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December 13, 2006 11:08 PM   Subscribe

Support your people
posted by theemperorhasnoclotheson (28 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
There is a brief amount of nipple visible so maybe this should be tagged?
posted by GavinR at 11:31 PM on December 13, 2006


Sorry, I must have missed that. NSFW then.
posted by theemperorhasnoclotheson at 11:34 PM on December 13, 2006


I think those are Jews.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:36 PM on December 13, 2006


Eponysterical.
posted by greycap at 11:38 PM on December 13, 2006


jewish boobies
posted by growabrain at 11:46 PM on December 13, 2006


Jewbies!
posted by jonson at 11:59 PM on December 13, 2006


boobalas? [Yinglish joke, sorry]
posted by blahblahblah at 12:07 AM on December 14, 2006


if you go to the website there are other ads.

one implies apparently that assassinations are a normal line of work for a Jew.

this one is, uh, about penises or whatever.

posted by mano at 12:11 AM on December 14, 2006


Hey, Mel Gibson, now we're talking sugar tits!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:45 AM on December 14, 2006


To put this in context; imagine if the three losers in the contest for the girl were black (say) and the guy grabbing (protecting?) her tits was white. How funny would that be?

So what difference that they're Jewish. Stinking racism.
posted by kingzog at 1:01 AM on December 14, 2006


one implies apparently that assassinations are a normal line of work for a Jew.
wtf? dumbest of teh intrenets..

lets waste precious effort in dividing the world more
posted by borq at 1:46 AM on December 14, 2006


for the record, I learned how to assassinate in hrebrew school, right after learning gimmel.
posted by allen.spaulding at 3:11 AM on December 14, 2006


one implies apparently that assassinations are a normal line of work for a Jew

Could someone explain this video to me? I really tried hard, but I do not understand what the fuck is happenning on this planet anymore.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:11 AM on December 14, 2006


hrebrew. Great. Alas, my training instructs me to take myself out. It'll be like Masada, but about spelling. All in the name of Moses.
posted by allen.spaulding at 3:20 AM on December 14, 2006


I think I could make viral marketing videos, too. Something like this, right?

Anwärterin Helga Schmidt stands in the cold at the Auschwitz railhead, giving the Sonderkommando a taste of her whip to wake them up. They'll need to work tirelessly if she's going to get back to the guard house before Standartenführer Neumann is finished his shift. She wonders if he even notices her... but it does seem that when she enters the canteen he tends to delay his leave, and she often catches him gazing at her, out of the corner of her eye. What's the delay? The train has been waiting at the front gate for over an hour.

Finally the train pulls in, but something is wrong. The head capo calls her over to an empty box car. No survivors on this one? Nothing new. But as she leans in, her heart begins to flutter. Surely it can't be an accident?

The twisted corpses on the floor of the cattle car have been lovingly arranged to spell "Ich liebe dich".

And then, she feels strong hands on her shoulders, from behind. She turns, and falls into the loving embrace of Standartenführer Neumann.


WunderNetwerk, where the hottest aryans are! Join today!
posted by Meatbomb at 3:44 AM on December 14, 2006


meatbomb: make it more viral by adding a page with a formfield before the clip where you can enter your name so that "Ich liebe dich" will be followed by your own name?
posted by borq at 4:27 AM on December 14, 2006


posted by Meatbomb Could someone explain this video to me?

The untitled film is thematically rich, opening with an evening shot of a marina, and centering on an attractive couple enjoying dinner. After taking a sip of red wine--representing the bloodshed in the imminent confrontation--the woman excuses herself and gets up from the table. Of note is the clean and elegant manner with which she sips her wine and wipes her mouth, demonstrating the professionalism with which she will perform her duties.

The woman walks slowly down a hallway and disappears behind a corner and re-emerges, having shed her silvery, virginal gown and transformed into a black-leather-clad assassin, wearing a gold Star of David necklace and carrying a large case. She opens the case and unpacks an large sniper rifle, aiming it at a yacht moored in the marina. The symbology is clear: the woman is no longer a virgin--she has become a Jewish dominatrix, carrying her enormous black penis in own silvery, protective, virginal case.

