Alea iacta est...

December 20, 2006 1:49 PM

Famous(and some not so famous but enlightened, imaginary, infamous, guilty and sadly, some perhaps innocent) Last Words. A few crystalline notions of finality to ponder in this year-end phase of "best of" lists and impending resolutions.
posted by objet (25 comments total)

Are any of them "Hold my beer and watch this"?
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:03 PM on December 20, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

I thought Beethoven's last words were: "Friends applaud, the comedy is finished." According to the 4th link, it's "I shall hear in Heaven."
posted by nathancaswell at 2:04 PM on December 20, 2006

Which is lame.
posted by nathancaswell at 2:07 PM on December 20, 2006

People at the National Transportation Safety Board who are responsible for listening to flight recorders of downed aircraft say that by far the most common "last words" for pilots is "Oh SHIT!" (I'm not kidding.)
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 2:07 PM on December 20, 2006

Always my favorite...

Gen. John Sedgwick: "Why they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--" during the Battle of Spotsylvania
posted by marxchivist at 2:07 PM on December 20, 2006

People at the National Transportation Safety Board who are responsible for listening to flight recorders of downed aircraft say that by far the most common "last words" for pilots is "Oh SHIT!" (I'm not kidding.)

Speaking of which, here's the last words of downed aircraft.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:12 PM on December 20, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

Oh and that geocities page is down, here's the cache.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:13 PM on December 20, 2006

The samurai poetry is fascinating. Some of it sounds like it was composed on the battlefield.
posted by Pastabagel at 2:16 PM on December 20, 2006

My favorite Gahan Wilson cartoon is a man laid dead from a gunshot, his finger having writ in his own blood on the kitchen linoleum floor: "It was... it was... Aaaaaagh!!!"
posted by hal9k at 2:32 PM on December 20, 2006

I hope to have the presence of mind to use "the money... is buried... under the.... aaaauuuugh"

Or, perhaps, "AVENGE ME," which will work best if I die of old age or from a coconut falling on my head, or something equally unambiguously blameless.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 2:32 PM on December 20, 2006

Neat post. Always liked the book by the same name, Famous Last Words: Apt Observations, Pleas, Curses, Benedictions, Sour Notes, Bons Mots, and Insights from People on the Brink of Departure . This site, Last Words, is fun too.

Iacta alea est, the die is cast.

Twice in India I witnessed a person who died while speaking. Both men were Tibetan lamas, in the middle of teaching a group of students about the impermanent nature of life.
posted by nickyskye at 2:44 PM on December 20, 2006

In another note, why do airline pilots always have Texas accents?
posted by gottabefunky at 2:47 PM on December 20, 2006

"Go get help, Fluffy! Before this turns into a hentai snuff film!"

From this poor previously posted gal.
posted by elendil71 at 3:14 PM on December 20, 2006

Twice in India I witnessed a person who died while speaking. Both men were Tibetan lamas, in the middle of teaching a group of students about the impermanent nature of life.

I'm a big fan of teaching by example, but that is a bit extreme.
posted by me & my monkey at 3:15 PM on December 20, 2006

Probably made up, but lovely nonetheless from the wikipedia link:

"Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
-Voltaire (attributed), when asked by a priest to renounce Satan
posted by juv3nal at 3:26 PM on December 20, 2006

My favorite famous last words were spoken by the Finnish author Aleksis Kivi (wiki):
'Minä elän.' Translation: 'I live'.

John Kenneth Fisher, I had decided on the 'avenge me!' a while ago as well. Especially if I'm dying natural causes...
posted by slimepuppy at 3:28 PM on December 20, 2006

Ack! The entry for Emily Bronte is completely wrong.. the quote is, of course, the last sentence of Wuthering Heights; her last words were actually "If you'll send for the doctor, I'll see him now."
posted by jokeefe at 4:12 PM on December 20, 2006

"In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts and in living color, you are going to see another first -- attempted suicide."

Who: 30-year-old anchorwoman Christine Chubbuck, who, on July 15, 1974, during technical difficulties during a broadcast, said these words on-air before producing a revolver and shooting herself in the head (While she drew the gun on camera, the technicians quickly cut the video feed, but the gunshot could be clearly heard). She was pronounced dead in hospital fourteen hours later.

Wow.
posted by R. Mutt at 4:13 PM on December 20, 2006

similar vein to R.Mutt's choice (death heard on air):

* Hit the water!...Hit the water!...Hit the water!...

Who: Jane Dornacker as she was giving a traffic report for radio station WNBC via helicopter. The helicopter stalled and plummeted into the Hudson River while Jane was still on the air, unintentionally broadcasting her final moments all across the metropolitan New York City area.

This is really getting creepy.
posted by divabat at 5:45 PM on December 20, 2006

Plenty of contradictions amongst the various links.
posted by Flunkie at 5:55 PM on December 20, 2006

Wow.

The pdf linked from the wikipedia article on Ms. Chubbuck is fascinating. Says she announced "attempted suicide" because she didn't want to be wrong in case she somehow failed and lived.
posted by juv3nal at 6:21 PM on December 20, 2006

Jesus, yes. Was that really in the WaPo? It's incredibly earnest.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:55 PM on December 20, 2006

infamous — Will Rodgers: I told em I was sick.

Well, not true. Will Rogers was killed with aviator Wiley Post in a 1935 Alaska crash. No word of any last words.

After his expedition's failure to reach the South Pole first, Robert Falcon Scott's last diary entry is tragic and poignant:

"Since the 21st we have had a continuous gale from W.S.W. and S.W. We had fuel to make two cups of tea apiece and bare food for two days on the 20th. Every day we have been ready to start for our depot 11 miles away, but outside the door of the tent it remains a scene of whirling drift. I do not think we can hope for better things now. We shall stick it out to the end, but we are getting weaker of course, and the end cannot be far. It seems a pity but I do not think I can write more. For God's sake take care of our people."

posted by cenoxo at 1:18 AM on December 21, 2006

Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do! Groucho Marx
posted by luckypozzo at 11:47 PM on December 21, 2006

Gottabefunky, Wikipedia says that this accent was copied from Chuck Yeager:

Yeager's drawling manner of speech during flight (which Tom Wolfe refers to as "poker-hollow") was emulated by his fellow test pilots after he broke the sound barrier. This permeated into the general pool of military pilots, who became the core of the U.S. airline pilot roster, and so was the basis for the characteristic tone used by American airline pilots to this day.

posted by !Jim at 10:58 PM on December 24, 2006