POTY

December 16, 2006 6:52 PM

'You' are Time's Person of the Year. Seriously.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (131 comments total)

puke
posted by synaesthetichaze at 6:54 PM on December 16, 2006

I thought this was better than many of the alternatives.

Colbert was the only other reasonable choice.
posted by unSane at 6:54 PM on December 16, 2006

Lack of suitable candidates among the traditional pool, perhaps?
posted by djgh at 6:58 PM on December 16, 2006

you suck as person of the year
posted by nola at 6:59 PM on December 16, 2006

* blushes, accepts award on behalf of all the little people *
posted by rob511 at 7:03 PM on December 16, 2006

Does this mean we all get raises? or more sex?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:03 PM on December 16, 2006

So lame.
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:04 PM on December 16, 2006

wtf
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:05 PM on December 16, 2006

Your favorite person of the year sucks. Which is you. You suck.
posted by interrobang at 7:05 PM on December 16, 2006 [6 favorites]

they get lamer and lamer each year--this one must have been the Marketing Dept's choice.

I would have gone with "Axis of Evil" striking back--Iraq a debacle, Iran getting nuclear and gaining strength in the region, and N. Korea showing how impotent we are (or choose to be--when there's no oil)

Next year it should be Pelosi--if things get fixed at all, that is.
posted by amberglow at 7:05 PM on December 16, 2006

me? but I suck.
posted by jonmc at 7:05 PM on December 16, 2006

Me and Hitler. Cool.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 7:05 PM on December 16, 2006 [2 favorites]

(oh, after Colbert's speech at that correspondent's dinner, it'll never ever be Colbert.)
posted by amberglow at 7:06 PM on December 16, 2006

Well, I suck now. But I was into me back in the day. Before everybody was into me, back when I was cool. But then I got popular and sold out. and now I suck.
posted by jonmc at 7:06 PM on December 16, 2006 [3 favorites]

Don't sell yourself short, jonmc -- you're a tremendous slouch.

- Caddyshack
posted by davidmsc at 7:07 PM on December 16, 2006

*prepares speech*
posted by gomichild at 7:07 PM on December 16, 2006

Is it a good idea to put "TIME Man of the Year 2006" on my CV?
posted by Arcaz Ino at 7:08 PM on December 16, 2006 [7 favorites]

Give me a fucking break.
posted by keswick at 7:09 PM on December 16, 2006

Me and Hitler. Cool.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese

if only hitler had been born in the "Information Age" he never would have been so much trouble.

just sitting at home nights arguing on the interwebs with jonmc about circumcision and punk rock.
posted by nola at 7:09 PM on December 16, 2006

That's so sad. Not really in the mood for celebrating the awesomeness of humanity right now.
posted by liquorice at 7:09 PM on December 16, 2006

I'm famous! When do the blowjobs start?
posted by Meatbomb at 7:10 PM on December 16, 2006

In 2006, Time fellates YOU
posted by 2sheets at 7:10 PM on December 16, 2006

is that something steven hawkings said?
posted by nola at 7:11 PM on December 16, 2006

I really wish I could be someone who didn't care about this, but instead I'm just really pissed off. Person of the Year isn't the Special fucking Olympics. The entire point of the exercise is that everyone doesn't get a medal for participating. The purpose of the issue is to address the person or persons who, for bad or worse, most affected world events of that year. So they picked... everyone? Well of course everyone affected world events the most, fuckwits.

2001 was the year that Time blatantly copped out on the entire point of the issue and they've never recovered. Osama bin Laden was clearly the person who, like Hitler in 1933, affected world events the most that year. But they gave it to Giuliani because bin Laden wouldn't sell magazines and readers would be too stupid to realize it's not an award.

