Heavy Metal

January 22, 2007 8:20 AM

Heavy Metal (youtube, stupid)
posted by empath (72 comments total)

"Grandma, what was it liiiiike...."

[sorry]
posted by jonmc at 8:32 AM on January 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

I've never seen spongebobsquarepants before, but if this is what it's like I'll watch it all the time. It totally rocks!
posted by ob at 8:43 AM on January 22, 2007

More proof that death metal can make any video better more surreal.
posted by Dr-Baa at 8:51 AM on January 22, 2007

how do they get frogs to sing like that?
posted by pyramid termite at 8:54 AM on January 22, 2007

That was a little fun.

This is funnier. And better.

More goodness.
posted by koeselitz at 8:59 AM on January 22, 2007

Here's an aperitif
posted by jonmc at 9:06 AM on January 22, 2007

I'm at work with no sound. Are the bands at least any good? Koeselitz?
posted by The Straightener at 9:10 AM on January 22, 2007

BEST. OF. THE. WEB.
posted by dbiedny at 9:13 AM on January 22, 2007

Truer than life.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:15 AM on January 22, 2007 [3 favorites]

The first is mathy death metal: changing rhythms, shifting guitar lines. The vocalist seems relatively creative, capable of the cookie-monster thing but also willing to stretch his voice a little on higher stuff or sneering. They're not that bad, in short. I guess they're a group from Glendale, Arizona called Job for a Cowboy. Here's their myspace page.

The second is of the more brutal strain of death metal. In my humble opinion, it sucks. The drummer does nothing out of the ordinary, the riffs are standard Metallica-sounding ripoff crap, and the vocalist is simply croaking like a frog; he doesn't actually say any words. (Seriously.) It's bad. They're called Amputated, and they're from the UK.
posted by koeselitz at 9:22 AM on January 22, 2007

Haha. Amputated.

DUDE. AMPUTATED.
posted by The Straightener at 9:26 AM on January 22, 2007

A guy I work with listens to that stuff.

It's fun to walk behind him and sing in that Cookie Monster voice about going to Gramma's for freshbaked cookies and milk and then riding a pretty unicorn through a lovely green valley. Cups and Cakes by Spın̈al Tap is also a good one to sing.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:27 AM on January 22, 2007

Gotta say, Burhanistan, that video was pretty fucking awesome.
posted by koeselitz at 9:28 AM on January 22, 2007

The Straightener: "Haha. Amputated. DUDE. AMPUTATED."

Yeah. And they have a song called "Menstrual Cunt Fart."
posted by koeselitz at 9:29 AM on January 22, 2007

Growl Karaoke!
posted by Talvalin at 9:33 AM on January 22, 2007

Fun with Finntroll.
posted by aldurtregi at 9:47 AM on January 22, 2007

Yeah. And they have a song called "Menstrual Cunt Fart."

Bloody Quiff wasn't descriptive enough?
posted by spicynuts at 9:49 AM on January 22, 2007

I think Bloody Quiff means something else in Britain.
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:59 AM on January 22, 2007

Great thread. Fuckin A.
posted by fungible at 10:06 AM on January 22, 2007

Eh. Viddy the lyrics, too. Atrocious.
posted by koeselitz at 10:10 AM on January 22, 2007

There are a lot of great AC videos out there as well.... here is one of my faves
posted by peewinkle at 10:17 AM on January 22, 2007

Yeah koeselitz I'm with you, the first one was awesome and the second just seemed very generic, and a bad example of the genre at that. Thanks for the Meshuggah video. I saw them live last year and they were truly amazing.
posted by ob at 10:24 AM on January 22, 2007

yikes. Loved the growl karaoke. Carlton dance.
posted by nickyskye at 10:36 AM on January 22, 2007

Best thing about the Meshuggah video: Their headbanging is at different tempos.
posted by ardgedee at 10:36 AM on January 22, 2007

I can't decide if the videos make the death metal listenable, or if the death metal makes the videos watchable.

