Be A Rock God-Feel The Power-Enjoy The Power-Be The Very Best!

December 12, 2006 7:35 AM

The Internet Band
I Say Yeah! Yeah Yeah Yeahh..........I Got Fame........Right Here............If You Want It. The Beatles Had 4 Singers, I Want 5. Are You Worthy?
The World's Next Great Rock Band Is Now Forming. You Will Absolutely Be The #1 Band After Your First Cd Release. I Guarantee It.
posted by rachelpapers (31 comments total)

Does Probability Of Success Grow In Proportion To The Number Of Capital Letters In One's Website?
posted by Afroblanco at 7:45 AM on December 12, 2006

No Flash intro, no online store selling "concept" merchandise, and no downloadable PDF of the Mission Statement.

I smell fake.
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:51 AM on December 12, 2006

I'm thinking the wtf tag might be useful here...
posted by jokeefe at 7:51 AM on December 12, 2006

Holy Mother Of Fuck.
posted by slimepuppy at 7:52 AM on December 12, 2006

I Have Noticed That Songwriters Are Like Athletes, When They Hit Like 35-38 Years Old. They Lose Their Songwriting Ability. They Really Can't Write Great Anymore

uh ....
posted by ParsonWreck at 7:57 AM on December 12, 2006

I love the Noel Gallagher bit: "Consider Joining This Band For Awhile. Isn't It Time You Moved Up To A Bigger Band Anyway? Really Alot Bigger. . . . I'll Even Help You With Some Of Your Oasis Songs. For Free, I'll Help You Some. Not Write The Whole Song For You."

Awesome.
posted by oddman at 8:04 AM on December 12, 2006

Ah, my eyes!
posted by owenkun at 8:17 AM on December 12, 2006

I Have Noticed That Songwriters Are Like Athletes, When They Hit Like 35-38 Years Old. They Lose Their Songwriting Ability.

Heh.
posted by interrobang at 8:20 AM on December 12, 2006

Do you guys think that when they "Absolutely Be The #1 Band After Their First Cd Release" they will be willing to hire someone to make that site tolerable?
posted by nkyad at 8:23 AM on December 12, 2006

And this is posted here why?
posted by mongonikol at 8:29 AM on December 12, 2006

And this is posted here why?

To ruin your day.
posted by rocketman at 8:30 AM on December 12, 2006

Are You The Only Talented One In Your Band?

Actually no, but I can pass it on to him, you wanna leave a message?
posted by micayetoca at 8:34 AM on December 12, 2006

You may call me crazy, but the style that this is written in looks a lot like that Iggy Pop rider someone posted sometime ago. Perhaps his manager just got tired of the old guys and decided to give it a new go with younger "No Alpha Males-No Wimps" guys.
posted by micayetoca at 8:41 AM on December 12, 2006

mongonikol : "And this is posted here why?"

So that you too can "Be A Part Of This Forming Megagroup- For Singers/Rock Singers- Ages 19-23 Only.". Unless you're the alpha male of your primate group, because it says "No Alpha Males". Or a wimp, it also says "No Wimps".

But mainly to ruin your day, as rocketman said.
posted by nkyad at 8:44 AM on December 12, 2006

Isn't that the way most boy-bands are formed though -- if you fit a certain look and demographic, you "can't lose", at least in music-marketing terms. Voice sucks? That doesn't matter, that's what they have sound engineers for.
posted by clevershark at 8:49 AM on December 12, 2006

And this is posted here why?

Obviously, you're not a golfer.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:50 AM on December 12, 2006

Oh man, the Noel Gallagher section was the big payoff.
posted by ludwig_van at 8:51 AM on December 12, 2006

I love how it's announced that the band will have "Singing Capable Musicians". Clearly those guys will be just one upgrade away from being actual singers.
posted by clevershark at 8:53 AM on December 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

I burst out laughing with Blazecock Pileon's comment.

But seriously, if people are going to start to root for it to be deleted, at least just wait till jonmc wakes up and see it, I'm sure he'll have a laugh with it.
posted by micayetoca at 8:56 AM on December 12, 2006

It will just be good music, played well by men.
posted by drezdn at 9:01 AM on December 12, 2006

Forgot to mention: rachelpapers wins the 3DO system!
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:02 AM on December 12, 2006

Hi Guys, I'm 42 Years Old. I've Been Thinking Up Rock And Pop Song Ideas For Over 21 Years. I Have 137 Partial-Completed Songs.

How amusing.
posted by nanojath at 9:39 AM on December 12, 2006

Paging Barry Dworkin from The Gas Station Dogs (search for it) to the service desk, please.
posted by bunnytricks at 9:49 AM on December 12, 2006

The Internet Is So Inexpensive And It Goes All Around The World. With Billions Of People And Word Of Mouth.

Eew.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:28 AM on December 12, 2006

from bunnytricks' link:

- you have a couple of openings in the band still?

- yeah, we are looking for two lead guitar players, a bass player, drummer and a keyboardist

Excellent stuff.
posted by micayetoca at 10:44 AM on December 12, 2006

My head hurts.
posted by kdar at 11:10 AM on December 12, 2006

It will just be good music, played well by men. - posted by drezdn

Music-core, drezden, MUSIC-CORE
posted by retronic at 12:55 PM on December 12, 2006

Almost every sentence in that website reads like a title of a Jim Steinman - Meat Loaf song.
posted by Spatch at 12:59 PM on December 13, 2006

Christ. I just found this website. I was so going to post it. THREE WEEKS LATE, DOLLAR SHORT.
posted by cortex at 5:50 PM on January 3, 2007

Update
posted by micayetoca at 10:12 AM on January 7, 2007

I just wish he'd post some mp3s.
posted by cortex at 10:52 AM on January 7, 2007