Through the scope we see her point-of-view as she takes aim at her target: an older, cigar-smoking man, laughing as he talks into a phone. At this point, the story takes a decidedly Oedipal twist as the barrel of a gun suddenly appears next to the man's temple and he freezes--as he looks up at his executioner, the crosshairs pan up to reveal the dinner companion aboard the yacht! The young man smiles at her and places a handwritten card over the older man's chest with the question: "Will You Join My Network? Yes/No."

Oedipus has returned home to kill his father--the cigar-smoking king aboard his floating palace--but in a twist, Oedipus offers the coup-de-grace to his dominatrix lover in a clear display of submission while silently asking his dominatrix for permission to "join his network," a clear reference to sexual intercourse, all the while knowing he too is at the mercy of his dominatrix and her enormous black penis.

The woman smiles, squeezes the trigger, and fires a shot through the word, "Yes", simultaneously answering her submissive partner's question and killing King Laius. The story concludes with the couple seated at the dinner table, the woman again dressed in her silvery virginal gown, her dominant sexuality and black penis again concealed. The couple smiles and toasts each other, this time with champagne, its clarity and purity representing their consciences and the celebration of their union.
posted by fandango_matt at 4:30 AM on December 14, 2006 [2 favorites]


That was beautiful, fandango_matt, but what I meant to ask is "How the fuck is it acceptable to show the brutal cycle of violence in the Middle East as a part of what 'cool Jews' are all about?"
posted by Meatbomb at 4:47 AM on December 14, 2006


The world's first Jewish Network? What do they hate their mothers?
posted by srboisvert at 5:21 AM on December 14, 2006


I don't think I get it. Are the guys outside the pool Palestinians?
posted by micayetoca at 5:44 AM on December 14, 2006


posted by micayetoca Are the guys outside the pool Palestinians?

Yes. The four men seated at the pool's edge represent Israel, Palestine, Lebanon, and Syria; alternatively, the men could be construed to represent the IDF/Mossad, Hamas, Hezbollah, and the PLO. In either case, the young virginal woman--her sensual and ethereal beauty representing Israel--dives into the pool and loses her "Gaza Strip." But before she can exit the "Sea of Galilee", the young IDF soldier preserves her dignity from his leering "neighboring countries" eager to plunder her.
posted by fandango_matt at 5:59 AM on December 14, 2006


Well, I guess there are plenty of hard line Israeli hawk types who would enjoy this kind of thing. I find it hard to believe that many liberal American Jews would really find the advertisements appealing.
posted by delmoi at 7:42 AM on December 14, 2006


I dislike myself for snorting with laughter upon reading "boobalas".

I dislike the ads...nay, the whole concept behind these ads...more.

I adore what Meatbomb and fandango_matt are doing with them, though.
posted by squasha at 8:07 AM on December 14, 2006


one implies apparently that assassinations are a normal line of work for a Jew

Could someone explain this video to me? I really tried hard, but I do not understand what the fuck is happenning on this planet anymore.


Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
posted by dhartung at 8:08 AM on December 14, 2006


nothing more jewish than brad pitt and angelina fucking jolie.
posted by mano at 10:41 AM on December 14, 2006


Let me guess -- the reason this isn't offensive to women is...

It's anti-shiksa lust! Jewish women are babe-a-licious pieces of meat who gladly give tit to any dorky stranger -- so long as he's Jewish! Empowerment!
posted by Methylviolet at 5:18 PM on December 14, 2006


MetaFilter: Gladly giving tit to any dorky stranger--as long as he's Jewish.
posted by fandango_matt at 5:55 PM on December 14, 2006


I can imagine that premise would have a lot more dorks converting to Judaism.
posted by liquorice at 9:33 PM on December 14, 2006


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