Either way, it's a match made in heaven hell.
posted by itchylick at 10:42 AM on January 22, 2007

That first one is great... even though it's not anime, it would fit so well into one of the AMV Hell compilations...
posted by evilangela at 10:43 AM on January 22, 2007

Metalocalypse

Official site, including a full episode, at least for the time being.
posted by timelord at 10:49 AM on January 22, 2007

I should note that the full episode link only works for PCs, us Mac users are stuck with an episode of Frisky Dingo, which is probably nsfw.
posted by timelord at 10:57 AM on January 22, 2007

Metalocalypse is great. I discovered it the other night and I was not disappointed.
posted by ob at 11:02 AM on January 22, 2007

Spongebob needs a throat lozenge..me thinks.
posted by wavespy at 11:47 AM on January 22, 2007

A Very Metal Charlie Brown Christmas
posted by alikins at 11:51 AM on January 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

Buuuuuud

weeeeeeeeeeeiiissss

sseeeeerrrrrrrr
posted by The Deej at 12:13 PM on January 22, 2007

It's fun to walk behind him and sing in that Cookie Monster voice

I wish metal was still evil. What good is evil, if evil is good??

Sigh.
posted by Skygazer at 12:21 PM on January 22, 2007

It's because you grew up and realized that evil is banal.
posted by basicchannel at 3:03 PM on January 22, 2007

It's because you grew up and realized that evil is banal.

No, it's because you're listening to the wrong metal...
posted by vorfeed at 3:08 PM on January 22, 2007

Sludgecore has the market cornered on evil these days. Try some Grief for a slab of pure sonic sociopathy.

Good luck getting through that one if you're not familiar with the genre.
posted by The Straightener at 3:23 PM on January 22, 2007

Who are you calling stupid, stupid?
posted by Dave Faris at 3:40 PM on January 22, 2007

*buys a one way ticket to midnight*
posted by Cyrano at 4:23 PM on January 22, 2007

That Meshuggah vid is brilliant, as is the Charlie Brown one. :D

::puts some Meshuggah on, turns it up::
posted by VirtualWolf at 6:29 PM on January 22, 2007

Thanks for Grief Straightener. that was great. I played in a sludge/stoner band for a while. Ahh, memories albeit very slow drone-like ones...
posted by ob at 6:36 PM on January 22, 2007

The videos were fairly funny here and there (spongebob cracked me up) but the funniest damn thing about this thread for me was a comment on one of the YpuTube videos, which I shall post here for posterity:

"....seriously. Are you people actually debating what subgenre of metal that unintelligible garble was? "Grindcore" and "blackmetal", etc. If you spent less time talking about inane bullshit you might be able to move out of mom n' dad's basement and actually (feel) the touch of a woman.

Kill yourself."

Now that's comedy!
posted by caution live frogs at 7:25 PM on January 22, 2007

Is this thread taking requests? I wanna hear some Pig Destroyer over an episode of Golden Girls.
posted by sleevener at 8:31 PM on January 22, 2007

His pants aren't square, they are parallelepipedal.
posted by Tube at 8:38 PM on January 22, 2007

Sludgecore has the market cornered on evil these days. Try some Grief for a slab of pure sonic sociopathy.

Bah. To me this sort of thing sounds like doom metal minus the metal -- nothing about it approaches evil or sociopathy, especially given the self-pitying lyrics, which are best described like so:

"SHOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEE... GAAAAAAAAZZZZZEEEE!"

Man, that's so emo... I mean, evil!
posted by vorfeed at 8:48 PM on January 22, 2007

Check out our own dodgygeezer's Muppet Bolt.
posted by agropyron at 8:55 PM on January 22, 2007

I know a few guys at my job who are REALLY INTO METAL. Good god, I tried explaining to one of them that since I can't understand a damned thing the singer is... I don't know, screaming? I really can't enjoy the music.

