What's good for the goose.....

January 23, 2007 9:13 AM

It's genital evolution day! Penis evolution. For my money, evolution reached it's zenith with the Argentine Lake Duck. Plenty more MeFi penis related shenanigans here , including the penis museum.
posted by lalochezia (31 comments total)

Half a meter? It'll be coming out her nose! (Neat stuff)
posted by klangklangston at 9:28 AM on January 23, 2007

Pigs also have corkscrew shaped penii when erect. Here's a pic of a detached (and flacid) pig penis.
posted by buggzzee23 at 9:31 AM on January 23, 2007

For my money [shot], evolution reached it's zenith ...

Nice euphemisms.
posted by Peter H at 9:32 AM on January 23, 2007

MetaFilter needs more yowza.
posted by Richard Daly at 9:32 AM on January 23, 2007

it's its zenith

Usage example: the elephant is eating its apple. It's a small apple. It's not that hard, folks.

/pedant
posted by killdevil at 9:35 AM on January 23, 2007

I actually thought it was funny saying "it is zenith", like a caveman pointing down.
posted by Peter H at 9:37 AM on January 23, 2007

Dr Kevin McCracken of the University of Alaska, Fairbanks...

If your name is McCracken, you might want to stay away from studying sex organs. Just saying.
posted by peeedro at 9:39 AM on January 23, 2007

Actually, ith zenith. Rhymths with penith.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:42 AM on January 23, 2007

You mean my whang?
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:47 AM on January 23, 2007

MetaFilter needs more yowza Danza.

Ok, talk to you later.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:50 AM on January 23, 2007

Colocalicious!
posted by Balisong at 9:59 AM on January 23, 2007

Oopsh. Grammar apologies. Its "It's" was in the wrong place.
posted by lalochezia at 10:03 AM on January 23, 2007

A friend of mine was doing his PhD in environmental biology and was able to deliver the perfect response at parties when somebody asked what he did for a living.

"I measure the length of the penis in female marine gastropods"

His research was focused on the estuary health along a stretch of the east Australian coastline and primarily on the effects to the local environment by marine paint on the hulls of ships in high traffic areas.

The initial stages of his investigations were devoted to devising a means by which hypothesized negative effects could be assessed. So he was busy collecting marine life samples for the first year at regular distances away from the high traffic areas - obviously looking for something that changed and could be measured in the appearance or chemistry of some lifeform which was proportional to the distance from these shipways.

His analysis revealed the perfect specimen for study: the female marine gastropod, or sea snail. In areas of low boat traffic they were found to be normal but the closer his sampling got to the urban areas, the greater was the prevalence of sex changed female sea snails and in the middle of the waterways with the largest number of vessels, you guessed it, the longer were their penises.

So my favourite party story is to tell the story of my friend, the chick dick measurer of course.
posted by peacay at 10:17 AM on January 23, 2007

Long Duck Dong
posted by exogenous at 10:18 AM on January 23, 2007

Welcome to Jamaica, mon.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:19 AM on January 23, 2007

I would be remiss not to mention The Life of Mammals' segment on the Northern Right Whale. That creature's penis is, in the words of host David Attenborough, "twelve feet long and highly mobile."

There may be something on YouTube, but I can't access it at work. The footage is spectacular.
posted by taliaferro at 10:33 AM on January 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

At last, the answer to "Why A Duck?"
posted by hal9k at 10:49 AM on January 23, 2007

Well, "hung like an Argentine lake duck" has now entered my battery of science-geek-phrases-at-the-ready...
posted by caution live frogs at 11:15 AM on January 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Fits nicely with the origins of the vagina!
posted by Drexen at 11:41 AM on January 23, 2007

I would be remiss not to mention The Life of Mammals' segment on the Northern Right Whale. That creature's penis is, in the words of host David Attenborough, "twelve feet long and highly mobile."

http://www.bbcmotiongallery.com/Customer/SearchDetails.aspx?searchText=PENIS&type=Keyword&itemId=886a4a10-13ab-4b14-93eb-dd487e4c8933
posted by scrump at 12:00 PM on January 23, 2007

Hmmm. Whaddaya know... some people might actually have penis envy towards ducks. Life's funny.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:06 PM on January 23, 2007

Thank you scrump - it's a marvel to behold
posted by taliaferro at 12:41 PM on January 23, 2007

I miss the IMG tag.
posted by pwb503 at 1:12 PM on January 23, 2007

Evolutionarlily speaking, my equipment is the product of Cope's Law.
posted by sourwookie at 1:42 PM on January 23, 2007

sourwookie, are you referring to this?
posted by exogenous at 2:10 PM on January 23, 2007

Hold on guys, the record is held by the humble barnacle! When the want to be male (investigate the barnaculous possibilities) their penis is 27 times their body lenght. They can choose to be either male or female, but when they are male, .... well they hold the worls record.
The whale penis sheath being used as a kind of bio-hazard suit ( aka Melville) is true but pales in comparison ( size wise, and isn't size what matters?)
Also used as a butchering apron by whalers
posted by Wilder at 4:53 PM on January 23, 2007

Gosh way too many typos to correct, need to stop working now...
posted by Wilder at 4:54 PM on January 23, 2007

It sounds like you guys need to get your arguments intact!
posted by untitledalex at 8:50 PM on January 23, 2007

Whale penis.
posted by Mitheral at 11:39 PM on January 23, 2007

I feel it's my duty to report that as of January 2004, the Icelandic Phallological Museum sold its collection to a private buyer and has closed.

What some dude wanted with a boatload of Icelandic wildlife penises is beyond me, but there you have it.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:45 PM on January 23, 2007

Thanks Mitheral, but I'm feeling a little emasculated now.
posted by dbolll at 12:36 PM on January 24, 2007