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Stop the hate. Love, Saddam.
December 27, 2006 10:41 AM   Subscribe

Saddam's farewell letter.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (46 comments total)

 
Earlier mail from Saddam: (1) (2)

Feel free to link to the full (translated) text when and if it becomes available, I can't find a source right now.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:41 AM on December 27, 2006


Like anyone gives a shit about him now.

Didn't anyone tell the Iraqis that the midterms are over and convicting Saddam did NOTHING.
posted by Artw at 10:44 AM on December 27, 2006


Dear faithful people, I say goodbye to you, but I will be with the merciful God...

Dialogue you might find in a Mr. Boffo strip captioned, "Signs you're dealing with someone who doesn't understand the consequences of his actions," if Mr. Boffo was a political cartoon.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 10:55 AM on December 27, 2006


Hmm. That doesn't sound like the Saddam I know.
posted by vito90 at 10:56 AM on December 27, 2006


Duh, it's one of his clones.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:56 AM on December 27, 2006


Meh, what's three more deaths in the context of Iraq?
posted by clevershark at 11:01 AM on December 27, 2006


Death penalty is wrong. That said, keeping the asshole alive certainly is a potential embarassment to many...who knows what he may know, what he could say about relationship with other countries, present and past ? No, not only USA..also France et al.
posted by elpapacito at 11:03 AM on December 27, 2006


After a lifetime of quoting Lenin he suddenly morphs to Lennon.
posted by hal9k at 11:08 AM on December 27, 2006


hal9k: "After a lifetime of quoting Lenin he suddenly morphs to Lennon."

A working class hero is something to be?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:11 AM on December 27, 2006


“I call on you not to hate because hate does not leave space for a person to be fair and it makes you blind and closes all doors of thinking,”

I dunno, sounds more like Harrison.
posted by sourwookie at 11:12 AM on December 27, 2006 [1 favorite]


dear saddam

the time to send us and your people a conciliatory letter was about 16 years ago

either you, or your postal service are running very late

sincerely

uncle sam
posted by pyramid termite at 11:13 AM on December 27, 2006


Did anyone else read that headline as "Saddam's last message: 'Don't be hatin' "?

That would have been way cooler.
posted by quin at 11:17 AM on December 27, 2006


Thanks for the memories, Saddam.
posted by homunculus at 11:30 AM on December 27, 2006


"After a lifetime of quoting Lenin he suddenly morphs to Lennon."

The way things are going, they're gonna crucify him.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:34 AM on December 27, 2006 [2 favorites]


dear saddam

the time to send us and your people a conciliatory letter was about 16 years ago

either you, or your postal service are running very late

sincerely

uncle sam


Dear Uncle Sam,

Thank you so very much for the presents over the years. All those CIA analysts and the 'hardware' came in very handy for those little 'problems' I was having.

But Uncle, why did you come and kick my ass like that? Have you been drinking again?

- Saddam
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:41 AM on December 27, 2006 [2 favorites]


Eponysterical.
posted by stammer at 11:44 AM on December 27, 2006


I read it as "Hate the game, not the playa."

Words of wisdom, man. Words of wisdom.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:46 AM on December 27, 2006


I really wanted it to read "Kiss my ass!"

I am disappointed.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 11:50 AM on December 27, 2006


He's positioning himself as a martyr to Iraqi nationalism (in its specifically Sunni variety).

Whoopee. Hang him, and he'll be a national hero from here to eternity as far as the Sunnis are concerned.

Which means, all hell is about to break loose some time in the next 29 days.

Anyone willing to bet that's the real reason for the "let's deploy 20,000 more infantry, like, tomorrow" thing that's going round the Pentagon?
posted by cstross at 11:51 AM on December 27, 2006


More blood on our hands, too bad his trial wasn't in Santa Maria Ca. they know how to do a fair trial there.
posted by hortense at 12:03 PM on December 27, 2006


It's curious that although his directive is "not to hate" the US-led forces, his loyalists promise extensive retaliation upon them. I can't decide whether this means they really love him, or they are mad because their favorite regime now officially, soon eternally, sucks.
posted by owhydididoit at 12:03 PM on December 27, 2006


Just to be clear on this Iraq hangs the prisoners executes differently from the Western hanging tradition of neck snapping semi-instant death. Iraqi hanging is death by slow strangulation as the executed are winched up from the ground.
posted by srboisvert at 12:05 PM on December 27, 2006


Saddam: winch or lynch?
posted by phaedon at 12:10 PM on December 27, 2006


Saddam: winch or lynch?
posted by phaedon at 12:10 PM on December 27, 2006


But Uncle, why did you come and kick my ass like that? Have you been drinking again?

it's that oil ... it makes me feel like a crazy, crazy man
posted by pyramid termite at 12:14 PM on December 27, 2006


Will the real news story please stand up:

Saddam Hussein, due to be hanged within 30 days, said his execution should be seen as a sacrifice for the nation and called on Iraqis to unite and fight U.S. forces in the country.

and

Saddam Hussein called on Iraqis not to hate the U.S.-led forces that invaded Iraq in 2003 in a farewell letter posted on a Web site Wednesday, a day after an appeals court upheld the former dictator's death sentence and ordered him to be hanged within one month.
posted by itchylick at 12:48 PM on December 27, 2006


Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought this would happen to me. As a dictator of a repressive regime, I found myself alone in my palace one evening. That was until I realized the cleaning woman was still here....

Boom::chikca::boom::Gwowww!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:03 PM on December 27, 2006


Saddam: winch or lynch?