I get told that the lyrics are really deep, intellectual and I would have to look up reference material to really understand the song.

Too bad I'm not into doing book reports on craptastic music.
posted by Talanvor at 10:23 PM on January 22, 2007

For some reason, I find the fact that one of "Job for a Cowboy"'s guitarists is named Ravi Bhadriraju. Doesn't seem death metal to me, but what do I know?
posted by milnak at 10:49 PM on January 22, 2007

Talanvor: I absolutely love the music, but I generally can't understand what they're saying either. ;) I don't really pay very much attention to lyrics anyway, even when they are intelligible.
posted by VirtualWolf at 11:21 PM on January 22, 2007

That's the funny thing, if the wailing was removed and I was just left with instrumentals I'd probably be happy to listen to it.
posted by Talanvor at 11:33 PM on January 22, 2007

Hah, yeah, my mum often says "They make such impressive music, then ruin it with all the screaming!". ;)
posted by VirtualWolf at 11:45 PM on January 22, 2007

Talanvor : "I tried explaining to one of them that since I can't understand a damned thing the singer is... I don't know, screaming? I really can't enjoy the music."

You can't enjoy music without understanding the lyrics? That kinda sucks, huh.
posted by bugbread at 2:50 AM on January 23, 2007

Well, not if they're actively hampering the enjoyment of the music. For instance, I can listen to Rammstein without a problem since I'm not even trying to interpret the words, as I cannot understand German.

Now when it's in English, and I still can't understand them, then it's like a screwdriver taken to my brain and bugs the holy shit out of me.

Plus, if the lead singer can't, well, sing, then maybe it'd be better not to have one, eh?
posted by Talanvor at 4:08 AM on January 23, 2007

With death metal, the vocalist is just another texture that contributes to the style, so complaining that the vocalist is ruining the music is missing the point somewhat.

However, for those of you who like the music but hate the singing, there is something for you. Nevermore play a fairly brutal style of metal that verges on death metal but with 'proper' singing, and Electro Quarterstaff who play instrumental death metal!
posted by Talvalin at 6:54 AM on January 23, 2007

"Bah. To me this sort of thing sounds like doom metal minus the metal -- nothing about it approaches evil or sociopathy, especially given the self-pitying lyrics, which are best described like so:

"SHOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEE... GAAAAAAAAZZZZZEEEE!"

Man, that's so emo... I mean, evil!

Grief's been doing this for almost fifteen years, in fact they along with Eyehatehod pretty much invented the genre. Just an FYI that maybe you're a little out of your depth with that assessment.
posted by The Straightener at 8:05 AM on January 23, 2007

Grief's been doing this for almost fifteen years, in fact they along with Eyehatehod pretty much invented the genre. Just an FYI that maybe you're a little out of your depth with that assessment.

I'm not ignorant of the history of this band. I just don't find much worth in this subgenre, regardless of how long it's been around. If it has to be slow, I prefer more metal-based stuff like Winter or Goatlord (or even classic doom like Candlemass and Vitus) to the sludge bands.

Besides, "that band has been doing this for 15 years!" still doesn't make those lyrics evil or sociopathic. I don't care how long you've been writing songs, if your main subject is how lonely you are and you don't fit in and how sad that makes you, that's not evil. Most Grief songs are about that, in one way or another, so they're not evil. QED.
posted by vorfeed at 12:29 PM on January 23, 2007

Talanvor : "Now when it's in English, and I still can't understand them, then it's like a screwdriver taken to my brain and bugs the holy shit out of me."

Ok, that makes quite a bit more sense to me.

What about, for example, the Cocteau Twins? Their singer is (was) extremely good, but I didn't even realise she was singing in English for about a decade, until the internet told me. Can you appreciate a band like that (given that the singer is quite good)? And, if you assume it's a foreign language, or a made-up language, and can appreciate it, do you lose the ability to appreciate it when you find out it's actually English?

