Comments on: VP's daughter to be unwed mom.

VP's daughter to be unwed mom.

tula — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 16:58:08 -0800

Mary Cheney's got a bun in the oven. Complete with lukewarm response from Dick & Lynne. Lynne discussed previously.

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:04:16 -0800

"The vice president and Mrs. Cheney are looking forward with eager anticipation to the arrival of their sixth grandchild," spokesman Lea Anne McBride said last night. I wouldn't describe that as lukewarm.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:05:52 -0800

Yeah, someone's got an agenda here, and it's not Dick & Lynne. Try to post stuff that isn't all over the news, and if you must post such stuff, try to do it without extra added BUSH SUX AMIRITE???

By: bardic

bardic — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:09:53 -0800

I didn't know that Mary Cheney and her girlfriend considered themselves "married." I'm sure this pleases James Dobson to no end. And languagehat, please go away.

By: 2sheets

2sheets — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:12:16 -0800

"I wouldn't describe that as lukewarm." Yes, that boilerplate statement from a spokesperson brought a tear to my eye.

By: papakwanz

papakwanz — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:13:05 -0800

Is it OK to abort a gay baby?

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:16:00 -0800

TownHall blogger Kevin McCullough on hearing the news of the pregnancy of Mary Cheney ("who engages in lesbianism"):

"1. How did the exclusive sexual union of these two women bring about this conception? 2. What does it mean, from a biological nature to realize that a man WAS in fact necessary for this conception to take place? 3. What does it mean to the supposed 'intimacy' that 'two people share' which was intended by the Creator to be a function that creates life, to be forced to include a third party? 4. Doesn't it make a rather strong statement that biologically speaking, the sexual union these two women share - is in fact, scientifically speaking - inadequate? 5. Is it healthy for a society to celebrate inadequate sexual unions that lead to everything except what it was designed to be? 6. Knowing from scientific data that children excel best when given the full and natural parental structure of one mother and one father, is it moral to bring a child into such a scenario - purposefully, simply to stroke one's own desire to have a child - sort of like a new handbag, or pair of shoes?"

Answers: 1. Turkey-baster. No inclusive or exclusive sexual union with a man is really necessary for conception to take place. Just visit a fertility clinic like other straight and gay couples. 2. As we learn in Health Sciences and Biology 101 (and from Mom and Dad's "Birds and the Bees" discussion), sperm is needed to fertilize an egg. 3. Have Ted Haggard answer that question. 4. Have Ted Haggard's wife tell you about inadequate sexual unions. 5. I think Jim Bakker could respond to that. 6. Ask Vice President and Mrs. Cheney how they feel about you comparing their unborn grandchild being compared to a Fendi bag or pair of Gucci loafers.

By: koeselitz

koeselitz — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:20:18 -0800

"Lukewarm," my ass. Dick should've been pres. World'd be a better place.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:21:14 -0800

I just hope that, boy or girl, they name it 'Lon.'

By: bardic

bardic — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:23:02 -0800

Maybe she got the sperm from an aging Republican star like William F. Buckley, kinda like Melissa Ethridge requesting baby-batter from David Crosby. Eww.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:23:03 -0800

And languagehat, please go away. bardic, we're on swell terms as you said. If you'd like it to stay that way, lay off my friend.

By: 2sheets

2sheets — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:23:56 -0800

jonmc FTW

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:25:30 -0800

kinda like Melissa Ethridge requesting baby-batter from David Crosby. That one, I have to admit kind of baffled me, too. Crosby's a very talented dude, but who thinks, "given a world full of choices, I'd like the father of my child to be an overweight dopefiend who looks like Yosemite Sam with a hangover." I mean, Melissa's pals with Bruce Springsteen, why didn't she use him?

By: bardic

bardic — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:26:03 -0800

Sure thing Sheriff. (Honestly, go back and re-read what you just typed.)

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:26:05 -0800

"Cheney and Poe live in Virginia, which pretty much offers them no legal rights because of the hateful laws it has passed in the last two years: 'Those laws may vitiate any legal agreement between the two, period, about anything. The law ensures that Mary's partner has no legal rights whatsoever in their child, or in what happens to Mary (or vice versa), such as if one partner has to go the hospital, the other can't visit. The law may even nullify any wills that Mary and Heather write regarding each other, and it may make it impossible for gay people to go to court to resolve any difference about anything - the courts can't recognize gay unions, so they can't make any decisions that would imply recognition (custody, hospital visitation, wills, etc.) It's beyond ironic that Virginia's new law, one of the most hateful, bigoted laws on the books, is now targeting the vice president's own daughter and soon-to-be new grandchild.'"

