1: Cut a hole in a box..

December 17, 2006 7:46 PM

A Special Christmas Box (youtube) might get pulled, but here's the official NBC video (which wants to resize your browser) of the newest SNL Digital Short, featuring Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg, two guys who know when a gift needs giving.
posted by hypersloth (79 comments total)

Totally not best of the web.
posted by rbs at 7:52 PM on December 17, 2006

I saw this the other night and it actually made me laugh out loud a few times. It's very well done.

Timberlake is also a surprisingly able SNL host.
posted by The God Complex at 7:52 PM on December 17, 2006

Totally not best of the web.

I hope you die in a fire. Merry Christmas!
posted by The God Complex at 7:53 PM on December 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

Ok, I take it all back. I just watched past the first 30 sec. Pretty sweet.
posted by rbs at 7:56 PM on December 17, 2006

Hah! But I used my "die in a fire" line. I'm only taking it back if you give someone a cock in a box for Christmas...
posted by The God Complex at 7:58 PM on December 17, 2006

There's no place I'd rather put my cock than in a box.
posted by rbs at 8:02 PM on December 17, 2006

forgot to mention, the NBC link is uncensored.
posted by hypersloth at 8:10 PM on December 17, 2006

and it's "dick", not "cock"..
< /semantics>
posted by hypersloth at 8:11 PM on December 17, 2006

Laughed. Cried. Bought a box.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:15 PM on December 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

and it's "dick", not "cock"..

Really? I hadn't heard the uncensored version yet. That's a comedy misstep, right there--though I'd argue that the "bleeping" is much funnier, as is often the case (see: TDS/TCR).
posted by The God Complex at 8:17 PM on December 17, 2006

Instant classic. : )
posted by SisterHavana at 8:20 PM on December 17, 2006

my misstep for not linking properly the first time 'round, though I only heard "dick" last night while searching for an upload, and found a lot of "cock" instead.
Strange what we hear when there's a bleep in the way. I agree; the bleep can be funnier, especially when pushing the envelope of network television..
Excuse me while I kiss this guy. There's a bathroom on the right.
posted by hypersloth at 8:24 PM on December 17, 2006

So they've got from one joke sketches to one joke digital videos. Progress people, progress!
posted by Null Pointer and the Exceptions at 8:26 PM on December 17, 2006

The only reason this wasn't funnier for me was because literally less than two hours ago I was watching a DVD of Mr. Show that had nearly the exact same gag of two guys riffing on that style of white guy R&B duos. Sans the whole "dick in a box" thing, the skit was eerily similar- in fact, David Cross and Justin Timberlake almost had the same costume.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:31 PM on December 17, 2006

Uncensored version on YouTube, posted by NBC.
posted by Spire at 8:33 PM on December 17, 2006

This is hysterical.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 8:35 PM on December 17, 2006

10000 frat boys just got their next halloween costume idea.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:44 PM on December 17, 2006

I found this sketch very funny (although I, too, heard "cock" under the beep and was surprised it was actually "dick"). To me, the funniest part is that Justin Timberlake was in it- singing with the same intensity and sincerity he had back when he sang cheesy NYSNC songs.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:48 PM on December 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

I always loved Color Me Badd. If they'd thought to put their dick in a box, they'd have made zillions.

(And "Cock" is funnier sounding in relation to the song.)
posted by beaucoupkevin at 8:52 PM on December 17, 2006

I found this sketch very funny (although I, too, heard "cock" under the beep and was surprised it was actually "dick"). To me, the funniest part is that Justin Timberlake was in it- singing with the same intensity and sincerity he had back when he sang cheesy NYSNC songs.

I just think that in terms of how they actually sound, "cock in a box" is funnier. The construction of the words is similar in that you have an 'aw' sound in the middle, followed by a hard 'k'.