The Straightener : "Grief's been doing this for almost fifteen years, in fact they along with Eyehatehod pretty much invented the genre. Just an FYI that maybe you're a little out of your depth with that assessment."

I don't follow.

Vorfeed: "Band A's music isn't evil. The lyrics are self-pitying."
The Straightener: "No, they invented the genre, and have been playing this for 15 years."

How does your statement negate Vorfeed's?
posted by bugbread at 3:09 PM on January 23, 2007

Urgh, after finally actually reading the lyrics...

Well, let's review the conversation in more depth.

A: "I miss when Metal was Evil"

B: "Sludgecore like Grief has the market cornered on evil nowadays. Check out these totally evil lyrics:

I drown in my self-pity
don't need your sympathy
alone I wait for the end
I'm sick of seeing your fucking faces

no one at my funeral
friends - I had none
nobody cares that I'm dead
no one ever knew my name
I died lonely and miserable
life meant nothing to me

A: "That's not evil, that's emo."

B: "They invented the genre and have been playing it for 15 years, so you're wrong when you say that those lyrics aren't evil."
posted by bugbread at 7:49 AM on January 24, 2007

C: "music to slit your wrists in the bathtub by"
posted by pyramid termite at 8:58 AM on January 24, 2007

D. You guys are weak.

I mean let's face it, metal (pronounced Meh - ill ) is about as evil as doo wop these days and just as quaint. For real evil , I recommend Power Electronics. It's a harsh tiny worldwide scene that flirts with some horrid things. I like it conceptually, but it's a dark place to be for too long, but on the other hand nothing clears the pipes of psychic pain like the stuff, just don't forget to come back to reality as this is as obsessive, extreme and romanticized vision of sadness and ear bleeding psychopathia as you could ever want. I would say it's the aural equivalent of the Vienna activists. This is a good page to start.
posted by Skygazer at 1:20 PM on January 24, 2007

I mean let's face it, metal (pronounced Meh - ill ) is about as evil as doo wop these days and just as quaint.

Most of the evil metal is way underground, these days. If you're judging by what you see in the mainstream or on the street, you're missing it. I agree with you that some of the power electronics/darkwave stuff is definitely evil, though. I know a lot of people who alternate their listening between that and the more extreme metal subgenres.
posted by vorfeed at 2:17 PM on January 24, 2007

This is a good page to start.

clicks for a few minutes, can't find a sample anywhere to listen to, decides that this is a very abstract form of evil music here ...
posted by pyramid termite at 11:06 PM on January 24, 2007

Okay Pyramid...


Turn your speakers up, crank the low end, click on THIS

...and hold on to the contents of your stomach.

Sheesh do I have to do everything around here??
posted by Skygazer at 8:12 AM on January 25, 2007

**NSFW!! (use headphones.)
posted by Skygazer at 8:17 AM on January 25, 2007

sigh ... if i had only known ... instead of just walking around factories being paid as a security guard or an inspector, i could have RECORDED the sounds there and gotten a musical career in the POWER ELECTRONICS genre

by the way, the sounds at a transmission manufacturing plant beat this all to hell ... and then there's the smell ... and instead of funky little 7 minute snatches you get to listen for at least 8 hours ... 12 if there's overtime!

i remember they'd have a radio blasting the shit out of led zeppelin or other classic rock ... unless you were a yard in front of the speaker, you couldn't even hear the damn thing over the WACK!! WACK!! WACK!! of the die stamper

nsfw? ... crap, it fuckin' SOUNDS like work! ... yeah, i can just imagine wanting to come home to listen to this after working in a factory all day
posted by pyramid termite at 8:41 AM on January 25, 2007

ps ... this particular piece sounded much like the treatment furnace there, with a few trucks rolling by ... subtract the trucks, add the die stamper and the high pitched whining of the overhead lines and drills and it would be pretty close with the right mix
posted by pyramid termite at 8:44 AM on January 25, 2007

by the way, the sounds at a transmission manufacturing plant beat this all to hell ... and then there's the smell ... and instead of funky little 7 minute snatches you get to listen for at least 8 hours ... 12 if there's overtime!