By: mullingitover

mullingitover — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:28:14 -0800

I wonder if Dick Cheney would agree that Child Services should take the child and place it in the care of a heterosexual couple?

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:28:43 -0800

Associated Press: Groups Mixed on Mary Cheney's Pregnancy Times Online: Christian Outrage at Cheney's Lesbian Pregnancy

By: quin

quin — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:29:17 -0800

Who's the father? Or are we going to go with Immaculate Conception on this one? It is the right time of year for that kind of announcement.

By: Cyrano

Cyrano — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:29:48 -0800

This comment expresses my outrage.

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:33:07 -0800

Wonkette: Online Poll -- Which member of the Bush Family impregnated Mary Cheney?

By: tula

tula — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:33:30 -0800

Jeez languagehat, maybe try decaf. It's just a funny a funny news item, no?

By: The God Complex

The God Complex — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:35:06 -0800

Mary Cheney's got a bun in the oven. Complete with lukewarm response from Dick & Lynne. Lynne discussed previously. bardic, we're on swell terms as you said. If you'd like it to stay that way, lay off my friend. /furrows brow /groans while massaging temples /open mouths /pauses /closes mouth /leaves, shaking head slowly.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:35:41 -0800

Who's the father? I'm thinking either the guy who played the father on Seventh Heaven or Kid Rock.

By: tula

tula — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:36:19 -0800

not twice funny, just once.

By: bardic

bardic — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:36:20 -0800

So Mary Cheney won't come out in full support of gays to have full rights over kids they have through sperm donorship or adoption. Not so much of a problem for her, because she and her family are loaded, and if anything happens to her the child will be provided for. The rest of the gay world/suckers who were incapable of being born to rich parents? Meh -- let Child Services step in. Only rich gays deserve to be considered "real" parents. The very definition of cowardice. Who the hell bought and read her book, anways?

By: jam_pony

jam_pony — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:36:52 -0800

Congratulations to the happy couple.

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:37:00 -0800

Perfect for Dick Cheney -- a shotgun wedding in his family!

"Our crack team of Cheney Compound Spies never sleeps. Hot on the heels of the Mary Cheney pregnancy announcement, one Op saw evidence of mysterious rituals at the Vice Presidential Lair:
Saw a huge white tent on the grounds of Naval Obsrv this morning. WIll Mary be a December bride? Will it be a shotgun wedding?"
A shotgun gay marriage — precisely what the religious right has been warning us of for years! The Cheneys have thus far refused to disclose the identity of the biological father, so we'll have to assume it's either some sort of terrifying Michael J. Fox-mandated cloning experiment, or an immaculate conception.^*

By: clevershark

clevershark — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:38:02 -0800

koeselitz writes "Dick should've been pres. World'd be a better place." You're not terribly smart if you think he isn't. It's pretty telling that the White House political machine has pretty much gone to shit the moment Dick lost his chief of staff.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:38:07 -0800

alright, overreaction. I've grown to respect bardic, butl-hat's an old buddy and I've seen them clash twice today (and I was just listening to old Raven records), so I went into Buford Pusser mode. apologies.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:41:46 -0800

ericb writes "Cheney and Poe live in Virginia, which pretty much offers them no legal rights because of the hateful laws it has passed in the last two years..." It shouldn't be much of a problem for them, though. They're rich and well-connected.

By: PareidoliaticBoy

PareidoliaticBoy — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:42:08 -0800

"The true test of a first rate mind is the ability to hold two contradictory ideas at the same time." F. Scott Fitzgerald One thing about these fundamalist religious fascists is that they have no problem saying one thing, while doing entirely another.

By: justgary

justgary — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:44:10 -0800

Jeez languagehat, maybe try decaf. It's just a funny a funny news item, no? posted by tula So now a funny news item equals best of the web? Gotcha.

By: The God Complex

The God Complex — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:48:22 -0800

so I went into Buford Pusser mode. apologies. Don't apologize to us. Apologize to our Reptaloid Masters.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:49:46 -0800

Apologize to our Reptaloid Masters. Too late. I shot and then chicken-fried them. The next thread up made me do it.

By: four panels

four panels — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:59:57 -0800

Mary "gay Republican" Cheney Mary "vegan abortion" Cheney Mary "Jewish Nazi" Cheney Mary "I'm so fucking rich fuck you" Cheney

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:05:07 -0800

Poor Bastard.

