Comments on: Open Up Your Mouth And Feed It

Open Up Your Mouth And Feed It

fandango_matt — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 00:16:35 -0800

Porn Bread: recipes for making your own Vagina Danishes, Bukkookies, and Ejaculaires! SFW, but may be difficult to explain to prudish or hungry co-workers.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 00:30:10 -0800

Is there anything Rachel Ray won't do?

By: Tiresias

Tiresias — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 01:29:50 -0800

Erotic Cakes 2.0 Seriously, when We were made Man of the Year did they, what, miss this stuff? Choose to ignore it? I mean, it's out there in plain sight. Actually, maybe this is the point entirely: if there is a way on this planet to make an eclair look unpalatable, then surely the Internet will figure it out. And good God, has it ever.

By: Bravocharlie

Bravocharlie — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 01:33:09 -0800

Excellent copy-n-pastries! (However, being Danish, I can testify that not all patties look like that).

By: hal9k

hal9k — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 01:52:02 -0800

However, being Danish, I can testify that not all patties look like that I have a cold so these all taste flemish.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 02:41:47 -0800

My favourite.

By: trinarian

trinarian — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 02:59:47 -0800

A few years ago my good friend Jesse came back to northeast Florida with a college buddy from Brown University. His friend being a Caribbean island-man we took him fishing in the Atlantic at the jetties near St. Augustine. Not much a fishing stop, but certainly a good way of absorbing some of the best of Florida. Not being born in my part of the world, Jesse was always trying to show his new friends what The South really was. I'm getting to the sex food, give me a minute, K? Gotta build to it. Gotta do it right. Jesse figured the only way to top off a night of fishing and drinking rum on a beach overlooking the oldest city in America was to take his friend to Waffle House at 2am, which I concurred was as decidedly southern as one can get without actually being in a Huddle House somewhere in southwest Georgia at 4am. For those not in the know, Waffle House is about as low as you can go [in both the best and worst ways] when looking for a restaurant. Cheap and tasty food of dubious origin typically served by a down-and-out redneck looking for tip money at 3am. It's not uncommon to have your server also cook your food. After giving a warning of, "you can eat anything, just stay away from the meat" we all placed our orders. Having a manic sweet tooth and no pot belly at the time I ordered a strawberry waffle. Delicious and you can fool yourself by pretending it's healthy. Our cook/waiter was a thin but jolly 20-toothed man of obvious trailer park descent. The kind of guy who just didn't quite cut it in truck driver school like his more well-off high school buddies, but his attitude and perseverance through adversity obviously marked him as future WH management material by the powers that be. Everyone's food came quick, except mine. "I got something special fer ya!," I was informed. I was thinking of fresh berries, something not to hard to find on the cheap on Florida back roads in the winter. A minute later my strawberry waffle dish came. Whipped cream lined the edge of the round pancake. Bisecting though the center was a long and narrow oval whipped cream valley which had been filled with strawberries and fake strawberry glaze. "I made ja' ah wuhman!!!!"

By: three blind mice

three blind mice — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 03:04:49 -0800

Take reserved plain white icing. It should be fluid and not too stiff. Add milk or water if necessary to achieve a drippy, but not runny consistency. Use a spoon to drizzle the "jizz" over the face cookies. Use as much as desired. Nice, clear, easy-to-follow instructions.

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 03:15:56 -0800

Fun Friday post fandango_matt! Bukkookies and Ejaculaires, so bad. There's also the Erotic Baker and Naughty Baker's Diminished Sex Drive Starting To Affect His Work. Chocolate Fantasies: Female and male. Erotic Chocolate. Naughty party stuff. Erotic fruits and vegetables.

By: jfuller

jfuller — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 03:27:42 -0800

After the kind of party you serve these at, Mike Nifong gets to prosecute you.

By: The Deej

The Deej — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 05:04:37 -0800

I don't think any page with the words "eat my pussy" can be considered safe for work, though.

