It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

December 15, 2006 12:02 AM

Mom has 12-year-old son arrested for opening christmas present early. And they can keep him 'cause she doesn't want him anymore.
posted by sluglicker (43 comments total)

WTF ever happened to spankings?
posted by IronLizard at 12:07 AM on December 15, 2006

And who is the dumbass who can't speak into a mic properly?
posted by IronLizard at 12:09 AM on December 15, 2006

He also got the age of the kid wrong. So much for citizen reporters.
posted by IronLizard at 12:12 AM on December 15, 2006

My grandmother went out of her way to lay away a toy and paid on this thing for months," said the boy's mother, Brandi Ervin. "It was only to teach my son a lesson."

Layaway on hot electronics? Isn't that like doing a $2000 layaway on a TV, and months later by the time you pick it up the price tags on the same thing are running $1600?
posted by rolypolyman at 12:18 AM on December 15, 2006

IronLizard, Spankings are frowned upon, because they totally scar you. They scarred me at least... not physically... or emotionally... but the point is they might have stopped me from exhibiting some antisocial behavior, which is scarring, i think. See, the mother in this case has a far better method: Arrest your son... 2 weeks before Christmas... then disown him.
haha! pwnd! Now she gets to keep the gameboy for herself too!
It's a Christmas miracle!

btw, thanks for linking to YouTube's misterb1972. His views were just so enlightening, I couldn't have concluded an opinion without him.
posted by wumpus at 12:28 AM on December 15, 2006

I was shaking my head at this the other day. The mom acts like he is a troublesome pet to be taken to the shelter. But the fact that the kid took a swing at a cop is a pretty good indication that he has serious problems. Bad situation all around.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 12:32 AM on December 15, 2006

Tough Love
posted by chillmost at 12:40 AM on December 15, 2006

but the point is they might have stopped me from exhibiting some antisocial behavior, which is scarring, i think

Like disagreeing with authority or not giving a fuck about Aunt Puleeeze ?
posted by elpapacito at 1:12 AM on December 15, 2006

Why the link to the sedated Navy Seal cowering in a bomb shelter?
posted by zardoz at 1:33 AM on December 15, 2006 [1 favorite]

What I want to know is how does this kid get effective legal representation? His mother can't pay for it, because she's the complainant, so there's a conflict of interest there.

Given that he didn't actually *steal* the Gameboy, just played with it at Grandmom's house, it's not actually larceny -- any more than sitting in his Grandmother's armchair would be.

And doesn't every kid do this? I know I did, and I know my own kids did as well.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:42 AM on December 15, 2006

Why the link to the sedated Navy Seal cowering in a bomb shelter?

Maybe he's waiting for an explosion of newsfilter indignation?
posted by pracowity at 1:49 AM on December 15, 2006

What I want to know is how does this kid get effective legal representation? His mother can't pay for it, because she's the complainant, so there's a conflict of interest there.

Here in the States, there's the right to counsel. As a minor's involved, the county Public Defender could act on dis one yoot's behalf, while working in conjunction with child services and other branches of administration.
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:53 AM on December 15, 2006

Y'know, a yoot! A yute!
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:55 AM on December 15, 2006

Best of the web.
posted by LarryC at 4:38 AM on December 15, 2006

Meh, send him to Cambodia and be done with it.
posted by MetaMonkey at 4:53 AM on December 15, 2006

It is NOT a Navy Seal. It is a man eating a cookie and mumbling in front of a bad webcam. And it is the best link EVAR!
posted by veggieboy at 5:12 AM on December 15, 2006

But the fact that the kid took a swing at a cop is a pretty good indication that he has serious problems.

serious problem no 1 would seem to be his abusive hag of a mother
posted by pyramid termite at 5:17 AM on December 15, 2006 [1 favorite]

Wow, if my parents did that I'd have been doing hard time. The most memorable one was realizing that my parents were hiding presents above this big closet/coat rack thing in the hallway. Even on a chair I couldn't reach. My parents had one of those Polaroid SX-70 Sonar onestep cameras. You snapped a picture, the flash would go off and you'd wave it in the air until the photo developed. I stuck the camera on a stick, used the timer and hoisted it up above the closet.

I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that darned kid. And that darned kid was me, I threw the picture out but didn't think of the fact that it'd be pretty obvious lying at the top of the trash can.
posted by substrate at 5:19 AM on December 15, 2006 [2 favorites]

My wife used to find and open her Christmas presents regularly. She was always very careful to re-wrap them. As far as we know her parents never suspected that she did this.

I also must say - not to be bitchy (a statement invariably followed by something bitchy): Why did we need Mr. Muffled to read the news story to us? Are we now lazy enough that we can't even RTFA? If we need a YouTube link, can it at least be to something that adds to the conversation, in a non-mumbling manner? Links to a guy who puts a foam topper on his mike, so that we aren't treated to PFFFF every time he speaks a word with a hard consonant?
posted by caution live frogs at 6:07 AM on December 15, 2006

Where does it say she's disowning him?
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:09 AM on December 15, 2006 [1 favorite]

Dear Cops,

I have found myself criminally ill-equipped to properly raise this child o'mine, and as a result he is delinquent and well on his way to being a real criminal. Would you please arrest him? I think it would be a good way to show him who's boss.