This is me, overanalyzing! ;)
posted by The God Complex at 8:52 PM on December 17, 2006

Broadway Danny Rose would not approve.
posted by The Deej at 8:56 PM on December 17, 2006

XQUZYPHYR, I was thinking the same thing
posted by skullbee at 9:00 PM on December 17, 2006

The God Complex, maybe the similar vowel sounds make "cock" funnier. But as I just said at Videosift, I think "dick" is funnier than "cock" in most contexts because it's a more playful word. I find "cock" to be more effective in more aggressive comedy.
posted by maudlin at 9:14 PM on December 17, 2006

The difference between when Mr. Show did it in the 90s and when SNL does it now is that groups like Color Me Badd and Boyz II Men were the pop cultural norm and if not taken seriously, they were at least enormously successful - basically, waiting to be skewered. It's easy to look back now and make fun of it now, but to what end? "Boy that music back then sounds funny? Didn't we all dress weird?" At this point, it's not satire - it's homage. (See also, the terrible SNL short "Please Don't Hurt My Testicles")

This is, by and large, the problem with all SNL sketches. They don't take a stance, they don't have anything challenging, comedically, to say and they offer nothing but loving, gentle Pillsbury Doughboy pokes at current cultural trends. They use pop culture references as a way to a) seem relevent and b) communicate jokes to people in a recognizable form. "Here is a character you recognize from shows more popular than ours. Now listen to them say unusual, unexpected things and oh, hey, look how expensive our sets are!" Paris Hilton's (or whoever's) existence isn't the joke, just the mannerisms. For that matter, any comedy show that allows celebrities to "make fun of themselves" (control their image) is inevitably toothless.

I don't mean to rain on the dick joke parade. Poop is funny. Farts are great. Dicks are hilarious. You just have to know how to use them and while putting them in a box is funny for a minute, I don't know that it's funny for three.

But, you know, I sort of need to unclench and your favorite sketch comedy show sucks and all that.
posted by StopMakingSense at 10:00 PM on December 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

i *totally* agree with you, stopmakingsense.

this is why i completely stopped watching SNL a few years back, and if i was ever stuck at home on a saturday night, i know id rather watch Mad TV, which despite its problems, at least puts itself out there.
posted by phaedon at 10:04 PM on December 17, 2006

Okay, TPS. That was actually funny. I still hate Timberlake though.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 10:06 PM on December 17, 2006

little man with a big dick... tatorship!
posted by phaedon at 10:10 PM on December 17, 2006

The Drew Carey approach.
Drew Carey content potentially offensive to some.
posted by dhartung at 10:20 PM on December 17, 2006

TV was so much better back in the day, grandkids.
posted by smackfu at 10:34 PM on December 17, 2006

It's been a sad state of affairs at SNL for the last few years, while half the cast can preform, the writers, standards or advertising is to blame for the change in content. While the digital shorts are now by and far the best part of the show they don't really say anything. Hopefully new talent is found and pumped into the show by next year or we may face another huge shakeup at studio 8H.
posted by Derek at 10:59 PM on December 17, 2006

Oh gods, that was funny! Now I'm going to bed with the damn song stuck in my head. And no gift Box in sight....

I thought it was funny with the bleep (which I translated as cock), but I got a whole 'nother attack of the giggles hearing the dick-in-a-box version.
posted by feather at 11:21 PM on December 17, 2006

Who is Justin Timberlake?
posted by twsf at 11:37 PM on December 17, 2006

StopMakingSense said it better than I could, regarding SNL.

That said, though, I found the SNL piece hilarious, and the Mr. Show thing less than funny. Maybe it's because I always thought David Cross was, like, 8.5 billion times funnier than Bob Odenkirk. Andy Samberg is really in his element here.
posted by hifiparasol at 11:38 PM on December 17, 2006

The God Complex writes "Timberlake is also a surprisingly able SNL host."

This week's episode is the first in a long time that I felt had any real energy. I hope they can keep it going. Also, whatever happened to Chris Parnell? Did he quit or was he fired? I always thought he was pretty funny.
posted by concrete at 12:06 AM on December 18, 2006

This week's episode is the first in a long time that I felt had any real energy. I hope they can keep it going. Also, whatever happened to Chris Parnell? Did he quit or was he fired? I always thought he was pretty funny.

