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January 24, 2007 12:30 PM

Stacey Finley convinced 22 friends, neighbors and relatives that she could have satellites scan their bodies for disease, then have CIA agents administer secret medicines to them while they slept. [via]
posted by brundlefly (22 comments total)

Damn. I so want my money back.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 12:33 PM on January 24, 2007

Idiots. Everyone knows it's the aliens who probe you when you sleep.
posted by Pastabagel at 12:36 PM on January 24, 2007

I see a whole new line of Nigerian scams developing from this brilliant idea. "Dear Friend: It so happens that because of my recent valuable services to a highly secret US government agency, I have been allowed to include a limited number of friends in a program designed to maintain the health of our elected leaders. Here's how it works . . . "
posted by beagle at 12:40 PM on January 24, 2007

So we have a predatory con-artist who scams her family and friends to the tune of $1 million, and she is sentenced to 20 years, and one thread down we have a person being sentenced to twice that for having to work on someone else's machine which infected with malware.

I think we as Americans need to get our Justice meters recalibrated.

(Though the 20 years issued here seem warranted, if she actually gets the full sentence, that is.)
posted by quin at 12:42 PM on January 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

And I couldn't even make $1000 selling Amway. What a pro she must be.

Note to self: Always sell high. As in, make sure I'm high enough to make up a suitably ludicrous and impossible claim to sell people. The path to riches lies along the path of magic and mystery. So long as you're surrounded by total rubes.
posted by krippledkonscious at 12:43 PM on January 24, 2007

Proof positive that man is directly descended from the bleached turds of pre-masticated chewing gum.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:56 PM on January 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

Why can't I come up with great home-business ideas like this?
posted by amyms at 12:59 PM on January 24, 2007

Oh, how I want her confession to get posted on The Smoking Gun.
posted by Gucky at 1:02 PM on January 24, 2007

Something about someone being born every minute -- or something.
posted by ericb at 1:04 PM on January 24, 2007

I can't even convince 2 friends that I can fix their computers. I need more gullible friends.
posted by davejay at 1:14 PM on January 24, 2007

My parasitic relatives aren't half that industrious or creative. Lazy bums.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:43 PM on January 24, 2007

If you'll give me your mefi password, I can have NSA agents log in while you sleep and fix your typos.

This would normally cost about forty large, but I'm willing to hook you up pro bono because you're good people.
posted by cortex at 1:58 PM on January 24, 2007

Stacey Finley deserves an award. Money is power, so she was taking power away from the (powerfully) stupid. It's the same reason you don't let a moron play with a gun.
posted by spaltavian at 2:21 PM on January 24, 2007

And this, folks, is why we need good public education systems, not like those debased systems of the states mentioned in the story (Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi, for those of you keeping score).
posted by Mental Wimp at 2:55 PM on January 24, 2007

After reading some mefite comments about using AIRBBORNE and other snake oil cures this is not so surprising. Homeopathy, magic water, religion it's all OK if you "believe".
posted by Merlin at 7:09 PM on January 24, 2007

Between this and the stories a few years ago about people literally putting "Give me money" on a web site and getting tons of money, I realized something.

I way overthink things.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:08 PM on January 24, 2007

And give me money.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:08 PM on January 24, 2007

Only in the south. These were the same people that probably gave their first saving to Robert Tilton and Jimmy Swaggert.
posted by cdavidc at 8:38 PM on January 24, 2007

dirigibleman : And give me money.

I am intrigued by your reasoning. Here is a dollar. Tell me more.
posted by quin at 9:01 PM on January 24, 2007

Her story sounds perfectly plausible in light of recent developments in satellite laser hair removal.
posted by teg at 9:41 PM on January 24, 2007

Only in the south.

Because the south has a monopoly on idiocy, correct? Man, you only see that kind of arrogance in Colorado.
posted by brundlefly at 11:55 PM on January 24, 2007

dirigibleman: do you take PayPal?
posted by Mental Wimp at 8:15 PM on January 25, 2007