Thanks,
Mom

PS - We're poor, which means we have to pay more for cool shit like game boys and nice TVs, but I think starting early on a healthy, expensive relationship with Lady Justice will really set my son straight.
posted by carsonb at 6:29 AM on December 15, 2006

I'll trade ya a CNN link and pointless youtube video for the actual incident report on Smoking Gun and a more substantial news article from a SC paper.
posted by D.C. at 7:09 AM on December 15, 2006

Adored substrate's story about furtive Xmas pix - and agree it was a very poor parental decision BUT if it's true - from D.C's news story link - that the single mom in the case is "struggling to get a business degree", jeepers, cut her some slack.
posted by Jody Tresidder at 7:23 AM on December 15, 2006

"struggling to get a business degree"

Well, she just screwed her first pooch. Congrats.
posted by CynicalKnight at 7:28 AM on December 15, 2006

Suposedly, when little Alfred Hitchcock once misbehaved, his father had him locked up in the local police station to teach him a lesson. The lessons he learned, about guilt and fear and other cool stuff, later helped fuel Hitchcock's creativity. That's what I learned in film school, anyway. So maybe this kid has a future as a filmmaker.
posted by Man-Thing at 7:35 AM on December 15, 2006

Maybe someone should get the mom a copy of The 400 Blows for Christmas?
posted by JJ86 at 7:56 AM on December 15, 2006

I hope the boy doesn't have a "complicated fall" while he's in custody.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:09 AM on December 15, 2006

That would be an awesome idea. Whenever a kid acts in some outrageous spoiled child kind of way, the parent (unless it is clearly the fault of the parent, of course) should have the option of trading the child straight up for one of the starving kids in Africa that we see on the tv at times. One for one trade. Done.
posted by flarbuse at 8:10 AM on December 15, 2006

I'm not condoning the mother's actions or attitude, but consider this:

When you buy someone a present, what you're actually paying for is their reaction. If you just wanted them to have something, you'd just get it for them - but the act of wrapping and gifting is to solicit a moment for YOU, to capture that moment of recognition and apprecation.

Sneaking a peek at the presents is certainly a time-honored tradition amongs kids... but read it for what it really is - spoiling that moment.
posted by davelog at 8:48 AM on December 15, 2006

Sneaking a peek at the presents is certainly a time-honored tradition amongs kids... but read it for what it really is - spoiling that moment.

Obviously the mom should sue the kid for damages in addition to laying criminal charges.
posted by mazola at 8:57 AM on December 15, 2006 [1 favorite]

The kid has ADHD and you wrap the present in front of him, warn him not to open it, then leave him unattended with it? This was a set up, man!
posted by hojoki at 9:00 AM on December 15, 2006 [1 favorite]

So maybe this kid has a future as a filmmaker.

Or a criminal. Usually, it's a criminal. Not to pour a health dose of reality in here or anything but once in the system, it's difficult to get out of the system. It's called recidivism.
posted by IronLizard at 9:03 AM on December 15, 2006

This link is probably better.
posted by IronLizard at 9:04 AM on December 15, 2006

Wow, just... wow. I can't sympathize with a single person in this story. It just fills me with disgust. The child apparently has a history of being completely violent and unresponsive to any form of education, got kicked out of the public system AND the rebound system... and to top it all off, swung at the officer.

At the same time, the mother is showing, by turning over the child to the police to be arrested for something as innocent as opening a christmas present, that she is by no means fit to raise something like a hamster, let alone a child. She'd probably flush the rodent the first time it crapped her carpet. Is she honestly incapable of finding any rational way of disciplining her son? Or does she just want to dump him on the public system and let them sort it out while she forgets she was ever a mother?
posted by tehloki at 9:11 AM on December 15, 2006

Buying a Gameboy for her son with ADHD is a brilliant idea. I hope the set of hypodermic needles she bought for her recovering heroin addict other son is well-received.
posted by flarbuse at 9:24 AM on December 15, 2006

I have ADHD, and have presumably had it my entire life. I've also been playing video games since 1984. I have never swung at an officer before. Buying the little brat ANYTHING is the 'brilliant' idea. He deserves coal, as does she.

Or maybe all the blame should be on grandma's shoulders? She raised mom, right?
posted by hellphish at 10:37 AM on December 15, 2006

She's the great-grandmother, hellphish.

Seriously? Arrest the kid? Now you have to pay fines for your own kid! This teaches the kid nothing at all.... hopefully, it may help the mother. I'm sure some fundamentalist will surely blame this on a girl having a kid when she's only 15... and they may be right about that.

Personally, I'd pop the kid upside the head. The only 'scarring' he'll have is from the belt buckle.
posted by triolus at 10:52 AM on December 15, 2006

Thinking about this a bit more, this may be one of those 'afraid to beat the kid because of child protective services' type things. These people need to get educated on what the difference between discipline and child abuse is.
posted by IronLizard at 10:58 AM on December 15, 2006

"Best of the web."

Ditto. Whereever did you find this site? Someone needs to spread this story all over the internet, stat!
posted by Eideteker at 12:27 PM on December 15, 2006

Wow, davelog: I never realised that by mailing presents to family far away, I was cheating myself out of the whole point!
posted by jacalata at 12:51 PM on December 15, 2006

Well, I was referring to localized gifting. Long distance gifting is just fulfulling a societally-charged obligation.
posted by davelog at 1:00 PM on December 15, 2006

Yeah, it can't be about actually liking the person or anything.
posted by Snyder at 2:58 PM on December 15, 2006

Right, because if you don't give somebody a present on an arbitrarily defined date, it means you dislike them.
posted by tehloki at 3:29 PM on December 15, 2006