He was canned--for the second time. This time it stuck.

I agree. I don't watch SNL very often, but was home last night and ended up seeing the show. It had some pretty good moments.

And, for the record, I agree that more topical and "out there" humour on SNL would be a treat, but it doesn't need to be skewed towards edgy humor all the time. It's not necessary. Sometimes things are just funny because, well, they're funny (like this was). They don't have to be pointed commentaries on The Way Things Are.
posted by The God Complex at 12:15 AM on December 18, 2006

i don't know what the j. timberlake haterz are watching, but he's hands down one of the best hosts that show ever has... on top of which he's the musical guest as well, and i suppose it might not be some people's cup of tea, but the songwriting (and pairing with timbaland) make his new album one of 2006's best.

yes, i have a gay crush on him.
posted by Hat Maui at 1:04 AM on December 18, 2006

That said, though, I found the SNL piece hilarious, and the Mr. Show thing less than funny. Maybe it's because I always thought David Cross was, like, 8.5 billion times funnier than Bob Odenkirk.

Bob Odenkirk probably wrote some of the SNL skits you've liked in the past.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:49 AM on December 18, 2006

I'm with StopMakingSense. This is an old joke writ 90s. It's not shocking or even that funny. It's just pretty cheap.
posted by psmealey at 4:07 AM on December 18, 2006

I generally hate this sort of thing.

I loved this. Something about the phrase "dick in a box" just makes me giggle like a kid. I'll be saying it all day.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:00 AM on December 18, 2006

I should qualify that ordinarily I enjoy juvenile humor and dick jokes, there was just something about Maya Rudolph reaching into a box and grabbing a fistful of Andy Samberg's flaccid penis that skeeved me right out. Not funny.
posted by psmealey at 5:44 AM on December 18, 2006

You know, I'm so grateful that you linked to the "Digital Shorts" entry. Seeing as how I just discovered the internet five minutes ago, I could never have stumbled upon any sense of presumption as to what this fashionable production and distribution model was all about. Thankfully, an hemorrhaging, anemic, decrepit entertainment staple has made it quite clear by miming it in the most pathetic fashion. /vomiting blood
posted by prostyle at 6:21 AM on December 18, 2006

Who shit in your cheerios?
posted by smackfu at 6:25 AM on December 18, 2006

I saw this Sat. nite and thought - Wait for the dumb guys singing this on work break and circulating it on the internets.

I just wish I had $100 for every idiot who doesn't know they're parodying idiots like him and actually tries this at Xmas.

TV was so much better back in the day, grandkids.
Hey, I remember when the original SNL *was* cutting edge.
(And I assume Timberlake is someone that actual "hip" people laugh at? Altho' he was OK here.)
posted by NorthernLite at 6:41 AM on December 18, 2006

That said, though, I found the SNL piece hilarious, and the Mr. Show thing less than funny. Maybe it's because I always thought David Cross was, like, 8.5 billion times funnier than Bob Odenkirk.

Cross: standup albums, Arrested Development.
Odenkirk: wrote Let's Go to Prison.

Hmm.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:24 AM on December 18, 2006

Isn't it way past time for the show to be over when there are not one, but two current shows during prime time that include some element of it as a part of their plotlines? As much as I was no fan of Tina Fey, 30 Rock is consistently much edgier and funnier than SNL. But what's sad about that is that it really doesn't have to try that hard to be funnier.

SNL is the Rolling Stones of sketch comedy shows. Every once in a while, they can put something out there that's midly entertaining, but mostly, you just wish that they'd stop. It's not worth it and they mostly are just humiliating themselves by being a tired, mainstream version of what they used to be.
posted by psmealey at 7:29 AM on December 18, 2006

maudlin: "The God Complex, maybe the similar vowel sounds make "cock" funnier. But as I just said at Videosift, I think "dick" is funnier than "cock" in most contexts because it's a more playful word. I find "cock" to be more effective in more aggressive comedy."