Say it a third time, I triple dog dare you. /candyman
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:18 PM on December 27, 2006


'I am no scar.'
posted by dorisfromregopark at 1:20 PM on December 27, 2006


Will the real news story please stand up:

This whole war has been a non-stop season of bullshit from the get-go, but I suppose the public is still gullible enough to believe he wrote this letter, let alone believe that the US would allow any communication from a former CIA plant and purchaser of American nerve gas to reach Iraq or the outside world.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:23 PM on December 27, 2006 [1 favorite]


I hope when they hang him they're playing The Rapture's "Pieces of the People we Love"; and I hope they have disco lights, a big replay screen, and the biggest wall of fucking cheapseats this world has ever seen.

And maybe, right before they marionette the fucker, when the air is ripe with electricity (galvanic energy?!), that big replay screen lights up and the people in the cheapseats are treated to a montage of what a good little boy Saddam was for all those years: gas attacks and mass graves and handshakes from Donny.

And maybe while everyone is busy trying to ignore the 1080p elephant in the room the door will swing open and Saddam will hang in the near-death light of a thousand television cameras. But everyone will be too busy Lady Macbething their raw hands to notice, and he'll just hang there, quietly, so quietly you might, if you really listen, hear the sharp intake of breath as a new generation of "terrorists" are born in the fucked-out craters of ruined buildings all over the world.
posted by The God Complex at 1:31 PM on December 27, 2006 [2 favorites]


I'm no expert on the situation over there, but something tells me this is going to be less like a band-aid and more like a pinch of salt in the wounds we've caused in Iraq.

But, I guess everything else that's happened since his overthrow has gone well for the forces of freedom and light, so...
posted by JWright at 1:53 PM on December 27, 2006


I so want to be the one who jumps into the Giant Sandy Bust of Saddam.
posted by ninjew at 1:58 PM on December 27, 2006


They're going to make a martyr of him, and shit is going to blow up. This is about as obvious as saying the grass is green.

It seems to me that most of the events in the middle east are orchestrated to drive up oil prices.
posted by mullingitover at 1:59 PM on December 27, 2006


So long fucker.
posted by aerotive at 3:05 PM on December 27, 2006


"It seems to me that most of the events in the middle east are orchestrated to drive up oil prices."


And to so completely enflame the ME as to require American occupation for oh, however long it takes to get oil a-pumpin' out of the sands of Iraq.

Bush and co. have paid for that oil with our blood and tax dollars, and they're damned sure gonna collect, come hell, high water, or full on regional war.
posted by stenseng at 4:01 PM on December 27, 2006


.

oh wait.
posted by reality at 4:05 PM on December 27, 2006


What cstross said. In an invasion and occupation this horribly botched, it's not surprising that the US is going to stage another mistake -- taking a guy who's pretty much reviled by most Iraqis and turning him into a martyr. As if we need more enemies right now.

Wish the bastard had shot himself. But that doesn't mean the US has to give him exactly what he and the Sunni insurgents want -- which is this.
posted by bardic at 5:16 PM on December 27, 2006


The Globe article claims Saddam still has supporters. I'm really surprised the man has any supporters whose surnames aren't Hussein, and that hanging him could be met with any reaction other than "whatever - let's get back to the actual power struggle". But then perhaps he doesn't - perhaps his "supporters" are actually only co-opting him as a justification for anything they'd like to do.
posted by orange swan at 5:34 PM on December 27, 2006


There are people in Russia who still think Stalin was a great guy.

It's called nationalism, and the US obviously could use some adults in the military and State Department who have a grasp of basic history and culture.
posted by bardic at 5:36 PM on December 27, 2006


The problem I have with the whole opera, is that Americans and Iraqi's have to be stupid enough to believe he had a fair trial. He was tried for an order killing terrorists, which is perfectly legal. Now if they tried him for the crimes against the Kurds, that would have been different.

And they wont even follow their new constitution, wont even follow their own law.

Wonder what 2nd ACT will bring, right after this intermission.
posted by IronWolve at 5:45 PM on December 27, 2006


You will all be happy to know, I just came up with the perfect solution: Saddam will have a stay of execution pending a new project, a FOX reality/ variety show. One where he will have to come out on a nightly basis and crack jokes, dance, and give a Daily Show styled news report.

He will have no writers.

After a few months of this, there is no way anyone in the world will consider him a martyr, people across the world will unite in the desire that the stay be lifted and he be granted a much deserved death. And at that point, he may even welcome it.
posted by quin at 5:54 PM on December 27, 2006


Truly an American icon. He will be missed.

.

OK, seriously: at some point, a self-promoting creep like Saddam becomes an icon, in this case an icon of inept evil. He's a symbol and his eradication is a symbolic act. The real human being, whatever he was like, has become lost in the image he created for himself. Why do tin-pot dictators need to see their image everywhere, frozen in statues or enormous murals? Do they imagine themselves as abstract entities embodying "The State" or "The Revolution"? And, having become something other than human, have they lost the right to be treated as merely human?
posted by SPrintF at 5:57 PM on December 27, 2006


cstross: Anyone willing to bet that's the real reason for the "let's deploy 20,000 more infantry, like, tomorrow" thing that's going round the Pentagon?

I think it's the other way around. The president will be asking Congress for more troops to continue the march toward victory in Iraq during the State of the Union speech - in about 30 days.
posted by swell at 7:27 PM on December 27, 2006


I bet they let him escape, as an excuse for escalation. Maybe the new president of Iraq has the power of the executive pardon. Tune in next week, for Hanging Around With Saddam, or Baghdad Roast, Part 12,306, or Sunni Days Aren't Here Again, or Shiia Pets Gone Wrong.
posted by Oyéah at 8:12 PM on December 27, 2006


Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
posted by stewiethegreat at 9:31 PM on December 27, 2006


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