By: bitter-girl.com

bitter-girl.com — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:33:15 -0800

"Who the hell bought and read her book, anways?" Well, not too many people. One of the high points of my summer was learning that my first book -- a knitting book, for heaven's sake -- had outsold hers. http://www.advocate.com/news_detail.asp?id=32039

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:36:20 -0800

Apologize to our Reptaloid Masters. i'm sure you meant 'Rectaloid Masters'.

By: tula

tula — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:39:49 -0800

So now a funny news item equals best of the web? Gotcha. Actually I thought at the very least it was nice news, kinda funny, but I also think there are interesting implications when social policy runs smack into real life. I'm not alone in this apparently.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:43:10 -0800

when social policy runs smack into real life. there's social policy and there's real life. rarely does the twain ever meet.

By: peeping_Thomist

peeping_Thomist — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:43:32 -0800

quin: "Who's the father? Or are we going to go with Immaculate Conception on this one?" That would be virgin birth, not immaculate conception. The two doctrines are about significantly different things. Mary was immaculately conceived, but she had a human father. BTW, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception is this Friday, December 8. I guess the feast of the virgin birth is Christmas.

By: SPrintF

SPrintF — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:07:22 -0800

Sings: Cheney's got a bun...

By: Brian B.

Brian B. — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:13:16 -0800

The true test of a first rate mind is the ability to hold two contradictory ideas at the same time." Or not.

By: homunculus

homunculus — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:14:13 -0800

Are Congressional Wars Coming? Since Cheney Has Already Said He'll Ignore the Democratic Congress, It Seems Likely

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:16:44 -0800

Poor Bastard. Nah, Rich Bastard.

By: papakwanz

papakwanz — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:21:22 -0800

koeselitz writes "Dick should've been pres. World'd be a better place." *Stares dumbfounded at koeselitz for 1 hour* PareidoliaticBoy writes "One thing about these fundamalist religious fascists is that they have no problem saying one thing, while doing entirely another." Problem is (Dick) Cheney isn't a religious fundamentalist. I don't think he gives a flying two-fisted lesbian sperm-donor fuck about religion. He's a scheming, conniving, power-hungry, Machaevellian opportunist, and he knows what gets votes. Anyway, best wishes to the kid. I hope that he/she/it doesn't inherit any scumbag genes from Grampa Dick (or hypocrite genes from Mama).

By: homunculus

homunculus — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:23:29 -0800

but she had a human father. Unless the child was fathered by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:25:50 -0800

FB- is the father.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:26:39 -0800

Problem is (Dick) Cheney isn't a religious fundamentalist. I don't think he gives a flying two-fisted lesbian sperm-donor fuck about religion. He's a scheming, conniving, power-hungry, Machaevellian opportunist, and he knows what gets votes. We Have A Winner!

By: namespan

namespan — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:32:12 -0800

Jeez languagehat, maybe try decaf. It's just a funny a funny news item, no? And funny news items are what metafilter's all about.

By: sharpener

sharpener — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:36:53 -0800

SPrintF for the win.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:49:30 -0800

"Aw, she's got her mommy's smile! And Grampy Dickie's dead, souless eyes!"

By: cmonkey

cmonkey — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:51:08 -0800

What the hell is this "for the win" shit and why am I suddenly seeing it all over the internet?

By: squidfartz

squidfartz — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 20:04:38 -0800

after the jump- cmonkey for the win!

By: andreaazure

andreaazure — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 20:34:30 -0800

OK, seriously, FTW is so 2006. (What, too soon?)

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:33:25 -0800

you know how some people shouldn't breed? this is one of those cases. her wealth, privilege, and connections will make their lives immeasurably easier than every other gay and lesbian couple in Virginia, who have absolutely no rights as couples or as families--they're not even allowed to have legal agreements that approximate anything straight couples get automatically. Her silence all during the 2000 and 2004 campaigns helped her father and Bush hurt all the rest of us.

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:33:43 -0800

OK, seriously, FTW is so 2006. (What, too soon?) Yep -- wait for FTW's demise a mintue after 11:59 p.m., December 31, 2006.

By: papakwanz

papakwanz — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:33:56 -0800

We Have A Winner! *tearing up* Oh gosh, I just don't even know what to say. I've got so many people to thank, where to start... *orchestra starts up* Oh no, buddy! You gave Julia Roberts her time, now it's my time to shine!