I'm with maudlin. The word 'dick' should almost always be preferred, except where aggression or misogyny is the effect being sought. e.g. Cocksocket, cockblocker, etc.

And Justin haters? Cry me a river.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:55 AM on December 18, 2006

It was funny, but the difference between SNL and actual edgy comedy is that edgy comedy doesn't have to appeal to the masses. (and doesn't have celebrities available at the drop of a hat to help their sketches)
All that said, cock > dick, but I think dick is more apropos to Justin Timberlake... he's got no soul.
links NSFW
posted by eparchos at 8:51 AM on December 18, 2006

The word 'dick' should almost always be preferred, except where aggression or misogyny is the effect being sought.

Exactly why such "rules" don't work. Cock is vastly funnier here.
posted by teece at 9:28 AM on December 18, 2006

I'm willing to put Justin up there in my top five SNL hosts (Alec Baldwin holds #1 with tenure...I don't watch SNL so #3 - #5 is up for grabs).

I'm also a big fan of The Barry Gibb Talk Show...not so much because it's funny, but because I can listen to Gibb impersonations (and Walken impresonations) all day long.
posted by NationalKato at 9:29 AM on December 18, 2006

teece, NBC has put the uncensored version (with "dick") up on YouTube. I don't think they would have done so if the word had been "cock". Thus, the net humour was greater for getting the uncensored version put out there.

That said, "cock" is my epithet of choice in a lot of situations. Sam Kinnison, The Aristocrats, and a hell of a lot of other raw comedy just doesn't work with "dick".

Maybe it's like what George Carlin said about "tits" in his Seven Words routine. "Tits" is a friendly, perky word. I think the short "i" sound in "dick" gives the same jaunty effect that works for light, mainstream comedy.

Tits doesn't even belong on the list, you know. It's such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. 'Hey, Tits, come here. Tits, meet Toots, Toots, Tits, Tits, Toots.' It sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don't mean the sexist snack, I mean, New Nabisco Tits. The new Cheese Tits, and Corn Tits and Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits Onion Tits, Tater Tits, Yeah. Betcha can't eat just one. That's true I usually switch off . But I mean that word does not belong on the list.

Actually, none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I am not completely insensitive to people's feelings. You know, I can dig why some of those words got on the list...like cocksucker and motherfucker. Those are...those are heavy-weight words. There's a lot going on there, man. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. They're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those K's. Those are aggressive sounds, they jump out at you. CocksuckerMotherfuckerCocksucker . It's like an assault, on you. So I can dig that.

posted by maudlin at 9:39 AM on December 18, 2006

MetaFilter: Doesn't smell like Toddfuck.
posted by rusty at 11:27 AM on December 18, 2006

Jesus Christ. Cock? Dick? Pop Culture? David Cross? Whatever. You guys think way too much.

Do you have to suck every molecule of joy out of what is merely a silly moment. I swear it's like listening to the two loser dudes from the record store in High Fidelity in here.

Must the uptight brigade over-think every little thing? Now I know who to avoid at meetups.
posted by tkchrist at 11:41 AM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]

Sucking dick and cock sounds good to me. But now I know who to avoid at the next meetup.
posted by maudlin at 11:56 AM on December 18, 2006

I swear it's like listening to the two loser dudes from the record store in High Fidelity in here.

Wait. Those guys were supposed to be losers?
posted by psmealey at 12:16 PM on December 18, 2006

Also, I think we have done an excellent job clearing up the issue with regard to when use of the work "dick" is more comically appropriate than "cock".

But what of "prick"?
posted by psmealey at 12:24 PM on December 18, 2006

You guys think way too much.

I think it's time we all just stopped thinking. Thinking's what got our dicks in these boxes in the first place.
posted by NationalKato at 12:47 PM on December 18, 2006

Sucking dick and cock sounds good to me. But now I know who to avoid at the next meetup.

Trust me. If you guys blather that much about nothing at meet-ups you won't get your cock OR your dick sucked. Well. Post mortem. You could stick it in there after you bore them to death.
posted by tkchrist at 1:02 PM on December 18, 2006

As a songwriter:

1. Dick is closer, although not very close, to Jack than Cock, because it isn't a near-rhyme.

2. If your six-year-old nephew said "Dick" in this context, you'd be less inclined to express shock than if he said "Cock".