So now, five years later, Time's given in and decided that Person of the Year is, officially, an award. Congratulations, Time Magazine is now Everybody Gets a Trophy Day.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:11 PM on December 16, 2006 [6 favorites]

I'm famous! When do the blowjobs start?
posted by Meatbomb at 10:10 PM EST on December 16

In 2006, Time fellates YOU
posted by 2sheets at 10:10 PM EST on December 16

I do not understand the rules of "FTW" very well -- can I give both of these posts together "For The Win" status?
posted by andreaazure at 7:13 PM on December 16, 2006

This is so totally going on my resume.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:13 PM on December 16, 2006 [5 favorites]

This marks the first time the award has gone to a Native American. It's touching!

On the other hand, I can't believe they gave it to Dennis Rader. :(
posted by Arcaz Ino at 7:16 PM on December 16, 2006

im in ur magazine, killin ur n00z.
posted by Alt F4 at 7:19 PM on December 16, 2006 [5 favorites]

What are you people talking about? I totally deserve this award.

I'm not so sure about you, though.
posted by hifiparasol at 7:19 PM on December 16, 2006

If a drunk, early-thirty-something white male who just now got over being bummed out over the Battlestar Galactica cliffhanger and the retarded future move of the show to Sunday nights, who decides to pop in the Mefi for a few secs while watching a MSNBC documentary on Indiana prisons (which should have been The Late Show with Craig Furgeson, but his Tivo fucked up the channel changing as is does now and again but, hell, it's not like he has anything better to do,) and waiting for the ice cubes to melt a bit in his next drink, and is also ready to cue up "Talladega Nights," that A Certain DVD Mailing Company sent him, even though Will Farrell weirds him out, right afterwards can be the Man of the Year.

What a country.
posted by Cyrano at 7:19 PM on December 16, 2006 [1 favorite]

For the record, George W. Bush has now been Man of the Year three times, equalling FDR.
posted by Arcaz Ino at 7:21 PM on December 16, 2006

I'm in your FPP, killing your overused internet meme.
posted by Effigy2000 at 7:22 PM on December 16, 2006 [1 favorite]

white male

Sorry, YOU can't be person of the year.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:24 PM on December 16, 2006

Time makes fools of us all.
posted by deern the headlice at 7:26 PM on December 16, 2006 [3 favorites]

I knew I bought that Time cover mirror for a reason.
posted by evilcolonel at 7:26 PM on December 16, 2006

I just changed the typeface of MetaFilter in some vain hope that it would make this thread more intelligent but alas it was not to be.

Damn you tahoma!!
posted by liquorice at 7:26 PM on December 16, 2006 [1 favorite]

see ... we ARE all special snowflakes ... so there
posted by pyramid termite at 7:27 PM on December 16, 2006

alternatively ...

fuck YOU
posted by pyramid termite at 7:28 PM on December 16, 2006

Heh, I just told someone that I won Time's Person of the Year, and they weren't mocking.

I obviously have the credibility for it.
posted by djgh at 7:28 PM on December 16, 2006

What a copout.
posted by fenriq at 7:31 PM on December 16, 2006

I blame Dooce.
posted by konolia at 7:36 PM on December 16, 2006

I'd like to thank me for making this possible.
posted by The Deej at 7:36 PM on December 16, 2006

I think it's a brave choice! So often, it's the Americans with lots of disposable income to waste on frivolous purchases that get forgotten in the global media landscape.
posted by milkrate at 7:37 PM on December 16, 2006

*pees his signature in all the special snowflakes*
posted by jonmc at 7:39 PM on December 16, 2006

Me!? Are they fucking high?
posted by loquacious at 7:40 PM on December 16, 2006

as opposed to fucking low?
posted by jonmc at 7:42 PM on December 16, 2006

web 2.0? what utter shit.
posted by quonsar at 7:42 PM on December 16, 2006 [1 favorite]

When we found a supplier in Minnesota, we made the company sign a confidentiality agreement before placing an order for 6,965,000 pieces.

Hm. Who wants to compare the date on the mylar purchase order to the alleged closing date of the "nomination process" described in the article?

