Life could be worse...you could be a Judas goat

December 8, 2006 3:30 PM

It’s not the big fat radio collar around your neck that’s so bad. It’s not even being painted bright colors. It’s that every time you make a new bunch of friends, they all tend to die (146k PDF). Welcome to the life of a Judas goat (89k PDF), one of the worst jobs in the animal kingdom. Your naturally sociable nature make you ideal for leading sheep to slaughter or helping animal-control specialists find groups of your compatriots in rugged environments, where they proceed to shoot them—everyone but you—from helicopters. Of course, you then get lonely, so you go off and find another bunch and the process begins again.
posted by gottabefunky (16 comments total)

An aptly named and interesting technique. Thanks for the post.
posted by chrisamiller at 3:36 PM on December 8, 2006 [1 favorite]

Very cool post.
posted by danb at 3:40 PM on December 8, 2006

Ah! I saw a short film about a Judas goat which was really affecting. The name of the film was the name of the goat - something like Ramses... The only sounds in the film were animal sounds and the little tinkling bell on the goat. May have to post this to ask.mefi...
posted by vacapinta at 3:41 PM on December 8, 2006

"Judas goat" is indeed an apt name, but does he even get his thirty shekels of silver out of the deal? He's a Judas pawn-goat.

Poor goat. GBF, this post was flavourful, sad and well-composed. Another thank-you.
posted by Milkman Dan at 3:42 PM on December 8, 2006

I wonder if aliens are doing the same to us?
posted by The Power Nap at 3:50 PM on December 8, 2006

Sheep Battle Royale!
posted by Artw at 3:57 PM on December 8, 2006

Dude--hunting goats by helicopter--I think I just found my dream job.
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:26 PM on December 8, 2006

I just can't help wondering what it does to these animals' psyches.
posted by gottabefunky at 4:29 PM on December 8, 2006

I wonder how long the goats' memories are? If they even remember each slaughter, and if they do, for how long?

I can't help but think of the "Mutton" WarCraft II custom map...
posted by Verdandi at 4:40 PM on December 8, 2006

Awww, it's like a tragic superhero -- UnbreakableGoat.
posted by LordSludge at 5:58 PM on December 8, 2006

They should just let all the invasive goats live happily until they've eaten every bit of flora off of the Galapagos. That would be much less sad and much less traumatic on the psyches of these fragile creatures.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:17 PM on December 8, 2006

Barring “My Pet Goat”, goats are wonderful, entertaining creatures. The word “capricious” is rooted in the Latin for goat. Just imagine an 80lb. kitten with horns, but more charming and sociable than a dog.
posted by Huplescat at 8:33 PM on December 8, 2006

Don't know much about the real Judas Goats, thanks for the link. The reason I was curious is that there's a song "Judas Goat" by Filistine that I just used as part of a dance routine! Excellent song.
If anyone's curious, the politically-charged remix version is on the web.
posted by Asim at 10:10 PM on December 8, 2006

These goats, one worker said, chewed tobacco and did their job just like anyone else. One goat, they claimed, was in his thirties, and had been working there for more than two decades.

Wow.

First, we have goats leading other goats to slaughter. And then, they chew tobacco.

Amazing.

(No, really. This is really awesome.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:49 AM on December 9, 2006

Vacapinta, if the short was about 10 minutes long & then tinkling bells were on his horns, then the goat film in question might have been Adonis XIV.
posted by neda at 10:12 AM on December 9, 2006

Great post.
posted by aerotive at 7:45 PM on December 9, 2006