3. Prick is too long. Of a word. Yeah, you knew what I meant.

4. Wang wouldn't have even been close.

As a viewer:

The joke is still relevant because that music from the 90s is Justin Timberlake's past; it is the thing that made him famous. He's moved on (arguably) musically, so this isn't about "Hey, that music of the 90s was awful"; rather, it's about "Hey, that music that I/Justin used to make was awful."

In fact, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that this was a song he wrote "back in the day" and never recorded, with new lyrics by the SNL guys.
posted by davejay at 1:19 PM on December 18, 2006

I need to clarify the Jack thing in my previous comment; "Jack in the Box" and "Dick in a Box" are just similar enough to trigger the vision of it "popping up", even if you don't realize it. "Cock in a Box", by virtue of the rhyme, spoils that already-tenuous connection.
posted by davejay at 1:21 PM on December 18, 2006

Trust me. If you guys blather that much about nothing at meet-ups you won't get your cock OR your dick sucked.

Trust me, tkchrist, I've been practising for that disappointment all of my life. I've got jack in the box.

And I think you misunderstood my statement, but no biggie. Arguments in the blue are fun and I don't take them too seriously.
posted by maudlin at 1:27 PM on December 18, 2006

I liked this very much. I remember Color Me Badddddd and others of their ilk from my freshman year of high school (I actually really liked them. I was young and impressionable, and, as an isolated Alaskan teen, grasping at any pop cultural straws I could find, so sue me!) and my embarrassment about that dark phase in my life makes me really susceptible to "satire" like this. I guess I'm their target audience. "Aww tick tock you don't stop stop"-- and I'm laughing hysterically. I loathe SNL's dependence on celebrity guests in EVERY SINGLE SKIT (one of the many reasons I don't watch, like everyone else) but I loved the way JT sang his ass off for this one. Especially those last boy band flourishes and frills right at the end...
posted by trichomaniac at 1:32 PM on December 18, 2006

Cock is obviously funnier and flows better.

I assume that they used "dick" because they thought that it might have a chance of making it past the censors. I don't watch much tv, but I know they were saying words like "bullshit" and "asshole" on NYPD Blue several years ago. Quite frankly, I am surprised if they were not allowed to use "dick" at that time of night.
posted by flarbuse at 3:06 PM on December 18, 2006

Do you have to suck every molecule of joy out of what is merely a silly moment. I swear it's like listening to the two loser dudes from the record store in High Fidelity in here.

There were three loser dudes in the record store. Unless you weren't counting Rob Flemming / Gordon, in which case I don't think you were paying attention and should probably go back and re-read/watch it. (Sorry, I had to. Uptight brigade regulations.)
posted by Gary at 3:18 PM on December 18, 2006

I think the vowel sound in 'dick' is better than the one in 'cock'.
posted by smackfu at 3:34 PM on December 18, 2006

I laughed, therefore it is good.
posted by Frasermoo at 3:43 PM on December 18, 2006

Is there something wrong with the fact that I did not laugh at this?

In fact, I'll go one further. I kind of, well, found this whole thing offensive on a level beyond the toilet/lockerroom humor. It reminded me of all the guys in high school, wearing the clothing that they say their favorite pop/sport/movie star wearing. Only wearing it badly. And being praised for it rather than mocked roundly (well, I mocked them, but that does not make it a round mocking). Maybe I'm just in the wrong mindset to enjoy this as humor.

Wait, no, I take it all back. I know what it reminds me of even more. Those video places at the mall where you can have your head inserted onto the body of someone else while you lip sync to a song. You know, the one all the drunk tourists have fun laughing at their friends doing and then take home a tape to show everyone (meaning their coworkers who you trick into coming over, and their family members who you guilt into obligation holiday visits). And they laugh and say "hahaha, wasn't that funny?" while you sit there uncomfortably and look at them sideways, smiling nervously and wonder "what is wrong with this person and how to I escape here without this insane person angry attempting to bludgeon me with some heavy blunt object?"