Lame AND smelly. Oh wait, that's "me."
posted by rokusan at 7:44 PM on December 16, 2006

Between this and the obit for George Clooney's pet pig, I'm embarassed to have Time on the back of my toilet tank. Guess it's back to Mad and the Sharper Image catalog.
posted by Gucky at 7:47 PM on December 16, 2006

Heh, I'm actually working on my resume right now and I am seriously considering adding this. Down at the end, where people list their Other Accomplishments.

You know, the part that no one ever actually reads.

Tempting... so tempting.
posted by quin at 7:49 PM on December 16, 2006 [1 favorite]

Lame cover, too, like the computer cover from 1982.

For the record, George W. Bush has now been Man of the Year three times, equalling FDR.

Actually just twice, in 2000 (he's really aged since then) and 2004. He's tied with Stalin.

Maybe you were thinking of 1990's freaky The Two George Bushes featuring George H.W. Bush, which may have been inspired by Two Sides of Leonard Nimoy (Spock side, Mission: Impossible side).

List of previous "winners."
posted by kirkaracha at 7:54 PM on December 16, 2006

We should storm they're offices and leave these turds everywhere. To symbolize this turd of an article.
posted by IronLizard at 8:02 PM on December 16, 2006

This just in: Time's Person of the Year just got caught masturbating by his wife (who coincidentally is also Time's Person of the Year.) How embarrassing for me. Him. For him.
posted by ColdChef at 8:04 PM on December 16, 2006 [2 favorites]

The sperm the Person Of The Year left on the Sock of The Year are all Potential Persons Of The Year, you know.
posted by jonmc at 8:07 PM on December 16, 2006

There's still a Time Magazine?
posted by uosuaq at 8:10 PM on December 16, 2006

some people like to masturbate to it, apparently.
posted by jonmc at 8:11 PM on December 16, 2006

Lebowski mirror lol
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:11 PM on December 16, 2006

Actually just twice,

And this year too, no?
posted by Opposite George at 8:12 PM on December 16, 2006

I'm officially changing my name to Poty Hussein Obama.
posted by ericbop at 8:14 PM on December 16, 2006

You're so money and you don't even know it!
posted by SirOmega at 8:17 PM on December 16, 2006

For those complaining about how cheapened the concept has become, do keep in mind that previous winners include science, people under the age of 25, women, and the planet Earth.

I'm just excited that my novelty "Man of the Year" wall hanging is now officially sanctioned.
posted by Simon! at 8:21 PM on December 16, 2006

It really is a lame choice. (2006 was better than 2005, but still not one of my best years.) And now I have to live up to this in 2007?
posted by LeLiLo at 8:27 PM on December 16, 2006

I can't believe they took my plea seriously.
posted by ORthey at 8:40 PM on December 16, 2006

Can I have the cash equivalent?
posted by dirigibleman at 8:46 PM on December 16, 2006

Yet another reason not to buy Time. Thank-you XQUZYPHYR. This and other money saving tips may help me survive until the next pay check.
posted by dangerousdan at 8:51 PM on December 16, 2006

Tur, Simonl, true. *weep*.

As if it couldn't get any worse as a choice, the line "The YouTube Guys: How a couple of regular guys built a company that changed the way we see ourselves" makes me want to throw heavy machinery through somebody's office. Will my photocopier read Time's offices? Hmmm. If these fuckers at Time think YouTube is some kind of existential mirror Revealing The Human Spirit, then I'd like some more of the rubber cement they're snorting. Oh that's right - they probably don't have any rubber cement anymore at newspapers.

Oh Time... how full of shit you really, really are. You make Newsweek look like a bastion of journalism. The editorial writers are high on the stench of Two Point Oh as the 'start' of citizen journalism, like we're all suddenly Edward R. Murrow because we post our bad rendition of crap music videos on a fucking MTV Internet Channel called YouTube. .