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:39:45 -0800

Every time I think of this my blood almost boils, and then I suddenly shake my head and proceed through the world, wiser in regards to its hopelessness.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:40:43 -0800

and the Cheney family's outrage over Kerry and Edwards just mentioning Mary's sexual orientation in 04 when it was the GOP who she was working for that made it an issue rings even more false now that this was publicly announced. Mary Cheney calls John Kerry a "son of a bitch" for using gays for political gain, but not a word about George Bush or dear old dad doing the same ...Sitting in the studio audience when Edwards mentioned her sexual orientation, Cheney said she looked at the vice-presidential candidate and mouthed the words"Go F*** Yourself' a phrase her father had earlier employed against Democratic Senator Patrick Leahy. ...

By: phearlez

phearlez — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:58:31 -0800

So can all her fellow homosexuals call that child of an Uncle Tom their cousin?

By: justgary

justgary — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 22:22:11 -0800

Actually I thought at the very least it was nice news, kinda funny, but I also think there are interesting implications when social policy runs smack into real life. I'm not alone in this apparently. posted by tula You thought wrong. This thread could have 200 comments and it would still be crappy. The only thing that makes it crappier is the way you posted your crappy link. There's nothing in the link that makes it worthwhile. It's a couple of bland paragraphs, which is why the only comments you see are either jokey ones or agenda driven drivel by the same members that wait for these chances to push their lame links upon the masses. You've been here long enough to know this is a crappy link, so I'll guess you simply don't care or can't quite grasp what metafilter is about. Regardless, I'm guessing matt/jess are either asleep or tired of hitting the delete button. This is easily the lamest thread of the day. Congrats compadre, that's an impressive feat.

By: tula

tula — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 22:44:12 -0800

Wow. Just, wow. And I stand by my post.

By: any major dude

any major dude — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 22:47:40 -0800

I blame John Kerry for this

By: bardic

bardic — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 23:42:03 -0800

I blame hot lesbo action.

By: ninjew

ninjew — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 23:49:34 -0800

This bun in the oven.. can it be chicken-fried?

By: Optamystic

Optamystic — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 01:58:48 -0800

Someone needs to justchill.

By: sparkletone

sparkletone — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 02:16:44 -0800

i'm sure you meant 'Rectaloid Masters'. He didn't. He meant Reptiloid. For explanation, please watch the two "Exploratory Committee" videos available here.

By: bardic

bardic — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 06:30:54 -0800

Andrew Sullivan on Mary Cheney. He actually has a lot more sympathy for her than I do.

By: phearlez

phearlez — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 09:57:11 -0800

Andrew Sullivan on Mary Cheney. You think that's how this happened?

By: Brian B.

Brian B. — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 11:14:50 -0800

justgary, feel free to try again by choosing one of each. A. You thought wrong. B. You misunderstood the assignment. C. You have a right to your opinion. A. This thread could have 200 comments and it would still be crappy. B. This thread could have 200 comments, and it would still be entirely your fault. C. I will read up to 200 comments only. A. The only thing that makes it crappier is the way you posted your crappy link. B. The only thing that works is the link. C. You forgot to post your crappie link. A. There's nothing in the link that makes it worthwhile. B. There's so much information here that it needs harpooning. C. The links don't have enough gossip for my standards. A. It's a couple of bland paragraphs, which is why the only comments you see are either jokey ones or agenda driven drivel by the same members that wait for these chances to push their lame links upon the masses. B. Agenda driven drivellers heap dry humor on the masses by pushing lame links onto the members menu. C. No comment. A. You've been here long enough to know this is a crappy link, so I'll guess you simply don't care or can't quite grasp what metafilter is about. B. You will never be one of us. C. So you think you are one of us? A. Regardless, I'm guessing matt/jess are either asleep or tired of hitting the delete button. B. This admins are too lenient in their torpor. C. The admins obviously agree with me. A. This is easily the lamest thread of the day. B. This is hardly the thread of the day. C. This is not the only thread today. A. Congrats compadre, that's an impressive feat. B. In other words, sucking is usually bad. C. I look forward to reading something else.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 14:32:32 -0800

Andrew Sullivan on Mary Cheney. You think that's how this happened? Well, he is a barebacker, but he's also a power bottom (which would make him pregnant then) ; >

By: tehloki

tehloki — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 22:50:07 -0800

Im in ur useless thread Commenting about ur useless thread

By: homunculus

homunculus — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 22:55:01 -0800

What Mary Cheney should expect while she's expecting

By: amberglow

amberglow — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 18:09:43 -0800

"just like my dad"