The night before Xmas
December 25, 2006 10:39 PM   Subscribe

Twas the night before Xmas, eminent domain took my house
To convert it to habitat, for an endangered species of mouse.
My town was once decorated, with bright Christmas flair,
'Til someone dropped a dime and the ACLU got there.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste (33 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: metafilter is really not the place to grind your axe on christmas.



 
Foot and loot totally do not rhyme.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 10:46 PM on December 25, 2006


All that set up for a protracted Bill Clinton joke? This reminds me of something else.
posted by jmhodges at 10:46 PM on December 25, 2006


The widdle wipubwican is angwy that he wost the wegiswature!

Awww... So cute!!! It's all those liberals (The Clenis!!!!) who've had all that power all that time that have caused all that trouble, eh steve? Get over it.
posted by Freen at 10:48 PM on December 25, 2006


Keepin' it Riehl.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:54 PM on December 25, 2006


What is this? A little shit stirring? (add commas as you see fit)
posted by edgeways at 10:56 PM on December 25, 2006


Wow, this was horrible.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:58 PM on December 25, 2006


> Both sad but true.

Ah yes, true indeed. In the sense that Bill Clinton flew into this guy's house and repeatedly groped his wife. Does that make this newsfilter?
posted by Partial Law at 11:01 PM on December 25, 2006


i couldn't get past the second stanza.
this shit sucked worse than tony danza.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 11:01 PM on December 25, 2006


This seems...small.
posted by maxwelton at 11:02 PM on December 25, 2006


if you read it in an H2, it gets bigger.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 11:06 PM on December 25, 2006


is this what that conservative daily show is going to be like? i better stock up on mops.

you know, for when my sides split with explosive laughter.
posted by Hat Maui at 11:11 PM on December 25, 2006


For this post I had no message, and no agenda. I just thought it was funny.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 11:13 PM on December 25, 2006


Great read. A+++++

Best of the web, indeed.
posted by subaruwrx at 11:14 PM on December 25, 2006


also, it's hilarious that santa clinton came down and totally boned dude's wife while he sat there and did nothing.

that's what the den bestes of the world are afraid of -- getting cuckolded by clinton! hah! hey conservatives -- we're coming for your women!*

*except lynne cheney. and you can keep condi and karen hughes, too.
posted by Hat Maui at 11:16 PM on December 25, 2006


You'd have though that our dear author would have had some form of protection from home invasion.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:22 PM on December 25, 2006


Too bad that whole recent eminent domain thing was a judicial branch thing that happened under Bush's watch.
I can't tell when Republicans whine more about the "evil left": Under a Republican majority or a Democratic one.
posted by eparchos at 11:25 PM on December 25, 2006


It's an interesting thing about humor, jokes have an underlying 'truth' to them. The humor comes from saying something in a novel way. If it's a truth you agree with, it's funny. If it's a truth you vehemently disagree with, it sends you into a rage.

But yeah, what the hell does the ACLU have to do with any of this? It's so bizarre how conservatives dislike the ACLU, conservatives think all sorts of things about it, and a lot of them are false.
posted by delmoi at 11:33 PM on December 25, 2006


Yeah, the ACLU doesn't like eminent domain much, last I checked.
posted by eparchos at 11:37 PM on December 25, 2006


God, I could just about forgive the Clinton jokes, the VW cracks and the assumptions of rampant drug abuse among libruls. Likewise the ignorant shit about environmentalism and taxes and re-deployment.

But for crissakes, how hard is it to stay in a proper iambic pentameter? Tom Jones can stay in a proper iambic pentameter.
posted by EatTheWeek at 11:39 PM on December 25, 2006


Next week I expect to get an email chain rumor, about a house having been taken for an endangered mouse, in a town where the liberals banned the Christmas lights on Main street.
posted by Brian B. at 11:42 PM on December 25, 2006


What rhymes with feminazi?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:46 PM on December 25, 2006


playing yahtzee.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 11:49 PM on December 25, 2006


Why does SCDB get a pass on posting stuff from conservative (and lame) blogs?

Didn't troutfishing get a bannination for this sort of behavior?

As for the the neutral "content" of this post, message to Republicans -- you've had the White House for six years, and until recently both Houses of Congress for even longer. Any complaints you may have regarding our country right now should be directed to George W. Bush, Richard Cheney, Tom Delay, and that fat-ass wrestling coach with an ethics problem -- Denny Hastert, that's the one.
posted by bardic at 11:53 PM on December 25, 2006


i guess he figured the liberals here on mefi would be too busy today burning christmas trees and bibles and stealing toys from non-pagan children.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 11:58 PM on December 25, 2006


eparchos writes Too bad that whole recent eminent domain thing was a judicial branch thing that happened under Bush's watch.

Exactly. But as digby has been pointing out, the supposedly librul MSM is falling into line very quickly delivering the appropriate Republican meme-packaging.

Clinton sending troops to a foreign land = profligate "nation building"
Bush II doing it = "spreading democracy"

Republicans abandoning Congressional oversight = "tough-nosed Realpolitik needed to win against the terrahists"
Waxman and others calling for Congressional oversight now = namby-pamby Dumbocrats who would make sure Osama bin Laden got a fair trial

I could go on. But metafilter tends to be a smarter place than News Channel 7. When it isn't, it should strive to be. SCDB is obviously happy, since he gets to front-page ideological "humor" and Matt or Jess won't touch it less they be seen as anything less than "fair and balanced."
posted by bardic at 11:58 PM on December 25, 2006


i guess he figured the liberals here on mefi would be too busy today burning christmas trees and bibles and stealing toys from non-pagan children.

Actually, I just got home from my Christmas-tree/Bible burning. Good times. Ran out of kerosene a little earlier than I'd have liked.
posted by bardic at 12:00 AM on December 26, 2006


in a pinch, 91% isopropyl works like a charm.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 12:02 AM on December 26, 2006


also, who the hell says "dropped a dime"?
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 12:05 AM on December 26, 2006


I am so desperately confused here: My two most hard line Republican friends both drive VW's, I have no idea why Clinton is still a buzzword, I mean the dude has been out of office for the better part of a decade and still he is a boogieman, and as serious, hard core pro gun individual, I'm not sure what this poem is trying to sell me.

WTF riehlworldview? Where should my allegiances lay? Should I hate the liberals who drive the same cars as my friends? Should I not be pro-gun? Should I dismiss this whole poem because it doesn't make any sense?

My gods people, give me a clue...
posted by quin at 12:06 AM on December 26, 2006


For this post I had no message, and no agenda.

Okay, homeslice. I totally thought this post had, you know, kind of a political theme.

But thanks for making the effort, on this Christmas, to remind us that the ACLU and Bill Clinton control the country. (I had actually forgotten about that fact!)

What else is going on in the world that you can enlighten us about using rhyme, meter and wit?
posted by univac at 12:15 AM on December 26, 2006


So I suppose the worst gift Santa could bring America would be "nationalized healthcare"? You should be so lucky.
posted by CCBC at 12:16 AM on December 26, 2006


merry trollmas!
posted by mwhybark at 12:20 AM on December 26, 2006


den beste of the web.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 12:30 AM on December 26, 2006 [1 favorite]


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