Sweeet! You should record it and call your band / project Transmission Manufacturing Plant of Death ( (i.e., TMPD). Get some t-shirts made up and a website and you're the new Power Electronics bad ass. Ding! Sweet Power Electronic groupies with big black shiny tank boots will be cahse you around the block

The live experience if done through a good sound system and many shots can be hugely unpleasant and intense.

..and it's as suseptible to parody as metal.
posted by Skygazer at 9:50 AM on January 25, 2007

Sweeet! You should record it and call your band / project Transmission Manufacturing Plant of Death ( (i.e., TMPD).

alas, now i only work in a milk carton factory, which does have loud sounds, but they're just not as good as those transmission plant noises

poor me ... i'll just have to do my rpm challenge cd with guitar, bass, drum samples and keyboards ... it's limited and it won't ever measure up to power electronics, but i'll do the best i can
posted by pyramid termite at 10:22 AM on January 25, 2007

Skygazer : "Turn your speakers up, crank the low end, click on THIS"

Wait, they've gone and put good old-fashioned "noise" under the "industrial" umbrella now? What the hell, are people going to start calling cowboy music "hard house" and gamelan music "darkwave"? That "power electronics" sample was just plain noise, same as Merzbow and other non-industrial company have been making for years and years. It's about as "industrial" as Frank Zappa or Mozart.
posted by bugbread at 12:13 PM on January 25, 2007

(Don't get me wrong, it's nice, very relaxing, but the only industrial thing I can find is an occasional very low Skinny Puppy-esque vocal).
posted by bugbread at 12:16 PM on January 25, 2007

The Power Electronics branch is composed of what you might call purists who draw a connection with avant Garde/early industrial like Throbbing Gristle or SPK (early) or NON, Einsturzende Neubaten and performance art like Coum transnmissions or Survival Research Laboratories (SRL). Writers like Burroughs, Gysin and Ballard. As well as hundreds of experimentational artists which I can't even begin to name, artists, who put out beautiful records, CD's and Cassettes with handmade covers and amazing art and extreme graphics. You'll find a bunch of it at the RRR records and the Tesco USA site.

In the late 80's and early 90's industrial became commercial and that led to the slew of Skinny Puppy like Wax Trax acts which was never true Industrial but Art techno or club music which morphed further int the industrial metal (i.e., NIN) etc....but this darker strain has always been around. (In no way for popular consumption...) and kept alive by bands like White House. Who is credited with being the originators of Power Electronics. And that band especially revels in extremity sexual, scatological etc subversion misogynistic. But if they get rise out of you that's the whole point. Admittedly sometimes I can only describe some of this music as deeply retarded. Other times hilarious in it's extremity. Collectors love the shit too...some of the early WH stuff goes for big bucks.
posted by Skygazer at 2:35 PM on January 25, 2007

Ah, to be fair, I misunderstood some stuff at Wikipedia and got "power electronics" and "power noise" mixed up. Power Noise, apparently, is a 21st century genre, and I thought that's what your sample was, so I was thinking "WTF, 'noise' has been its own genre, outside the rivethead genre, for decades. They've subsumed and renamed it now?" I realize now that "Power Noise" is not noise, but some sort of Laibach-like military industrial, that "Power Electronics" is noise, and that the term has been around for quite a while. Sorry about the rant based on my confusing myself about the genre names.
posted by bugbread at 2:45 PM on January 25, 2007

milnak: Way late, but there's a burgeoning metal scene out of India. The growth of a technology-fueled middle class is doing it - there was an article in Spin back in September, IIRC. (The article was given to me by the Indian-heritage drummer who introduced me to Metallica and Pantera back in high school.)
posted by cobaltnine at 3:21 PM on January 25, 2007