Next year's Person of the Year: Time Magazine. I mean, isn't it who it's all about, anyway? Some lame selection that we all blather on about like it actual matters, just so they can sell their rag. I stopped believing in this shite back in grade 4 when we called them 'popularity contests'.
posted by rmm at 8:54 PM on December 16, 2006

Well this is nice. But where can I find a financial services company that is all about Me? Or a department store that's all about Me? I'm so tired of all these places that are about things other than Me!!
posted by washburn at 9:06 PM on December 16, 2006

man what a copout.
posted by sunshinesky at 9:09 PM on December 16, 2006

Khomeini was a brave choice. Of course, hate radio was in it's infancy in 1979.
posted by wrapper at 9:13 PM on December 16, 2006

For the record, George W. Bush has now been Man of the Year three times, equalling FDR.

Actually just twice, in 2000 (he's really aged since then) and 2004. He's tied with Stalin.

I think you missed the joke in there, kirkaracha.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:14 PM on December 16, 2006

They really wrote themselves into a hole with this one. Tune in next year: This inanimate carbon rod!
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 9:14 PM on December 16, 2006

I love how when you hit the first link, you get a Chrysler ad that says "You may not be person of the year..."

Oh, BUT I AM!
posted by fungible at 9:24 PM on December 16, 2006 [1 favorite]

heh, the humor of this hating on a community-driven site.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 9:35 PM on December 16, 2006

This is going to look great on my resume!
posted by SisterHavana at 9:46 PM on December 16, 2006

Nice!

Where's my blowjob?
posted by squidfartz at 9:51 PM on December 16, 2006

Time has jumped the shark.

Besides, Ahmadinejad is the person of the year.
posted by _aa_ at 9:57 PM on December 16, 2006

Time as a magazine blows, particularly if I am to consider for one second that *I* would be placated by their reference to 'you' as being anything like me. Ossified assholes.
posted by nj_subgenius at 10:03 PM on December 16, 2006

Boy howdy, Mallard Fillmore will have a full week of strips about this one!
In the third week of January, of course.
posted by maryh at 10:07 PM on December 16, 2006

I see I'm not alone in betting next year the POTY is going to be Time Magazine's staff or some shit.

To paraphrase The Incredibles: If everyone's Person Of The Year, no one is.

So lame.
posted by sparkletone at 10:09 PM on December 16, 2006

TIME punked out when they failed to name Osama bin Laden man of the year in 2001, selecting instead Rudy Guliani.
posted by three blind mice at 10:10 PM on December 16, 2006

Finally, the recognition that I deserve.
posted by sugarfish at 10:21 PM on December 16, 2006

I don't want to belong to any magazine that would accept me as a member.
posted by Zendogg at 11:20 PM on December 16, 2006

Oh, my wife is gonna hear about this. And she said all these hours spent on teh Interweb was a waste of time ...

PERSON OF THE YEAR, biatch!

... Clearly TIME must retire the meme, as they have proven the cannot be bothered to carry out its primary, threshhold reson for existence: focus.
posted by sacre_bleu at 11:27 PM on December 16, 2006

Does this mean we can all stop surfing now?
posted by thedailygrowl at 12:03 AM on December 17, 2006

Welcome to the "You World Order"!
posted by thedailygrowl at 12:06 AM on December 17, 2006

There is more wit and humor in this thread than any 52 weeks of Time :-)
posted by vac2003 at 12:13 AM on December 17, 2006

Man of the Year: Man
posted by Down10 at 12:18 AM on December 17, 2006

1982's Time machine of the year isn't as cool as 1985's.
posted by hutta at 12:23 AM on December 17, 2006

I'm with the 'wtf, what a copout' crowd.

The 'award' has gone from important distinction right off into insignificance.
posted by ninjew at 12:27 AM on December 17, 2006

I'm a little upset because I didn't win. As far as I have understood, I can never be a part of the group known as "you." So that makes me the biggest loser then. Dang it.
posted by vagabond at 12:29 AM on December 17, 2006

Didn't Coca-Cola win one year?
posted by Cranberry at 12:41 AM on December 17, 2006

Wow, Time must be desperate. The editorial reads like their 'i for one welcome our blogger overlords' appeal, and they've chosen to market to an already overly self-obsessed culture by putting a mirror on the cover.

