Patron Saint of WalMart
January 4, 2007 2:21 PM   Subscribe

Angelina Jolie as Madonna of Consumption. Artist Kate Kretz is displaying her painting at Art Miami 2007.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér (43 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
meh
posted by fixedgear at 2:24 PM on January 4, 2007


Kretz's other work also includes psychological clothing and hair embroideries.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 2:27 PM on January 4, 2007


For two seconds, I hoped against hope that this was actually painted, perspective-shifted, on the ceiling of an actual supermarket.
posted by cortex at 2:27 PM on January 4, 2007


I'd hit it. Twice.
posted by dios at 2:29 PM on January 4, 2007


For two seconds, I hoped against hope that this was actually painted, perspective-shifted, on the ceiling of an actual supermarket.

That would have been awesome.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 2:32 PM on January 4, 2007


Them too.

And I'd probably score of those boxes of Mike & Ikes on the shelf.
posted by dios at 2:33 PM on January 4, 2007


Check out the cover of US magazine to the right of the woman in the blue shirt. Zing!
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 2:34 PM on January 4, 2007


"Why Vince Left", a zing? You're joking, right?
posted by tula at 2:47 PM on January 4, 2007


"Why Vince Left", a zing? You're joking, right?

A zing at Jennifer Aniston, on top of portraying her ex-husband's girlfriend as the Virgin Mary.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 2:56 PM on January 4, 2007


Needs more halo.
posted by brain_drain at 3:17 PM on January 4, 2007


Holy cow, that's my mom on the right!
posted by figment of my conation at 3:18 PM on January 4, 2007


I thought it had great impact. The ladies at the bottom plugging endless dollars into the Wal-Mart economy in the vain hope that the right products will transform to the deified ideal portrayed above.
posted by sourwookie at 3:29 PM on January 4, 2007


"transform them"
posted by sourwookie at 3:30 PM on January 4, 2007


I'd buy all kinds of shit if I thought it would transform into Angelina Jolie. Although quite frankly she just looks kind of average to me and I don't get what the fucking deal was although she was hot in Hackers. Her personality is weird too, not attractive.

Give me Scarlett Johansson anyday.
posted by delmoi at 3:36 PM on January 4, 2007


Angelina Jolie has an old-man ass.

She's really not all that once you get past the lips.

I second the Scarlett Johansson. Now that's a real woman.
posted by dopamine at 3:38 PM on January 4, 2007


Really? I thought it was a vision of Her over the TWO ladies below. Notice how the grossly obese woman is framed by the 'restroom sign?

Note too the distrusting look the lady on the RIGHT gives to the entire LEFT?

Am I the only one who notices the U.S. flag hanging down from the clouds? Is it transparent because the cloth is thin or because it's ethereal?

Underneath the RX symbol, you'll see the underground favorite SMILEY FACE which appeared on many MANY MANY acid blotters.

If you look at it just right, the train of Goddess Jolie's dress resembles the crumpled-up marriage license of her beau Brad.

Most noticeably absent are the stretch marks around her childrens' mouth, a clear and obvious sign she isn't breast-feeding them.
posted by jackspace at 3:41 PM on January 4, 2007


:)
posted by jackspace at 3:42 PM on January 4, 2007


Questions for the artist:
- Interesting set of puckers in Baby Shiloh's swaddling — why does it look like she just dropped a load?
- Why is she the only tyke who's clothed ... and lacking visible wings?
- Oh, and WTF?
posted by rob511 at 3:44 PM on January 4, 2007


"Why Vince Left", a zing? You're joking, right?

A zing at Jennifer Aniston, on top of portraying her ex-husband's girlfriend as the Virgin Mary.

I was hoping you were aiming for purposeful absurdity.
posted by tula at 3:53 PM on January 4, 2007


...And I dreamed of Angelina Jolie rising from the earth in a blinding white robe, shading us from the crazed sun of our runaway appetites, suckling the hopes of a generation orphaned from our better natures, the weight of the world cradled lovingly in the pillows of her lips.