You know that feeling? Yeah, that's what this made me feel.


You are all diseased.
posted by daq at 4:27 PM on December 18, 2006

Um... it's just a dick in a box joke daq. No, those aren't choppers and Charlie isn't coming.
posted by eparchos at 7:29 PM on December 18, 2006

That was pretty funny. At least these guys can laugh at themselves and the crap they used to do 10 years ago.

The scary part is realizing how many people thought that crap was actually all that good in the first place without it being their profession.
posted by clevershark at 8:16 PM on December 18, 2006

No eparchos, is a 3+ minute long dick in a box joke. There is a difference. You know, like the difference between a knock knock joke and the fucking clown shoes joke. And it's not even the Aristocrats, it's fucking a dick in a box. For 3 minutes. No real build up, no real expounding on the dick in a box. Just, a dick in a box. For 3 minutes. Like I said. A music video where your drunk coworker lipsyncs to a bad pop song with their head digitally imposed onto another body.

Now that I think about it, no this is FUCKING CLOWN SHOES..
posted by daq at 8:26 PM on December 18, 2006

daq, you seem really upset. Did someone give you a special holiday box one year?
posted by beaucoupkevin at 5:12 AM on December 19, 2006

Or maybe he wanted one and didn't get it?
posted by smackfu at 6:41 AM on December 19, 2006

Cock is obviously funnier and flows better.

Dude, if your cock is flowing, might I suggest some tetracycline?
posted by psmealey at 7:21 AM on December 19, 2006

At least it wasn't 3+ minutes of daq in a box.
posted by NationalKato at 8:10 AM on December 19, 2006 [1 favorite]

I like Apple Pie better than Pumpkin Pie.

Yes, I realize apples are a rather hackneyed western symbol of Puritanism, but it for that I am reclaiming apple pie. Let me further deconstruct. Apples are simple. they stand alone. Only fool dos not like an apple - barring fatal allergy. There are hundreds of varieties of apples. Pumpkins? Pumpkins are not really for eating. They are for carving and for lanterns. And not even the first choice for that. Originally it was the turnip...

[snip: 700 words exposition on pumpkins and Post Feminism]

...further the pumpkin must be processed past the point of recognition... more sugar, spice etc must be added. Let me ask you is it Pumpkin Pie? Or Sugar Nutmeg Pie? Hah! The latter...

[snip: 800 words on Pie History and Japanese agriculture]

... in closing one simply MUST like Apple Pie. Clearly the superior choice of right minded people.
posted by tkchrist at 11:01 AM on December 19, 2006 [2 favorites]

cue the inevitable t-shirt.
posted by Hat Maui at 1:17 AM on December 22, 2006

NationalKato writes "At least it wasn't 3+ minutes of daq in a box."

This comes close.
posted by concrete at 1:09 AM on December 23, 2006

daq, jesus christ dude go get some liquor or some pussy/cock (your preference) before you put a bullet in your head. I know people get depressed over the holidays but for fuck's sake.

This was way, way funnier than it should have been.

This is one of those that "on paper" would look stupid. What makes it is how Justin is so INTO it. He is really working it very hard, and he's not holding back. He's 100% committed to the joke, and that is the makings of great comedy.

It's not complicated, it doesn't need to spawn any dissertations. It was a mildly funny premise, paired with mildly funny lyrics, with a mildly humorous musical choice. But, the sum total was greater than its parts. It works, it's funny. I enjoyed it.

After thinking hard about the dick vs cock arguments, I'm pretty sure the bleeped version is actually the funniest. That way, it allows whichever the listener thinks is funniest to be insert.
posted by Ynoxas at 9:06 PM on December 23, 2006

Boobs in a box! Warning: Bad Karaoke
posted by robot at 12:08 AM on December 28, 2006

Pat Boone's Junk in a Box (NSFW) (via)
posted by MikeKD at 5:46 PM on December 29, 2006