Hell, I was in middle school. Now I know that a quick pause and, "hey, is this okay?" or "what if I did X?" isn't a mood breaker. Neither is being sober. If sobriety and basic communication are the admission price of casual sex, then I say, bring it on. When done correctly, it can even win some nice guy (or naughty guy if that's your bag) points when done with style.

People who still carry these early 90s Angry White Guy chips on their shoulder need to tune the fuck in. There is so much more important stuff for white guys humanity to be pissed about.

Also, Dave Chappelle can do no wrong.
posted by Skwirl at 3:35 PM on December 2, 2006


Article 20 is clearly anal sex, judging by the woman's glance. Is that what kids are referring to as "Reverse Elvis" these days?
posted by Burhanistan at 11:27 PM on December 2, 2006


For an American audience this goes back to those mid-90s, ultra-politically correct times when many colleges actually had sexual consent forms and a lot of jokes were made about them

What?

I assumed this was intended as over-the-top satire.
posted by Target Practice at 1:25 AM on December 3, 2006


Target Practice: No, I recall that one university, UCLA probably, had tried to adopt policies or guidelines for its students where they would need to explicitly agree on progressive steps towards intercourse (eg. I'd like to fondle your breasts now). I don't think it caught on.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:40 PM on December 3, 2006


Target Practice: I don't see how it being over-the-top satire deviates at all from what I said (though I think it's mediocre satire, not very over-the-top satire).
posted by Captaintripps at 6:21 PM on December 3, 2006


Reverse Elvis = Black man taking White man's media, putting his spin on it, marketing it wider, and profiting. (I guess, I was drunk when I made it up upthread) I actually think the anal sex reference above was funnier.
posted by HyperBlue at 9:27 PM on December 4, 2006


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