Then the drugs wore off, and I made a bowl of soup.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:58 PM on January 4, 2007


Did the soup transform into Angelina Jolie?
posted by cortex at 4:10 PM on January 4, 2007


mmmmmmmm, soup.
posted by fixedgear at 4:18 PM on January 4, 2007


"look at the fat consumerist god-bothering flag-waving American uglies and their bad taste in paintings and movies."
posted by dydecker at 4:35 PM on January 4, 2007


Ugh. Husband stealing media whoring bitch.
posted by WaterSprite at 4:53 PM on January 4, 2007


The supermarket scene looks like an old Mad fold-in.
posted by crank at 5:01 PM on January 4, 2007


One of the books in the newstand is a Csomething Csomething for dummies any idea what it's actually supposed to say?
posted by delmoi at 5:20 PM on January 4, 2007


Thanks for this post Nathanial Hörnblowér . I think Kate Kretz' art is interesting and I love her insightful sense of humor.
posted by nickyskye at 5:29 PM on January 4, 2007


Cool Careers for Dummies
posted by sourwookie at 5:29 PM on January 4, 2007


The only thing that could be done to possibly save this painting is smothering it with cheese whiz. That way, it could be SO cheesy that it would ACTUALLY not be cheesy at all.
posted by Count at 5:59 PM on January 4, 2007


The artist blogs the process of painting this in day-to-day detail.
posted by bobobox at 6:38 PM on January 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


That Coke cooler looks precisely like every one of its kind I've ever seen -- it's amazing. It seems most of them put the Arizona green tea at the bottom, the Coke at the top, and everything else in the middle.
posted by spiderskull at 6:55 PM on January 4, 2007


The illustrated woman's cheeks look pretty hollow in the painting. Perhaps it should be titled Consumptive Madonna?
posted by cenoxo at 7:05 PM on January 4, 2007


That WalMart has a McDonalds in it ... sweet!
posted by doublesix at 7:34 PM on January 4, 2007


Is that on velvet?


And what's the fuss over Scarlett Johansson...

She needs work on that jawline.
posted by wfc123 at 7:50 PM on January 4, 2007


Totally banal.
posted by hermitosis at 8:12 PM on January 4, 2007


I never realized Angelina Jolie looks so much like Robert Z'Dar.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:54 PM on January 4, 2007


Just for comparison, here's a work by the Austrian artist Helnwein brilliantly referencing some Christian iconography :

Epiphany
posted by joedharma at 10:24 PM on January 4, 2007


Wow. This marks the first time I read about something on Perez Hilton before seeing it on MetaFilter. This is so five minutes ago.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:57 PM on January 4, 2007


I am really sick and tired of every half-wit artist on the planet thinking it's somehow innovative, revolutionary, or somehow remotely interesting to take something and "mashup" it with [insert famous chunk of iconography here, be it Soviet, Nazi, American Commercial, Catholic, or whatever].
I mean, seriously, do they understand that the real joke is on them? I mean, taking a pop symbol and blending it with some other pop symbol is supposed to be some sort of mockery of a pop symbol? I hope all of these people end up working at advertising agencies.
posted by eparchos at 1:51 AM on January 5, 2007


Yes, but you see she spent hours on that technically excellent painting rendering the little folds of fabric in acrylic paint. That makes it *so* much more than the visually equivalent Photoshop job.
posted by snoktruix at 5:17 AM on January 5, 2007


I think this is not so good. The rendering at bottom is admirable but not so much so. The transition from the top image to the bottom is awkward. The top part is just bad. Angelina's body is all out of proportion. Her right arm (on the left) is particularly bad in this respect and the tattoo does not give the sense that it is on a three dimensional surface. Their poses, especially contrasted with the figures at bottom, are all stiff and artificial. And the rays of light from above look hasty. The wrinkled mass of gown at AJ's feet looks tacked on, too. All in all, the execution makes it seem obvious that the bottom image was a strict rendition of a photograph, while the top part is an amalgam of disparate reference material. Even if this were a stylistic choice that contributed to its theme, it's not done in a very pleasing way.
posted by effwerd at 6:18 AM on January 5, 2007


Effwerd, that really sums up what I felt too, which I doubt I could have articulated. It doesn't seem like anything outside the realm of any snide caricaturist. Someone mentioned MAD Magazine and that's the feel I get from it too.
posted by hermitosis at 6:48 AM on January 5, 2007


I didn't read all the entries in the artist's blog, but back in September 2006, she wrote: "The bottom quarter of the canvas represents Wal-M*rt, one of the places where the consumer/celebrity worship cycle begins."

I think that's pretty relevant, and not necessarily simply a mashup of difficult pop culture symbols.
posted by parilous at 11:42 AM on January 5, 2007


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