By: mkb

mkb — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 05:21:38 -0800

if there is a way on this planet to make an eclair look unpalatable, then surely the Internet will figure it out. And good God, has it ever. I got turned off eclaires after watching Van Wilder, personally.

By: jcterminal

jcterminal — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 05:35:21 -0800

trinarian you take that back, waffle house is the best the south has to offer!!

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 05:37:47 -0800

I don't think any page with the words "eat my pussy" can be considered safe for work, though. So what does that make this post, now?

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 05:44:37 -0800

Stone Age. Iron Age. Plastic Age. Cake Age? Snacks for fat perverts. Great. (We're doomed.)

By: LordSludge

LordSludge — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 06:02:21 -0800

Keep your vagina danishes; I prefer danish vaginas!

By: alizarin

alizarin — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 06:05:47 -0800

I think Rainbow Randolph used this one.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 06:22:26 -0800

what, no Butt Muffins?

By: kosem

kosem — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 06:41:17 -0800

I do not want a Bukkookie. But I kinda want to make one.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 07:03:44 -0800

how about crotchssaints?

By: bicyclefish

bicyclefish — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 07:17:51 -0800

Alas. Sent to hang for stealing a loaf of porn.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 07:23:02 -0800

Back when I was a kid, my mother used to make penis cakes for her and female friends' birthdays (Twinkies, cupcakes, cover in frosting) and boob cakes (layer cake, Hostess Snowballs, cover in frosting) for my father's and male friends' birthdays. Then she found Jesus and stopped doing that kind of thing. I guess Jesus doesn't like the pr0n cakes.

By: LordSludge

LordSludge — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 07:34:52 -0800

Jesus did not have genitalia; maybe that explains it.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 07:44:27 -0800

Too much yeast in the vaginaloaf.

By: nola

nola — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 07:47:33 -0800

people that willingly put a baked good in their mouth that resembles a human body part, worry me.

By: romakimmy

romakimmy — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 07:54:19 -0800

I'm sure there's more, but these three popped into my head instantly while perusing the link (in order from least to most pornoriffic):

Lingue di Suocera - Mother in Law's Tongue. A savory rather than a sweet.
Minne di Sant'Agata/vergine - Saint Agatha's/Virgin's Mammaries
- recipe, in Italian
- previously on MeFi
La sorchetta con doppio schizzo - Little pussy with two squirts: cream & chocolate. Made (locally famous) by a late night Roman pastry shop, by now known to all as the sorchetteria (little pussy shop).

By: Western Infidels

Western Infidels — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 08:06:44 -0800

DIY creativity is great and all, but I think these professionally made Kama Sutra Chocolates frankly look classier.

By: dios

dios — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 08:28:53 -0800

Bukkookies Heh. /me totally wants to make some of these with Giada de Laurentis

By: nanojath

nanojath — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 09:26:36 -0800

I'm pretty disappointed that they elected to call what are clearly vagina dentata cookies "Vampire Vaginas." Must we dumb down our pornographic pastry archetypes for the ignorant masses?

By: mosk

mosk — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 09:37:18 -0800

As in real life, some of these are look tastier than others, but the very happy gingerbread man here made me smile.

By: mosk

mosk — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 09:39:35 -0800

Aaarrrggg! ~~are~~

By: nofundy

nofundy — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 10:04:31 -0800

trinarian you take that back, waffle house is the best the south has to offer!! posted by jcterminal Truly damning with faint praise. Imagine the possibilities of refried beans.

By: CynicalKnight

CynicalKnight — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 10:20:40 -0800

Shame I can't find video online of a certain Patrick Stewart SNL Skit

By: shoepal

shoepal — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 12:23:08 -0800

Reminds me of this photo. (self link)

By: maggieb

maggieb — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 06:38:55 -0800

Shoutout for Magnolia Thunderpussy!

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 07:57:13 -0800

Thanks maggieb for that ancient memory link.

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 23:53:15 -0800

people that willingly put a baked good in their mouth that resembles a human body part, worry me. posted by nola at 9:47 AM CST on January 19 You never heard of a gingerbread man or a ladyfinger?