And kind of depressing, even if typical, that they celebrate 'information' as if it were synonymous with 'knowledge.' I mean, really, youtube? I hated it the first time around, when it was called 'america's funniest home videos.'
posted by troybob at 1:10 AM on December 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

Oh for fucks sake.
posted by kosher_jenny at 1:13 AM on December 17, 2006

If a drunk, early-thirty-something white male who just now got over being bummed out over the Battlestar Galactica cliffhanger and the retarded future move of the show to Sunday nights, who decides to pop in the Mefi for a few secs while watching a MSNBC documentary on Indiana prisons (which should have been The Late Show with Craig Furgeson, but his Tivo fucked up the channel changing as is does now and again but, hell, it's not like he has anything better to do,) and waiting for the ice cubes to melt a bit in his next drink, and is also ready to cue up "Talladega Nights," that A Certain DVD Mailing Company sent him, even though Will Farrell weirds him out, right afterwards can be the Man of the Year.

If you're going to write all that out, at least complete the sentence.
posted by alidarbac at 1:42 AM on December 17, 2006

Get me Uriah Heep on the phone. I smell reunion.
posted by hal9k at 2:26 AM on December 17, 2006

*gives keswick a fucking break*

*polishes Meatbomb's knob*

*buffs nails against chest*

*puffs out chest*

*makes ready for close-up*
posted by cgc373 at 2:29 AM on December 17, 2006

There is more wit and humor in this thread than any 52 weeks of Time :-)
posted by vac2003

That's true, but it's not saying much. TIME did the shark-jump long before Fonzie.
posted by or at 5:12 AM on December 17, 2006

what utter shit.

Jeez, quonsar, they make you man of the year and that's all you can say? Ingrate.

/hasn't read Time in at least a decade
posted by languagehat at 5:39 AM on December 17, 2006

Only who has won Time Magazine's Person of the Year?

You have selected "YOU" referring to "ME" the answer, is "YOU"
posted by haveanicesummer at 5:42 AM on December 17, 2006

Well, once they find those pictures it's all over.

(look, I was young and foolish...)
posted by jonmc at 6:00 AM on December 17, 2006

Apparently I can't dress for shit.
posted by sidereal at 6:44 AM on December 17, 2006

this thread is funny, and I agree it's kind of a cop-out, but it is also pretty accurate. It fits with their having chosen "young people" in '66, women in '75, the computer in '82 - they were not wrong about the importance of those categories, and they're not wrong about this. Maybe people just feel it's too obvious, but I don't really think Time's job has ever been anything but to state the obvious - to just put into print what's generally known, for posterity's sake. If you're imagining revelations from them, I think you're reading the wrong magazine.
posted by mdn at 6:51 AM on December 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

though maybe I'm biased, since they did choose me for Person of the Year '06. Or didn't you know?
posted by mdn at 6:56 AM on December 17, 2006

Next stop, the Sexiest People Alive!
posted by schoolgirl report at 7:07 AM on December 17, 2006

A rising Time lifts all boats.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:51 AM on December 17, 2006

Um... huh? GYOB much?
posted by rkent at 8:03 AM on December 17, 2006

Little known fact: if they couldn't get all that Mylar in time, they were just going to pick the most popular YouTube member.
posted by danb at 8:29 AM on December 17, 2006

If you're imagining revelations from them, I think you're reading the wrong magazine.

If you're imagining I'm reading this magazine, I think you're having the wrong revelation.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:53 AM on December 17, 2006

but enough about me...how do you like my new dress? ; >
posted by amberglow at 9:27 AM on December 17, 2006

I'd like to thank my agent, my personal trainer, my dog-walker . . . .
posted by jason's_planet at 9:41 AM on December 17, 2006

Ossified assholes

Hey! You stole the name of my new band!
posted by evilcolonel at 9:51 AM on December 17, 2006

Yay copyright violation!
posted by Artw at 10:36 AM on December 17, 2006

This definately does boost my self esteem.

I mean, ME as Person of the Year? Wow, I'm up there with the computer, the American soldier, Bono, and Hitler.
posted by champthom at 10:42 AM on December 17, 2006

I mean, ME as Person of the Year? Wow, I'm up there with the computer, the American soldier, Bono, and Hitler.

But not Osama.
posted by amberglow at 10:57 AM on December 17, 2006

I knew that sleeping, bathing, and working less so's I could make more ineffectually fatuous typo-ridden comments about ephemera would pay off this year!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:44 AM on December 17, 2006

Now that it's all about me, how about that steak and blowjob?
posted by moonbird at 11:51 AM on December 17, 2006

Next stop, the Sexiest People Alive!

Sorry, I've already got that one sewn up.
posted by jonmc at 12:10 PM on December 17, 2006

What? They didn't make the article explaining why everybody is the person of the year a fully editable wiki? I have a good mind to decline the award, I tell you.
posted by flashboy at 12:20 PM on December 17, 2006

Nora Ephron on the honor: ...Don't you love it? I especially love the part about "working for nothing," I especially love the condescension in that phrase, the dead giveaway about how Time Magazine really feels about the giant collective unwashed, unpaid You Out Here that is nonetheless making life a misery for Them In There -- for the Old Media scrambling to figure out What It Means for things like the future of print, the paper business, network television, privacy, and their jobs, for which (it goes without saying) they are paid. ...
posted by amberglow at 1:35 PM on December 17, 2006

and from the comments there: Maybe they think everyone will buy that issue and look for their name.
posted by amberglow at 1:37 PM on December 17, 2006

I really wanted to see another Person of the Year awarded to GWB -- Time has been cheering like crazy for the man since 2000 and NOW they dump him? that's just mean.
posted by matteo at 2:48 PM on December 17, 2006

I'm almost shocked it wasn't Suri Cruise or Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. The two of them have racked up more press coverage than... well, I don't know. Important things.

I guess they're included, but how much internet access do they really have at the ripe old age of 7 months? Hmm. Maybe I don't want to know.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:16 PM on December 17, 2006

"TRIUMPH OF THE SHEEPLE"

-Sparx, Time Man of the Year 2006
posted by Sparx at 4:27 PM on December 17, 2006

Figures that Time's Person of the Year was just another spineless, pandering choice.

They should've just pandered directly and had their man of the year be The Man.
posted by chimaera at 8:20 PM on December 17, 2006

As mentioned: Are you a Lebowski Achiever?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:04 PM on December 17, 2006

I don't really think Time's job has ever been anything but to state the obvious - to just put into print what's generally known, for posterity's sake. If you're imagining revelations from them, I think you're reading the wrong magazine.

Very late to this thread, but mdn deserves kudos for this. I've worked for Time Magazine (the Canadian version). My editor once described the "house style" as "sustained obviousness." I'm not kidding, and neither was he.
posted by gompa at 10:53 PM on December 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

George Will:

It’s about narcissism, which is why a mirror is absolutely perfect. So much of what is done on the web is people getting on there and writing their diaries as though everyone ought to care about every one's inner turmoils. I mean it’s extraordinary.

posted by kirkaracha at 6:58 AM on December 18, 2006

You is a serial killer.
posted by Creosote at 7:19 AM on December 18, 2006

Amusing ad that wasn't up on who got names as "Person of the Year".
posted by GuyZero at 7:25 AM on December 18, 2006

Yet another reason why I describe The Economist as "like Time or Newsweek, but for people who think."
posted by pax digita at 7:29 AM on December 18, 2006

You
posted by amberglow at 9:56 AM on December 22, 2006